/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

welcome: Jun 28, 2002; rail slut

Seven Hundred Bee posted:

Too much shtick posting. Not every post needs a reply in persona, particularly depressing ones about a guy nuking his personal life due to a brain tumor.

cumshitter posted:

Everyone who counts loves cumshitter

# ? Sep 1, 2019 17:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 05:36

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

A lot of people aren't diagnosed til adulthood or teens, so I'm pretty sure shrinks are used to it. Parents can't believe anything can be WRONG with THEIR BABY, or can't afford it, or just can't be arsed.

# ? Sep 1, 2019 17:56

ParserGirl: Jun 3, 2005

Bored posted:

Granted, I have no clue if they have insurance or money to see a doctor who can find a specialist to do the testing, but the chick is upset that she's making people uncomfortable and not aware of it. It might help her feel less bad to have a medical diagnosis letting her know that she's not neurotypical and see if there's some sort of treatment to help her learn how to pick up on social cues?

Being diagnosed would change her entire life. It would also come with the realization that her life could have been a lot less painful and more productive if she'd had an early intervention. Not an easy thing to process.

# ? Sep 1, 2019 18:08

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Girls and young women who have autism oftentimes slip through the cracks because they're just viewed as quirky or shy which society has deemed is "OK" for their gender.

ADHD in girls is also way underdiagnosed because they historically aren't as disruptive in the classroom.

As people with developmental or learning differences advance through life, their ability to compensate for their issues comes under greater and greater stress. It's why so many people flame out when they do not have a rigid schedule or, for lack of a better term, social expectations that are as enforced as they are during their previous level of schooling. That's why kids who did great in elementary school and are "good students" may become disinterested or rebel during middle or high school. It can be "moody teenage issues" but that's also when the work level exceeds their ability to compensate for a learning difference. Problem is a lot of schools don't want to invest in testing older children and instead force them into the "problem student" box when really, Johnny just can't read and is frustrated.

# ? Sep 1, 2019 19:02

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

do you workshop jokes for this thread in the CSPAM trump one, or is it the other way around?

this is genuine curiosity, not an attempt at a barb

Wherever I come up with it first. If I think it's funny I'll share it.

# ? Sep 1, 2019 19:48

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I got those two, but is there no other bathroom in their apartment, besides the one through his bedroom? That strikes me as really odd. Why wouldn't the apartment have a bathroom for it's residents, instead of just one of them? I personally wouldn't have any qualms about walking right on through my roommates bedroom to use it if it were the only bathroom, and I'd credit card the lock if I had to, but I guess I'd also never move in to such an apartment.

No, there's a bathroom connected to the living room (that was presumably in use by another party goer), a private one in his bedroom, and a public one outside

# ? Sep 1, 2019 19:57

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

thank u for your service

# ? Sep 1, 2019 19:58

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Pinecone Sample posted:

[F23] Found out that my [M29] boyfriend only settled for me and is not really attracted to me.

She's a solid one standard deviation above mean attractiveness, he's a statistical anomaly

OP gets practically nothing from this relationship except some mediocre dick less often than she wants, just leave girl

# ? Sep 1, 2019 20:57

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

My (28F) strict Asian family disapproves of my non-Asian fiance (37M)
Relationships
I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years and have kept it a secret until very recently. Recently he proposed and I said yes. So I decided to finally break the news to my parents. I had a feeling they would not approve but I did not expect their reaction to be that bad. I knew growing up that they were extremely racist and closed-minded but I did not expect this kind of verbal abuse.

For some background, he's American and he works here in Taiwan. My parents have shown nothing but contempt for him and our relationship. Some what they said were:

He's not Asian. Your kids will be ugly. -- My reply: Mixed kids are some of the cutest and grow up to be very attractive

He's older than you. -- My reply: I'm an adult and he's an adult. We are in a consenting relationship and that's all that matters.

He doesn't make enough money -- My reply: I don't want to marry for money. I want to marry for love.

He's not tall. -- My reply: He is taller than the average Asian.

He just doesn't understand our culture -- My reply: You don't even try to understand his. And if this is "our culture" I want out of it.

If you don't break up, we will cut you out of our will -- My reply: I don't care. I believe I have found the love of my life.

You're a race traitor. -- My reply: There's only one race, the human race.

You are evil and selfish because you are marrying a non-Asian. -- My reply: You are selfish to not want me to be happy.

When my older brother got married to a white woman, they said nothing. They even bought him and his wife a car and a house in America. When it's my turn they've done nothing but insult me and threaten to cut me out of their life. My younger brother threatened to have the guy beaten up or even murdered.

My father went through the trouble of even tearing me out of all our family photos at home.

What should I do? If you have gone through a similar situation, could you please give some advice on how to handle it? I just want to stop stressing and feeling trapped.

tl;dr - My racist Asian family is enraged that I, the only daughter, don't want to marry an Asian man. They have put me through physical, verbal, and mental abuse and I need advice.

