- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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I loving hate this man. Yes, foist an nnocent child off on your abusive, personality disordered wife, I'm sure it'll all work out in the end
He's an idiot for knocking her up, but he's not foisting a kid on her. It's her kid too. You're like the dad that calls watching his kids "babysitting."
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Oct 8, 2019 20:29
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 21:56
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- new boot goofin
- Jul 23, 2007
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like school in july
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Did.. did you not read the quote I posted? It's essentially implying that he's okay with having a kid with this woman because it's going to divert her attention away from him
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Oct 8, 2019 20:33
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Aitah for wanted a zelda theamed wedding.
Hey so short unformated story from a dislexic. My fiance abd i are planning on getting married october 10th 2020. (Next year) When we were sitting around thinking of theams i was really excited for a legend of zelda theamed wedding. I had my heart set on it for months. We are broke so it wasnt like we could have the wedding at a ocean beach or something like that. He hadnt seemed to thrilled in planning the wrdding until Just a few days ago my fiance came to me and said he would rather a steven universe theam. To be fair it was something we had bonded on the night he asked me out. I dont want to be a bridezilla but its the first time he seemed genuenly intrested in planning the wedding. Im i an rear end whole? Its suposed to be our day. I though of maybe a combo of stevsn and cony wedding but their theam being zelda... But that just doesnt work for me... What do i do?
I didn’t think they allowed 13 year olds to get married??
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Oct 8, 2019 20:39
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Did.. did you not read the quote I posted? It's essentially implying that he's okay with having a kid with this woman because it's going to divert her attention away from him
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Oct 8, 2019 20:39
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- new boot goofin
- Jul 23, 2007
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like school in july
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Yeah, but you hate him because his wife is horrible. Why not put the blame on the horrible wife? You realize nothing he does is going to make the wife smother the child any more or less, right?
That's exactly why I hate him, because he is actively choosing to raise a child with an abusive monster and goes "but I caaaaan't" when people tell him GET A loving DIVORCE. poo poo changes when there's an innocent child in the picture, he has to cut ties if he wants a halfway normal kid but it seems like all he's doing is making excuses. I mean the guy even admits there were red flags in the relationship but she (and I quote) "trapped" him, instead of taking responsibility for his own decisions.
In short, wife is an abusive shitmonster, husband needs to gtfo, but this was posted 6 years ago so who know wtf happened
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Oct 8, 2019 20:43
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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he should want to extract the child from such a terrible fate, or better yet, not have a child who would be subject to the whims of such a person
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Oct 8, 2019 20:44
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- Xombie
- May 22, 2004
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Soul Thrashing
Black Sorcery
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Did.. did you not read the quote I posted? It's essentially implying that he's okay with having a kid with this woman because it's going to divert her attention away from him
That isn't at all what the quote you posted said. Also, she's already pregnant. It doesn't matter if he's OK with it not.
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Oct 8, 2019 20:45
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- new boot goofin
- Jul 23, 2007
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like school in july
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Like I said, he's a huge idiot for knocking her up, but you can't expect him to be able to "extract" the child from its mother.
It's called "divorce with full custody", which he would probably get if he could prove to the courts that she's fuckin certifiable. But he won't, so
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Oct 8, 2019 20:45
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- Mr. Fall Down Terror
- Jan 24, 2018
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by Fluffdaddy
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Like I said, he's a huge idiot for knocking her up, but you can't expect him to be able to "extract" the child from its mother.
he could take some kind of positive action, like a divorce and shared custody, rather than just laying in a pit of his own misery and allowing completely innocent new people to be brought into such a terrible relationship
it's not like having a kid with a person you hate is any less work than having a kid on your own
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Oct 8, 2019 20:46
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- new boot goofin
- Jul 23, 2007
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like school in july
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That isn't at all what the quote you posted said. Also, she's already pregnant. It doesn't matter if he's OK with it not.
I guess I just interpreted it differently based on his other replies in the original thread, that's my bad. However you are 100% correct on the second count
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Oct 8, 2019 20:47
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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he could take some kind of positive action, like a divorce and shared custody, rather than just laying in a pit of his own misery and allowing completely innocent new people to be brought into such a terrible relationship
it's not like having a kid with a person you hate is any less work than having a kid on your own
well, depends how much you care about the kid tbh, its much less work if you leave them to be raised by the person you hate because you don't care what happens to your child
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Oct 8, 2019 20:47
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- Xombie
- May 22, 2004
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Soul Thrashing
Black Sorcery
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Aitah for wanted a zelda theamed wedding.
