[Cyberpunk Dystopia] Spotify Car Thing has been compromised to a permanent end.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Cyberpunk Dystopia] Spotify Car Thing has been compromised to a permanent end.

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(Thread IKs: Platystemon)

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

olfactory sensors have detected you have smelly dick which may affect production you are now tresspassing on Amazon property non-employee

# ? Oct 5, 2019 11:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 22:23

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

https://twitter.com/TheGlenlivet/status/1179447297807147009

# ? Oct 5, 2019 12:03

Bulgakov: Mar 8, 2009; рукописи не горят

Splicer posted:

https://twitter.com/TheGlenlivet/status/1179447297807147009

haha what the gently caress

# ? Oct 5, 2019 12:54

Bulgakov: Mar 8, 2009; рукописи не горят

is this a "millennials are killing the scotch industry, so lets put it in what they love. tide pods!" marketing idea????

# ? Oct 5, 2019 12:55

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

cool. I�m sick of having to hide all those little bottles.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 12:57

Bulgakov: Mar 8, 2009; рукописи не горят

they musta aged that idea in a bog because its a few years too late to be hip

# ? Oct 5, 2019 12:57

Asimov: Feb 15, 2016

Yeah, were almost to year 2020 so the market demands something new and extreme. Get that whisky directly into my bloodstream and tickle the taste sensors in my brain with an electrical charge. Tasting and swallowing is becoming passé.

I heard about aerosolizing alcohol and sniffing it up your nose, what happened to that? Banned?

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:15

Enfys: Feb 17, 2013; The ocean is calling and I must go

I love the incredibly posh commercial tone of a luxury, high class experience that is completely destroyed when they plop some jiggly tide pod things on a wooden block.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:32

withak: Jan 15, 2003; Fun Shoe

that can�t be real.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:37

foobardog: Apr 19, 2007; There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend

If I heard that ad correctly, they're also claiming this is more environmentally sustainable? Than easily recyclable glass?

E: yes, that is exactly what they said. This probably really some cross-promotion thing for that capsule company. I mean cool, better than plastics, but still :psyduck:

foobardog has issued a correction as of 13:41 on Oct 5, 2019

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:39

exmachina: Mar 12, 2006; Look Closer

foobardog posted:

If I heard that ad correctly, they're also claiming this is more environmentally sustainable? Than easily recyclable glass?

Well you eat the packaging, so yeah

Edit: tho it is almost certainly double wrapped in plastic so...

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:40

foobardog: Apr 19, 2007; There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend

exmachina posted:

Well you eat the packaging, so yeah

Edit: tho it is almost certainly double wrapped in plastic so...

That just means we can possibly have yet another product contributing to the fatbergs in the sewer system.

Like with seaweed as a base it's probably actually biodegradable, but still...

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:44

Enfys: Feb 17, 2013; The ocean is calling and I must go

They have to be packaged in something for transport though, and probably individually wrapped to prevent any burst ones from damaging the others. Not drinking them from a (reusable) glass doesn't mean they create less overall waste.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:49

throw to first DAMN IT: Apr 10, 2007; This whole thread has been raging at the people who don't want Saracen invasion to their homes

Perhaps you too should be more accepting of their cultures

Can I shove those in my rear end?

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:51

throw to first DAMN IT: Apr 10, 2007; This whole thread has been raging at the people who don't want Saracen invasion to their homes

Perhaps you too should be more accepting of their cultures

Like, would they open up by themselves or would I need to include some sort of stirrer too?

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:51

foobardog: Apr 19, 2007; There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend

And now Twitter noticed that I clicked on the ad twice and threw a notification up to point me to it again.

I hate the future.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 13:54

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

throw to first drat IT posted:

Can I shove those in my rear end?

No that's coming next year.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 14:13

The Nastier Nate: May 22, 2005; All aboard the corona bus!

HONK! HONK!; Yams Fan

Geshtal posted:

You're not thinking like an executive. The actual point of this and all other 'productivity tracking' is to deliberately create impossible standards so you're free to fire any worker on any whim at any time without worrying about labor laws. The few soul-crushed employees the bosses actually like will never be held accountable to the stated standard so long as they stay in the managers' good graces.

You can already fire anyone for any reason basically, with the exception of the protected classes at which point you can still fire them for being black or Jewish or a woman or whatever...but you gotta make it less
Obvious.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 14:18

sick zip everywhere: Jul 21, 2010

Do they come with a reusable applicator pen?

# ? Oct 5, 2019 15:28

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

the container is apparently made of seaweed (????)

guess this is how i can openly drink at work!

# ? Oct 5, 2019 16:42

Centrist Committee: Aug 6, 2019

The Nastier Nate posted:

You can already fire anyone for any reason basically, with the exception of the protected classes at which point you can still fire them for being black or Jewish or a woman or whatever...but you gotta make it less
Obvious.

