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lofi posted:I'm guessing it depends on if you prefer WW2 films or heist films. do "top gun, but in outer space", throw a few million at tom cruise to do a cameo - boom, there's a billion right there.
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Sep 11, 2019 05:19
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Legitimately excited for the eventual stand alone Jar Jar movie.
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Sep 11, 2019 05:45
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The inevitable collapse of civilization might just be worth it if it means no more Star Wars movies.
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Sep 11, 2019 05:51
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:do "top gun, but in outer space", throw a few million at tom cruise to do a cameo - boom, there's a billion right there. Can we set the homoerotica dial to 11 and crank up the 80s tunes? I want to hear the cantina band do Danger Zone.
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Sep 11, 2019 11:26
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Bold Robot posted:What's the explanation for why Darth Maul was there in Solo, I assume like everything else that isn't explicitly spelled out in the current movies there's some retarded side media about it. Haha you bet there is! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRQ-u2kBzTI
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Sep 11, 2019 11:51
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I just heard from my uncle at Lucasfilm what the new movie is about. The whole movie is gonna be all the people setting up various and increasingly elaborate pranks to get a rise out of Skywalker. In one prank they prepare a bucket of oatmeal and place it over Skywalker's door so that it will fall down when he enters, but instead Palpatine walks through the door and the bucket falls on his head and he dies. In the end there is a plot twist in that Skywalker sits down and watches space porn and gets a boner and it turns out that was the Real Rise of Skywalker. He doesn't jack off because that's against the Jedi Code. No spoilers intended.
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Sep 11, 2019 11:55
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Rei is gonna turn out to be a Skywalker after all.
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Sep 11, 2019 12:34
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~the Rise of Skywalker~ 'skywalker! are you going to spend your whole life in bed? it's after 11!' 'uggggh... go away' 'dammit skywalker! if you don't rise up and face the day, you'll never get to kiss your sister!' 'ok, ok... jeez'
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Sep 11, 2019 13:07
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The entire story arc was a dream from the moment the sand people knocked Luke unconscious. He woke up safely at Uncle Owens about 4 hours later with a nasty bump and his uncle pissed that he had to go out and do his errands for him after telling him to watch out for the goddamn sandpeople. Again.
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Sep 11, 2019 14:26
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There appears to be some credible spoilers making the rounds on the internet. Just finished reading them and holy poo poo this movie is going to be awful.
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Sep 11, 2019 14:28
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Just describe them. I doubt anyone in this thread is really holding out hope or gives a poo poo at this point
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Sep 11, 2019 14:32
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Big Beef City posted:The entire story arc was a dream from the moment the sand people knocked Luke unconscious. <George Lucas's mother wakes up from a dream, visibly shaken and obviously pregnant> <she knows it's all just a dream, but she can't shake the feeling she has seen the future> <she tries to go about her day, but teddy bears, a black man with asthma, and whatever the gently caress, "Toshi Station" is keep flashing through her head> <she goes to the closet and grabs a coat-hanger. . .slowly unwinding and straightening it, tears streaming down her face>
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Sep 11, 2019 14:33
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Big Beef City posted:Just describe them. not to give too much away but i was pretty surprised by how the giant human-sized midichlorian starts break dancing
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Sep 11, 2019 14:51
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Ray and the chest boy have to fusion dance and become Captain Midichlorian to beat the true villain behind it all, jar jar binks
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Sep 11, 2019 15:10
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"The force is an energy field created by living things? Well? poo poo is made by living things too!" actual dialog
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Sep 11, 2019 15:15
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Meesa drop somma phat beats onna you! *Touches the one ear the headphones are covering as the other hand hits the tables*
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Sep 11, 2019 15:15
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It features what seems like a water planet with giant fish and racist lizards but that's not water!
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Sep 11, 2019 15:16
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Just saw a clickbait article that suggested chewie might die Didn’t click it but if that happens there will be riots You thought Rodney king was bad
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Sep 11, 2019 15:21
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They gonna crash a moon into him!
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Sep 11, 2019 15:22
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Applewhite posted:In my heart, it was. That was the day Star Wars died for me. The day the Star Wars died you say? https://youtu.be/hEcjgJSqSRU
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Sep 11, 2019 15:22
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Big Beef City posted:Meesa drop somma phat beats onna you! That scene had a lot of good worldbuilding. Turns out Star Wars has the same racial slurs we do!