Hey so short unformated story from a dislexic. My fiance abd i are planning on getting married october 10th 2020. (Next year) When we were sitting around thinking of theams i was really excited for a legend of zelda theamed wedding. I had my heart set on it for months. We are broke so it wasnt like we could have the wedding at a ocean beach or something like that. He hadnt seemed to thrilled in planning the wrdding until Just a few days ago my fiance came to me and said he would rather a steven universe theam. To be fair it was something we had bonded on the night he asked me out. I dont want to be a bridezilla but its the first time he seemed genuenly intrested in planning the wedding. Im i an rear end whole? Its suposed to be our day. I though of maybe a combo of stevsn and cony wedding but their theam being zelda... But that just doesnt work for me... What do i do?
There's an absurd amount of "memorable" dates on Saturdays next year. Pi Day, Halloween, Independence Day, Leap Day... not to mention 2/2, 6/6, 8/8, and 10/10 all in 2020. Every weirdo is getting married.
Xombie fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Oct 8, 2019
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Oct 8, 2019 20:51
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- HIJK
- Nov 25, 2012
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in the room where you sleep
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Aitah for wanted a zelda theamed wedding.
Hey so short unformated story from a dislexic. My fiance abd i are planning on getting married october 10th 2020. (Next year) When we were sitting around thinking of theams i was really excited for a legend of zelda theamed wedding. I had my heart set on it for months. We are broke so it wasnt like we could have the wedding at a ocean beach or something like that. He hadnt seemed to thrilled in planning the wrdding until Just a few days ago my fiance came to me and said he would rather a steven universe theam. To be fair it was something we had bonded on the night he asked me out. I dont want to be a bridezilla but its the first time he seemed genuenly intrested in planning the wedding. Im i an rear end whole? Its suposed to be our day. I though of maybe a combo of stevsn and cony wedding but their theam being zelda... But that just doesnt work for me... What do i do?
Could this open them to copyright problems with Nintendo?
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Oct 8, 2019 20:51
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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He's already hosed up by getting the woman pregnant. Unfortunately that kid is gonna have a lovely mom and be hosed up anyway.
My wife's mom married a POS after she divorced my wife's dad and had a kid. My wife's half-sister has a horribly lovely dad, and even though my MIL had full custody, it still sucked for my SIL.
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Oct 8, 2019 20:56
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- Mr. Fall Down Terror
- Jan 24, 2018
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by Fluffdaddy
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He's already hosed up by getting the woman pregnant. Unfortunately that kid is gonna have a lovely mom and be hosed up anyway.
My wife's mom married a POS after she divorced my wife's dad and had a kid. My wife's half-sister has a horribly lovely dad, and even though my MIL had full custody, it still sucked for my SIL.
fella could at some point take some agency over his own life and make some decisions that could materially improve his situation, but instead he'd rather preemptively George Costanza his unborn
"man, i can't deal with this fuckin woman. you hear that in there, fetus? i'm counting on you to take up the slack!"
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Oct 8, 2019 21:00
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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There's this woman I can't stand, so naturally I had unprotected sex with her...
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Oct 8, 2019 21:02
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- new boot goofin
- Jul 23, 2007
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like school in july
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Sorry for cluttering up the thread with ~mY oPiNiOnS~, here's some horrifying content featuring gay anime catboys, thanks and god bless
My [24M] boyfriend [27M] has turned into an anime character and I'm not sure what to do anymore.(self.relationship_advice)
quote:
Hi lovely people. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. You know the drill. I tried posting this on r/relationships but apparently the mods there said it was inappropriate. So I am trying my luck here for guidance.
I've been with this guy for 3 years and I moved into his apartment some time last year. I love him to bits but lately I've been thinking about packing my things and leaving.
My boyfriend has always been a boisterous type and he's a turbo nerd. He loves his superheroes, anime, gaming, you name it. Whenever we watch anything, especially anime, he'll talk through the whole thing often criticizing the relationships the writers made for the characters, talk about his "one true pairings," and he'll express how certain set pieces in the story make him feel. I'm not into it really but I'll take time to watch it with him because he makes it rather entertaining and I support his hobbies and interests. He'll wear his emotions on his sleeve too. He has no problem laughing, cheering, and crying over what's going on and I love him for that. I love all of him for that. But lately that's all changed and he's no longer the person I once loved anymore.
