/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Runcible Cat posted:

Have we found the Ultimate Mansplainer?

No I think 1st place still goes to the twitter guy who spent a month arguing with women about vulvas

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 18:00

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

christmas boots posted:

No I think 1st place still goes to the twitter guy who spent a month arguing with women about vulvas

There was a guy, I think in this thread, who was arguing about penis size with actual, vagina-havin' women, telling them they just didn't know what size they preferred. It was pretty good

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:56

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

christmas boots posted:

No I think 1st place still goes to the twitter guy who spent a month arguing with women about vulvas

Was that the guy who insisted that �vulva� wasn�t a real word and was a misspelling of vagina, or is that a different vagsplainer?

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:58

Proud Rat Mom: Apr 2, 2012; did absolutely fuck all

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not giving my daughter money for school lunch?

My daughter is 12, and just started her last year of middle school. Already even though she's only been in school for a week and a half, we're having an issue that we had last year as well.

I prepare all of my daughter's lunches, or I will prep several ingredients for things and she can sort of assemble her own lunch. They're healthy, nutritious, and never made up of things she doesn't like. But towards the end of last year and now she has been basically throwing a fit once a week about how she's tired of having her own lunch and she wants to buy lunch. I looked into the school's lunch program, and while it's not as good as a homemade meal, her school has many lunch programs you can sign your kid up for including one that is pretty dang diverse and healthy. I told her I was fine with signing her up for the lunch program if she'd like.

Nope. She wants to have some extra money so she can buy junk and she claims that there is a huge culture of trading food and no one wants hers and she feels left out when everyone else has pizza. The school has little separate kiosks for junk food that are open at various points in the week, and I know if I gave her money for the whole week, she'd just eat that stuff or get candy from the school shop. I told her if she wants a little extra money she can do some more around the house, then use that for pizza or something once or twice a week, but that if she does that *we probably won't go out as a family for fast food on the weekends (not that we do much now already). She'd still be free to eat whatever snacks she buys, go out to eat with friends (which I usually pay for so she doesn't spend her own money to be social), etc. No go.

She gets money for grade improvements or anytime she learns a new skill, and she also has a "snack allowance" if she goes to the store with her mother or me, where basically in exchange for being useful at the grocery store, she has a set amount of money out of the grocery budget for the week just for snacks for herself. We do "tax" unhealthy snacks a bit more so she doesn't blow it all on candy or something. Point is, she COULD use her own money though I still wouldn't allow it daily.

I also asked my older child who went to the same middle school and was there with her for his last year and her first if he's ever noticed any bullying of her about this stuff. I don't trust him to be observant enough to know if she's being bullied, but he said no one cares what other people are eating and he doesn't know of anyone getting bullied for snacks. He also mentioned that when he was there, if she had a problem with someone, she came to him and she never mentioned anything about snacks. Of course, that was only the first year, and she started complaining the second year so who knows.

It's also worth noting that my daughter does not LIKE fast food for the most part, and so this is very socially motivated for her and not food motivated for her.

Her mother disagrees with me and is worried I'm going to give her an eating disorder, but I feel like if the only eating disorder I give my kid is one where she know how to make healthy, nutritious meals, then I'm fine with that. Even if she pushes back and eats unhealthily in college or something, at least she'll have good habits and the know how to get it back if she needs. AITA?

Edit: a lot of focus on the "tax" at the grocery store. First, it's not an actual tax, which is why I put it in quotation marks. It's more like, we say "you can get approximately $X worth of snacks while we're here, but if it's only candy/processed food, then you can only spend ($X-$5) or whatever. Or if she comes back with only a a tub of ice cream, a giant bag of candy and a giant bag of chips, we might tell her to put one back and not eat it all in one sitting, and next time we go shopping, just grab her some healthier stuff we know she likes. We don't even give her any money in these scenarios, nor make it an exact amount she can spend and certainly don't make her count it back to us or take the money back as an actual tax. Most times we don't even bring it up since we she usually gets a good mixture of snacks with a treat or two.

I absolutely hate this guy

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:03

Voting Floater: May 19, 2019

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for purposely catching my fiance masturbating?

For reference, he almost never wants to have sex and we have tried alarms,talking about it, etc. He masturbates 3/4 times a week and we recently talked about him cutting down to once a week to see if it improves his libido towards me.

What? A sex alarm? Like, six o'clock is sex o'clock? Someone please educate me about sex alarms.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:04

Fitzy Fitz: May 14, 2005

Voting Floater posted:

What? A sex alarm? Like, six o'clock is sex o'clock? Someone please educate me about sex alarms.

i think she means an alarm that goes off when he masturbates

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:06

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Proud Rat Mom posted:

I absolutely hate this guy

He's arguing with basically everyone in the thread who doesn't 100% validate him.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:06

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

Voting Floater posted:

What? A sex alarm? Like, six o'clock is sex o'clock? Someone please educate me about sex alarms.

