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LadyPictureShow posted:I (25M) broke up with my girlfriend (25F) over looks, did I make a mistake? Well at least she’s free from this poo poo head.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 05:53 |
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# ? May 30, 2024 02:30 |
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If she has that many wrinkles at 25 then she's either a chronic tanning booth user, a long term smoker, or premature wrinkles run in her family. Those are the three main causes and only one is out of her control.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 05:56 |
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Admiral Ray posted:Oh, and her joining a support group for people that have lost actual children when she lost a clump of cells is hosed up. I assure you that when it happens, you generally aren't thinking you lost "a clump of cells" even if it still technically is. Miscarriages are traumatic physically and mentally so maybe don't be an rear end in a top hat to someone who's clearly grieving so badly that she needs therapy. Healthily mourning miscarriages is harder than it needs to be because society is shittily dismissive. People will say awful dismisive things about stillbirths too, in comparison to losing a child who lived outside of the womb. I obviously don't think it's healthy for this woman to be celebrating her dead child's due date. But she might have an easier time if society legitimized this kind of grief instead of downplaying it or pretending it doesn't happen.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 05:57 |
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WIBTA for refusing to be interviewed as part of my wife's job application? Prologue: I love my wife. And she's impressive as hell. She's led discussions between Israelis and Palestinians. She's raised $25,000 for well-digging projects in Africa. She's the best person I've ever met, and she refuses to admit that about herself. I'm utterly amazed by everything she does... but we do differ in religion. She's of the Christian faith, and I'm an agnostic/atheist. This very seldom is an issue between the two of us, and we both see the merits of each others' stances. She's going to join the ministry, and I see all of the amazing works that she does there. At the same time, she and I are both on the same page that I'm not interested in joining or associating with a church. She's completely accepting of that, and she's asked very little of me in that regard. The story: My wife is wrapping up her Master in Divinity, and she's beginning the job interview process to become a church pastor. I couldn't be more proud of her. She's got an interview at what seems like a perfect church. They're welcoming and accepting of everyone, they don't judge anyone for their lifestyle choices, they're looking more and more towards women for leadership, and so on and so forth. It's a perfect match for her. Her interview went great, and she's moving on to the next round of interviews. The church emails her telling her that the next round involves an interview with her spouse. They want to ask me questions about how I affect her faith and how I support her ministry. She and I were both very taken aback at the request. I'm definitely not the type of spouse they're expecting. So there's an email from this church sitting in my inbox awaiting my reply for this interview. She was very gracious about it, and even went as far as to offer to withdraw from candidacy, but I'm not ready for her to make that sacrifice on my account. We're two different people with two different beliefs, and I'm livid that they expect my wife to stand in scrutiny over my beliefs and how they differ from her own. The way I see it, there are 3 options: 1: Lie about my beliefs and my willingness to attend church in the interest of advancing her forward. 2: Tell them the truth about my faith and put her advancement in jeopardy. 3: Refuse the interview out of principal and see if that causes her to be removed from consideration. My wife has said that this choice is my own, and she'll love me no matter what I choose to do. She's going to do amazing things in this world, and I couldn't live with being the reason that she isn't able to do them. A brief lie on my part could bring about a fulfilling career for the woman I love. At the same time, if I lie then I may be setting her up for an even greater fall later on. At this point I can't tell if I'm lying to myself about my motivations for potentially refusing the interview. Maybe I'm just a selfish rear end who needs to get over his beliefs for the sake of this amazing woman. So WIBTA for refusing this interview altogether?
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:01 |
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bell jar posted:Mods gave me a week probation. AITA? I was really hoping the probe reason would be “NTA” or something. Missed opportunity
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:07 |
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ParserGirl posted:If she has that many wrinkles at 25 then she's either a chronic tanning booth user, a long term smoker, or premature wrinkles run in her family. Those are the three main causes and only one is out of her control. Or her BF is a loving rear end in a top hat and she actually doesn’t have wrinkles like he’s described.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:11 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for refusing to be interviewed as part of my wife's job application? This is one interview and from the sound of it the wife will be awesome wherever she lands. I'd say go and be honest about himself, don't jump to conclusions about how they'll react. Interviews are a two-way street and how they react will tell her about them too. They're trying to figure out how a potential community leader fits in the community and that's part of the fit. Doesn't mean he needs to be preaching alongside her. Or at least it shouldn't, if it does to them it's better to get that warning now. I think when my mother's congregation just interviewed for a new rabbi they considered the spouse as well, I'll email her to check.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:15 |
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Freckles are awesome though?