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Sep 11, 2019 15:29
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Colonel Cancer posted:They gonna crash a moon into him! Vector Prime was my Star Wars puberty
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Sep 11, 2019 15:32
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things like hbomberguy legit fearing the loss of his livelihood if he does a video defending the prequels have convinced me that this is the worst loving franchise worshipped by the worst loving people i don't even like the prequels that much but I'd rather spend a Saturday marathoning them than sit through 5 minutes of any of the new movies (except for rogue one)
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Sep 11, 2019 15:35
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Ray and Finnegan siphon hypergas out of Ol' Ben's space truck but his rancor spots them and gives chase and they have to run for it. They end up hiding in Grant Danasty's barn, where they hatch a plan for new shenanigans. Finnegan distracts Grant's nerfherder wife by sweet-talking her, while Ray steals all the moisture they've been farming. Unfortunately she tips one of the vaporators over and it breaks, tripping the alarm.
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Sep 11, 2019 15:36
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What if the big evil sith also a rancor?!?
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Sep 11, 2019 15:37
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Applewhite posted:The inevitable collapse of civilization might just be worth it if it means no more Star Wars movies.
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Sep 11, 2019 15:38
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Mozi posted:not to give too much away but i was pretty surprised by how the giant human-sized midichlorian starts break dancing I thought the scene where they CSI enhance the midichlorian and it’s actually just a bunch of tiny jar jar binks was a pretty big reveal
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Sep 11, 2019 15:44
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b-minus1 posted:There appears to be some credible spoilers making the rounds on the internet. Just finished reading them and holy poo poo this movie is going to be awful. Post them poo poo
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Sep 11, 2019 15:50
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Do you think that ghost Luke is going to get a raging boner? I feel like that would be the most logical reason for the title. Asking for a friend.
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Sep 11, 2019 15:51
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Luke may be dead... But now Ray is searching for Bigger Luke to finish her training!
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Sep 11, 2019 15:54
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And he sure is "bigger" if you know what I mean 
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Sep 11, 2019 16:06
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Kazak posted:Post them poo poo https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsLeaks/comments/cxmfsv/the_basic_plot_of_episode_ix_the_rise_of/ As stated in a previous leak, it's been reiterated to me that we will indeed be getting young Luke and Leia flashbacks in TROS. One in particular appears to be the opening of the movie no less. We begin the action by seeing one of, if not the final training lesson between Luke and Leia. Leia is giving up her Jedi training due to the fact that she's pregnant with a son. My source on this mentioned a fight, so I believe that we may be getting Leia and Luke in a lightsaber duel toward the beginning of the film. Picking up in the current point in the timeline. Leia appears to have taken up the mantel of Jedi mentor to Rey in the wake of Luke's passing. Note: This will likely coincide with the scene from the D23 First Look where Rey throws here lightsaber at a training remote and cuts down a tree. Early on in the film, we catch up with Kylo's story where he is "slaughtering" people with the purpose of tracking down one of the film's McGuffins, a device known as the "wayfinder". I'm told that the clip of Kylo body slamming someone into the floor of a forest bathed in red light seen in the teaser. I'm also told that this planet is called "Exogol" (don't quote me on the spelling). Kylo obtains the wayfinder from "The Oracle" and finds it to contain coordinates to a point in the Unknown Regions. The wayfinder that Kylo is given once belonged to his grandfater. Using the coordinates found within the wayfinder device, Kylo arrives in the Unknown Regions. Here, Kylo encounters Emperor Palpatine. How Palpatine is still alive and how he ended up in the Unknown Regions is still a mystery to me that I hope to learn more about in the next few months (Note: Daisy Ridley recently said in an interview that it's explained in the film), but my source on this tells me that this is indeed Palpatine in the flesh. Kylo and Palpatine's conversation apparently centers around ordering Kylo to find Rey and bring her to the Emperor with the