# ? Sep 1, 2019 21:17

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

cumshitter posted:

Wherever I come up with it first. If I think it's funny I'll share it.

It's usually funny for the record buddy

# ? Sep 1, 2019 21:40

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Y'know, it's not like I'm incapable of being serious. I just come to SA to joke around. I'm actually a published author, and I laid down my complex thoughts on being gay and Catholic under my pen name, CS Lewis. I didn't think the whole part about all those kids going into a fantasy world in their closet would be too subtle but I guess it goes to show that you can never overestimate the intelligence of the reader.

Like just imagine my surprise when my editor told me Turkish Delight was an actual food and not, like, code for anal.

cumshitter fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Sep 1, 2019

# ? Sep 1, 2019 22:00

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I never knew what the CS stood for until now. Cunshitter Lewis, I'll be damned.

# ? Sep 1, 2019 22:08

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

My (20's M) partner (20's F) of 3 years collects payments from members in a FB group for being an admin. She thinks this is enough income instead of having a job.

quote:

My girlfriend left a job she was unhappy at a few months ago. She did this under the pretense that she wanted to go into a different field. Now, it's been months and she hasn't looked for anything. She had been evading my questions about where she's been applying by giving vague answers. Today she finally admitted she actually hadn't put in an application anywhere, but it was okay because she was getting money from facebook.

She went on to explain that she helps moderate a peer-to-peer charity group. You might think that doesn't involve too much time, surely she can look for real work too. But the more she told me, the more insane it turned out to be.

For one, there's a mandatory rule in the group that anyone submitting a request for financial help must give a 10% tip of whatever they get to the group's admin team. So for example if they need 20 bucks for groceries, 10% of 20 has to be donated for the admins to take a cut of. Therefore people will ask for more money than the thing actually costs because of this injunction. These "tips" are collected and split among all the admins through a paypal account. They profit off group members' donations to people in need.

Then there is the drama. The main couple people who run this group also run a whole network of other groups and pages on FB. This includes an "exclusive" group that people have to pay to be accepted into. There's constant drama about who's said what in which group and who's banned from which group.

There's a policy where members of any of these groups can pay the admins to ban another member, for any reason or no reason. The price increases to additional levels for other features such as getting someone banned from additional groups too or even buying your way back into the group if someone else pays to ban you. Obviously this is the source of a lot of the drama. Also people are banned if they question the tipping or payment policies, or don't like how the admins run the group in general. She also said she enforces "guidelines" the admins have about how people are allowed to react to posts and comments, such as banning people who choose the "haha" reaction button on a post.

So yeah... I was really baffled hearing all this. She claims to have pulled in several hundred dollars so far this month from this gig. She's planning to get promoted to admin status in some of the other groups these people run so that she can get in on the money from members of those groups too. This is basically her entire plan instead of getting a job. She flat out said she doesn't need a job now because she found this. It is not enough, by the way. Her rent alone is 600 a month.

Frankly I don't know what to say to her. This sounds extremely immature to me. I'd be lying if I said I haven't lost some respect for her... I mean, she'd rather sit around twiddling her thumbs all day coasting by on free money that these people demand from others? She used to have goals and things she wanted to do with her life. But when I said she's basically getting paid to do nothing, she got mad and said that running the group takes a lot of effort, and is a thankless job where people only see a fraction of the "poo poo she puts up with" (which is just the pointless drama I described above).

Part and parcel of this is how she's been spending most of her time on the internet. I'd thought it was job hunting, but no it's this facebook group thing.

I just feel deceived in a way. Not only how she acted like she was looking for jobs but also the sort of person she is... I wouldn't have thought she'd decide it's okay to make money by taking advantage of people who are easily socially pressured. And for what? To avoid working? I don't get it. I cannot imagine explaining this to anyone we know if they asked what my girlfriend does for work.

I'm so confused because I don't know what happened to her. The problem is when I try to express this, she constantly has a justification for why what she's doing is okay and will work out fine, or else says I'm being ridiculous. She thinks I should support her. She says the people who founded these groups have a strong business model and are like mentors to her. She completely trusts them. The whole thing is very sketchy and honestly plain stupid to me.

How can I get her to understand my concerns? About her finances and her judgment. Has anyone had to deal with something like this in their relationship?

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:04

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pinecone Sample posted:

My (20's M) partner (20's F) of 3 years collects payments from members in a FB group for being an admin. She thinks this is enough income instead of having a job.

So your girlfriend is the middleman in begging.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:07

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

Pinecone Sample posted:

My (20's M) partner (20's F) of 3 years collects payments from members in a FB group for being an admin. She thinks this is enough income instead of having a job.

