/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Marchofthepenguins: Jun 1, 2016; Mental hygiene should be practiced after every meal

LadyPictureShow posted:

I (29m) can't stop smelling women

Hasn't he heard of a little thing called Vick's VapoRub? Guy clearly needs to watch more CSI shows.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 20:54

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# ? May 14, 2024 08:37

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

SpaceViking posted:

Only morons think it's a good idea to announce an engagement during someone else's wedding.

I agree it's a total dick move, but so many people do it at weddings and their families cheer them on. It's far more accepted in homophobic rear end in a top hat circles than your gay brother bringing his partner.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 20:57

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not letting a friend use my umbrella in a Japanese downpour?

Let your friends die for their negligence

Or you could stop being stubborn and be nice instead

LadyPictureShow posted:

I (29m) can't stop smelling women

Date dudes instead, they smell different

# ? Aug 19, 2019 20:59

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

LadyPictureShow posted:

I (29m) can't stop smelling women

i'm giving 4:1 on "will end up living in seclusion, subsisting entirely off soda crackers and bottled water" and 5:2 on "just a plain old serial killer." taking all bets

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:00

Such Fun: May 6, 2013

MarcusSA posted:

Announcing major life events at not your wedding isn�t cool no matter what it is.

Also the race thing totally isn�t the same thing.

He�s not announcing a major life event. He doesn�t plan to stand on a chair, tap a glas with a knife, and loudly proclaim �Dear family, friends, effective immediately I will commence being gay�
He just wants to bring his boyfriend.

Other guests do not need to be notified in advance of anybody being openly gay.
�No, no, I�m totally fine with the gays. I just really wish he had told me, it really caught me off guard.�

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:01

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for wanting our nanny to stay for an extra 2 hours on weeknights, so I can have time for the gym?

quote:

My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter. We both work, so during the days we have a nanny come in. We still wanted to prioritize family time though.

I have been feeling really drained recently, missing the hobbies I did before we had our daughter. Back then; I'd do kickboxing right after work on Mondays and Wednesdays, and yoga right after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

And I realized I could still swing it, potentially.

My time away from home, work and commute combined, is 8:00 am - 4:30 pm.

My husband is away from 8:00 am - 7:00 pm because he works longer hours and had a longer commute.

If I started going back to working out, I'd still be able to make it home before 6 or 7 every day, and still be able to spend time as a whole family. To be honest, when I have been getting home at 4:30 every day, and taking over from our nanny, all I've wanted to do was zone out.

So I mentioned to my husband that I was gonna offer our nanny more hours during the week, so I could get to the gym. He went "ok" but didn't seem to be thinking about details, and he didn't ask any more questions.

So, for the last few weeks, I've been having our nanny stay till 6:30 every weekday, she's happy to have the extra hours and I'm enjoying getting back to my workouts. Plus I use Friday evening to do some grocery shopping alone because it's a lot easier than doing it with a kid in tow.

I was casually taking to my husband about our monthly budget, which I manage because I'm better with cash, and how I was offsetting the cost of having our nanny stay an extra 10 hours a week. I had stopped going out for lunch as often, and I'd replaced some of our usual purchases (soap, TP, detergent, shampoo, etc) with bulk purchases online.

And my husband was like "What, 10 hours? You said you were just going out to the gym sometime". So I explained my schedule, and he wasn't happy with it. He said he didn't want to be the type of parents who push their kid off on a nanny all the time. Work is one thing, but going out for hours everyday after work was another.

I told him about how it made me much more refreshed and happy, the time I all home. So while I'm decreasing the time I'm home a little, I'm really increasing quality time with my family. Because I feel energized rather than drained. I didn't realize how much I missed working out regularly until I got back to it.

My husband thinks I'm being selfish; he doesn't like that I want so much time to recharge from family time. He thinks it should be fulfilling, not draining.

And I'm honestly happy it is for him. But I'm an introvert, I like being able to spend some time just focusing on my workout and letting go of stress. And I really don't want to give it up, now that I've been doing it for a few weeks.

AITA for wanting this much "me time"?

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:03

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I agree it's a total dick move, but so many people do it at weddings and their families cheer them on.

