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DragQueenofAngmar posted:preppers are funny because it’s incredible that they don’t realize the super obvious fact that surviving as a lone wolf in an apocalypse is impossible unless you’re nomadic, and almost certainly impossible even then. “I’ll hunt for my food!” okay, and also drag the carcass back home, butcher, clean and salt/smoke it. meanwhile, run a functional subsistence farm, potentially keep chickens or goats (haha hunting when we have already killed 65% of all wildlife) learn how to can veggies safely, cook all of your meals, do all house/property repairs, burying/disposal of human waste, learn field medicine, herbology, and how to make simple remedies or disinfectants; find a stable source of clean water (loooooool), potentially use it to irrigate your farm, give up your vices or learn to make/grow them, adjust to lack of all passive entertainment save written material, loss of all forms of medication both physical and psychiatric, etc etc. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lA3T78o9pY
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Oct 20, 2019 01:17
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| # ? May 22, 2024 06:21 |
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:preppers are funny because it’s incredible that they don’t realize the super obvious fact that surviving as a lone wolf in an apocalypse is impossible unless you’re nomadic, and almost certainly impossible even then. “I’ll hunt for my food!” okay, and also drag the carcass back home, butcher, clean and salt/smoke it. meanwhile, run a functional subsistence farm, potentially keep chickens or goats (haha hunting when we have already killed 65% of all wildlife) learn how to can veggies safely, cook all of your meals, do all house/property repairs, burying/disposal of human waste, learn field medicine, herbology, and how to make simple remedies or disinfectants; find a stable source of clean water (loooooool), potentially use it to irrigate your farm, give up your vices or learn to make/grow them, adjust to lack of all passive entertainment save written material, loss of all forms of medication both physical and psychiatric, etc etc. they're setting up loot crates for roving mad max tribes, complete with skeletons doing the work of environmental storytelling
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Oct 20, 2019 01:24
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Don't forget these gems from the Doomsday Preppers show. God that was a thing of beauty. Dude fires a rifle inside a duck blind and temporarily loses hearing and gets a little concussed. Proceeds to cry and nearly have a total breakdown on TV. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHOog45llUU He was possibly beaten by the guy who shot off part of his thumb because he didn't actually know how to hold a gun but decided to show off for the cameras anyway. Honorable mention to the overweight, diabetic woman who planned to eat cheesecake throughout the apocalypse and somehow survive in a world where insulin is effectively impossible to produce. Also she didn't know how eggs worked. She thought that eggs were fine to store long term after dipping them in oil as long as you didn't wash them. Which is a little true, except she was buying regular pre-washed eggs in the supermarket and therefore filling a basement up with jars of rotten eggs. There were a few hover-round brigade people who didn't seem to understand that you'd need to be in shape to survive. Also a total monster who explained that his plan was to set up a horror movie plot where he made his house look well-stocked and abandoned to draw people in, and that he'd pop out of trap doors to murder them in their sleep and take their stuff.
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Oct 20, 2019 02:27
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all I remember of it was the episode with the professional bunker-maker dealing with a client whose secret apocalypse bunker hidden from the hordes in an anonymous patch of woods kept getting looted by methheads, so to tide it over until the bombs started falling and the guy was there to defend it himself they rigged up some astoundingly illegal robotic gun turrets to murder anything that moved near that patch of the woods
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Oct 20, 2019 02:33
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i had a hard time trying to watch doomsday preppers because they inevitably relax into explaining exactly what scenario they're prepping for and the editors never completely cut out their awful awful politics that their families suffer under
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Oct 20, 2019 02:50
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I'm just a person who cooks food to eat and has shot enough to understand how pistols, rifles, and shotguns work. is this a show where the producers give them crates of firearms, ammo, and eggs and tell them good luck? what the gently caress are these people doing?