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:17 |
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Hi Reddit I wanted to trade up my girlfriend for a hotter piece of rear end but realized I’m a total loving emotionally abuse loser who gets no play, did I make a mistake?
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:21 |
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Telemaze posted:I assure you that when it happens, you generally aren't thinking you lost "a clump of cells" even if it still technically is. Miscarriages are traumatic physically and mentally so maybe don't be an rear end in a top hat to someone who's clearly grieving so badly that she needs therapy. They're often harder on the woman than on the man.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:21 |
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Its the telltale heart but with nasolabial folds
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 06:35 |
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AITA because I ignored my fiance's mother and told him what I thought was the truth?quote:So, a few weeks back, my fiance went out of town. His mother has my cell number. At like midnight, I get a text saying "I'm going to tell you something, but you can't tell Jake (fake name)." I replied with "OK" because, honestly, how are you supposed to reply to that? I got back "I'm in the hospital. They think I had a heart attack." And I. Freaked. "Are you ok? Shouldn't I let Jake know so that he can head home? Do you need me to come to the hospital with you?" She said yes, no, and no. I mulled over it for a while, but eventually did text Jake "Hey, I need to talk to you, can you call me?" Because the time difference would put him almost two hours ahead, and I didn't want him to be woken up by the news that his mother was in the hospital. Now. He calls me back, I explain, nearly crying. He sort of just stops. Eventually, he tells me "Thank you for telling me. I'll call Jim (fake name for his brother.)" In a really strange, choked voice. The next day, he texts me that he's heading home. When he arrives, I assume he'll go straight to the hospital. Nope. He comes to my apartment, and starts apologizing. The conversation goes; Jake; I am so, so sorry. My mother Is insane. Me: What are you talking about? Jake: sighs she was never in the hospital. Me: stares at him Jake: She was testing you. I should have told you that she had a habit of doin this, but it's been so long since we began dating, and then got engaged, that I thought she wouldn't. Me: Testing me? Jake: She wanted to know if you could be trusted to be a good daughter-in-law. He hands me his phone, and I scroll through his messages to see a bunch such as "She's a b-word, and can't be trusted" from his mother. Now, she's texting me that I'm TA for telling him. My fiance is telling her to lay off, but she won't. AITA for telling him, if you ignore the rest?
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 07:09 |
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Bruceski posted:This is one interview and from the sound of it the wife will be awesome wherever she lands. I agree that they should be honest, unfortunately there are two issues I can see: 1) Paid pastor gigs where you make an actual living are competitive and hard to come by. Someone looking for paid pastoral work in a relatively liberal church is already rolling the dice pretty hard. And not to downplay how cool she is, but one thing he didn't mention is any kind of leadership training/church-focused pre-pastoral training. A good friend of mine works in tech but is training to be a pastor and let me tell you, there is a career path for that kind of work. Don't get me wrong, making money for charity and leading discussion groups is great but I was concerned about how little he actually had to say about her qualifications. Sounds like he really loves her though, which is heartwarming to see. 2) Most churches are not going to appreciate her husband being an atheist. It's not fair, but her effectivity as a community leader will probably be harmed if the husband doesn't come to the church on Sundays at least. Just sounds like a really hard situation. I wish them the best of luck and hope they find a way through it.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 07:19 |
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Telemaze posted:I assure you that when it happens, you generally aren't thinking you lost "a clump of cells" even if it still technically is. Miscarriages are traumatic physically and mentally so maybe don't be an rear end in a top hat to someone who's clearly grieving so badly that she needs therapy. there are support groups for people who have had miscarriages and trouble conceiving and it is pretty weird and kind of insulting to put yourself in a dead child support group when the child you lost was never even viable outside the womb. yes it is a traumatic experience. No I do not believe the trauma compares to losing a child that was born and breathed air and lived some amount of time as an independent being and then died.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 07:20 |
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welcome to hell posted:AITA because I ignored my fiance's mother and told him what I thought was the truth? Soon to join the estranged parents forum!
