Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

lolol.

Also, Bill Simmons is 100% correct. Mookie is a loving treasure and they should be backing up dump trucks to keep him in Boston for his whole career.

# ? Nov 8, 2019 20:36

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 09:42

Jiro: Jan 13, 2004

Man I'm really going to be missing the Hater's Guide to Williams-Sonoma for 2019. :smith:

# ? Nov 8, 2019 21:15

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Jiro posted:

Man I'm really going to be missing the Hater's Guide to Williams-Sonoma for 2019.

Someone's going to run it (prob. Vice)

# ? Nov 8, 2019 21:17

The X-man cometh: Nov 1, 2009

Vertical Lime posted:

of course

https://twitter.com/VICE/status/1192865815344926720

I can't wait for Jezebel to run a piece on this and get shut down too

# ? Nov 8, 2019 21:57

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

so deadspin is now DEAD dead and not just a shambling zombie yeah

# ? Nov 8, 2019 23:24

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

Declan MacManus posted:

so deadspin is now DEAD dead and not just a shambling zombie yeah

It exists but I don�t think there has been a post in several days.

# ? Nov 8, 2019 23:32

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Henchman of Santa posted:

It exists but I don�t think there has been a post in several days.

They put up jim spanfeller's ribald joke and golfing anecdotes jamboroo

# ? Nov 8, 2019 23:34

Troy Queef: Jan 12, 2013

The X-man cometh posted:

I can't wait for Jezebel to run a piece on this and get shut down too

this is actually a riposte to Jezebel's recent piece slamming Vice for their misogynistic culture.

# ? Nov 9, 2019 00:03

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

zakharov posted:

https://twitter.com/BillSimmons/status/1192883340891676672?s=19

This rules. gently caress The Red Sox as an organization. Mookie is the tits

# ? Nov 9, 2019 03:19

General Dog: Apr 26, 2008; Everybody's working for the weekend

Are we sure Mookie isn�t a Ewing Theory candidate?

# ? Nov 9, 2019 03:25

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

https://twitter.com/mattdpearce/status/1192990380217847809

# ? Nov 9, 2019 03:42

Island Nation: Jun 20, 2006; Trust No One

General Dog posted:

Are we sure Mookie isn�t a Ewing Theory candidate?

Mookie is a champion so yes we're sure.

# ? Nov 9, 2019 04:44

chunkles: Aug 14, 2005; i am completely immersed in darkness
as i turn my body away from the sun

Jiro posted:

Man I'm really going to be missing the Hater's Guide to Williams-Sonoma for 2019.

i'm not familiar with this and i have to say i cannot endorse a feature that hates on peppermint bark

# ? Nov 9, 2019 08:57

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

chunkles posted:

i'm not familiar with this and i have to say i cannot endorse a feature that hates on peppermint bark

You�re missing out.

# ? Nov 9, 2019 10:12

harperdc: Jul 24, 2007

chunkles posted:

i'm not familiar with this and i have to say i cannot endorse a feature that hates on peppermint bark

considering not even brain damage could stop the 2018 edition, I don't think something like "watching its original web site burn to ashes" can stop the Hater's Guide this year.

# ? Nov 9, 2019 15:04

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Troy Queef posted:

this is actually a riposte to Jezebel's recent piece slamming Vice for their misogynistic culture.

Both are almost certainly true. I have zero doubt that Jezebel would post about G/O's sexism problems.

fake edit: I'm referring to this, Gawker was not great on that even back in the Denton days, it should not have taken months for management to find a solution to trolls posting images of rape and sexual violence in the comment threads of the feminist vertical. Especially considering how fast things got fixed when that spread to OTHER verticals.

e: Fixed my url links.

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 15:22 on Nov 9, 2019

# ? Nov 9, 2019 15:11

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

chunkles posted:

i'm not familiar with this and i have to say i cannot endorse a feature that hates on peppermint bark

He likes the peppermint bark but makes fun of it costing like $50 per tin iirc

# ? Nov 9, 2019 15:17

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

chunkles posted:

i'm not familiar with this and i have to say i cannot endorse a feature that hates on peppermint bark

Drew likes the peppermint bark. The price for six, though... Here's 2017 for an example.

# ? Nov 9, 2019 15:18

hcreight: Mar 19, 2007; My name is Oliver Queen...

thrilla in vanilla posted:

This rules. gently caress The Red Sox as an organization. Mookie is the tits

I feel like that's an article Shaughnessy would write regardless of who owns the Globe TBH.