About 7 months ago we binge watched an anime called "Loveless" based on a recommendation by his friend. It was decent, albeit incredibly hosed up and depressing. The show tackles sex, abuse, memory loss, psychotic breaks, broken homes, love being equal to pain, that sort of poo poo. However I was moreso shocked that my boyfriend was completely quiet and focused the entire time. He was also quiet the rest of the day. It bled into the next morning too... And even for a few days. He wouldn't really speak or express any kind of emotion. I tried asking him what was up with him and even he didn't know. I thought maybe the show was too much for him and he was still trying to process it. So I paid it no mind and hoped it'd clear up soon.
After about 2 weeks he somewhat returned to normal but he wasn't really all that there. It seemed like he was trying to force his boisterous personality rather than it coming naturally to him. Throughout the next few weeks I'd find him quietly sitting at his PC either playing games or looking at websites and watching videos. I was getting really worried about him. He also picked up the Loveless books and read them. However he would need to take breaks in between each book because each time he finished one he'd be out of it again for a few hours or a day. This type of behavior was way out of character for him. This went on for about 2 months until he finished the last book he had.
Then, one day, a breakthrough happened but not what I expected at all. He began having a soft smile on his face pretty much 24/7. His voice and speech were soft, calming and often times philosophical in nature. He would stare at pretty much everything just admiring it, smile and all, as if he was just high on life and enjoying every little aspect of it. He was a lot more gentle with me when we had sex or being intimate often treating me like a delicate flower that he cherished so much. It was weird. Gone were the days of ups and downs and varying degrees of loud. It made me bitter but I'd be lying if I said he didn't look content and at peace. So I bit my lip.
At least for a little bit. I missed the man I once knew. I asked him what is going on with him. Normally confronting him about something would make him squirm. Instead he looked away and smiled, blushing a little, and admitted he owed me an explanation. He took me to his PC and he showed me all these blogs and websites he's favorited talking about otherkin and the different kinds of otherkin that there are. That's when he dropped the bomb on me.
He is fictionkin to Soubi; one of the main characters from Loveless. Meaning he thinks he is Soubi's reincarnation. He believes he IS Soubi.
I didn't know what to make of it at first. It sounded to utterly ridiculous and it is. How can you be the reincarnation of something that isn't real? A thing some writer or writers made up in their head? A piece of fiction. Yet, like I said before, he seemed much happier. He said Soubi resonates within him at a level that shakes him to his very core. He explained that the show made him have his awakening. He says he has Soubi's memories and has flashbacks of Soubi's childhood and such. So I accepted it and told him I'd love him regardless. He was happy with that.
I spent time getting used to the new adjustments I had to make. He's very happy that he can be "himself" around me more. But things got weirder and weirder. He wanted me to start calling him Soubi when we were at home over his real name. Fine, whatever, then he'd start casually calling me Ritsuka, the other main character, or some type of cutesy variation like Ritsy or his Sacrifice (another thing related to the show). He even wanted me to roleplay as Ritsuka in bed which is... really unsettling because Ritsuka is 12 years old (I told you the anime is hosed up. And yes, the characters are romantically involved in the anime too). He even bought me a cat ear headband so he could "finally take my ears." For context, in the show people are born with random animal ears and tails. They are supposed to represent innocence and virginity. When the character finally has sex in this world they lose the animal parts. I'll admit the roleplay was kind of hot but... gently caress I don't know.
Then he started getting more obsessed with it. He grew out his blonde hair so it could be more like Soubi's. He bought every piece of clothing he could find to mimic all the ones he's seen Soubi wear in the show and books. He even bought a fake pair of glasses that looked like Soubi's. He began taking up art like Soubi does (which he's loving awful at by the way). He even wants to get a tattoo of the word "LOVELESS" across his upper chest like Soubi has carved and scared into his. I'm SO glad he wants a tattoo but I'm scared it's going to evolve into him taking a knife and carving it into his chest like Soubi did. I'm no longer dating my boyfriend. I'm 100% dating Soubi in terms of looks and personality and I can't stand it. It's absolutely destroying me little by little each day. I don't want to leave but, gently caress, I just want my boyfriend back.