Not sure is there is a name of this specific thing, but it's got the feel of a pyramid scheme mixed with the ethics of rent seeking without being either. Just gross as gently caress.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:15

welcome to hell: Jun 9, 2006

I told my husband (30) to have sex with other women. He did, but is not letting me (25) have sex with other men. by compersion44

quote:

My husband (30) and I (25) have been together for 6 years total, and have been married for 5.

About two years into our marriage, he told me that he has fantasies of having threesomes. I was never against the idea of having a threesome with him. It never bothered me that he wanted to have sex with another woman even though we're married. So I agreed to having one in exchange for me also getting something out of it. I said that if I was going to let him have sex with another woman, then I should get something more out of it too. I chose to get an expensive handbag in exchange for a threesome. Don't judge.

So we have the first threesome and it was a lot of fun. I learned that I like watching him have sex and like seeing him have pleasure from someone else other than me. I don't really know how to describe it except it's like watching real life porn. And I like it. A lot.

Over the next two years we start having more threesomes. We have had about maybe 10, so not many but a few each year. They were fun, except I started getting upset with us having them because that's all he would talk about. It was starting to be the only way to turn him on in bed (when we were alone) if I were to talk dirty about us having a threesome. I told him this and he stopped talking about it so much, and then gave me full control to set up our threesomes (we used to both be on tinder looking for people, but it then switched to just me being on the app).

During this two year period, I also bring up the idea of him having sex with another woman by himself, without me. We talk about this briefly and I tell him that I am 100% ok with this if it's something he would want to do too. I understand that men have higher sexual drives than women do. I thought my husband would enjoy it being able to have sex with another woman, and I thought it would be hot to think of him doing it by himself. I ask if I could do the same with a man, and he says he isn't really that comfortable with me being by myself just yet. I say ok maybe in a few months if you want to think about it. But I still let him have sex by himself without me, twice. He said the first time he didn't have fun and that he has more fun with me. But when I was out of town for a week for work, I said he can have someone over who we had a threesome with before, and he said ok and had sex with her.

So, a week ago I ask my husband if he would like to have sex alone again. And he says yes that would be fun. I then ask again if I can hang out with someone by myself too. And he gets really mad at me saying he told me how he's not ok with that, and that we talked about it before how he doesn't want me to have sex alone. But we never really talked about it, he just briefly said he wasn't very comfortable with me doing it alone yet. He also just now said that if we were to have a lot more threesomes, then maybe in a few years he would be ok with me hanging out with someone alone.

I feel that through this whole experience I let my husband have so much freedom with us having threesomes, and with him having sex alone with 2 other women. I feel as if it's not "fair" that he won't let me have sex alone, even though I was ok with everything that he did. I know I was the one who suggested him to have sex alone, so I can't get mad at that. But I was hoping that by letting him have sex alone first, that eventually he would let me have sex alone too. I told him that I don't want to have any more threesomes unless I can have sex alone like he did. I want the rules that apply to him to apply to me too.

I don't regret having threesomes or letting him have sex with the other women. I actually still want to have threesomes with him, but he doesn't know that. But now I find myself withdrawing from my husband and not really wanting to have as much sex with him at the moment. Instead, I keep thinking about this guy that I met through work and how badly I want to hook up with him. Like really, really bad. I keep fantasizing about hanging out with him, going to a party and then going back to his place. I can't stop thinking about how hot this guy is and how bad I want it from him. If I was able to have sex alone once, it would definitely be with this guy.

I'm upset that I was so cool with everything my husband did, and I'm disappointed that my husband has my leash so tight, but I let his be loose in our marriage. Any thoughts or advice? Yes I know I need to respect my husband and be ok with him not letting me have sex alone. But still, I feel like he has gotten way more out of this than me. I want the same fun sexual experiences that he has had.

TL;DR - Husband and I have had multiple threesomes in our 5 years of marriage. I let him have sex alone with two women. He is not letting me have sex with another man, but I think it would be fair to let me do the same. I want the same fun sexual experiences that he has had. He never expressed that he's not ok with me being by myself with another man, he only said briefly that he's not comfortable with the idea of it just yet. So when I asked him if I could last week, he got really upset at me and said that he's not ok with it and doesn't want me to. We are no longer having threesomes unless he let's me experience sex with another man, like he was able to with other women.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:18

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

So apparently that facebook group is a well known thing? It's called Give Me Your Money and is full of garbage people all the way down. Posting walls of text from the comment section if anyone is interested:

quote:

This is Give Me Your Money, and it's toxic as hell. They gate keep, worship the mods and dogpile anyone who has opposing views. Edit: You also have to pay to get people banned and $10 to join the special group. If anyone wants to ban anyone from the special group it's $100.

quote:

Hi OP, to start off I�m sorry you�re dealing with this but as others have said your girlfriend helps run a cult and is getting paid to do so. I was a member there from 2017-2019 until I eventually left due to the toxic culture there. They go out of their way to hurt and deny people in need based off their political opinions, hairstyles, fashion sense and other bizarre reasons. They take their desperate pleas for help and turn them into memes, and continue to make fun of them after they�ve been cast aside.