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 07:34 |
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Sagebrush posted:there are support groups for people who have had miscarriages and trouble conceiving and it is pretty weird and kind of insulting to put yourself in a dead child support group when the child you lost was never even viable outside the womb. It's possible to become addicted to grief, wherein the brain will actually light up its reward centers when grieving: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080620195446.htm#targetText=Summary%3A,these%20memories%20addiction%2Dlike%20properties. It's extraordinarily hosed up.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 07:46 |
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welcome to hell posted:AITA because I ignored my fiance's mother and told him what I thought was the truth? See if you can get her to cry wolf.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 07:53 |
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Taima posted:It's possible to become addicted to grief, wherein the brain will actually light up its reward centers when grieving: Clearly another point in favor of human beings having been intelligently designed
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:11 |
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"We have a new member to the group. You don't have to speak until you're ready, Mr. Cumshitter, but if you care to share your feelings today you're welcome to do so." "Well, this is a bit awkward, but my son is still alive-" *Angry murmuring* "-and last year he came out to me as straight-" *Audible gasps* "-and just this morning I received an invitation to his wedding. It destroyed me. My son is dead to me. I refuse to support him by showing up to his living funeral." *The group leader begins sobbing and hugging me*
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:11 |
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welcome to hell posted:AITA because I ignored my fiance's mother and told him what I thought was the truth? All rise for the r/relationships flag:
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:15 |
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Taima posted:2) Most churches are not going to appreciate her husband being an atheist. It's not fair, but her effectivity as a community leader will probably be harmed if the husband doesn't come to the church on Sundays at least. The follow-up to this is that lying is extremely stupid. Like, unless he's willing to show and lie about being Christian every Sunday for the rest of his life, they cannot lie about it now.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:15 |
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Yeah. If you lie about something like that, you will get caught and her willingness to go along with that lie is going to be a huge strike against her here. Best course is to take the interview and be honest but not an rear end in a top hat.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:26 |
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luxury handset posted:one of those growing up experiences where you learn that while someone may not be allowed to flex on you it would be a drat poor idea to dare them to do so over something so trivial What's the landlord going to do, start parasitically accepting rent payments while doing the bare minimum in maintenance to keep from getting sued? Oh wait lol I think the notice was probably written by the coffee shop owners as a bluff to get the wifi name changed. Most landlords wouldn't be assed to do that kind of thing. OTOH, the kind who would are the same kind who would put bullshit like "tenant agrees to rename their wifi network at landlord's request" in a lease agreement
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:28 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for refusing to be interviewed as part of my wife's job application? The older I get the more religion repulses me.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:31 |
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I(F30) divorced my ex Husband (M36) because of my MIL(F60s) and suddenly he wants back in I will be rambling a little as I am very mad right now. Sorry for my bad English. It is not my first language My Ex and I were married for well over 5 years and together for 10 . His mother was a nightmare. She would spent her time belitteling me and tried humiliating me. I could take it as i loved my husband and didn't want to make him choose between her or me. Of course I would always tell him what she would be doing and he would always brush it off as her being "a loving and over protecting mom " When she would say something racist ( I am Hispanic and they are white) he would laugh it off, when she would make a comment of me being a gold digger ( even tho I earned more than my Ex) he would just say "Oh mom " . He would also get mad at me if I ever stood up for myself. But the straw that broke the camels back is when we had our daughter. My MIL would always try to parent her and say that i would do something wrong . My daughter has an irritable colon and she can not ingest any kind of loving oils or artificial things. And guess what that looney of a Woman did?? She fed my 3 year old daughter essential oils( she is not anti vaxx , just very stupid) to make her go to sleep . She was in the ICU. I had it and i confronted my husband who said " she only did what she thought was best ". I lost it . I went to my parents and drafted a divorce