I tried sex alarms but I accidentally Pavlov�d myself into blowing my load when someone�s phone goes off

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:07

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

MarcusSA posted:

Unreliable drunk.

I'm guessing there was a hole in his shoe, but the bouncer's problem was more that the guy's cock was thrust through the hole and it was the only thing he was wearing.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:09

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

I made my stepmom cry by mentioning her dead son.

quote:

I(16M)take Zoloft everyday. My stepmom really hates it, every time she sees me taking it she starts ranting about how it�s a poison and I should treat my illness with �natural remedies�.

Her son overdosed on some pills 5 years ago, that�s why she�s so sensitive about them I guess, but I had enough already, I couldn�t take 45 minute lectures everyday about how I�m putting poison in my body. She tried to hide it(medicine) too multiple times.

Yesterday was one of those days, she saw me taking it in kitchen. Started ranting again, offering me some natural remedies because these pills could really hurt me. I told her �you should�ve told that to your son, leave me alone�. She froze and went upstairs. That afternoon my dad talked to me, he told me that what I said was extremely disrespectful,she cried for hours and I should just put up with it for sake of them and respect both of them.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:11

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

ad090 posted:

I made my stepmom cry by mentioning her dead son.

Good news, in two years you never have to see these assholes again.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:13

Nastyman: Jul 11, 2007; There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for insisting that a bouncer elaborates more?

Last evening I had a few drinks with some friends and decided to go to a club to join some other friends. Arriving at the door the bouncer asks for my iD, I give it then the other bouncer notices a hole in my shoe then says I can't come in because of the hole in my shoe because it is a "security risk". I ask in what way is it a security risk - no answer besides "just leave". I insist for an actual reason ans the bouncer grabs me by arm and chucks me to floor, I get up continue asking "what the hell?". The bouncer starts pushing me away so I just ended up leaving.

Firstly I'm fairly sure a bouncer can't be violent except in self defense and secondly a hole in a shoe isn't a reason, even less so if they don't explain why it is.

I was at best tipsy so no I wasn't too drunk.

Am I the rear end in a top hat for wanting a clear explanation? Does anyone have an explanation to why it can be a security risk?

I speak from experience when I say bouncers in some places WILL outright deny you for improper footwear. I've been turned away for arriving in sneakers after a barhop, and a cursory glance at the bouncer is usually enough to tell most people that they are not in the mood for debating rules when they're on the clock. You either learn to deal with it or you get put in an armlock.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:16

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Maybe he thought the guy had a camera in his shoe.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:16

bamhand: Apr 15, 2010

You can only make up for a son dying from an overdose by hiding your other son's medication. Then if he dies you'll be karmically balanced.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:17

bamhand: Apr 15, 2010

Nastyman posted:

You either learn to deal with it or you get put in an armlock.

I don't know how bouncers work, but isn't this just assault? I assume if you refuse to leave, you're now trespassing but that doesn't necessarily give them the right to assault you right?

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:20

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

ad090 posted:

I made my stepmom cry by mentioning her dead son.
That afternoon my dad talked to me, he told me that what I said was extremely disrespectful,she cried for hours and I should just put up with it for sake of them and respect both of them.

uh why should he respect someone who is telling him to ignore his medical needs because of her emotional anxieties

just because someone has power over you doesn't mean you have to respect them. why do people always assume this is what this means? and it's always literally the worst people, because it is the type of horrible people who shudder with glee at the concept of being Respected As An Authority.

in general, demanding respect like this makes you unworthy of that very same desired respect

yet none of these folks can ever manage to see they're caught in an oroburous of rimming themselves endlessly

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 21:29 on Sep 3, 2019

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:23

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

and at least he didn't go with the very obvious low-blow of 'this is why your son killed himself, y'know'

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:27

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

goethe.cx posted:

Was that the guy who insisted that �vulva� wasn�t a real word and was a misspelling of vagina, or is that a different vagsplainer?

And then went on to write a 20 page paper about it roughly three weeks later

https://twitter.com/paulbullen/status/1100851128516829184?s=20

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:27

Nastyman: Jul 11, 2007; There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

bamhand posted:

I don't know how bouncers work, but isn't this just assault? I assume if you refuse to leave, you're now trespassing but that doesn't necessarily give them the right to assault you right?

I may have been a little hyperbolic, I have no idea how much force is actually allowed, (although I wouldn't try their patience, it's not like they have to abide by the prime directive) but the point is arguing with the bouncer never leads to a good time for anyone involved.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:33

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

christmas boots posted:

And then went on to write a 20 page paper about it roughly three weeks later

https://twitter.com/paulbullen/status/1100851128516829184?s=20

Dr. Foo Diddley: Actually the correct word is "Volvo" and it is reliable and boxy, unlike any part of the female anatomy

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:38

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

christmas boots posted:

And then went on to write a 20 page paper about it roughly three weeks later

https://twitter.com/paulbullen/status/1100851128516829184?s=20

quote:

So using vulva in those situations is not correct, if by correct we mean consistent with prevailing expectations. The correct word, in that sense, is vagina. The claim should be seen as trivially true, assuming its factual basis is right.