The admins were known to be against this behavior before they realized they could monetize off of it. Now the creator makes upwards of 100k a year. Me and many of my friends knew him personally and he has spent years desperately searching for a following. His wife makes thousands of dollars off worthless enamel pins which are made intentionally scarce so their value sky rockets immediately after release which is every few weeks. Some now sell for over a grand each. They mass report and shut down similar groups who help the poor for free and even threaten legal action if someone tries to use their �give me your money� trademark. There is so many levels to this, so much wrong in their little community and I�d be typing for hours if I tried to mention it all. Please find her help, get her out if you can, encourage therapy maybe and if she refuses, leave. You can DM me if you have any questions.

quote:

This group, as others have said, is toxic as gently caress. One of the owners (LC) recently doxxed a bunch of people to deflect attention after she got blasted for being blatantly transphobic.

In January, some of the mods got caught in a secret group making fun of members and saying derogatory things about autism. The members were pissed, until the script flipped and suddenly if you said anything negative about the behavior, you were �racist� against two of the admins.

I�ve watched that group treat people like literal garbage. They comb people�s facebook pages just looking for a post they don�t like. Oh, your kid is starving and you need $20 for some food? Sorry bro, you posted something ableist in 2011 when you were 14 years old, so we are all going to insult you and call you names before we ban you. Sorry about your kid.

While you�re in the group, everyone is your friend, especially when you give them money. If you leave or get banned, they all unfriend you. It�s a cult with cult behavior. (Hey, y�all gmym cultists reading this! Y�all are fake as gently caress! Good to know your friendship can be paid for.)

Watch the comments. This will get out in gmym, and all the sycophants will come flood the feed, talking poo poo about �salty banned members� and hyping up gmym. The group is trash; the owners are trash. Someone remind J about the time he was pissed off that some Native Americans had a parade outside his house because it inconvenienced him. And ask him if he felt like a real man using a woman�s murder to promote one of his groups. Those people are a shitstain on society.

quote:

Hey this is making it's rounds again. As has been mentioned here, this group is "Give me your money" or some other "charity" group with the same rules. The rule is, you ask for help, and whoever helps you also HAS TO "tip the mod" and send money to the admin/moderators of the group, simply because they are the admin/moderators of the group.

There was a post a few days back about a pregnant woman desperate for a child stroller, and someone DONATED, not sold it to her. She couldn't afford to buy one, so she was looking for a really cheap one in that group because it was a "charity" group. The person selling a stroller said, "oh you can't afford it, don't worry. You can have it for free." And they went about going to donate the stroller to the woman in need. No choosing beggers, the woman was extremely grateful and it was a really nice feel good human being bros moment.

And then the moderators came in. They demanded tip money even though it wasn't sold, it was a donation, and when the pregnant woman said she didn't have money for a tip, the whole reason she went looking for charity is because she's broke in the first place, they bad mouthed her and then banned her and the person donating the stroller.

Admins of groups like that are the most petty, toxic, selfish cunts online. If your girlfriend is seriously looking to make her entire income from demanding "tips" from those in need, she's an absolute piece of poo poo and you need to leave her. That's so many red flags, OP. I just hope you're aware of how awful those groups are, and especially the people that run them. Good luck.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:23

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My (36F) sister (38F) took my 6 yr old son to a psychologist without my knowledge because she feared he was "losing touch with reality" since he was acting as a character in a fantasy movie he had seen. I'm livid and considering cutting her off.

quote:

My son and I watched a fantasy movie together a couple weeks ago. One of the characters had various psychic powers, like the ability to move and influence objects with his mind. My son asked if people can really do that and I explained that some people believe they can, but so far no one has been proven to actually have the ability. He seemed satisfied with that answer.

He really enjoyed the movie, and over the next few days he would "try" to move things with his mind. Stuff I think is pretty normal and typical for a kid his age. Like he was eating cereal and was all "Hey mom watch, I'm gonna try to pick the spoon up with my mind!" Of course it didn't work and life went on.

I don't think he really believes people have telekinetic abilities. But he's young and thinking maybe somewhere SOMEONE does and wouldn't it be cool? He really liked the main character in the movie too, so he's pretended to be him sometimes when he's playing.

Unless I was a totally messed up kid, I think this is all normal. I did similar things when I was around that age. I'd try to emulate my favorite characters..... until I found a new favorite character. I even remember sometimes even in middle school, if I was bored with class, I'd imagine myself as a character in a show or movie and I wasn't REALLY in class, I was in some situation related to that character.