Problem is... I feel like a selfish rear end in a top hat. He's so much happier and this change seems to be less obsessive and more healthy in nature. He's a lot more outgoing now, he goes to social events, charity events, he has more friends, has been excelling at work and he's even being considered for a promotion, he's been losing weight and toning up, eating better... I don't know what to do. I don't want to ask him to change for my sake but all seems so crazy and unhealthy and yet I'm the one falling apart while he's living life without a care in the world.
When I did make the post on r/relationships people suggested he may be associating this with trauma he my have had in his childhood and he may be using this fictionkin thing to try and move past it in some way. Others suggested that this is dangerous and could lead to a much more dangerous path. Some also suggested I should try and convince him to seek therapy which I don't know how I'd do it since he believes he is truly fine and happy. Someone else suggested maybe he needs to just ride it out and it's a face. However because it was removed so quickly I wasn't able to get a general consensus on what might be best. I just feel like an enabler now since I didn't bat an eye.
What do I do, Reddit? I miss my boyfriend.
tl;dr My boyfriend thinks he is the reincarnation of an anime character and has changed completely to the point he is this anime character and has been using it to improve his life significantly while I'm falling apart because I miss the man I fell in love with.
UPDATE: My [24M] boyfriend [27M] has turned into an anime character and I'm not sure what to do anymore.
quote:
Original post for context: https://removeddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/dbcfke/my_24m_boyfriend_27m_has_turned_into_an_anime
Saying the last couple of days was wild would be an understatement. That same day I made the original thread I stuck true to my word and talked to him about this during dinner. I made his favorite in order to ease the blow but I essentially came at him with the most blunt but nice way I could put it (thanks to the help of you lovely people). I basically told him that I'm happy that his life has improved drastically since this change but I really do miss who I originally fell in love with and I wasn't sure I could keep this charade up. There was a lot of crying from myself only and he kept his cool and composure as Soubi would. In all honesty it made me more upset. Our fights, although rare, would sometimes turn into a shouting match because he'd usually get really upset and fire back at me. Now he's calm, gentle, understanding, and it progressively upset me more and more. Yet he continued comforting me which only made it worse. It's weird how you when you love someone you even miss the bad parts about them when they go away.
After a while I calmed down. The two biggest takeaways from the conversation were that even if he found someone who was fictionkin to Ritsuka he wouldn't leave me for them because that was another life and, in this life, he has me now. This is important later. The second was that he himself felt that all his life he was putting on a mask and only behaving as people expected him to; including me. He claims he never really felt 100% truly comfortable in his own skin and this awakening was like a switch that needed to be turned on and now he feels like himself for the first time in his entire life. He then told me he understands that I signed up to date the man I fell in love with not Soubi and he wouldn't blame me for leaving.
I couldn't blame him either. The truth is I know what that feels like. I was raised a very sheltered life and didn't really have a personality because of it. I only started coming out of my shell during my college years when I moved out of state to live on my own. I still find the fact it took a cartoon for this to finally make him realize it really concerning and I still didn't like that it was such a drastic change and I worry about his mental health. He assures me he is fine. I slept on it and I felt moderately better the next day. I decided at that point I was going to just try and change my perspective and adjust to this life. I love the guy. I want to at least try and make it work.
Over the next few days my distain for this Soubi thing died down. I was starting to feel attracted to him again. I started really liking how sweet and soothing he'd become. I'd get twinges of missing the old him here and there but as days went on it definitely became easier to move on from them now and focus on my new life now.
Then... Sunday night happened.
On Saturday afternoon he came home work and told me that he'd like me to meet some of his new friends that he's made over the last several months. He told me that a lot of them are just like him. They are kin to some type of animal, spirit, fictional character or they're transgender and it's like a support group in a way. It was a lot to throw at me but I decided, hey, I might as well see these other people like him so I can understand their culture better. He was happy and immediately got on his phone to message the discord group they have. The plan was to have people over tomorrow night for dinner and he wanted to cook.