agreement . ( Thats the best course of action. I saw a post earlier describing a situation that is much more dangerous than mine involving allergens and an epipen. ) His face was like that Pikachu Meme when i served him . He didn't know why i was doing that because we were "happy". So now a year has passed and my life was hell. My Monster in law tried every dirty trick in the book to take my Daugther . To name a few : She accused my brother of molesting her She accused me of neglect She accused me of taking drugs and leaving them in reach of a toddler ( I take thyroxin for heavens sake !) She accused me of endangering my daughter by leaving random man in my house the list goes on During this time the excuse of my ex was that i broke his heart and i had to undertstand his mother. She only wants whats best for him. Luckily i got good representation and even got my daughter full time minus some weekends or visitation . I could prove that my daughter was endangered by his mother. So now to the advice part. I knew that my ex needed to be permanently in my life because of my daughter. And i was learning to live with that . He was very cold with me because again.. i broke his heart . Now 2 things have come together : My ex BIL got married to an African American woman, so ofcourse my ex MIL flipped I started dating again my BIL is a great guy and he actually stood up for his wife ( !!! go figure it is possible). I stay in contact with him because we are friends and hewas a mediator and fought with his brother quite often .So my BIL actually stood up for his wife and my ex husband got his panties in a twist, my BIL basically opened his eyes how lovely he was being. And that their mom treated me the same way she treated his wife. And finally my dense ex started understanding. They guy I am seeing is great . I have even met his parents and his mother is normal . She treats me like a human being and has invited me allready to many family functions and tries to make me and my daughter feel welcomed . My ex got wind from the situation trough a mutual friend and guess who is now flipping his poo poo? He started bringing flowers and chocolate ( I don't even like chocolate!!!) to pick up our Daugther. He sends me cards and sms with hearts and who knows what . Yesterday was the "best thing". My daughter was at my mothers place and i was at home with my boyfriend. He appears infront of my door crying and clutching my engagement ring begging me to come back. I said no and that he should go away. He wouldn't and started demanding that i come out to talk to him. My boyfriend told him that he would call the police ,and in his pathetic fashion he threatened to beat my boyfriend up. I closed the door and let him pound sand . Today he picked up my daughter for a day trip and when they came back my daughter was asking if i loved my boyfriend more than her . Now I am at a loss to what to do. I allready told my daughter that it was imposible because my love for her is infinite and there is nothing bigger than infinite. But now i know that my ex is trying to make my daughter hate me .I am at a loss because i won't use my daughter as amunition. But also....what the hell am i supposed to do??I will never return with that man but i can't take the father of my daughter. Do you guys have any advice?
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 08:33 |
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Taima posted:I agree that they should be honest, unfortunately there are two issues I can see: You're right, I think I read his cheerleading prologue as a more solid professional/financial history so I assumed they'd be fine wherever they landed. Still worth being honest though.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 09:00 |
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There will be parishioners who have spouses that don't attend in every congregation. If they're smart they can spin it as a way for the wife to speak to a certain part of the congregation. It might not necessarily be a black mark, it's a reality a lot of people face. I've even heard that subject discussed by priests when I've been dragged to Catholic mass on Holidays.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 09:19 |
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Power Khan posted:I(F30) divorced my ex Husband (M36) because of my MIL(F60s) and suddenly he wants back in How the MIL is not arrested for child endangerment is beyond me. Essential Oils are loving dangerous to ingest as a full grown adult, let alone three year old child. I have zero empathy for the ex husband whatsoever, and his abject misery due to his own actions give me glee. gently caress people who won’t stand up to their parents when they’re being racist towards their partners.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 09:24 |
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teen witch posted:How the MIL is not arrested for child endangerment is beyond me. Essential Oils are loving dangerous to ingest as a full grown adult, let alone three year old child.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 09:30 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I (32f) am so baffled by his (39m) strange behavior in needing a "muse" to do.....well, anything. either your bf is an incurable layabout, or he has less than zero self esteem. something in his past has caused him to only care about anything when it’s for another person. he will require enormous amounts of therapy and support. either way, probably leave
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 09:33 |