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Oct 20, 2019 02:56
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Eat This Glob posted:is this a show where the producers give them crates of firearms, ammo, and eggs and tell them good luck? what the gently caress are these people doing? as good a summary of America as any
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Oct 20, 2019 02:59
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:as good a summary of America as any lol true
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Oct 20, 2019 03:04
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Parakeet vs. Phone posted:Don't forget these gems from the Doomsday Preppers show. God that was a thing of beauty. Where the gently caress was the dud's ear protection? Looks like he was wearing earmuffs and using his hand  No poo poo you're gonna feel sick if you don't have decent ear protection you fat wuss. Vincent Van Goatse has issued a correction as of 03:07 on Oct 20, 2019 |
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Oct 20, 2019 03:05
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there's one where a guy out on some island on the alaskan coast is prepping his household for a tsunami and also the end of civilization he starts off by showing how he welds steel tubes closed filled with ammo and poo poo and then anchors them nearby, bragging to the cameraman about how undetectable of a cache this is then he drags his wife and teenaged daughter out to do "shock and awe" drills by having everyone mag dump from the family MRAP that they presumably saved up for years to purchase surplus. they don't quite edit out all of the daughter's eyerolls that ep never gets around to explaining how this is meant to help this family survive a tsunami, though it does mention that yes this is a somewhat common danger in that part of alaska. it's probably still on netflix if you wanna laugh at them, it's frankly one of the less cringy ones
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Oct 20, 2019 03:06
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the segment of the show where they grade the preppers with some totally arbitrary number scores is some Tim and Eric or adultswim style poo poo I tell you
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Oct 20, 2019 03:15
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Parakeet vs. Phone posted:Also a total monster who explained that his plan was to set up a horror movie plot where he made his house look well-stocked and abandoned to draw people in, and that he'd pop out of trap doors to murder them in their sleep and take their stuff. Landowners seem to have a shared fetish of setting up traps for the have-nots 
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Oct 20, 2019 03:40
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I ran to a couple of people like this in Utah, and I always point answer them that the amount of things you need to do to survive, just basic poo poo like getting food shelter and water are significantly easier to solve in a community than on your own. Not to mention that if you're by yourself you're even more likely a target for some other Doomsday prepper lmao They usually just stop talking to me after that
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Oct 20, 2019 03:42
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Lil Peeler posted:I ran to a couple of people like this in Utah, and I always point answer them that the amount of things you need to do to survive, just basic poo poo like getting food shelter and water are significantly easier to solve in a community than on your own. Not to mention that if you're by yourself you're even more likely a target for some other Doomsday prepper lmao I think there was a single guy the show covered who was making it a big community project and the general consensus is that if anybody is going to ACTUALLY survive, it's probably those people that sort of person will always be the rare exception though because doomsday paranoia is basically what happens to your brain when you've internalized all the most corrupted things about capitalism like social atomization, Republican Jesus, the belief that the enemy after will be the same as the enemy now and that that enemy now is poor minorities and foreigners, etc etc whenever you find someone who is afflicted with all of these things, you can be sure they've got at least a bonus room filled to the brim with costco doomsday stuff
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Oct 20, 2019 03:47
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preppers are always funny cause theyd be better off just going to church and making friends, or at the very least just throwing a potluck or something. ironically the same thing applies to dumb rightwingers who want a trad-wife.
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Oct 20, 2019 04:14
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every now and then on preppers they come across a community reslience project or some hippies who want to create a self-sufficient hydroponics setup or whatever. they're a nice palette cleanser compared to the psycho fascists and the rich lawyers who want to show off how much they've spent on their murderous fantasies. the "rating" always comes down hard on the hippies because they don't have guns but they don't care, it's cool.
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Oct 20, 2019 04:35
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Parakeet vs. Phone posted:Don't forget these gems from the Doomsday Preppers show. God that was a thing of beauty. Also the lady who packed a bunch of condoms in her bug out bag for safe post apocalyptic boning
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Oct 20, 2019 06:36
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Epic High Five posted:I think there was a single guy the show covered who was making it a big community project and the general consensus is that if anybody is going to ACTUALLY survive, it's probably those people but really as the syrian civil war demonstrated, the institutions / settlements that do best are well-organized urban areas while people who get stuck out in the styx get turned into dog food
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Oct 20, 2019 06:45
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even though it's basically a cartoon i think dredd is probably more realistic than whatever these survivalist fantasies are about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbcoOqGKFi8&t=13s
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Oct 20, 2019 06:46
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i'm judge mcdonalds
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Oct 20, 2019 06:49
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:personally, i'm stocking up a "bug-in" bag filled with whiskey, cigarettes and wet wipes. gotta corner the market on the stuff everyone else forgot, which will allow me to thrive and survive in the wasteland. There's a lot of books about the Siege of Sarajevo that described the sort of people that did well in an apocalypse scenario, and what stood out to me was the guy who had a butane tank and the equipment to fill lighters with it He was never wanting for the stuff that everybody wanted, which wasn't silver bars but rather cooking oil and sanitation stuff and unconventional nonperishables because it took no time at all for people to get sick of whatever was most easily at hand Everybody had lighters and everybody needed fires, but it wasn't long before the lighters ran dry and without fire all the rest was irrelevant
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Oct 20, 2019 06:51
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The reason these real life stores aren't part of the prepper canon tho is because even the super prepared people were miserable and way worse off than they were before, and like every other time before it was the lone wolves who died first while big family groups and communities were able to see it through It's entirely antithetical to a liberal analysis, the notion that preparedness may include things that do not involve reckless consumption, and lacks a religious doomsday and race war narrative, so it's utterly incomprehensible to the petit bourgiouse hobbyists who make up these communities Reality doesn't have a narrative where they are the worshipping Kings of the world admired by all because they spent 300 bucks on peanut butter and generation equipment they don't know how to use, so it is rejected
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Oct 20, 2019 06:56
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I heard about a government collapse in Argentina I think where all the lone wolf types were the first to go and people who just stuck it out in their communities were pretty alright.