Citation needed.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:03

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

WIBTA if I dressed up as a fictional character who prominently displays a swastika?

quote:

I'm a giant nerd, and one of my favorite hobbies is cosplaying. I've recently been getting very into a manga called Blade of the Immortal, and the main character in that comic, Manji, wears a coat with a swastika on the back. He is the person I would like to cosplay as.

Obviously, the swastika has horrible connotations given how the Nazis used it, but the symbol has a much longer history as a symbol of prosperity and good fortune. Blade of the Immortal takes place long before WWII, and the symbol is used with the original intent. So, the character nor I have any ill will towards judaism.

So now, I am questioning doing this since I don't know if Nazis have forever ruined that symbol and people will instantly brand me an antisemite because of the outfit. I would have no problem explaining my outfit to people who asked about it, but I don't know if it is tasteless to even do in the first place. What do you all think, Reddit? WIBTA?

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:06

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for wanting our nanny to stay for an extra 2 hours on weeknights, so I can have time for the gym?

Not sure how I feel about this. 10 hours a week kinda seems like a lot but she does make some good points.

Maybe her husband is more upset because he doesn�t get the same break? I dunno.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:07

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

ulex minor posted:

is it bad advice? my advice is just, you should let your gay brother bring his boyfriend to your wedding regardless if that will piss people off

"Deliberately creating conflict at a wedding" is bad advice. People spends weeks/months agonizing over their wedding down to the finest details and spends tons of money.

MarcusSA posted:

Announcing major life events at not your wedding isn’t cool no matter what it is.

Also the race thing totally isn’t the same thing.

People will always gossip and be lovely about surprises especially at weddings. It's a bad venue for things like that and if someone wants to deliberately drop a surprise bombshell then regardless of the context its not fair to the bride and groom.

Best case scenario, the relatives mutter and complain and freeze out and ignore the brother. The rest ignore them and happily mingle with the gay couple.

Worst case, some people get too drunk (100% people get too drunk) and start screaming homophobic insults at the couple during the vows because they dared to flaunt their homosexuality in a church/wedding environment.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:09

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

WIBTA if I dressed up as a fictional character who prominently displays a swastika?

Sure it�s fine if you want everyone to think you are a nazi. Probably 0.01% of the population might recognize the character but the rest are gonna think you are a racist rear end in a top hat.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:10

Dylan16807: May 12, 2010

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

if a drama free wedding is so important to you that you�re willing to keep your brother in the closet to placate homophobes, who are by definition bad people, and who have the option to simply not comment on your brother and his partner, you are not a good person!

Even ignoring homophobes, it's likely to draw a lot of attention. It would be nice if it didn't, but that's a culture shift that's a hell of a lot more complicated than "kick out the bad people".

"Please get out of the closet a few weeks earlier" is not trying to keep him in the closet.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

“wait, doing the right thing might make my life harder? being a good ally could impact the way I’m able to move through the world smoothly, interacting easily with everyone because my identity doesn’t threaten them? I have to give some of that up? well gently caress that, it’s not fair that my life should get harder for something I didn’t even do

also don’t judge me or make me feel bad about this in anyway tia”

One of the few days where someone shouldn't have to do anything to make their life harder is their wedding.

ulex minor posted:

you're basically just saying the same thing, i.e. oh a gay couple should be treated the same BUT

You know who would say that exact same line, including the "BUT"? The brother. He's keeping his boyfriend secret until that specific day because he's using it as a platform.

The couple should be treated the same, but everyone knows it won't be, and it's not being an rear end in a top hat to acknowledge what will actually happen while deciding what to do.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:11

Dewgy: Nov 10, 2005; ~🚚special delivery~📦

MarcusSA posted:

Sure it�s fine if you want everyone to think you are a nazi. Probably 0.01% of the population might recognize the character but the rest are gonna think you are a racist rear end in a top hat.

They changed the symbol for the live action movie (or at least made it brushwork style to not be recognizable as a swastika, can't really tell myself) so this is a problem with an easy, documented solution!

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:12

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Sagebrush posted:

i'm giving 4:1 on "will end up living in seclusion, subsisting entirely off soda crackers and bottled water" and 5:2 on "just a plain old serial killer." taking all bets

I'm placing a bet that no matter which way it splits, the term 'hermetically sealed' will factor in at least once.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:12

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Girlfriend�s little brother used my collection of �64 Kennedy Half Dollars to buy drugs

quote:

My girlfriends little brother is 19 and not going to college or doing anything except smoking weed and playing video games. He lives with us (we are both late 20�s and have FT jobs).