Of course I knew the characters weren't real. Of course I knew I wasn't them or in whatever situation. It was just a fun daydream to kill boredom. Sometimes I miss being able to do that now, as an adult. I think a vivid imagination and being able to imagine yourself as someone else, somewhere else, is one of the joys of childhood.

I see kids playing similarly in my neighborhood like this all the time. "You be this character from whatever kid's movie is popular now, and I'll be this character and I'll try to catch you!" or "This tree will be the castle and we have to take it over!" Normal, fun, healthy kid stuff.

Well, my son usually stays with my sister the week before school starts. She isn't able to have children of her own and has always loved my son. He likes what auntie "lets him get away with" (I totally know she lets him do HORRIBLE things like eat desert first and stay up late /s lol) and it's their time to bond and his time to cut loose a little.

Well, the visit this year just so happened to fall while he was obsessed with this movie character. And he played with my sister like he plays with me and his friends, and even alone. Like ""Josh", time for dinner!" And he'll say "I'm not Josh! I'm LUKE SKYWALKER!" "Ok, Luke..... your food is still getting cold." He KNOWS he's not Luke Skywalker. He just doesn't want Mom and real life expectations like dinner interrupting his fantasy play time.

Harmless. Stuff.

So my sister dropped Josh off and wanted to talk to me in private. She mentioned she was concerned about how Josh believed he has psychic ability and "was losing touch with reality" and had taken him to a psychologist. I was just standing there with my jaw on the floor. She had not only misrepresented herself as his mother, she never called ME with the concern or asked me if I thought this was normal. She just stamped him "crazy" and took him in.

Apparently Josh told the doctor he doesn't think he can really move things with his mind, but "maybe some people can". And I guess the doctor was "very concerned" about that.

Well, I mean..... maybe some people CAN. It's really, really, REALLY unlikely, but technically Josh isn't wrong. Maybe some people can do a lot of things we don't know about. But he realizes HE can't and he's not the character, he's just pretending.

Now Josh seems to have lost interest in fantasy play and doesn't want to watch movies anymore and play pretend games with his friends. He's communicated to me that he's ashamed and thinks he did something wrong.

HE'S SIX! This is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. He's not delusional, he's playing! He's my son and I know him best and he has his feet firmly planted in reality. Now I'm worried I will have to take him to a psychologist to undo this damage.

I haven't spoken to my sister since because what's there to say? She thinks my six year old son is delusional and took him for medical treatment without my knowledge or consent.

Idk how to proceed or if I should just cut her out.

tl;dr My son got fixated on a movie character for a couple weeks and pretended to have psychic powers. He went to stay with my sister for a week like he usually does, and she posed as his mother and took him to a psychologist because of his "delusions". Now my son is ashamed and embarrassed and doesn't want to play anymore, his imagination is just shut down. Should I ever talk to her again?

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:29

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Im actually more lost now than before on give me your money because what the gently caress are the admins providing if they're not even matching donors with the needy?

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:32

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

cumshitter posted:

Y'know, it's not like I'm incapable of being serious. I just come to SA to joke around. I'm actually a published author, and I laid down my complex thoughts on being gay and Catholic under my pen name, CS Lewis. I didn't think the whole part about all those kids going into a fantasy world in their closet would be too subtle but I guess it goes to show that you can never overestimate the intelligence of the reader.

Like just imagine my surprise when my editor told me Turkish Delight was an actual food and not, like, code for anal.

So that part where Aslan sacrificed himself for everyone was like, code for gettin' plowed in the back of an adult theater

It makes so much more sense now

# ? Sep 2, 2019 00:32

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My [22/f] dad [66/M] creeps me out and I'm not sure why...

I've posted a question like this before but deleted it right after because I got paranoid that my family would somehow find it lol.

I'm trying to stay objective about this, I want to stress before I start that I am NOT jumping to any conclusions and in fact, feel like a pretty crappy person for feeling like this to begin with. But basically my dad gives me the creeps. Majorly. When I'm around my dad, I feel so deeply repulsed. I feel it in my body, disgust, irritability I just want to get away from him. Hugging him makes me literally nauseous, I even feel uncomfortable sitting on the same couch as him. I want to clarify too that this isn't just awkwardness it's a really powerful feeling of skin-crawly, cringey unease that i notice to be very physical. NOTE: I try not to let this show outwardly because as I mentioned, I feel terrible about being this way but have felt this way around him for pretty much as long as i can remember.