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charity rereg posted:They aren't two separate deals. He didn't give her a place to live first and then make a separate deal about student loans for childcare. No, this is not enabling, because deciding to host your traumatized teenage sister after she was the only survivor of a car accident in which her other family members died and deciding to make this contingent on her doing childcare work when she literally has no other options at that moment is loving coercive as hell, AND ALSO a terrible lapse in judgement as a parent That is not 'a deal', she only agreed bc what else could she loving do? Her coping mechanism to agree and neglect was absolutely terrible, but she's a traumatized 17yo, it should NEVER HAVE BEEN HANDED TO HER 'Hm, how can I help my grieving sister with no other options? I know, thrust her into adult responsibilities! Surely that won't amplify her grief by making her aware of the sudden and abrupt end to her youth/childhood symbolized by this one traumatic incident. This is a good, fair deal that makes sense, and all parties are clearly agreeing on equal footing as adults! Therapy, what's that? Wait, what, my carefully crafted system fell apart? It couldn't function like slotting a cig into a machine? YOU KNEW THE DEAL' <- is not a fair response. Leaving a toddler alone in the way she did was awful, but this situation should never have been created in the first place. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 10:26 on Aug 21, 2019 |
# ? Aug 21, 2019 09:51 |
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:either your bf is an incurable layabout, or he has less than zero self esteem. something in his past has caused him to only care about anything when it’s for another person. he will require enormous amounts of therapy and support. either way, probably leave His coping mechanism for being unable to focus is to have someone there to keep him on track. Not the healthiest way to do it, but I give him points for creativity in calling her his muse.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 09:51 |
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He's actually coming on to her, doing his taxes and wiring homes in the sexiest ways possible. He's gyrating his crotch over the keyboard as he works Quicken and constantly asking her if the tool is big enough for the job, but she's just not getting the point.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 10:04 |
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Power Khan posted:I(F30) divorced my ex Husband (M36) because of my MIL(F60s) and suddenly he wants back in Have your ex-husband and his mother killed. When your daughter is old enough she will understand.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 10:19 |
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My girlfriend (32/F) wrote me (31/M) a 52-page breakup letter and I'm having a tough time handling it (long read)quote:I'll try to be as non-biased and informative as possible. This has really hit me hard in more than one way. I'm lost, ashamed, confused, I feel guilty, numb, lonely and angry at times. I've never felt like this before and feel like I'm a shell of a human being that I once was. Most of the time, I feel like I'm a ghost walking around with no desire to connect with the world around me.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 10:59 |
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WIBTA If i asked my GF to wear make-up during sex?quote:Hello, There's only one YTA reply so far He really gonna do it
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 11:02 |
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Pinecone Sample posted:My girlfriend (32/F) wrote me (31/M) a 52-page breakup letter and I'm having a tough time handling it (long read) This friends reboot is not looking good.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 11:09 |
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cumshitter posted:There will be parishioners who have spouses that don't attend in every congregation. If they're smart they can spin it as a way for the wife to speak to a certain part of the congregation. Pinecone Sample posted:My girlfriend (32/F) wrote me (31/M) a 52-page breakup letter and I'm having a tough time handling it (long read) MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 11:44 on Aug 21, 2019 |
# ? Aug 21, 2019 11:27 |
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Pinecone Sample posted:WIBTA If i asked my GF to wear make-up during sex? hi reddit my gf is drop dead gorgeous and i am definitely punching above my weight but should I try to put the blame on her for my inadequeties and make her even more self concious without makeout, looking forward to your response, thanks in advance. Sincerly, soon to be single.
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 11:49 |
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# ? May 30, 2024 02:30 |
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Pinecone Sample posted:My girlfriend (32/F) wrote me (31/M) a 52-page breakup letter and I'm having a tough time handling it (long read) I kind of skimmed this until I hit the point where he called his girlfriend "disgusting and dirty" for having HPV-related cancerous cervical growths, and then I stopped reading. I really hope the 52-page breakup letter is just "YOU ARE A CRAPPY LITTLE BULLSHIT MAN" over and over with gradually increasing font size
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 11:52 |