I have been stacking 1964 Kennedy half dollars for ten years now. For those that don�t know, they have a face value of $0.50 but they are made of 90% silver and so they are actually currently worth about $6 each.

I had 200, which means that his dumbass only got $100 worth of drugs yet essentially stole $1200 from me.

I insist that my girlfriend pays me back the $1200 because that is the current value in silver like I mentioned. Whereas she is arguing that she only owes me $100 because that�s what her brother thought he was stealing. And according to her �he only got $100 of weed so that�s fair�. Okay so then what about my $1100 on top of that? What then?

She also called my silver stack �useless and paranoid and stupid�. I collect them partially for a store of value Incase of inflation or deflation, but I also just enjoy looking at them and the hobby of it.

I guess I�m looking for opinions on if she should pay the full $1200 that they�re worth for the value of silver. It also seems like she is trying to make me out to be a conspiracy theorist who is hoarding silver for the end times. Which is sorta true lol but what would that change anyways?

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:15

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

LadyPictureShow posted:

I (29m) can't stop smelling women

This is weird because he's describing something like a response to trauma, but there was no trauma. Should probably still see a therapist or a doctor though.

Edit: Jesus Christ, my dumbass brother was too stupid to understand the valued of what he stole, therefore I only owe you 1/10th of your loss is some serious chutzpah.

Patrick Spens fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Aug 19, 2019

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:16

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

DemoneeHo posted:

Girlfriend�s little brother used my collection of �64 Kennedy Half Dollars to buy drugs

Sell dumbass brother's video games to offset the cost of stealing your poo poo.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:19

bus hustler: Mar 14, 2019

Patrick Spens posted:

Edit: Jesus Christ, my dumbass brother was too stupid to understand the valued of what he stole, therefore I only owe you 1/10th of your loss is some serious chutzpah.

I realize its a little out of line to speculate with just this to go on, but the sister is pretty clearly a massive enabler to this guy. Like, massive, will set her own life instantly on fire for him (and is).

Like I'm not even sure he fed her the 10% line, it sounds like she instantly got defensive on his behalf and came up with it to coddle him. She isn't even willing to set the pretend boundary of "he'll work to pay it back, don't kick him out."

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:21

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

DemoneeHo posted:

Girlfriend�s little brother used my collection of �64 Kennedy Half Dollars to buy drugs

Guy is a dumbass silver hoarder, so good.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:22

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

chitoryu12 posted:

Guy is a dumbass silver hoarder, so good.

"A store of value in case of inflation or deflation" is the best summation of the gold/silver bug mindset, so good

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:23

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

Kuros posted:

Sell dumbass brother's video games to offset the cost of stealing your poo poo.

lol who has physical games anymore

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:23

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Dewgy posted:

They changed the symbol for the live action movie (or at least made it brushwork style to not be recognizable as a swastika, can't really tell myself) so this is a problem with an easy, documented solution!

Yeah this would be fine but I get the feeling this person really wants to be true to the source material though.

I can�t tell thats a swastika either.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:24

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

LadyPictureShow posted:

I (29m) can't stop smelling women

Dating show host: Now that we've given the couple-in-the-making a night to remember, let's check in with these lovebirds about their first impressions!

Girl: well he was very polite but wouldn't take his sunglasses off and dressed way too formally for the bar we were at. Honestly I was very confused because he said all the right things but his tone and affect just indicated a deep contempt for me as a person.

OP: I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:27

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

LadyPictureShow posted:

I (29m) can't stop smelling women

This is the guy the novel Perfume was written about.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:32

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

The Iron Rose posted:

as an Actual Gay since apparently we have to do that now

gay brother is an rear end in a top hat, don't come out at someone else's wedding. it's not about youuuuuuuuuuuu

Too many of the Cat Army are fighting in this war I'm so confused aaaaaaa

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:32

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Last time on Reddit:

AITA, I flew 1k miles to visit a girl, arrived here and saw another guy has also come to see her but I don't want her to spend any time with him

quote:

This is frustrating af so pls bare with me. I've made an alt acc since she knows my personal one.