Sunday rolls around and he told me that only one of them can make it. No big deal. I played a little bit of Spyro as he cooked. His guest finally showed up sometime during the evening and I went to answer the door. The person I see before me is this really young... how can I put this. They were somewhat of an androgynous mess. I couldn't tell if they were a boy or a girl. They were this weird in-between. I later found out they were a female to male transgender man so, for the sake of making this easier, I'll be referring to them as male. He makes no eye contact with me when I open the door. He's glancing to the side clearly way too shy to even look in my general direction. I ask him his name and mumbles it. I didn't ask again and just invited him in. My boyfriend greets him with... a pat on the head. Weird. This guy just stands idlely leaning on the banister in the hallway still looking like he hates being here. Also weird. I invited him to come sit on the couch with me and play Spyro while my boyfriend finishes cooking. He sat down and said nothing just watching the screen as I played. I offered him the controller but he brushed it off. He just watched and nothing more. He didn't even pull out a cellphone or anything like most kids his age would do. I mean, hell, I'm in my mid 20s and I'm addicted to my phone.
My boyfriend finished cooking and we all sat down to eat. His guest would not talk to me at all, but every time he spoke to him he would illicit some type of response from his guest. What bothered me was how flirtatious it all seemed. My boyfriend would make remarks like, "You'd be even cuter if you smiled more," or how he would love for him more lively like he is when they hang out. His guest didn't really say anything but his face would often say it all. It was a mixed bag of embarrassment but liking it at the same time. I was confused and I felt really uncomfortable. He tried to encourage his guest to talk to me and tell me about himself but he wouldn't say anything other than what high school they were going to. Yes, high school. First red flag.
After dinner we decided to sit on the couch and watch a movie together. I sat next to boyfriend, obviously, but his guest sat next to him on the other side and I don't mean just casually sitting next to him. I mean he was as close as I was with their hips touching. Second red flag. As I was fidgeting with the menus my boyfriend was trying to comfort his guest. He was talking to him about how he shouldn't be afraid of me, that he can relax in our home, and was petting his head and stroking his hair. Third red flag. I was really not liking this at all and getting increasingly more upset. I went to grab my phone to distract myself and that's when I noticed that my boyfriend was holding his guest's hand and was gliding his thumb on the back of this dude's hand!
I flipped. And when I say I flipped I mean I legitimately got up and yelled, "WHAT THE gently caress ARE YOU DOING?!" My boyfriend sighed. He said he was hoping me and his guest could have hit it off better but it was clear his guest wasn't "ready." What kind of loving response is that?! I was fuming. I said I didn't care about that and wanted to know why he was flirting with an underage kid much less with anyone other than me! His guest bolted out the door by this point. My boyfriend stood up, faced me, but kept his eyes looking at the floor apologizing, saying he had this whole idea planned out and asked me to calm down so he could explain it. I put on a mask and pretended I calmed down but I was still loving furious.
Apparently this guest of his, this 17 year old female to male transgender kid, was someone from his friendship circle that is fictionkin to Ritsuka; Soubi's 12 year old lover from the anime. There was never any intention of seeing anyone else; at least not yet. His plan was to get me to hit it off with this loving kid, have a few more get togethers done, and he would then propose the idea of starting a polyamorous relationship with him, me and my boyfriend once I grew closer to the kid so I'd be more open to it. I felt loving sick to my stomach. All I could see was red. I was screaming and yelling at my boyfriend for lying to me about his true intentions, that even if I were okay with poly the kid is underage, and he's sick for grooming a child like that.
In his defense he did apologize for trying to trick me. However he started making excuses saying he wasn't grooming the kid, he was expressing the same love he always gave Ritsuka, the same love he gave Semei (Soubi's original lover in the anime) that Semei told him to give Ritsuka should anything happen to him, and he would never take advantage of him and would wait until he is ready, that he was turning 18 soon anyway, etc. I told him that's not okay. He's late 20s and shouldn't be trying to date loving high schoolers! He had the audacity to say that age is just a number and I drat near put my hand through a loving wall... I'm sorry. I'm getting way too angry remembering all this. But I don't want to rewrite it. I had take a few deep breaths to finally get even close to speaking levels again. I then asked him what happened to the whole, "You'd never leave me for a Ritsuka fictionkin" thing. He assured me again he still wouldn't ultimately leave me for someone else but reminded me about the other day when he told me that he still misses Ritsuka and he thought maybe we could all be together.