# ? Nov 9, 2019 15:54

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/1193237576171360256

# ? Nov 9, 2019 19:48

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Gotta be the latter, right? You'd need all new shoes and walking on them would suck, but prehensile feet would be fuckin' cool whereas non-prehensile hands would suck rear end.

# ? Nov 10, 2019 00:04

Blast Fantasto: Sep 18, 2007; USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

habeasdorkus posted:

Gotta be the latter, right? You'd need all new shoes and walking on them would suck, but prehensile feet would be fuckin' cool whereas non-prehensile hands would suck rear end.

Yeah for sure. You can also hide finger toes from existence as opposed to having shameful finger toes everyone can see.

# ? Nov 10, 2019 01:39

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Just imagine how badly the lightest stub of a toe would just shatter the bones.

# ? Nov 10, 2019 08:14

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Would I still have ankles? Or would that become a wrist? Because that would be a deal breaker

# ? Nov 10, 2019 08:25

habeasdorkus: Nov 3, 2013; Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Oh good point. Not being able to walk would really suck. I'd rather not be able to walk than not be able to use my hands, though, if the obverse is also true. Hand like a foot is meant to be an idiom, not an accurate description.

# ? Nov 10, 2019 16:57

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

the coward elizabeth warren will not embrace debate

# ? Nov 10, 2019 17:38

Mind_Taker: May 7, 2007

Vertical Lime posted:

https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/1193237576171360256

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrYtglwjvU8

# ? Nov 10, 2019 17:55

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

hcreight posted:

I feel like that's an article Shaughnessy would write regardless of who owns the Globe TBH.

Shaughnessy probably had it written six months ago and has been just waiting to break it out

# ? Nov 10, 2019 18:25

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

The Glumslinger posted:

Would I still have ankles? Or would that become a wrist? Because that would be a deal breaker

Yes. You get finger toes or toe fingers, not hand feet or foot hands.

# ? Nov 10, 2019 21:26

chunkles: Aug 14, 2005; i am completely immersed in darkness
as i turn my body away from the sun

the biomechanics phd i have from searching google sometimes tells me that finger toes would probably cause many problems, but on the other hand it would be fuckin cool and is better than not being able to like, open doors and stuff

# ? Nov 11, 2019 00:20

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

chunkles posted:

the biomechanics phd i have from searching google sometimes tells me that finger toes would probably cause many problems, but on the other hand it would be fuckin cool and is better than not being able to like, open doors and stuff

Oh nice you specialized in biomechanics for your PhLD I was wondering what route you went

# ? Nov 11, 2019 00:25

iwentdoodie: Apr 29, 2005; 🤗YOU'RE WELCOME🤗

Sash! posted:

Yes. You get finger toes or toe fingers, not hand feet or foot hands.

I've met a lot of people in the military and machine shops that have literal toe fingers/thumbs. They make do.

Seeing them with gloves on is always funny though

# ? Nov 11, 2019 01:07

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

what if you had to have penises transplanted to where your fingers were and then you had to make your fingers erect in order to be able to do something

# ? Nov 11, 2019 01:15

GoutPatrol: Oct 17, 2009; *Stupid Babby*

Crazy Ted posted:

what if you had to have penises transplanted to where your fingers were and then you had to make your fingers erect in order to be able to do something

why would I want hard fingers that can't bend (well), I don't want a robot claw for a hand

# ? Nov 11, 2019 03:36

Dr_Strangelove: Dec 16, 2003; Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Blast Fantasto posted:

You can also hide finger toes from existence

ARE PRESIDENT can't and he's very sensitive about them

# ? Nov 11, 2019 21:17

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

https://twitter.com/nytopinion/status/1193989315937873924

# ? Nov 11, 2019 21:30

Tim Thomas: Feb 12, 2008; breakdancin the night away

Of all times to be out of articles to the grey lady

# ? Nov 12, 2019 02:20

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

I got you

quote:

I Was Fired From Deadspin for Refusing to �Stick to Sports�
Pretending that sports can take place in a vacuum would have been profoundly dishonest.

By Barry Petchesky

Two weeks ago, I was fired as acting editor in chief of Deadspin, where I�d worked since 2009. The entire staff resigned, following me out the door after we had refused a new company mandate to �stick to sports.� Jim Spanfeller, installed as chief executive of G/O Media by the private equity firm that bought the company seven months ago, called me into his office, pointed to some offending stories on our home page and had me escorted from the building.