Yes but executives are very Not Racist so they like it when spreadsheets do their racism for them

# ? Oct 5, 2019 16:48

Tubgoat: Jun 30, 2013; by sebmojo

withak posted:

that can’t be real.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 17:27

im on the net me boys: Feb 19, 2017; Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhhjjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cannabis

Splicer posted:

https://twitter.com/TheGlenlivet/status/1179447297807147009

Seems weird but looks like it could be fun; I would try it

# ? Oct 5, 2019 17:34

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3: Nov 15, 2003

im on the net me boys posted:

Seems weird but looks like it could be fun; I would try it

ugh you have to BITE the seaweed thing and let it burst into your mouth like a blood capsule, and then eat the seaweed. if the thing dissolved in your mouth that might be cool, but something like that could never survive a bar environment.

if you want to "eat" your booze, liquor filled chocolates are a thing. why aren't those more popular?

# ? Oct 5, 2019 17:44

im on the net me boys: Feb 19, 2017; Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhhjjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cannabis

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3 posted:

ugh you have to BITE the seaweed thing and let it burst into your mouth like a blood capsule, and then eat the seaweed. if the thing dissolved in your mouth that might be cool, but something like that could never survive a bar environment.

if you want to "eat" your booze, liquor filled chocolates are a thing. why aren't those more popular?

I agree, why aren't they more popular? I really like those.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 17:52

Breakfast All Day: Oct 21, 2004

finally, peate flavored jello shots

# ? Oct 5, 2019 18:37

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

weed infused chocolate covered cherries with a brandy center are extremely good

# ? Oct 5, 2019 19:15

mike12345: Jul 14, 2008; "Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."

literally the shittiest dystopia

https://twitter.com/mbrennanchina/status/1180095792050106368

# ? Oct 5, 2019 19:22

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

The Internet of poo poo strikes again.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 19:36

Bear Retrieval Unit: Nov 5, 2009; Mudslide Experiment

Splicer posted:

https://twitter.com/TheGlenlivet/status/1179447297807147009

but what if you could get hosed up on eating tide pods? :thunk:

# ? Oct 5, 2019 19:41

Bear Retrieval Unit: Nov 5, 2009; Mudslide Experiment

throw to first drat IT posted:

Can I shove those in my rear end?

Johnny Walker are developing a suppository.

# ? Oct 5, 2019 19:44

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

johnny walker brown

# ? Oct 5, 2019 19:56

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Bear Retrieval Unit posted:

Johnny Walker are developing a suppository.

my rear end is already full of poo poo though

# ? Oct 5, 2019 21:59

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

whiskey helps with that

# ? Oct 5, 2019 22:11

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Individually sealed vodka soaked manpons. Yes, they come in camo!

# ? Oct 5, 2019 22:53

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Third World Reagan posted:

here you go, one of the few videos about this list

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll8zGaWhofU

Jared takes a hard look at the human rights abuses and war crimes in the Warsaw Ghetto. Today in history, we visit the historical sites sites where Jews took up defensive positions, died rather than face capture, and refused to become the victims of Nazi violence.

Not only has this video been demonitized, you owe us money per view.

Crusader posted:

https://twitter.com/comrade_star/status/1179090739159977984

The How Stuff Works guy literally wrote a dystopian/utopian Sci-Fi story about this 7 years ago
https://marshallbrain.com/manna.htm

Shear Modulus posted:

its pretty telling that amazon has both some of the most advanced automation and artificial intelligence technology and also one of the largest manual labor workforces and they are spending time automating the management of the manual laborers instead of automating the manual labor

You can't just balance manual labor versus automation, you have to balance it so that you maximize productivity with workers being paid minimum wage with employment-dependent health insurance. Too many people unemployed and they'll realize their ability to revolt.

foobardog posted:

That just means we can possibly have yet another product contributing to the fatbergs in the sewer system.

Like with seaweed as a base it's probably actually biodegradable, but still...

It's almost exactly like a Tide or Dishwasher detergent pod, but completely flavorless and minimally textured blend of glycerin and cellulose that melts in your mouth within seconds. I work with one of the world's top seaweed researchers (he's retired but not really retired and apparently bringing in grants north of $100m) and this is one of the products they can make with minimal processing that produces a strong, tough, capsules that are insoluble on the inside, but water soluble on the outside and dissolve entirely when put in the mouth. On top of that, the "waste" product is nutritionally rich biomass that can either be used as agricultural fertilizer or just dumped as a carbon sink. On top of that, the reason that it makes such a good fertilizer and carbon sink is that the stuff that isn't going into whiskey tide pods is the non-slimy component of seaweed and is optimal for bioremidiation of excess nitrogen and phosphorus runoff from inland farms with a growth zone starting at the mouths of rivers and extending out to a depth of about 100 feet. It's a truly awesome process and the only reason Long Island Sound isn't deader than the dead sea.

# ? Oct 6, 2019 04:11

other people: Jun 27, 2004; Associate Christ

so what you're saying i should eat as many of these whisky pods as i can, to help.

# ? Oct 6, 2019 09:02

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

GWBBQ posted:

The How Stuff Works guy literally wrote a dystopian/utopian Sci-Fi story about this 7 years ago
https://marshallbrain.com/manna.htm

Not seven. Sixteen.

# ? Oct 6, 2019 09:09

Farm Frenzy: Jan 3, 2007