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Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
I couple of days ago I dreamt about a really really close friend from college and we had a great dream day together just hanging out and catching up. Then the dream fast forwarded to six months later and I found out she'd died of cancer and I was devastated about not having spent more time with her. I was still feeling lovely when I woke up and typing this out I still kind of miss my good friend who I should emphasise never actually existed.

Since there's already a whomp posted it was basically this:

except feelings of decades old friendship.

Splicer has a new favorite as of 08:50 on Sep 12, 2019

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CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
I have a lot of dreams of things that happened when I was a little kid that absolutely, definitely, verifiably never happened. It's really disconcerting having dreams that your brain tags as memories of things that definitely happened when they absolutely did not.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
One fascinating thing about memories is that basically while they are just stored, they don't change, but everytime you pull them out of deep storage by remembering them, they might get slightly altered before being sent back to deep storage.

So your favorite memories, the one you remember most often, are the most altered and wrong of the lot.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Fathis Munk posted:

One fascinating thing about memories is that basically while they are just stored, they don't change, but everytime you pull them out of deep storage by remembering them, they might get slightly altered before being sent back to deep storage.

So your favorite memories, the one you remember most often, are the most altered and wrong of the lot.

Every time you recall an event you are essentially re-recreating it with the same process used for imagining/fantasizing.

This is why its so laughably easy to plant incredibly vivid memories of events that never occurred in people. A lot of folks' "earliest memories" are manufactured from their parents' accounts, rather than their own actual experience.

Vanrushal
Apr 2, 2005

I thought my Spitter was a Jockey!

Len posted:

My dream story nobody cares about :

There was this ghost that was forcing itself down my throat to kill or possess me or something? And I bit it.

That's when my girlfriend yelled and slapped me for waking her up by biting her in the back of the head.

I can still remember a dream I had when I was a kid where I'm swimming and I notice a snake coming after me. It gets close enough that I kick it in the face and it bites me, which wakes me up and I see my cat jumping down from the foot of my bed. I'm sorry, cat. :(

PhotoKirk
Jul 2, 2007

insert witty text here
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyachen/nashville-influencer-claims-smartwater-featured-motorcycle

IG "influencer" posts artsy photos of her motorcycle crash (complete with product placement), get roasted

dregan
Jan 16, 2005

I could transport you all into space if I wanted.
Dreamchat: I have twice in my life woken up convinced a dream was true. In one case I'd spent a year at a different uni, and I had incredibly vivid, familiar memories of the place - the building, the lecture rooms, friends, nights out, the lot. None of it was real. Shook me for a while.

The other I was utterly convinced a friend was dead, and had been for a while, to the extent I had to call them just to verify they weren't.

Brains are weird.

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Back in high school I dreamed Dick Cheney died. I only mention it because I'm still sad it wasn't true

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

The weirdest dreams are the ones with severe time dilation. I've had multiple dreams (usually from falling asleep very drunk and getting an uninterrupted 8+ hours) that seemed to last as long as 3 days.

a fatguy baldspot
Aug 29, 2018

sorry for starting dream chat. nobody cares what y’all dream about guys

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

a fatguy bald spot posted:

sorry for starting dream chat. nobody cares what y’all dream about guys

I dream of people no longer caring about derails.

a fatguy baldspot
Aug 29, 2018

chitoryu12 posted:

I dream of people no longer caring about derails.

keep posting

im reloading

Aleph Null
Jun 10, 2008

You look very stressed
Tortured By Flan
I had a dream that I was floating through an atrium. There were serpents in the foliage and then my fingers turned into sharp broken glass shards and I joined a group going to Mortal Kombat.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
The most recent dream I remember having is one in which Mark Canha (Oakland A's outfielder) & I fought zombies together and people bitten by zombies got flushed down toilets into hell.

Bargearse posted:

I swear I must be the only one who finds them even slightly interesting.

I love hearing/reading about people's dreams :unsmith:

Covski
Jun 24, 2007

Bringing the forums together with the greatest thread!

YeahTubaMike posted:

I love hearing/reading about people's dreams :unsmith:

finally some good stdh

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012

YeahTubaMike posted:

I love hearing/reading about people's dreams :unsmith:

Me too. It's very sweet. I wish people would write more about the emotional tone of their dreams.

Maybe it needs its own thread.

VVV Thanks!

WrenP-Complete has a new favorite as of 13:48 on Sep 13, 2019

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

WrenP-Complete posted:

Me too. It's very sweet. I wish people would write more about the emotional tone of their dreams.

Maybe it needs its own thread.

dudes

I always report here when I have an interesting dream that actually survives past the first few moments of wakefulness.

Zinkraptor
Apr 24, 2012

Reading about dreams is a lot less boring the hearing about them out loud because people get to the point a lot faster and are much better at filtering out unnecessary details. You don’t have to deal with all the pauses people do as they try to remember and explain something their brain is programmed to forget.

It helps that the topic is in “most interesting dreams” rather than “what nonsense I happened to dream last night”.


Edit: I wrote a dream here but it was too wordy and probably bad so I erased it.

Zinkraptor has a new favorite as of 16:34 on Sep 13, 2019

jjack229
Feb 14, 2008
Articulate your needs. I'm here to listen.

Zinkraptor posted:

Reading about dreams is a lot less boring the hearing about them out loud because people get to the point a lot faster and are much better at filtering out unnecessary details. You don’t have to deal with all the pauses people do as they try to remember and explain something their brain is programmed to forget.