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Oct 20, 2019 07:29
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also what happened after the black plague wiped out up to two-thirds of the population of the scandinavian population communities of survivors banded together and loner weirdos and bandits were eliminated from the genepool
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Oct 20, 2019 07:52
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yeah weirdly enough it turns out being a social pack species that can communicate and work together incredibly effectively is one of the reasons humanity's made it this far. it's part of why it's always half lol half infuriating when those SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST NO KINDNESS ALPHA PACK people get any attention
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Oct 20, 2019 08:17
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Well the nice thing is that during the coming apocalypse we'll have a round of weeding it out lone wolves as well. Honestly I think part of the problem is Hollywood. It's movies and series of loner dudes and (very rarely) dudettes taking out scores and scores of people with little difficulty and fixing stuff by themselves. When you can't realise this is a fantasy the seed of prepping is born.
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Oct 20, 2019 09:02
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Epic High Five posted:I think there was a single guy the show covered who was making it a big community project and the general consensus is that if anybody is going to ACTUALLY survive, it's probably those people THis is basically how Switzerland works Epic High Five posted:There's a lot of books about the Siege of Sarajevo that described the sort of people that did well in an apocalypse scenario, and what stood out to me was the guy who had a butane tank and the equipment to fill lighters with it Would love one or two of those books
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Oct 20, 2019 12:00
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Also I remember a 4chan post where someones apocalypse plan was a generator and ipads loaded with pornography which I non-ironically think would be the best way to do it
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Oct 20, 2019 12:01
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but in general this is all pointless fantasy poo poo that bored middle class whites get up to so I can’t see why anyone cares
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Oct 20, 2019 12:04
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BrutalistMcDonalds posted:even though it's basically a cartoon i think dredd is probably more realistic than whatever these survivalist fantasies are about idiocracy is basically a documentary too
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Oct 20, 2019 13:32
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOH37W0jPpA
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Oct 20, 2019 14:41
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my apocalypse plan is to be the weed and whiskey guy. I will be indispensable. you can’t kill the person who knows how to build a still when there’s nowhere to post anymore!
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Oct 20, 2019 16:07
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:my apocalypse plan is to be the weed and whiskey guy. I will be indispensable. you can’t kill the person who knows how to build a still when there’s nowhere to post anymore! I loved how in Z Nation oxy pills are one of the forms of currency.
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Oct 20, 2019 16:07
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etalian posted:I loved how in Z Nation oxy pills are one of the forms of currency. realistic considering they're already a form of currency in most of the US
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Oct 20, 2019 18:51
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:my apocalypse plan is to be the weed and whiskey guy. I will be indispensable. you can’t kill the person who knows how to build a still when there’s nowhere to post anymore! You're gonna end up chained to your still by the warbiss, Jesse Pinkman style.
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Oct 20, 2019 19:10
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ill just poo poo my pants basically no different than today
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Oct 20, 2019 22:00
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Mr.Pibbleton posted:In the event of an apocalypse, I hope I get in on the ground floor of being dead as hell. 
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Oct 20, 2019 22:40
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my friends used to watch doomsday preppers and there was this "great" one with a group of pals making their own post-apoc compound and fantasising about shooting "thugs" or whatever. the very first thing they did was build a gallows because one of the guys was a huge psycho and wanted to instill discipline by hanging his friends if they stepped out of line, he'd appointed himself "justice marshall" or whatever of course, one of them complained and he called them a democrat until they shut up the guy with the gallows was this snidey little oval office who'd be the first to get accidentally shot in the head when the going got rough
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Oct 20, 2019 22:55
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jamal posted:How many abortions you think trump has forced women to get. More than 10? At least a couple fewer than he wanted to
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Oct 20, 2019 22:59
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we evolved to be social and have developed societies in direct response to our need to eliminate the problems you have by trying to be a lone nomad. preppers are just another flavor of hyper-regressive contrarians
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Oct 21, 2019 01:00
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