goal of turning her to the dark side. Note: It's not lost on me that this part of the story feels very Return of the Jedi inspired, but we'll just crack on and see how this all pans out. My source specifically mentioned that Palpatine is very old and decrepit at this point, possibly on the verge of death. A little bit of Googling reveals that Palpatine is thought to have been born around 84 BBY making him in the neighborhood of 113 years old by the events of The Rise of Skywalker. His goal in luring Kylo to him and converting Rey to darkness is more or less to have Rey and Kylo inherit his "new Empire" and for them to rule it together. In order to facilitate bringing about this "new Empire", Palpatine has spent his 30 years of PTO creating a fleet of "Death Star Destroyers" (Note: I don't know if this is their actual name or not. Personally, I hope not, it's bit on the nose) which appear to be exactly what they sound like. Star Destroyers with Death Star tech mounted on them, giving them the capability to destroy a planet. (Note: Apparently once this particular technology was unleashed 30 some odd years ago, that Pandora's box can't be shut again). According to my source, these star destroyers make up the "Sith Fleet" that house the new red Sith Troopers that were showcased at SDCC in July. Note: I wrote this prior to the First Look being shown and the fleet has since been confirmed. It's comprised of Imperial star destroyers hiding in the Unknown Regions and we see what appears to be their planet destroying capabilities during the reel. Enough about Rey and Kylo, let's get back to the rest of the Resistance. Apparently we catch up with Finn and Poe returning to the jungle planet depicted in some of the behind the scenes images shown at Celebration. The duo has been in contact with an informant from within the First Order. The mole has told Finn and Poe about Kylo coming into possession of the "wayfinder". Note: It's unclear to me if anyone in the Resistance understands what the "wayfinder" is or where it leads. They just want to find it. Poe and Finn tell Leia about this and she sends Rey, Chewbacca, C-3PO and the other droids to accompany them on the mission. In order to get them going on their quest, Leia puts them in contact with someone on Pasaana (The desert planet, filmed in Jordan). It's at this point in the story where the Resistance team makes their way to the desert planet seen in the teaser and behind the scenes footage. It's revealed that Leia's contact is Lando Calrissian. Lando points them toward another one of our McGuffins, a "Sith artifact" that apparently turns out to be a dagger. This dagger has some sort of writing on it that 3PO can’t decipher. Note: My source understands this to be a "Sith language". That description is pretty vague for me, but the key point is sound. Heroes find dagger, dagger has writing on it that 3PO can't read. It’s during our heroes time on Passana that Kylo initiates a Force mind link between himself and Rey. Through their connection Kylo discovers where Rey and the Resistance crew are and leaves to pursue them. Eventually Kylo and the Knights of Ren arrive and begin to attack our heroes. One thing leads to another and the Resistance crew gets outnumbered and they are forced to make their escape on an old ship leaving the Millennium Falcon behind. Kylo recovers the Falcon and takes it back to his Star Destroyer. As previously mentioned, 3PO is confronted with a challenge he is not equipped to handle. The artifact found on Passana contains a language that 3PO can’t translate without modifications. In order to modify 3POs programming, Poe brings the team to the wintery planet seen in the teaser (Kijimi per the Vanity Fair article). There C-3PO is modified to allow translation of the artifact. I'm told that the modification is done by a small alien (possibly the one pictured in Image A of my post from 6 months ago. I'm not 100% sure on that, but confident enough in who told this to me that I'm willing to put it out there) Once translatable the dagger supposedly reveals information regarding a second wayfinder, this one having belonged to Emperor Palpatine himself, leading the team to journey to the forest moon of Endor. Note: My sources tell me that the scene from the First Look reel showing 3PO with red eyes connects to this event. The Red eyes are part of the "hack" that allows him to translate the "Sith language". During the events leading to the modification of 3PO on the wintery planet, Kylo initiates another Force connection between he and Rey. Kylo supposedly uses this as an opportunity to begin forcing Rey down the path of darkness. He does this by antagonizing Rey. Kylo tells her that he knows about the dagger and what it was once used for. Kylo apparently tells her that this dagger was used to murder Rey’s parents. Kylo maintains that her parents are nobodies in the grand story. This angers Rey and she lashes out at Kylo and a lightsaber duel ensues. Rey is on Kijimi and Kylo is on his Star Destroyer. According to my source no flashes of any additional locations are seen during this fight (possibly in the film at all, but we'll see). Ren keeps the link alive long enough to learn Rey’s location and eventually