This is the first time that I�m speaking up about my firing, and my stance remains the same as in the countless meetings with management where I explained and insisted that sports don�t end when the players head back to the locker room.

We refused to �stick to sports,� because we know that sports is everything, and everything is sports: It�s the N.B.A. kowtowing to its Chinese business interests; it�s pro sports leagues attempting to become shadow justice systems for publicity reasons; it�s the opioid epidemic roiling N.F.L. locker rooms at least as hard as anywhere in Appalachia, even as the league refuses to relax its marijuana policy; it�s racist fan chants chasing black players off the pitch in Italian soccer matches; it�s Washington Nationals catcher Kurt Suzuki wearing a �Make America Great Again� cap at the White House. (These last two stories occurred in the past week and so were not covered on Deadspin; the �stick to sports� diktat forced the outlet to ignore the biggest sports stories in the world.)

Reporting sports with integrity requires knowing that there�s no way to wall off the games from the world outside. To anyone who knows anything about sports or cares about the world outside the arena, the notion that sports should or even can be covered merely by box scores and transaction wires is absurd.

From the moment Deadspin was founded in 2005, the website took for granted that what happened off the field was at least as important as the goings-on between the lines, and that there was no way to unravel the two. Deadspin�s approach was a reaction to the predominant strain of sportswriting at the time, which treated athletes as either Greek demigods unconcerned with the dealings of the world or spoiled millionaires playing children�s games.

We wanted to show the world the reality of sports, to help readers and players alike understand the labor issues, the politics, the issues of race and class that don�t materially change when the power dynamic is owner/player. In 2014, we obtained audio of then-Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling�s racist rant against what he considered ungrateful black employees. �Do I make the game, or do they make the game?� Sterling said. Deadspin�s position was that it�s all in the game.

Why would anyone buy Deadspin to change Deadspin? It�s hard to understand why Great Hill Partners demanded that we �stick to sports� � especially at a time when the site was driving the conversation in sports coverage and had the highest traffic in its history � until you realize that this was most likely their plan. It�s the private equity model: Purchase an asset, strip it of everything of value, then turn around and sell the brand to someone else before they realize that what made the brand valuable in the first place has been lost and can never be recovered (the low-quality, un-bylined articles sweatily posted to the site after the mass resignations bear this out).

This strategy is cynical enough when the victim is something like Toys �R� Us; it�s a societal crisis when it comes for journalism.

And come for journalism it has. In recent years, we�ve seen the deaths (and to varying degrees, the troubled rebirths) of the likes of Newsweek, The Denver Post, LA Weekly, Playboy and just last month, the granddaddy of all sports media, Sports Illustrated. It plays out the same way each time: The new owners come in, slash staff and costs and turn a once-proud publication into a content mill churning out bland and unimportant stories that no one wants or needs to read.

It�s going to keep happening, faster than new outlets can rise up to replace the gutted old. For every refreshing new outlet, two will be zombified. Corners will be sanded down. Bitter pills pur�ed to a beige pap. Everything you liked about the web will be replaced with what the largest number of people like, or at least tolerate enough to click on and sit through three seconds of an autoplay ad. Unique voices will be muted, or drowned out altogether.

That�s precisely what happened to Deadspin, which for 14 successful and profitable years possessed a distinct and inimitable voice, only to see its entire mission statement detonated in an instant by the whims of private equity. If forced to stick to sports, Deadspin isn�t Deadspin.

Deadspin was the voice of the long-suffering fan, finding the humor and the heartbreak in everything in the world of sports. It was the fan wondering why he was paying $200 to go to a football game to watch a team whose owner would rather pocket profit than pay to improve the roster. It was also the fan troubled by the culture and the politics of sports, the fan who couldn�t help noticing that the larger issues of the real world spilled onto the field. Sticking to sports, pretending that sports can take place in a vacuum, would have been profoundly dishonest.

# ? Nov 12, 2019 07:38

chunkles: Aug 14, 2005; i am completely immersed in darkness
as i turn my body away from the sun

thank you jimmy carter

# ? Nov 12, 2019 08:05

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 09:42

harperdc: Jul 24, 2007

Tim Thomas posted:

Of all times to be out of articles to the grey lady

Reader mode on Firefox/Safari should help.

# ? Nov 12, 2019 08:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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