Some background; even though I know my dad loves me, and I love him too in a filial way but our relationship can be kind of strained. He was really badly abused as a kid and it's left him with temper problems, extreme sensitivity and a kind of social ineptitude that i have to remind myself to be patient with. He taught me how to ride a bike and would make pancakes on saturday mornings but also punched a hole in the wall next to my face during an argument and told me I looked like a boy, would be alone for the rest of my life etc. etc. HE is (or was?) also a sex addict. I found out when I was ten and found a huge collection of sex addict self help books stashed in his closet while I was looking for my new cat, never mentioned it to my family so I never got more context as to how long he dealt with this. He's made a few slant comments about my body (your legs look good when you're running) but has never physically done anything inappropriate to me besides accidentally gazing by body walking by, unintentional stuff like that.

basically I really want to know if anyone feels this way around their dads/parent. I'm not trying to fill in any blanks but feel awful about basically have no relationship with my dad because i despise being around him. It's such a strong feeling I'm starting to realize that it needs to be addressed somehow. Advice, similar experiences all would be great, thanks <3

TL;DR

dad creeps me out, I feel really bad about it

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:04

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

How do I convince my friends to give my boyfriend a chance?

My partner(20,m) finished his schooling at the same high school as me(19,f) but I didn�t know him as he was in the year above. We met after he finished school, and I love him, but some of my friends refuse to even meet him. It�s been a year since we got together.

Because he joined my school in his last year, no one really knew him yet. As he was making friends, he made a stupid joke about someone �dying on the toilet� and it just so happened that that�s the way a girls father had died recently. He had no idea, but the rumours spread like wildfire that he had laughed at his new friends fathers death. Everyone decided they hated him based on this.

My best mates(all between ages of 18 and 19) are friends with people from his year level, and whenever they have parties, I�m not allowed to bring him. I understand that they don�t have the best opinion of him, but it was an accident. He feels bad about it, and it upsets him that he can�t come with me to events. These guys that spread the rumours aren�t my friends, as they made his life hell in school, and they�re still spreading this stuff to more of my friends, ruining his reputation further and destroying any connections he could have potentially made with my friends.

I just wish people could see him how I see him. As a sweet, caring, and lovely person. But they all think he�s an rear end in a top hat. How should I go about convincing them to give him a chance?

TL;DR: Most of my friends hate my partner because of a stupid joke and a large rumour. They�ve never really met him.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:04

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Smirking_Serpent posted:

How do I convince my friends to give my boyfriend a chance?

My partner(20,m) finished his schooling at the same high school as me(19,f) but I didn’t know him as he was in the year above. We met after he finished school, and I love him, but some of my friends refuse to even meet him. It’s been a year since we got together.

Because he joined my school in his last year, no one really knew him yet. As he was making friends, he made a stupid joke about someone “dying on the toilet” and it just so happened that that’s the way a girls father had died recently. He had no idea, but the rumours spread like wildfire that he had laughed at his new friends fathers death. Everyone decided they hated him based on this.

My best mates(all between ages of 18 and 19) are friends with people from his year level, and whenever they have parties, I’m not allowed to bring him. I understand that they don’t have the best opinion of him, but it was an accident. He feels bad about it, and it upsets him that he can’t come with me to events. These guys that spread the rumours aren’t my friends, as they made his life hell in school, and they’re still spreading this stuff to more of my friends, ruining his reputation further and destroying any connections he could have potentially made with my friends.

I just wish people could see him how I see him. As a sweet, caring, and lovely person. But they all think he’s an rear end in a top hat. How should I go about convincing them to give him a chance?

TL;DR: Most of my friends hate my partner because of a stupid joke and a large rumour. They’ve never really met him.

Poor Lisa Marie Presley

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:05

nankeen: Mar 20, 2019; by Cyrano4747

my grandfather actually died on the toilet, like elvis, and it is a point of hilarity and pride in our family

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:23

welcome to hell: Jun 9, 2006

Advice on legally kicking my wife out of my family home. How do I?

quote:

submitted 6 years ago by legalthrowaway56

I was wondering what I needed to do to make my wife leave my family home. Background: My wife and I have been married a little over a year. We have lived with my parents ever since we married because her salary can't support both of us. I have not worked because I go to school ( undergraduate to get my bachelor's in english). We have begun having a ton of problems and I just don't want to be with her anymore.

She recently caught me texting and hanging out with a chick at school that I like, and is being a bitch about it even though we aren't sleeping together (the other girl and I).

We have a child together who she takes the majority of care of, but I do help out when not in class. She has a stable work history and a degree, but not a ton in savings, so I know she doesn't have money to higher a lawyer.

How do I tell her to get out without her taking the kid? Can I legally kick her out? What if she leaves with the baby, what are my options? I want full custody because I don't want to pay her a dime of child support. She makes enough to support herself so she will be fine. I figured the baby could be cared for by my mom and I could use their income as my own when I go to file for custody because I can't work and go to school.

Do I need to file first?

Can I do anything about how she pressures ( constantly) asks me to have sex with her? Is that harassment? What about the risque' pictures she sends me? I haven't asked her to stop but I hardly ever respond and when I do I am very vague.

When do I need to lawyer up? Do I stand a good chance at getting custody? Everyone says she is a good mom and I know she has a job and everything, but I don't understand why I have to suffer because she married me and can't accept me for who I am.