peruses her in his Star Destroyer like before. Zori Bliss is introduced sometime during their time on this planet. Note: My sources told me that she has history with Poe prior to Keri Russell saying the same thing in an interview days ago. What this history may be is still a mystery to me right now. Once Kylo arrives, our gang of heroes decide to sneak aboard and attempt to recover the Falcon prior to leaving. The rescue plan goes awry and the whole group gets captured by the First Order. It’s at this point that two major things happen: It’s revealed that Hux is the First Order mole that has been feeding the Resistance information and he allows the heroes to escape while Kylo is distracted by dueling with Rey in person. During this duel, Kylo adds another wrinkle to Rey’s backstory. He maintains that while her parents are nobodies, her grandparents (more specifically her grandfather) wasn’t. Kylo tells Rey that she is the granddaughter of Papatine. This explains his interest in bringing the random nobody from Jakku into the fold. The crew recovers the Falcon, Rey reconnects with them and they all flee. Following her battle aboard the Star Destroyer and escape on the Falcon. Rey uses the newly gleaned information resulting from 3POs modifications and the translation of the dagger to travel to Endor. At this time, it’s a little unclear to me how Kylo gets from point A to point B, but supposedly he is waiting for Rey in Palpatine’s throne room aboard the wreckage of the second Death Star. (Note: I assume he knows the location of the second wayfinder due to his newfound connection to Palpatine, but that's just speculation on my part. I think it's important to note that Kylo may have been there before considering that he had the charred helmet of Vader in TFA.). Naturally, they fight. The specifics of this duel are unknown to me, but what I have been told about it is that it’s at this point when Rey begins to tap into some hatred to gain the upper hand and eventually defeats Kylo (Note: possibly destroying his lightsaber in the process, but that's more rumor than leak at the moment), leaving him for dead on the wreckage of the Death Star. Rey takes possession of Palpatine's wayfinder and leaves. My sources tell me that the "Dark Rey" moment seen in the D23 footage is in fact a vision (described to me as thematically similar to Luke seeing himself as Vader in the cave on Dagobah). This apparently is a short sequence that happens right after Rey picks up Palpatine's wayfinder. While lying in the wreckage of the Death Star weakened state Kylo Ren reportedly sees a vision of his father. (Note: It’s unclear to me if Han appears as a bona fide ghost or just through the magic of injury induced hallucinations, but this interaction supposedly acts as Kylo’s “come to Jesus” moment.) Han tells Kylo that it’s never too late to change and when he leaves Endor, he leaves not as Kylo Ren, but as Ben Solo. This duel is a critical tipping point for Rey as well. I’m told that in the wake of her confrontation with Kylo, she takes the wayfinder and flees to Ahch-to to collect her thoughts. Her mindset is reportedly mirror Luke’s while he was there prior to and during the events of The Last Jedi. The vision of a possible dark future for herself in conjunction fact that she nearly killed Kylo scared Rey in the same way that considering killing Ben in his sleep scared Luke many years prior. She feared the path she was headed down and decides to swear off the Jedi, exiling herself on Ahch-to. Rey scuttles the ship she used to get there just like Luke once did and she caps it all off by casting Anakin's reconstructed lightsaber toward her ship. Just when it looks like the Jedi Order is going to end (again), the specter of Luke Skywalker appears to Rey, holding her discarded lightsaber and does what all good Force ghosts do; gives our hero the resolve to do what needs to be done. Finish the work Luke began over 30 years earlier and put an end to the Emperor for good. According to my source, Luke passes on Leia’s lightsaber to Rey. (Note: I don't know where it came from, where it's been all this time, or how Luke is able to give it to Rey, but what I can tell you (with only about 50% confidence at this point) is that Leia's blade is supposedly blue.) Bolstered by her conversation with Luke, Rey takes Leia's lightsaber, transmits the location of the Sith fleet to the Resistance before heading out herself. On the subject of Force ghosts, Luke makes another appearance around the time of Rey and Kylo’s crises of faith. Back at the main Resistance base, Leia is on her deathbed. My source describes it to me like Yoda’s death in Return if the Jedi, nothing bad happened, it was just her time to go. Luke has come to says goodbye, but before it all ends for Leia, he has one final lesson for her... From what I've been able to put together, the final act of the film is structured like this: Rey leaves Ahch-to and travels to the Sith fleet in the Unknown Regions. Eventually the Resistance fleet arrives and battle ensues. Somehow, Rey finds her way to The Emperor who has been waiting for her. Palpatine confirms that what Kylo told her was true. Apparently after his defeat at DSII, Palpatine was shaken