So.. WTF.

I've been friends with this girl a year, we started flirting and chatting a lot more a few months ago so I decided to fly over here to visit her and see if we're compatible irl. We are 1k miles apart which is a few hours in a plane. I thought we both genuinely really like each other which is why I came, I wouldn't fly this distance for just anyone and she told me she wanted me to come.

I arrived 3 days ago and at the actual airport she tells me another guy has also come to see her even though she didn't want him to. He's also from another country and flew roughly the same distance to get here. I was confused, cause I don't understand why he flew here if she told him she didn't want him to, like no guy is that stupid as to get on a plane for some random girl. She said it's because he just wanted to travel and picked her country.

So I've been staying at her house and this other guy got a hotel, so the first day we drove him to his hotel and it was just so awkward. You could tell neither of us wanted to be there anymore, and you can definitely tell we had no idea the other existed. That night we went out for drinks and he came along, despite telling me she didn't want him there. I'm only here for a week and for the past two days the 3 of us have spent the days together and it's so loving awkward. I really like this girl and I want alone time with her.

So today I told her I don't want to see him again, that this trip was meant to be for just us and I'm feeling very awkward having another guy around who obviously wants to get in her pants. It's frustrating. She told me we're not exclusive, they're just friends like us, and she doesn't want to leave him alone all day. She specifically said her and I are just friends so I can't get angry.

She left me alone in her own house, and went to his hotel for a few hours and came back literally half an hour ago (I don't know what they did, they could have had sex for all I know), saying now we could go out for dinner and drinks just us. She had no problem telling me she stayed at his hotel and hang out with him there playing on her switch. So clearly she 100% believes we're not exclusive and told me to chill the gently caress out or she couldn't be with me because I'm too overbearing already. I'm not trying to be... but this is a lovely situation and in my eyes we were being flirty af and I didn't know there was another guy coming. Like why couldn't she just pick another week for him to come?

Am I seriously the rear end in a top hat in this situation?? For being a bit too full on and overbearing? I don't think I am but because of what she told me I just want an outsider's opinion and this sub has helped me before.

And now the conclusion:

[UPDATE] AITA, I flew 1k miles to visit a girl, arrived here and saw another guy has also come to see her but I don't want her to spend any time with him

quote:

Original: /r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cn59tp/aita_i_flew_1k_miles_to_visit_a_girl_arrived_here/?st=jzismolp&sh=acd7fa42

I got home a few days ago and wanted to give everyone an update. The rest of the week was pretty much the three of us again, except for one other night where we were alone. So essentially in a week we only had two nights out together (I slept in her house so we spent nights alone anyway but I mean going out alone without third wheel).

I decided to do what a lot of you were suggesting and I confronted the other guy about wtf was going on. I guess something didn't feel right and my gut was telling me I should probably talk to him because I felt she was lying. So I went out on a "walk to the shops" and ended up at the guy's hotel and room.

Straight up asked him what's going on, it was incredibly awkward but we ended up having a good conversation about her and he basically was told the same as I was. Except she lied and said I purposely told her I couldn't afford a room and she "had to offer me her place". This isn't true, she offered me her place from the get-go and I never insinuated I wouldn't get a hotel room. She told him she liked him, was incredibly flirtatious with him too and they actually took it much farther than we did. They had a lot of phone sex, he had her nudes (he didn't show me out of respect for her), and they cammed a lot. A lot more than she did with me. I felt heartbroken, still do but I'm feeling better. On this trip alone they actually had sex when she was at his room, he confirmed it with a text she sent him when she left to go out with me. He does really like her, I'm not sure if she likes him back but she did sleep with him so maybe, She never did strike me as that type of person yet here we are, I told him he could have her.

So yeah. In essence, she lied a lot. She told me she really liked me, told him she doesn't like me at all. Was incredibly flirty with both of us and leading us both on. She told him she didn't want me at her house yet totally invited me to stay there. She told me she didn't like him, he's just a friend visiting, but then turns out she's had a sexual relationship with him for months and they even slept together while I was also there. It's poo poo.

poo poo update and it's 100% what you lot expected and were telling me was gonna happen. Turns out I am really loving stupid however I'm working on it and you can bet I won't make the same mistake again.