If I cheat on her with this chick will it look bad in the divorce?

Any advice would be appreciated. We are in Arkansas and she has lived in my parent's house for a year. We also have a joint checking. Can I withdraw this money without telling her so she can't use it to get a lawyer? She has her monthly salary direct deposited in it so I would like to do this by next week when her latest check goes in.

I haven't told her about any of this.

Edit: She is making me miserable with her nagging and her controlling nature, and constantly wanting me to tell her what I am doing and who I am with. I probably won't have a job for a few years. I am waiting until I graduate. I am 26.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:34

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

How do I convince my friends to give my boyfriend a chance?

You know I imagine the joke he probably made was when someone took forever in the bathroom and he was all like �oh wow we thought you might have died in there!� Which is extremely harmless and how the hell is anyone supposed to know some randos parent died on the drat toilet.

Seems like a pretty ridiculous thing to get all up in arms about.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:41

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

How can I [24F] be less bothered by my friend [23F] insisting we're "twins"?

Hello Reddit! Before I begin, I want to be totally clear that I realize this is a "me" problem. I'm really embarrassed by the way I'm reacting to this, and want to learn from and correct my thoughts. I am the bad guy here, and I'm the one in the wrong. I came here because I worry that Rachel would be hurt if she knew I felt this way, which is the last thing I want, so I was hoping for anonymous internet advice rather than going to my friends. Please be gentle, as I am coming here from a place of vulnerability looking for advice.

Over the last year, Rachel [23F] joined my friend group [24-27M/F] and quickly became attached to the women in the group, especially me. She is really thoughtful and kind, smart and fun to be around, and I really like her. However, lately she's gotten a knack for insisting that everyone thinks we're "sisters" or "twins" very frequently, and it started to really bother me. It culminated over the past three days, when I counted over 20 instances of her telling a story where something about us was "identical," a random person thought we were "twins", or how "sisterly" we were.

This started happening regularly since she recently dyed her hair to match my fairly-distinctive color several months ago. The first time, a bouncer took both our IDs at once, and handed mine back to her and hers back to me. She was really excited about this, and told anyone who would listen the rest of the night how the bouncer mixed us up. Another time, we went out shopping, and were having fun trying things on and goofing around. A sales associate asked if we were sisters. Rachel happily said "yes!"

Ever since then, it seemed like Rachel took every possible opportunity to illustrate how similar she thinks we are. Aside from our now-matching hair, I personally don't think we look very alike, nor do any of our friends, but she insisted the delivery guy who came to her house thought she was me because "[OP] always orders anchovies, and I did too that time, so he probably thought I was [OP] and that I just moved!" Another time, she shared that she began wearing a specific shade of green and "everyone will probably think I'm [OP] now because she always wears this color." When it was our turn to face off in flip cup, she announced to the party that it was the "battle of the sisters!"

Over this weekend, it happened with enough frequency (quite literally 20+ times) that others started to comment to me how much Rachel says that. With each "we're siiiisters" comment, I grew a little more annoyed, and I spent a long time today thinking about why I reacted that way.

The embarrassing conclusion that I came to is that part of me resents the comparison because of my ego. I think that we don't look alike because I have a higher view of my appearance than I do of Rachel's. I'm frustrated by the constant "we're twins!" bit, because I'm offended. I'm ashamed of feeling like this, and I want to fix it.

I do think the frequency that Rachel does this hints at her own problems, but I want to be clear that I know the problem here is me. I realize that this egocentric response really stems from a sense of insecurity. If I were more secure in my appearance, I woudn't be offended by someone constantly and excitedly comparing the two of us. How can I move from my where I am now to where I want to be, and not be bothered by this?

Thank you for the advice.

TL;DR: My friend says with uncomfortable frequency that everyone thinks we're "twins" or "sisters." I realized the comparisons bother me because I'm an egocentric poo poo. How can I be less that way?

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:42

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Smirking_Serpent posted:

How can I [24F] be less bothered by my friend [23F] insisting we're "twins"?

Get a temporary tattoo, don't mention that it's temporary, and let nature take its course.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 01:55

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

How can I [24F] be less bothered by my friend [23F] insisting we're "twins"?

Watch Single White Female. Prepare yourself.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 02:00

nankeen: Mar 20, 2019; by Cyrano4747

...to be fair, my grandfather died on the toilet after a lifetime of excess and debauchery, like elvis, whereas the girl's dead dad from the story probably died on the toilet after a lifetime of temperance and respectability, like a schmuck

# ? Sep 2, 2019 02:01

Dr. Video Games 0135: May 20, 2003; That's gonna be a zoinks from me, Scoob

welcome to hell posted:

I told my husband (30) to have sex with other women. He did, but is not letting me (25) have sex with other men. by compersion44

Seems like if threesomes don't immediately blow a relationship up, one party starts pushing things farther until it eventually blows up down the road

# ? Sep 2, 2019 02:11

Dr. Video Games 0135: May 20, 2003; That's gonna be a zoinks from me, Scoob

welcome to hell posted:

Advice on legally kicking my wife out of my family home. How do I?