by the fact that he wasn't able to maintain his hold on Vader or seduce Luke to the darkness due to their familial bond. During the course of their conversation Palpatine makes reference to this bond between Vader and Luke and likens it to his bond with Rey hoping that whatever familial connection they have will be enough to win her over and become as strong as that of the Skywalkers. Note: What my source described next feels very reminiscent of RotJ. Rey is trapped in The Emperor’s throne room, watching two opposing fleets battle while she is helplessly gazes onward. It’s at this point that Kylo/Ben reappears. How we get to this next part is still a bit fuzzy to me, but apparently Ben and Rey join forces and begin attacking Palpatine. Leia's lightsaber comes back into play when Rey and Kylo share the Skywalker lightsabers throughout their fight. At some point the Emperor overpowers them both and supposedly kills Ben. (Note: there have been reports from other reputable leakers that Kylo kind of/sort of dies, but my source on this seemed pretty unambiguous. Personally, I think we'll just have to wait and see what we learn over the next few months.) When it looks like all Hope is lost, the ghosts of Luke and Leia show up to aid Rey. Together they overpower the Emperor and end his darkness once and for all. As for what the other members of the Resistance are doing at this point, they are engaged in a space battle against Palpatine's fleet lead by General Pryde. The Resistance's goal is supposedly to take out the flagship, severing communications and making navigation out of the Unknown Regions impossible. The flagship is destroyed around the same time that the Emperor dies. The last thing I was told is regarding the final sequence of the film. I don’t why, but our heroes travel to Tatooine. During these scenes, it is supposedly revealed that Rey has cannibalized Anakin/Luke's lightsaber and Leia's to make one of her own that supposedly has a yellow/gold blade. She buries the leftover pieces on the grounds of the former Lars homestead. The final shots of the Skywalker saga allegedly echo how the adventure began in ‘77, our heroes gazing at the horizon dreaming of the future as twin suns set in the distance. edit: wow that was longer than I thought. sorry
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Sep 11, 2019 16:08
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The Rise of Skywanker
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Sep 11, 2019 16:08
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olives black posted:things like hbomberguy legit fearing the loss of his livelihood if he does a video defending the prequels
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Sep 11, 2019 16:13
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Luke sneaking into young Ben Solo's tent at night and unsheathing his lightsaber was a metaphor. Think about it: Luke is an uncle, a religious leader, and someone with a history of incestous attraction. This is the last person you would leave alone with a young man. In the timely and challenging final chapter the audience will struggle to reconcile this truth with their perception of Luke as a beloved hero, while also dealing with Kylo Ren as a complicated victim.
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Sep 11, 2019 16:14
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Vomik posted:I thought the scene where they CSI enhance the midichlorian and it’s actually just a bunch of tiny jar jar binks was a pretty big reveal it's like poetry, it rhymes
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Sep 11, 2019 16:14
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b-minus1 posted:an adaptation of a 4-hour recording of a child bashing their toys together jesus christ
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Sep 11, 2019 16:22
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b-minus1 posted:https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsLeaks/comments/cxmfsv/the_basic_plot_of_episode_ix_the_rise_of/ Goddamn this poo poo sucks. quote:Palpatine has spent his 30 years of PTO creating a fleet of "Death Star Destroyers" (Note: I don't know if this is their actual name or not. Personally, I hope not, it's bit on the nose) which appear to be exactly what they sound like. Star Destroyers with Death Star tech mounted on them, giving them the capability to destroy a planet. This part in particular is offensively stupid.
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Sep 11, 2019 16:23
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jesus i'd say i'm so tired of all these star wars, but.... poo poo
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Sep 11, 2019 16:25
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I refuse to believe that rey is not a clone. How does that scene in the last movie where she sees her "parents" (herself) make any sense with that spoiler? Also lol that the "rise" of skywalker is their ghosts rising from the grave DeadFatDuckFat fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Sep 11, 2019 |
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Sep 11, 2019 16:41
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