Absurd Alhazred posted:

A spotted dick-waving contest.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

A spotted dick-waving contest.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Literally a tempest in a teapot, what ho!

RFC2324 posted:

Omg I don't think anyone else got this

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I presume this is a documentary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9QSdLDGt7I

Dameius posted:

I got it, and it's good, but dicks take the day.

Doc Hawkins posted:

i'm not saying you're farting wrong, just that many people don't do it that way

T-man posted:

feed your child only acidic juices and honey, if they survive they will have the weirdest palette

Brawnfire posted:

My baby enjoyed only the finest of meads

Pentaro posted:

In the Mexican dub, they changed these guys to be Basque separatists. I assume the joke still works.

Pentaro posted:

In the Mexican dub, they changed these guys to be Basque separatists. I assume the joke still works.

Linux Pirate posted:

lofi posted:

The Little Thalidomaid.

Pentaro posted:

In the Mexican dub, they changed these guys to be Basque separatists. I assume the joke still works.

DandyLion posted:

My 2 year old was playing with one of those rubber chew-bead necklaces last month in the middle of the kitchen. It was disconnected (they have a quick release latch so kids can get strangled by them) and therefore just a 3' rubber beaded line he was whipping around like a lasso over his head while I was in the kitchen making him dinner. As I turned from the stove where the spaghetti sauce was heating to the sink on the other side of the kitchen, he whips the necklace full strength and speed, and the plastic half-cap that is the quick release latch catches me in the balls. I have been kicked in the nuts before, and have suffered other impacts where the reaction was typically extreme pain/nausea for 5ish minutes followed by a dull ache for the rest of the day. This was not that. In an instant my world exploded in a blast of the brightest white light I have ever seen (this is before any physical sensations had registered in my brain), and I'm genuinely befuddled, unable to process not only whats just happened, but even simple things like who am I and what am I doing holding this ladle of spaghetti sauce in the kitchen. I bellow a hoot of rage/pain/surprise which I'm sure scared the hell out of the little guy, then my vision tunnels and my world goes black.

I awake about 2 minutes later on the kitchen floor, ladle of sauce poured out neatly over my chest/neck. Its at this point that the more traditional reactions start to set in, and I realize I'm on the floor and have been hit in the nuts. As I'm slowly processing all this I can hear my 2 year-old upstairs imploring his siblings not to come downstairs because daddy's resting.....


So, in summation, I feel semi-qualified to say that there are undiscovered magnitudes most are unaware of when it comes to genital trauma....

chitoryu12 posted:

Yoshi Wins posted:

what kind of deranged loving weirdo would not laugh at that

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Yeah, that's hilarious.

MizPiz posted:

Someone who takes "making your cum taste good" seriously

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

YES, CHEF!

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Thanks Incel for the first post I've out-loud laughed at for a while. Sorry Dandy for your lots.

RFC2324 posted:

Someone do a dramatic reading


Preferably in a chipmunk voice

Inceltown posted:

The forums should be celebrated for being what it is. We're generally older now but getting hit in the nuts in novel ways is timeless. The internet may make you stupid but getting hit in the nuts WILL make you funny for a moment.

RFC2324 posted:

I can think of literally no other reason funniest home videos still exists 30 years later

razorrozar posted:

quote:

Crotch kicks, anyone?

Busket Posket posted:

I’m glad that, in these last days of humanity, I get to spend so much time posting with goons. It’ll be like the band on the Titanic but shitposting instead of music.

queserasera posted:

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

what if we put our money together to launch a satellite with a golden record of loss memes

some aliens can find it millions of years after we're gone, and try to learn what message could be so important to inscribe and send across the cosmos

Phy posted:

We'd better make sure to tell them that yes, while we did destroy our biosphere, a glittering precious jewel in an infinite lifeless cosmos, we weren't complete monsters, and we did let that cat eventually has cheezburger

FactsAreUseless posted:

"Wow," said Garfield. "I didn't think anyone would be able to eat more sperm than me, the large cat Garfield, but you did it Kirby."

Harry Potter hung his head in shame. He had eaten very little sperm.

Syd Midnight posted:

apropos of nothing I want to share this result of feeding a @dril tweet to the GPT-2 text generator. I know theres already a thread for it but jfc im dying here

quote:

koko the talking ape.. has been living high on the hog, wasting our tax dollars on high capacity diapers. No more. i will suplex that beast, and the best way to kill a gorilla is by sticking your head up its rear end and then using a tooth hammer to poke it in the eye. It's not easy.

so i just got a message to tell you that koko has finally been made to see that it's OK for apes to be proud for what they do. to love themselves. and that it's okay for us all to have sex with animals. yes we can. koko and the gorillas are getting their act together. we may feel like we can do it too. that's okay. they have it in them to be good girls and boys. i can't speak for them, but it's my belief (and yours) that the greatest gift a human child can have is sex with a gorilla. sex with a gorilla is a treat. sex with a monkey is not. we are a different species. monkeys are not going to marry gorillas. at least not for sex and love. but koko and gorillas deserve both.

we should have sex with gorillas. we should have respect for them. we could do worse. sex with a gorilla is a beautiful thing. it is the best gift a child can have. we should give it to them. we should give it to all kinds of animals. we should give it to ourselves. we have a moral duty and we should take it. if we do not we are morally worthless.

barbecue at the folks posted:

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

Morally worthless maybe, but morally inept definitely.

Hihohe posted:

Im very certain that my last act on this earth before the apocalypse will be me posting a Loss.jpg edit about the situation. I will sensibly chuckle before i am vaporized in nuclear fire.