Thank you to everyone who commented and helped me decide what to do

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:34

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

MarcusSA posted:

Yeah this would be fine but I get the feeling this person really wants to be true to the source material though.

I can�t tell thats a swastika either.

the original is relatively non-Nazi-ish for a swastika (two colours on a flipped two colour ground like the altered one, no circle etc) and people with the vague awareness "swastika used to mean something else" will definitely get that it's not a Nazi one, but sorry dude, that symbol is DONE for the international audience for anything other than Nazis. It kinda sucks but when even the film makers have come to terms with it you need to go with the flow

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:36

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Drop the gay wedding derail. Thanks

# ? Aug 19, 2019 21:53

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress; Ultra Carp

The Bramble posted:

Dating show host: Now that we've given the couple-in-the-making a night to remember, let's check in with these lovebirds about their first impressions!

Girl: well he was very polite but wouldn't take his sunglasses off and dressed way too formally for the bar we were at. Honestly I was very confused because he said all the right things but his tone and affect just indicated a deep contempt for me as a person.

OP: I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 22:11

Chairman Mao: Apr 24, 2004; The Chinese Communist Party is the core of leadership of the whole Chinese people. Without this core, the cause of socialism cannot be victorious.

Will wearing the most easily recognized nazi symbol on the planet make me look like a nazi? Should I use it even though there's another option readily available? I don't know, I just don't know!

# ? Aug 19, 2019 22:12

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

The easy solution for the thieving brother is to have him replace what he stole. It's hard to argue that wouldn't be fair, but chances are girlfriend and brother would try.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 22:16

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

chitoryu12 posted:

Guy is a dumbass silver hoarder, so good.

i mean yes, but also the brother did steal $1200 of his stuff so he deserves to get it back.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 22:27

Chairman Mao: Apr 24, 2004; The Chinese Communist Party is the core of leadership of the whole Chinese people. Without this core, the cause of socialism cannot be victorious.

I didn't know I could get more for it when I stole it so I shouldn't have to pay the full amount to replace it is one hell of a position to take.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 22:34

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Leon Einstein posted:

The easy solution for the thieving brother is to have him replace what he stole. It's hard to argue that wouldn't be fair, but chances are girlfriend and brother would try.

He better be prepared to get dumped because it's going to take a civil suit or pressing charges.

Which he should do, absolutely.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 22:55

Dewgy: Nov 10, 2005; ~🚚special delivery~📦

tactlessbastard posted:

He better be prepared to get dumped because it's going to take a civil suit or pressing charges.

Which he should do, absolutely.

Since he�s admittedly just hoarding silver it�s gonna be real hard to back that one up. Unless it was documented or appraised (and he was probably doing this to hide it from the gubment, so guessing no) it�s gonna be tough to get that back for more than face value.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 22:59

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Dewgy posted:

Since he�s admittedly just hoarding silver it�s gonna be real hard to back that one up. Unless it was documented or appraised (and he was probably doing this to hide it from the gubment, so guessing no) it�s gonna be tough to get that back for more than face value.

Small claims court can be less complicated than that. Some evidence the collection existed (even if it's another person) and a bit of documentation for current fair value is probably plenty to get a $1200 judgment, especially if the brother doesnt dispute the facts. Good luck collecting on that though.

e: This ends the relationship.

AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 23:35 on Aug 19, 2019

# ? Aug 19, 2019 23:26

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Also worth pointing out that the brother and sister are both dumb as poo poo, and would probably use the excuse of "but he THOUGHT he was only stealing $100!" admitting that he did indeed steal the silver.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 23:39

NiceGuy: Dec 13, 2006; This is my BOOMSTICK; College Slice

DemoneeHo posted:

So now, I am questioning doing this since I don't know if Nazis have forever ruined that symbol

Lmfao why is this a thing that is uttered in 2019

# ? Aug 19, 2019 23:47

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Sagebrush posted:

i mean yes, but also the brother did steal $1200 of his stuff so he deserves to get it back.

He's saving him from himself.

# ? Aug 19, 2019 23:56

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# ? May 14, 2024 08:37

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

NiceGuy posted:

Lmfao why is this a thing that is uttered in 2019

I blame Spielberg. This is what happens when you make an Indiana Jones movie where he doesn't punch Nazis.

# ? Aug 20, 2019 00:06

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