Using words correctly is actually incorrect, if they are words that I do not know the meaning of. :eng101:

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:50

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

TheScott2K posted:

Schools are absolutely not equipped at all to handle "talk poo poo get hit" situations. It's time for Jake's parents to explain to him that authority figures are just another set of people trying to get through the day, and that sometimes the value of doing the right thing comes with a cost. He did the right thing and he got in trouble for it. Luckily, getting suspended means jack gently caress in the grand scheme.

Yeah but they are super equipped to deal with "serial racist harassment", and clearly did a total poo poo half-rear end job on that front. Seriously, I work in education and the authority figures hosed up here and deserve no sympathy.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:59

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

cumshitter posted:

My boyfriend (28M) has decided to learn my (23F) native language. He has decided he is better than me and wants me to relearn it and refuses to drop it. Please help.

In the comments she reveals the language is Gaelic

lol gently caress anyone who thinks their sterile classroom learned language is more correct than actual organic street language.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:02

Geoj: May 28, 2008; BITTER POOR PERSON

bamhand posted:

I don't know how bouncers work, but isn't this just assault? I assume if you refuse to leave, you're now trespassing but that doesn't necessarily give them the right to assault you right?

Technically? I mean, yeah, it is battery by the letter of the law...but unless you have multiple cameras running when they do it good luck proving anything.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:06

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

BONGHITZ posted:

I was betting on Italian

I'm imaging my second generation mother being told that she made meatballs wrong in her own house I can't see the person living through that.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:08

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

ad090 posted:

I made my stepmom cry by mentioning her dead son.

If her son had been taking real medication instead of fake "natural" poo poo for his depression maybe he would be alive. That lady is a big ole oval office that needs some serious therapy (but won't get it because of TOXINS!!! and will probably amass hoard of crystals and angel tarots in the next five years.)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:11

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Geoj posted:

Technically? I mean, yeah, it is battery by the letter of the law...but unless you have multiple cameras running when they do it good luck proving anything.

also clubs just wouldn't work if bouncers couldn't toss out belligerent drunks, of course the cops let it slide or they'd be there every night

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:12

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Araenna posted:

I'm imaging my second generation mother being told that she made meatballs wrong in her own house I can't see the person living through that.

I've seen articles expressing their consternation that Italian-Americans used terms that didn't match up to standard Italian.
Like "LOL IT IS MOZZARELLA, WAT IS MOTZADEL? OR MOTZ? YOU TALK WRONG LOL"
Then linguists of course have to remind people that Italy popped up like less time ago than photography, and most people who immigrated didn't come from the parts they took standard Italian from. Shocker!

It's like people going up to someone speaking Catalan and telling them their Spanish is wrong.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:26

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Also lol more generally at a British guy acting like he's never heard of a language having a large variety of variations. You can't go like ten miles in Britain without everyone sounding super different.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:27

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Runcible Cat posted:

Have we found the Ultimate Mansplainer?

Well, actually,

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:30

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

quote:

AITA for insisting that a bouncer elaborates more?

I'm not sure what the absolute lowest priority of a bouncer's job duties are but I'm sure "elaborating" is up there.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:34

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Sunswipe posted:

Were you searching for "gay lick" and autocorrect hosed it up?

the tongue of noted paedophile, william wallace

coming at you in a bothy

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:35

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

DemoneeHo posted:

Well... this morning I [29M] walked in on my girlfriend [29F] in bed with another man [30ish M who is my co-worker]

He updated! Man, what's with Reddit people actually listening and making good decisions lately?

quote:

*****EDIT 2: I want to thank everyone that responded and gave me tons of great insight and advice!! so grateful for this community! I didn't reply to every single persons comments but i read them all! Here is the conclusions i've come to with the help of your guy's perspectives

1: I will never know if anything happened sexually or not, it just simply unknowable. So right there the relationship is done! I could never; sleep in the same bed as her, kiss her, or be intimate with her ever again without that little thought creeping up in my mind of 'did something happen between them that she's not telling me?'. Moreover just that image of me walking in on them in bed together will forever be seared into my brain.

2: She has terrible personal boundaries and judgement for what is acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship. Having an ex fwb spend the night is something almost every normal person would intuitively know is completely inappropriate. Moreover her keeping in contact with her exes while in a relationship and saying "anyone i date has to be okay that i talk to my exes" is a huge red flag i should've payed more attention to

3: She LIED! first lied by omission but purposefully not telling me 'who' was spending the night. Then when confronted about it she lied about him spending the night in her bed. If there was nothing to hide you would either call me and explain to me what happened without needing to be prompted or asked about it OR at least be honest when I start to ask about what transpired. Had i not caught him in her bed, she would have NEVER told me, she would've taken that one to the grave.