Hoo boy is this guy in for a bad time when his wife gets a lawyer

# ? Sep 2, 2019 02:12

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Dr. Video Games 0135 posted:

Hoo boy is this guy in for a bad time when his wife gets a lawyer

Dude displays such a lack of cognition I think he might end up a ward of the state

# ? Sep 2, 2019 02:15

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

welcome to hell posted:

Advice on legally kicking my wife out of my family home. How do I?

this one was featured in an F Plus ep years ago and it's still baffling

https://thefpl.us/episode/194

# ? Sep 2, 2019 03:10

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

That's bait guys cmon please, I know we like to take everything at face value but surely there are limits

# ? Sep 2, 2019 03:11

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Please, please read the title first and let your preconceived bias cloud your mind first. And then read the post. You will be surprised.

AITA for not cleaning my rear end in a top hat correctly apparently?

quote:

I can't believe this is even happening but me and my boyfriend are in a huge argument right now to the point I'm staying at my friends house.

We were discussing doing anal and my reluctance to do it. He really wants to try it and I've always been on the fence. I kinda want to try it but I'm just not sure, so we were having a normal discussion about it. I said these words, "I'd have to do so much work into cleaning my rear end in a top hat correctly and I don't even know how to do it."

And he responds, "babe, all you do is just get some warm water and put your finger up there and dig around."

I laughed thinking he was joking. He says "I'm being serious that's how you do it. I do it every time I take a shower."

I exclaimed "what?! You stick your finger in your rear end in a top hat everytime you take a shower?"

"I like a clean rear end in a top hat. Literally everybody does this. Do you not do this?"

We started arguing because I said hes wrong, there's no way that everyone cleans their rear end in a top hat like this all the time and I can't believe he shoves his finger in his rear end to clean it. He's mad because he feels like I'm judging him for something every NORMAL person does.

AITA? There is no way every person cleans it this way

# ? Sep 2, 2019 03:33

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

Please, please read the title first and let your preconceived bias cloud your mind first. And then read the post. You will be surprised.

AITA for not cleaning my rear end in a top hat correctly apparently?

This is why I have a bidet. Clean rear end in a top hat all day everyday.

Also lol at the argument.

Also! Dudes assholes are different from women�s the hair really jacks things up.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 03:40

bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

DemoneeHo posted:

Please, please read the title first and let your preconceived bias cloud your mind first. And then read the post. You will be surprised.

AITA for not cleaning my rear end in a top hat correctly apparently?

it's nice to see ge cafe got a girlfriend

# ? Sep 2, 2019 03:49

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Should I marry for money?

quote:

I (24,F) have been dating a very wealthy man (47) (he is divorced with 3 middle-high school aged kids) for about a year and a half now. I really enjoy his company but I am not in love with him. He has brought up the idea of marriage and although I am hesitant about marrying so young, this is the type of situation where I would be set financially for the rest of my life.

More context... I have absolutely no desire for kids so thats not an issue, and my family approves of our relationship for the most part.

I am seriously considering taking this opportunity, especially since Ive seen so many older women in my life regret not taking money more seriously when they got married. My question is, how important is money vs love in marriage? If you could go back in life would you choose to 'marry well' if you could?

tldr; I am 24 and have the opportunity to marry very well but I am not in head over heels love with the man, should I do it?

# ? Sep 2, 2019 03:56

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# ? May 30, 2024 05:36

SerialKilldeer: Apr 25, 2014

AITA for not eating a random egg that my father found?

quote:

This is kind of petty, but it�s a hot topic in my family at the moment. Thought I�d get the internet to weigh in.

My father is a groundskeeper at a school with a pool. The other day while cleaning, he found an egg near the pool. We�re pretty sure it�s a duck egg because the pool attracts ducks, but we can�t be completely sure. He brought the egg home.

My mother went �hey! An egg!� And baked it into a brownie slice. My mother makes good brownie slices, so everyone else seems cool with eating it. However, I do not feel cool with eating it because I don�t know where that egg came from. My mother has taken it as an insult to her cooking decisions.

The brownie was baked for like 45min so I�m pretty sure the egg will be more or less sterilised in there, but I can�t get over the idea of eating the random egg. What if it had been out there for a while? What if it was fertilised?

AITA for wanting to eat the random egg brownie? Do I need to just accept the random egg and eat it? Am I justified?

The brownie is currently cooling overnight for dinner tomorrow, so there�s about 18 hours to influence my decisions.

# ? Sep 2, 2019 03:58

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