My version of purgatory/not-quite-hell is me being forced to listen to someone telling me their dream. Each time I stop paying attention, they start over, but add more detail to the story. If I make it through their dream, the next person in an endless line steps up.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

Pastry of the Year posted:

dudes

I always report here when I have an interesting dream that actually survives past the first few moments of wakefulness.

Yes, not to ruin too much fun but let's take the dream chat to the dream thread. :)

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010


IDK about hellworld library fines but that sort of thing does happen? (Regardless of the possible genders of the participants.)

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007

Plausible I guess but the whole setup is classic stdh. They probably observed someone unable to borrow books due to fines, and may have even witnessed someone else pay those fines, but I guarantee it wasn't 29c and a little girl.

GreenMetalSun
Oct 12, 2012

bike tory posted:

Plausible I guess but the whole setup is classic stdh. They probably observed someone unable to borrow books due to fines, and may have even witnessed someone else pay those fines, but I guarantee it wasn't 29c and a little girl.

Where I live, if the amount owing or owed to the government is less than 1$ (or maybe even something like 2 - 3$) they just waive it, since it costs more than that to process the transaction. Also don’t libraries waive the fees if you actually bring the book back?

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
Anything less than 10 bucks in Seattle you can still check stuff out, and you only have to pay down to 9.99 to be able to check stuff out again. But if it's in one of those places where Republicans try and drug test people with food stamps I wouldn't be surprised if they had a zero tolerance policy towards late fees.

Jurgan
May 8, 2007

Just pour it directly into your gaping mouth-hole you decadent slut

GreenMetalSun posted:

Where I live, if the amount owing or owed to the government is less than 1$ (or maybe even something like 2 - 3$) they just waive it, since it costs more than that to process the transaction. Also don’t libraries waive the fees if you actually bring the book back?

Yeah, the only unrealistic part to me is the librarian demanding 29 cents before allowing a checkout.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


GreenMetalSun posted:

Where I live, if the amount owing or owed to the government is less than 1$ (or maybe even something like 2 - 3$) they just waive it, since it costs more than that to process the transaction. Also don’t libraries waive the fees if you actually bring the book back?

Mine never did. And that's why I stopped going to the Massillon library

freeedr
Feb 21, 2005

I love libraries. Who is the comedian that has the bit about how good libraries are and how little anyone uses them or cares about them while people are also buying millions of books

GAINING WEIGHT...
Mar 26, 2007

See? Science proves the JewsMuslims are inferior and must be purged! I'm not a racist, honest!

Skwirl posted:

Anything less than 10 bucks in Seattle you can still check stuff out, and you only have to pay down to 9.99 to be able to check stuff out again. But if it's in one of those places where Republicans try and drug test people with food stamps I wouldn't be surprised if they had a zero tolerance policy towards late fees.

Louisville KY is the same system. And while I have to enforce it, it’s always with an air of “I wish I could check this book out to you”.

Jurgan
May 8, 2007

Just pour it directly into your gaping mouth-hole you decadent slut

freeedr posted:

I love libraries. Who is the comedian that has the bit about how good libraries are and how little anyone uses them or cares about them while people are also buying millions of books

I don’t know who you mean, but I remember a segment on Colbert Report once where he argued libraries are socialist and good capitalists should fight against them by checking out books and refusing to return them until they were charged to replace the books.

Elysiume
Aug 13, 2009

Alone, she fights.

freeedr posted:

I love libraries. Who is the comedian that has the bit about how good libraries are and how little anyone uses them or cares about them while people are also buying millions of books
Don't know what you mean so instead I'll offer you this awful comic

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh
https://twitter.com/mattdizwhitlock/status/1176123548634669057

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Elysiume posted:

Don't know what you mean so instead I'll offer you this awful comic


I wonder if they're aware it's the sorts like Barnes and Noble that are faltering. Independent bookstores are doing just fine.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

AngryRobotsInc posted:

I wonder if they're aware it's the sorts like Barnes and Noble that are faltering. Independent bookstores are doing just fine.

I follow a book seller on Facebook. He often posts about the media wanting to interview him and they always end up wanting to ask about the demise of books and/or bookshops and/or shops in general and he has to say "I don't know what to tell you, I just opened a new book shop last week :shrug:"

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Jerry Cotton posted:

I follow a book seller on Facebook. He often posts about the media wanting to interview him and they always end up wanting to ask about the demise of books and/or bookshops and/or shops in general and he has to say "I don't know what to tell you, I just opened a new book shop last week :shrug:"

About a decade or so ago, I remember a lot of doomcriers in the media going on about how Amazon was going to be the death of the independent bookseller/bookshop. Like Walmart drives mom-and-pops out. A lot of people still think that's the case, when it's the big chains that are the ones going down, like Barnes and Noble, or are gone, like Borders. And there are more independent stores, both new and used, and existing ones have seen an increase in sales.

GreenMetalSun
Oct 12, 2012


Transcript, because it's long:

quote:

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO??

____________________________________________________________

Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

____________________________________________________________

Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

____________________________________________________________

Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so…how was narnia?

____________________________________________________________

Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS

____________________________________________________________

Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

____________________________________________________________

Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

____________________________________________________________

Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

____________________________________________________________

Bro: aw gently caress

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl!

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

You limp lettuce

InsertPotPun
Apr 16, 2018
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!

yeah I eat rear end posted:

poo poo that has never not happened: someone saying "I don't want to hear about your dreams" and being met with a flood of "yeah i agree, but this one was just SO weird, can't make heads or tails of it".
"I don't believe in ghosts."

"Just you wait until I tell you the tale of the time I was half awake and a ghost..."

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012

GreenMetalSun posted:



Transcript, because it's long:




This is violence

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Tunicate
May 15, 2012

A big name celebrity!

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