4: She KNEW I had been screwed over and ROYALLY devastated in the past (ex-gf told me i was the father of her child, 7 months into the pregnancy found out she had been seeing another guy for over a year, child ended up not being mine). So she knew i had HUUUUGE trust issues, yet she made the CHOICE to put herself in that situation, a situation which could CLEARLY gently caress me up even more than i already have been.

5: There are other red flags that i was ignoring; strange behaviors, neediness issues, gaslighting, and constantly picking fights with me and telling me i'm a bad person. She would even accuse me of cheating, when in reality she was literally the only girl I talk to and never even got remotely close to cheating.

So at the end of the day there is no saving this relationship, as one of the commenters has said "You can't put that genie back in the bottle"..... ugh! i really wish she had made a different choice that night, i truly do. I wish none of this had ever happened, but i guess i'm lucky that this happened now instead it happening years into a marriage. It hurts... it hurts like hell and brings me back to the dark painful places i've been before when i've been hosed over. But i've gotten through worse and i will eventually get through this as well. I'll make sure to learn lessons from this and apply them to girls i meet in the future. Definitely need to be better as screening girls, and not ignore red flags especially in regards to their personal boundaries and morals. I'll grow from this and be an even better version of myself than i was before i got into this relationship

Thank you again to everyone love ya guys!

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:37

FeculentWizardTits: Aug 31, 2001

Nastyman posted:

I may have been a little hyperbolic, I have no idea how much force is actually allowed, (although I wouldn't try their patience, it's not like they have to abide by the prime directive) but the point is arguing with the bouncer never leads to a good time for anyone involved.

Star Trek would've been a much more interesting show if the prime directive was "don't put people in armlocks"

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:40

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Grape posted:

I've seen articles expressing their consternation that Italian-Americans used terms that didn't match up to standard Italian.
Like "LOL IT IS MOZZARELLA, WAT IS MOTZADEL? OR MOTZ? YOU TALK WRONG LOL"
Then linguists of course have to remind people that Italy popped up like less time ago than photography, and most people who immigrated didn't come from the parts they took standard Italian from. Shocker!

It's like people going up to someone speaking Catalan and telling them their Spanish is wrong.

I read something like that recently. My mom doesn't speak Italian (her father refused to teach them because of discrimination or the like), but does pronounce the words she knows (mostly food) in a regional dialect. It was cool to learn about where it came from.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:44

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Grape posted:

I've seen articles expressing their consternation that Italian-Americans used terms that didn't match up to standard Italian.
Like "LOL IT IS MOZZARELLA, WAT IS MOTZADEL? OR MOTZ? YOU TALK WRONG LOL"
Then linguists of course have to remind people that Italy popped up like less time ago than photography, and most people who immigrated didn't come from the parts they took standard Italian from. Shocker!

It's like people going up to someone speaking Catalan and telling them their Spanish is wrong.

Seeing you mention Catalán reminds me how disappointed I am that my grandmother didn't teach her kids Valencian so my mother could in turn teach me.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:48

Ebola Roulette: Sep 13, 2010; No matter what you ~~win~~ ~~lose~~ ragepiss.

ParserGirl posted:

Dr. Phil had a few of these women on his show.

They cling to the idea that they're pregnant just as hard as a flat earther.

-It's also very sad and truly a mental illness. I had to stop watching halfway through to add that.

Some of those women also become pregnant for real which further reinforces their delusion that they really were pregnant.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:50

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

DemoneeHo posted:

Mu Son (12/M) punched classmate in the face for derogatory comments and doesn’t want to apologize. Not sure exactly how to proceed?

lady needs a paternity test because this kid has bigger balls than her husband

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:53

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Araenna posted:

I read something like that recently. My mom doesn't speak Italian (her father refused to teach them because of discrimination or the like), but does pronounce the words she knows (mostly food) in a regional dialect. It was cool to learn about where it came from.

yea people kinda roast people who talk 'normal' but get super Italian when they say food and all but they kinda forget that Italy literally didn't exist as we know it until the loving civil war over here, there's a poo poo load of 'Italian' immigrants who are actually, say from Parme, and Parme super wasn't Rome, language wise. For a lot of them their only real connection was regional words that other immigrants from other chunks of Italy could figure out.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 22:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 18:00

bamhand: Apr 15, 2010

Geoj posted:

Technically? I mean, yeah, it is battery by the letter of the law...but unless you have multiple cameras running when they do it good luck proving anything.

I'm amazed this works in America, land of the gun. I assume being a black bouncer would suuuuck.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 23:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »