Power Khan posted:

"He's like a brother"

datajugend posted:

A tattoo of the ring from lord of the rings is pretty hosed up. a symbol of slavery and mass murder, the weapon of an evil dictator.

quote:

AITA for being peeved about the price of my anniversary "gifts"?
u/Thr0waway_0ver900014h
My s/o and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary this weekend. He let me know that my "gifts" weren't present at the time because he had them shipped to his mother's house. His area is not the best to have packages laying around. I had given him his gift 2 weeks back cause I'm horrible with surprises.

One of the "gifts" he got was a rom hacked NES cartridge. It was pretty evident that he got it for himself but I could play as well.

I was curious to know what the actual gift he got me was so I asked for a hint. He said it involved elephants. I asked if it was an elephant ring and he stayed quiet cause I figured it out. He knows their one of my favorite animals and knowing what the gift was doesn't ruin the surprise for me.

He proceeded to talk about the game and showed me some gameplay of it. It looked pretty cool although neither of us have a NES to play it on.He then asked if I wanted to see the ring and I said sure. He opened up the Wish app and goes through his orders and showed me the ring not expecting to show the price he paid. So here's where things got weird.

The game he bought for himself was $75. The ring he got for me was $2... I was kind of shocked.

The sentiment behind the ring is sweet but it kind of upsets me that he was only willing to spend $2 on a 2 year anniversary gift and spend $75 on a game that he doesn't even own the system for. Am I justified in being peeved or AITA?

quote:

AITA for demanding my husband cancel his boys weekend and come home?
u/SadWifeAITA848h
Throwaway account sorry!

Basically my husband and I have been married about six years, and have a 3 year old daughter, Elle.

Prior to getting married and having Elle, we were both very independent people. This hasn’t changed - as much as we value our couple/family time, we also both cherish time to ourselves and with our own friends.

We came up with an agreement that we each get ONE weekend a year to do whatever we like - go away, stay in a hotel, go out with friends - while the other stays home looking after Elle. It’s been working really well so far.

Well this past weekend was my husbands time and he chose a fishing trip with his pals, staying in a cabin roughly 30 mins away. No problems.

Saturday morning, the worst happened - my sister was involved in a serious car wreck. She’s on life support, it’s touch and go and I’m devastated. I can’t say much more.

I called my husband to tell him and ask he come home ASAP - and he refused. He said it’s his weekend, and he’ll come by the hospital Monday. He wasn’t totally heartless, he listened to me cry and scream and reassured me she’d be ok (how do we know that?) but he was adamant that he’s enjoying the remainder of his weekend and will join me today.

My family are obviously noticing his absence and I’m too embarrassed to tell them. I understand this is interfering with his weekend but this is my SISTER and she’s in critical condition. I’m stunned, he’s never been this selfish before. I’m angry, upset, confused and I just don’t know what to do.

I told him if he didn’t come home now, don’t bother coming home at all - now I’m wondering if I was too harsh because I haven’t slept in two days and I’m a wreck.

AITA?

Edit: wow I didn’t think this would attract any attention, especially this early. Thank you all for the healing thoughts and well wishes!

I just want to clarify re: this weekend arrangement - my husband and I regularly have date nights and nights out with friends throughout the year. This “totally alone do what you like YOLO weekend” is the thing that happens once per year. He sees his friends on a weekly basis, as do I.

Agrikk posted:

A doof from work just got married and he and is wife got One Rings for their bands. When he showed me it after he got back from his honeymoon I had so many issues:

1. You both have One Rings. Two One Rings?

2. The Ring was created by a servant of Ultimate Evil who wanted to enslave all life. “into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.” This is what your marriage means to you?

3. The ring absolutely corrupted the bearer and in order to save all of creation it was destroyed. Again, not the best symbolism for a wedding band.

4. Why not pick Vilya, Nenya or Narya? Rings of creation and knowledge and wisdom-seeking?

I think I said “oh, huh.” Or something equally erudite and smiled.

teen witch posted:

Thread spinoff idea: r/relationships championship of terrible partners. The Hey Sandy’s (yknow, for all the adventures of Pete and Pete’s, though not limited to Pete adventures)

Kitchner posted:

I mean she says it's a totally "PLATONIC" relationship, but we are only seeing her word for it. Personally I find she emphasises that point a lot in her writing and maybe it's just because she wants to make it clear or perhaps it's overcompensating.

Like I said if it was me I'd have just gone with her even if I didn't enjoy it because relationships are about compromise and if I don't like her going with some dude then I should go with her instead.

On the other hand if my girlfriend really was uncomfortable with me hanging out with some girl I'd not go, and I'd suggest we hang out together so she can get to know her. Ultimately if she still thought this other girl really liked me and didn't want me going but also didn't want to go, I think I'd just find another friend to go with. It sucks a bit for sure but I value my relationship enough that just dealing with a bit of insecurity is OK, and that going to Disney land with the specific person I want to go with isn't as important.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Wowwwww. His next yearly trip should be to the surface of the sun.

quote:

I'm a 31-year-old obese woman who works in outreach at a public institution in a smallish Midwestern town. I'm often at community events and around town, interacting with the public. It's a job I'm good at and that I enjoy very much. However, I've encountered a strange thing that makes me uncomfortable, and I'm looking for advice on how to prevent it from happening or, barring that, how to respond.

I think because of my size, I tend to be a person that other people feel comfortable talking about their “weight loss journeys” to. They assume that I'm going through something similar (I'm not) and don't realize they're making me intensely uncomfortable, and I can't really ask them to stop as my job is literally to be talking to them. On more than one occasion, these conversations have either begun with or culminated in these women offering me their clothing from when they were “much bigger.”

I think they're generally well-meaning, but it honestly hurts quite a bit. I know I'm fat, but I do put effort into my appearance and on most days think I look nice. I don't have a ton of money, but my clothes are professional, well-kept, and clean. I try to keep in mind that I'm sure these ladies are trying to be nice and think they're helping me in some way. Thus far I've been able to wiggle out of actually taking clothing, but I don't think I'll be able to with this most recent offer. I moved to a new town (in the same state) about six months ago, and while I'm doing the same thing I was previously, I am working for a new system. I was very close to my previous supervisor who made sure to take me out of those situations when I felt uncomfortable. I think my new supervisor would probably do the same, but with the way the work is split up here, it would mean my co-worker would have to take on this particular outreach alone even though it falls under my job description and not hers. (She does children's, and I work primarily with adults and seniors.)

Is there a way I should be presenting myself that would prevent ladies from talking to me about weight loss and offering me their now “way too big” clothes? Or is there a way I can turn them down without it negatively affecting the outreach I'm being paid to do? Or is my only answer to lose weight, something I probably should be doing but don't really care to? I don't understand why this keeps happening to me.

quote:

Oh, good Lord, how frustrating for you and how deeply embarrassing and thoughtless of these women. (Who raised them? Who taught them it was appropriate to ask a nicely dressed woman at work if she wants a lot of your old clothes because she’s the last size you dieted away from?) I don’t think there’s a way you could dress or comport yourself that would preempt these awful, cringeworthy conversations, because I think as soon as these women see your size, they decide they can say whatever they like to you, no matter how unsolicited, off-topic, inappropriate, or obviously hurtful-while-disguised-as-well-meaning. I imagine that your new supervisor, like your last one, does not think putting up with unsolicited offers of someone else’s old clothes is part of your job description. Saying “No thanks, I don’t need any new clothes” does not undermine your public outreach work. Regardless of how much weight you lose or gain, you deserve to be treated professionally when you are at work; you do not “deserve” to be offered stranger’s castoffs simply because you’re fat.

Please give yourself permission to politely but firmly interrupt anyone who starts saying things like “I used to be your size” or “Want any of my old T-shirts?” or “I started such-and-such diet last March, and … ” with “Sorry, but I’m not here to discuss that. Let’s get back to [relevant subject].” If they don’t give up, remove yourself from the conversation: “Like I said, I’m not here to discuss food/clothes/my weight. Please excuse me.” I’m so sorry that this keeps happening to you. I hope it stops soon. I don’t think these women are generally well-meaning. It’s not customary to interrupt a near-stranger wearing clean, pressed, work-appropriate attire and say, “Do you want my old wardrobe?” right after you’ve heard them give a talk about the museum/library/archive they work for. I think they do it because they’re still so full of anxiety and self-loathing about their own relationship to fatness, their own fatness in the past and the possibility of fat in the future, the existence of other fat people in the present, the fear of uncertainty and of the certainty of death, their hope that their newfound thinness can protect them from all of those things, and they want to be cruel/condescending/”helpful” to any fat people they encounter, no matter how inappropriate the setting or obviously not-in-need the fat person, in order to remind themselves, It’s OK. I’m safe. I’m not like this person. I’m good and thin and safe and worthy now. It is a deeply damaged mindset that has very little to do with improving one’s health and usually does not result in treating other people with respect and dignity, and I wish them freedom from this mindset as soon as possible, both for their sake as well as the sake of any fat people they might encounter and try to insult or bewilder or demean.

Araenna posted:

What about bisexual people? Can they never go on a trip with a friend alone? I can't imagine not going on trips with a friend I've been going on trips with since before even meeting my SO just because my SO is uncomfortable with me traveling with other people. And I can't imagine even wanting to have a say over my SO's friendships. At least not over something like "I'm insecure and jealous and don't trust you alone with your friend". How much do you value a friendship if you let something like another person's unfounded insecurity affect it?

DemoneeHo posted:

How can I politely explain to people that I don’t want the old large clothes from before their “weight loss journey”?

Kitchner posted:

If travelling alone with friends who your SO is uncomfortable with for whatever reason is more important to you than your SO then dump their rear end.

If it is not, don't.

Everyone has flaws and everyone is human and if your red line is that if your SO is insecure about you travelling alone with someone they don't really know, then that's cool, but I know it's not mine.

teen witch posted:

quote:

My friend group is sorta split in the middle with some thinking I’m an rear end in a top hat and some are saying she’s caring about monetary value too much.

My girlfriend is always browsing and adding things to her cart on this app, AliExpress. It’s popular because you can get small items for cents or only a couple bucks. Shipping is usually cheap or free but the stuff comes from China. She’s always adding stuff to her cart and then when she has extra money she buys the couple items she accumulates. Well I kept asking her what she wanted for her birthday and she said “I don’t know, surprise me” and I’m bad at that kind of poo poo fully. So when she went to bed one night I checked her app and saw an item in her cart that was 88 cents plus $2.41 expedited shipping so I can get them in time. I looked them up and bought them on my phone and called it a night.

Her birthday was last week and she was super disappointed. I guess she tried to hide it but she was upset during her bday dinner that night and then we talked it out after and she told me I cheaped out on her and put no thought into it. She also threw in my face that her parents paid for my meal at her bday dinner so it’s not like I took her out anyway. Well...her parents offered to pay for everyone so I don’t know what I was suppose to do? They paid for her siblings and the family friend too. I asked her a bunch of time what she wanted and she didn’t tell me. Also she is not a money hungry person so I don’t know where this is coming from. She’s using the birthday gift she bought me as leverage but I never asked for an expensive gift. So now I have to match the price of whatever she gets me first? AITA?

Power Khan posted:

AITA for holding a grudge toward my sister about being left out of her wedding pictures?
Not the A-hole
This summer, my sister got married. Last minute she changed the date of her wedding to be the same day of my birthday. I personally wouldn't have a day like that line up with something else of significance, but it's her day it's hard to get pissed over something like that. Day of wedding I get there many hours early to help get things prepared, altar included. They go through the ceremony which was great. After the ceremony, the bride and groom want to take wedding pictures at the altar before dismissing the assembly to the reception area. So they do. Groom goes first, gets pictures with him and his mother, him and grandmother, him and siblings, him and cousins, aunts uncles friends etc. He finished and it's my sister's turn. She gets wedding pics with our father, then our mother, then some cousins, then some friends, then some volleyball coach she had from back in the day. Basically everyone that came to the wedding aside from me, her brother and only sibling. Mind you, these are taken in front of everyone in attendance. It was embarrassing but frankly I dont really care about that aspect.

Admittedly, we never had the strongest relationship siblings could have, but I'm still her brother and this broke my heart. I mean I only have one sister, and she is only gonna have one wedding (hopefully). It made me feel meaningless and insignificant. On my birthday no less, technically.

AITA for holding a grudge toward my sister for being left out of her wedding pictures?

MagusofStars posted:

I couldn’t make it past the first paragraph, where it took 500 words to say “My spouse and I are close friends with three other families”.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being upset that my (22M) girlfriend (20F) copied my tattoo idea and didn't tell me about it until she was sitting in the tattoo parlor's chair?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over a year, although this happened about 6 months into our relationship. I don't have any tattoos but she has 6. I have always considered getting 1 but I want it to mean something, so its taken a while to decide on one. I really like her tattoos, and she knew that I wouldn't want to get matching ones with anyone unless I was married or best friends with them.

Now for me. I love to hike and I have since I was 13. Due to this, I have traveled to Colorado each year for the past 5 years climb mountains that are over 14,000ft in elevation. Since this is basically my only true hobby, I have always thought that if I got a tattoo it would relate to mountains or hiking.

So, my idea was to get a band on my arm that would be a custom mountain range that I would make by taking the outlines of photos of the peaks I've climbed and combining them into a strip. I really liked this idea and and I told my girlfriend just to get her opinion on it.

About a month later, she tells me that she is getting a new tattoo but won't tell me what it is. She always designs her own and is very good, but she wouldn't let me even see her sketches. She tells me what day she is getting it so I can be there. We are in college together, and it slips my mind until the day arrives.

When I walk in, she is already sitting in the chair, and her artist is pressing stencil paper into her arm to start. My heart sinks when I notice that it is in an outline of a mountain range in the shape of a band around her arm.

She asks me if I am surprised and I don't say much. She then asks me if I'm ok and I ask if she copied my idea for my tattoo. She told me that she liked the idea so much that she wanted something similar, but she just freehanded her own range instead of fully copying me. She also got a quote there, so she said that hers would be different compared to mine. I was still upset because I didn't want to end up having a near matching tattoo with my girlfriend of 5 months, and I knew that she hadn't done much hiking at all either. She ended up noticing me and asked if she shouldn't get it. I knew she wanted it, but before I could even answer the artist started on it. He had already been paid a nonrefundable deposit so it makes sense, but I had to fight back tears at this point.

We had some issues after this for about a week. I didn't even want to talk to her or look at the tattoo. Eventually, I became more ok with it and found it attractive, but I still can't help but feel like I can never get what I wanted. I actually managed to get her to go with me to CO this year for her first peak, which justifies the tattoo a bit more, but it still doesn't feel right.

AITA? Part of me thinks that I have the right to be upset since she took part of my idea, but another part of me thinks that I shouldn't be upset when she thought she was being thoughtful and that I'm holding a grudge for too long. I think about this often and I'm torn inside.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being upset that my (22M) girlfriend (20F) copied my tattoo idea and didn't tell me about it until she was sitting in the tattoo parlor's chair?

Uncle Enzo posted:

Yeah the gist of the Pete story isn't "man objects to partner taking trip with member of opposite sex". It was more like "man objects to partner's travel to a party city with an ex who is probably still attracted, and upon reasonably voicing concerns got told to take a hike"

E: wait wasn't Pete fine with the trip until it turned out it was with her ex?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being upset that my (22M) girlfriend (20F) copied my tattoo idea and didn't tell me about it until she was sitting in the tattoo parlor's chair?

Beachcomber posted:

1. She shouldn't have done that.

2. He has now spread the idea out into the universe, so good luck not seeing it 100 more times.

Dazerbeams posted:

The fact that the girlfriend didn't say anything about using it herself makes it clear that she knew she was stealing an idea and going behind his back on it.

SHY NUDIST GRRL posted:

Getting an empire tattoo to show to the First Order daily military parade at Disney on my trip with my platonic friend

DamnitGannet posted:

Imagine not being able to go to an amusement park with your friend because your boyfriend is insecure as gently caress and scared that you're going to jump on your friends dick the second you're alone with them. If you cant trust your partner then why are you even together?

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

What in the heck? How have these dumb weirdos never heard of an IUD or vasectomy???? Why is she still with this rear end in a top hat? What is going on with this story? I hate everyone involved, including OP.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I knew she wanted it, but before I could even answer the artist started on it. He had already been paid a nonrefundable deposit so it makes sense, but I had to fight back tears at this point.

Power Khan posted:

WIBTA for reporting a TA at my kids' school?

Miss posted:

it likpates

Power Khan posted:

WIBTA for reporting a TA at my kids' school?
My wife and I adopted 2 children. I am white with red hair and blue eyes, my wife is latino and has brown hair and brown eyes. Our kids are latino with brown hair and green eyes. (note: I am using what my wife said are the correct terms to refer to them. Apologies if they aren't)

They're both primary school age. They started in September and due to our schedules, I drop them off at school and see them in, and my wife picks them up at the end of the day.

At the beginning of the day there are no teachers watching, but at the end the teachers stand at the door and don't let the kids leave until they see their parent.

My wife was ill on Friday so I went to get the kids. The teacher saw me, I saw the kids, they saw me, they moved towards me, the teacher stopped them.