He wanted the best of both worlds. I feel betrayed and manipulated. The more and more I replay what happened the more I begin to suspect the people who claimed he was abusing me were right. It's a repeated pattern too. He kept me in the dark about his whole Soubi transformation and now this? I went upstairs, packed up a duffle bag with some essentials, and left the house, got in my car, and made the 18 hour trip to my parent's house. He never once tried to stop me. I think he understands the gravity of what he did. The only thing I got from him was a text message saying he was sorry. When I got to my parent's house I gave them the cliff notes version; Something happened, I haven't slept since Saturday night, and I need to crash. It's 7:30 am and I'm now mustering up the courage to get out of bed tell my folks everything that happened.
I've calmed down after sleeping but I still don't know what I'm going to do. In all honesty I may not even provide another update. Doing this was more of a cathartic thing than it was seeking for advice and because I was asked to make an update.
Thank you for all of those who gave me such helpful advice. I think I'm going to just move on, break up with him, and find someone who isn't loving deranged. I love you all. I wish you all good health and happiness in your futures.
Signing off.
Edit: Firstly thank you guys for all your support. Secondly I only wanted to make this update to state I will be notifying the local authorities once I go back to get my stuff from his house. I don't know when that will be as I need space but I definitely will.
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Oct 8, 2019 21:07
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Sorry for cluttering up the thread with ~mY oPiNiOnS~, here's some horrifying content featuring gay anime catboys, thanks and god bless
My [24M] boyfriend [27M] has turned into an anime character and I'm not sure what to do anymore.(self.relationship_advice)
UPDATE: My [24M] boyfriend [27M] has turned into an anime character and I'm not sure what to do anymore.
God drat
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Oct 8, 2019 21:14
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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Dino Dude came clean with an apology e-mail to everyone involved, he had been indulging in the dino kink with a prodomme for a few years and when his old one retired, he found a newbie who wasn't as technically skilled and they apparently introduced some blackmail elements without having a lot of safety checks in place.
the dude states that he's seeking treatment for his paraphilia and will be taking a leave of absence from work.
meanwhile my wife is telling me that there were rumors about this dude being a frequent guest at area dungeons and fetish meetups.
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Oct 8, 2019 21:15
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- new boot goofin
- Jul 23, 2007
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like school in july
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i know right I hadn't thought about Loveless for like 15 years, it was like some kind of horrifying memory dredged from the murky depths
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Oct 8, 2019 21:16
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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i know right I hadn't thought about Loveless for like 15 years, it was like some kind of horrifying memory dredged from the murky depths
i was sort of out of anime stuff by then but still was in enough proximity to get the "stay the gently caress away from Loveless and anyone who likes it  " memo . Heeby jeebies
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Oct 8, 2019 21:22
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- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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Sorry for cluttering up the thread with ~mY oPiNiOnS~, here's some horrifying content featuring gay anime catboys, thanks and god bless
My [24M] boyfriend [27M] has turned into an anime character and I'm not sure what to do anymore.(self.relationship_advice)
UPDATE: My [24M] boyfriend [27M] has turned into an anime character and I'm not sure what to do anymore.
I haven’t run into fictionkin stuff like this in years. I need more updates ASAP, I love that whacky bullshit.
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Oct 8, 2019 22:02
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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My family doesn't believe in allergies
quote:Dear Care and Feeding,
I am a parent to a severely allergic child. His allergies include common ingredients like dairy, peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame. I am anxious all the time because he is still a toddler and puts things in his mouth regularly. I watch him closely, and monitor ingredients and allergy statements, and assess risk of cross contamination for everything he eats. If he ingests these allergens he will go into anaphylaxis, and I learned this the hard way.
Unfortunately, my family is very old-school and dismisses my concerns. I go so far as to email allergy action plans from the doctor so they can take it seriously but they don’t, partly because my parents don’t read English and partly because my sister is dismissive and is convinced I am exaggerating. I cannot count the number of eye-rolls when I explain what he can and cannot eat, and offer to bring his food to family dinners. (I do this because my parents cannot read food labels.)
I now feel that whenever I try to explain things to my parents, they tell my sister, who in turn sends me nasty emails saying how horrible I am not trusting our parents with my child. I feel like my family is turning against me, but I refuse to put my son’s safety at risk because they refuse to take me seriously. I feel like I’m going to lose it on them soon and need advice for how to proceed. Can you help?
—Don’t Want to Be the Peanut Police
quote: Dear DWtBtPP,
I am terribly sorry. I know firsthand that it’s incredibly stressful to parent a child with a serious food allergy, and it sounds to me like you are doing a great job.