I saw her talking to them and them gesturing to me but the teacher stood between them and the door so they couldn't leave. Due to the circumstances that led to them being in the foster care system, they don't do well with adults standing between them and exits. The principal said the teachers would be made fully aware of this.

I start walking towards the door and I hear the kids speaking simultaneously, both saying something to the effect of me being their adoptive mother and saying "let us leave!" The teacher is still stood between the kids and the door and I can hear my daughter's voice shaking, like she's about to cry.

I loudly call to the teacher (who has her back to me) that I am their adoptive mother, give me my children, and they run towards me. The teacher then challenges me, saying she has a duty of care and I look nothing like them and she's met their mother who does look like them. I say that's my wife, give me my children, and show her my lock screen of me, my wife, and the kids. She lets me take my children home.

The kids say she's a TA, not a teacher, and doesn't work for either of their classes, so it's probable she didn't know, but she could have listened to any of us 3 and resolved it. My wife says she made a mistake, but what about next time? What happens if i need to pick up my children urgently (they both have mental health issues due to their early life) and she stops me again?

I want to call the school and tell them what happened and let them deal with it. WIBTA?

Edit: while I am relieved that people can't just walk off with my kids there are other steps she could have and should have taken. There's meant to be a list of people cleared for pick up and I was on it but she didn't have the list with her. When my kids said "that's our mum, let us leave" that should have been the end of it. There was no need for her to physically prevent my children leaving.

Edit 2: she stopped me because we didn't look alike. What happens if their bio parents ever show up and this TA thinks to herself "oh, well, they certainly look like the children" and the kids don't know what to do?

Edit 3: I absolutely do not want her fired. That would not be my intention. If I wanted anything out of reporting her it would be the principal/her supervisor saying "be more careful next time"





Update: My wife is still ill so I just went to pick my children up for the second school day in a row. I was waiting by the door, the TA, again, came out without the list. I went to get my children. She asked me whose mother I was. The kids came to the door and pointed me out. The TA would not let me take my children. She then gestured to a woman behind me who looks vaguely similar to my wife and kids and waited for the stranger to come over. The stranger then saw my children and said "those aren't my kids." TA then says "so where is your parent, then?" They, again, point me out, and I say "I am". She then says "do you have any proof?" I say "do you have the list?". She then tells me to hand over my ID. It shows that my name is different to my children's surnames. She then refuses to let my children leave and physically grabs their wrists to stop them walking to me. I take my license, go to the school office, tell them the situation, and a receptionist walks back to the children's exit with me and the list and then and only then does the TA let me take my children home. This is the second day running this has happened with this same TA. I am scheduling a meeting with the principal. I don't care if this makes me an arsehole or Karen or whatever, it's not happening again.

I want to reiterate my intentions are not to get her fired or anything like that, it's just that she brings the bloody list with her.

She has demonstrated 2 days running that she is more willing to give my kids to someone who looks vaguely like them or has the same surname than she is willing to actually let me pick up my children. Either she brings the list or they fix their whole pickup system, but this can't happen again.

Power Khan posted:

AITA for holding a grudge toward my sister about being left out of her wedding pictures?
Not the A-hole
This summer, my sister got married. Last minute she changed the date of her wedding to be the same day of my birthday. I personally wouldn't have a day like that line up with something else of significance, but it's her day it's hard to get pissed over something like that. Day of wedding I get there many hours early to help get things prepared, altar included. They go through the ceremony which was great. After the ceremony, the bride and groom want to take wedding pictures at the altar before dismissing the assembly to the reception area. So they do. Groom goes first, gets pictures with him and his mother, him and grandmother, him and siblings, him and cousins, aunts uncles friends etc. He finished and it's my sister's turn. She gets wedding pics with our father, then our mother, then some cousins, then some friends, then some volleyball coach she had from back in the day. Basically everyone that came to the wedding aside from me, her brother and only sibling. Mind you, these are taken in front of everyone in attendance. It was embarrassing but frankly I dont really care about that aspect.

Admittedly, we never had the strongest relationship siblings could have, but I'm still her brother and this broke my heart. I mean I only have one sister, and she is only gonna have one wedding (hopefully). It made me feel meaningless and insignificant. On my birthday no less, technically.

AITA for holding a grudge toward my sister for being left out of her wedding pictures?

Power Khan posted:

WIBTA for reporting a TA at my kids' school?