Science does not depend upon our belief. I can understand why you’d want to respect your parents’ authority, but anaphylaxis doesn’t give a poo poo if your parents are “old-school.” You have tried to make your family understand how important this is; that they do not is their failing and not yours.
You rightly refuse to put your son’s safety at risk. If I were you, I would take “losing it” off the table because that would accomplish nothing. If your family refuses to take you seriously, try simply allowing them to not take you seriously. Let them mock you as overprotective; let them talk about how nutty you are.
I’m not saying this won’t be hurtful, but it will be infinitely more tolerable than something happening to your son through his grandparents’ neglect. I would continue to remind your family of your son’s dietary needs as often as necessary. I would bring food (and utensils or whatever else will set your mind at ease) to family get-togethers. Furthermore, I would decline to leave your son with his grandparents or his aunt unattended by you.
Perhaps this will help them see you’re absolutely serious about your son’s dietary needs. Perhaps you will continue to get nasty emails from your sister. Perhaps there will come a time when you won’t feel bothered by your family’s ridiculous treatment of you and your son. I don’t think you can win this battle, but maybe declining to fight it will start to feel like a victory. I’m really sorry for this, but hang in there.
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Oct 8, 2019 22:09
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- The Bramble
- Mar 16, 2004
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Trolling: not even once.
My wife’s internet posting got me fired
quote:Hey r/relationships, I’m honestly at a loss of what to even think about this situation so I could use some advice. Sorry for the throwaway, but as you read the story, it will be fairly clear why I’d rather not have my real account attached to this. My (M32) wife (28) of three years has been living some sort of on-line double life that came crashing down today and I don’t think I can ever look at her the same way again. It’s going to take a bit of background, so buckle up. I was called into my boss’s office yesterday and presented with a printout of my reddit post history with a ton of posts highlighted. Nothing problematic, but a lot of them were made on company time, so I was let go from my position immediately. I have only ever posted on my phone using data, never the company wifi, so I was stunned how they would even know what my account was or what I was doing. I was too shocked to even ask further questions, I just packed up my stuff and got out of there.
I got home from work and immediately told my wife what happened, and she looked like she was caught in the middle of committing murder. I asked her what was wrong and tried to assure her we’d be ok, my savings could carry us through until I find more work. She’s a SAHM with our 2 year old daughter, so I assumed she was frightened for our future. I was honestly expecting her to yell at me a bit for getting fired over something so stupid, but she pretty much just stayed silent. She was still acting weird as we were getting ready for bed, so I asked her what was wrong again. She says it’s her fault and immediately breaks down sobbing. I had no idea what she was talking about. After trying to calm her down, she tells me its her fault my post history was sent to my boss. She tells me it’s from an “internet fight on reddit” she’s been involved in. I don’t know what this means so I make her sit down and explain all of this. This is where things get weird and I’m still not even sure about all of it.
About two years ago, my wife started participating in some subreddit about a blog she liked. As time went on, she got more and more involved. She also began posting antagonistically toward other frequent users. Eventually, she was banned a few months ago. She then joined a discord server about that same blog and began trying to get revenge on the users she had arguments with in the past on the subreddit. She created multiple burner accounts to spam the subreddit and to report other users to try to get them banned. I still don’t know how all of this worked, I just use reddit for a few sports subs so I’m not too familiar with all of this. People on the subreddit started making fun of her for all of her trolling attempts, so she started doxing them. I’ve seen the posts and messages. Full-on doxing, names, personal info. Messages that she’ll send it to their family or work. Long story short, she was doxxed in retaliation, which somehow ended up with me doxxed and the situation I’m in today.
She’s always been a normal girl, she’s the love of my life and the mother of my child, but she’s an insane person on the internet. Looking at some of this poo poo and hearing her talk about it like its completely normal, it’s like I’ve never even met this person before. Please just help me figure out what I should be doing moving forward. I already printed out a lot of the posts and am with my daughter at my parents house for the night.
TL:DR: I got fired from my job for reddit posts. When I told my wife about it she revealed she has been posting under numerous accounts in a specific subreddit and has doxxed numerous people over a period of two years, and this is what got me fired.
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Oct 8, 2019 22:34
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 30, 2024 21:56
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Trolling: not even once.
My wife’s internet posting got me fired
Lol well poo poo
Not sure there is much coming back from that haha
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Oct 8, 2019 22:43
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Oct 8, 2019 20:29
