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Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Flannelette posted:

Just trying to picture someone clipping their pubes with craft scissors.

La Brea Carpet posted:

A wildly off base interpretation of "scissoring"

Also lol at the picture of someone trying to trim their pubes with child's safety scissors.

The implication I take from it is that, left to its own devices, her pubic hair situation is pretty beefy, and the craft scissors help her trim down an overabundance and leave her with just a more average amount of pubic hair

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kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Also I've never been to Tilted Kilt in my life and just assumed it was some generic Applebee's tier bar except Irish themed. I never knew it was a "hot waitresses" place like Hooters.

I thought it was some competitor to Hot Topic.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Power Khan posted:

Just Found Out My (27M) Fiancé’s (27F) Ex Boyfriend (53M) Was Married and Almost Twice Our Age.


This one sure takes some turns. Don't know what to think about it either.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
Have a nice chunk of poo poo on your palate then

AITA for the telling my ex that she doesn't deserve to have a child after her actions towards our son?
No A-holes here
My ex and I had a kid together. She never liked the idea of biological children, believing that her DNA was "wrong" and would produce only monsters (family history). When we were married and floating children, she wanted to do an egg donor. We had an accidental pregnancy and found out too late to consider abortion. She was on edge the entire time, flipping between wanting an abortion anyway and wanting testing that was inappropriate for maternal age.

Our son was born with down syndrome, and is severely autistic. The problems started immediately. When he was brought to her after birth, she started screaming in horror and was so off the charts that she needed a 72 hour hold. I took to parenting, she...did not. She had postpartum depression on steroids, with a side of hatred, both for herself and life. She went in the psych ward five times in the remainder of our marriage. His diagnosis of severe autism was the end.

When we divorced, she not only forfeited custody, but signed away her parental rights. Her only right is to pay child support. She dressed it up in court record, but told me afterwards that she wanted to move on from her "sin", it was fine that she is leaving because trying to love him is a wasted effort, and that if CPS came knocking for her to take the boy, she'd make sure she never passed a drug test.

She pays max child support, which only covers therapy and maybe a few items of clothing a month. I've heard through the grapevine five years on that she's married someone, and adopted his young daughter. A friend of hers is apparently dying, understands why she abandoned our son, and wants a steady caregiver for his daughter when he goes.

She's been able to reduce her support to only $750 from $1100 as she now "has another child" to support. Her new job pays much less, and it's a lower col area so jobs pay less. I fought the decrease in court and lost. It's horrible. I'm really feeling the financial strain. Our son hasn't had much improvement, and I can't give more therapy with this massive income cut.

I directly contacted my ex to plead our son's case to her, and after she said that she couldn't afford it and she was only a parent in legal child support duties only, I went off saying that she in no way even deserves a "fresh" child. AITA here?

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
AITA for giving in my two weeks notice with no job lined up?
Hello everyone I work part time while my husband is the breadwinner. I have made up my mind. I'm giving in my two weeks tomorrow despite not having another job lined up. I have the Ok from my husband to quit, but I still feel like an rear end. A part of me is telling me that I need to suck it up and bear the grunt of a job I hate because my husband does the same for me. The extra income was helping us save more.

I loved my job so much up until I got transferred to a new location this year. I do not feel comfortable sharing too many details in case my employer sees this, but I will say that I am in charge of managing a group of vulnerable people who are dependent on me to make sure they are safe during the day. The new group I manage has a few members that display aggressive behavior toward me, my co-worker, and the other members of the group I am supposed to watch out for.

I am near my breaking point and want to leave on a professional note before I rage quit. I have spoken to management and informed them I do not feel qualified to manage this new group. Management has placed me there permanently, it's been decided, and I don't have the option to return to my previous location. I have had some close calls where people have almost gotten hurt by the aggressors but I was able to intervene quickly. Management has assured me I'm doing fine, but I know I am not because I come home crying and I'm unable to sleep or eat. At this point, I am worried that administration knows my concerns and is not providing me with an extra layer of support (another team member in addition to what we have now).

My husband says it's okay to quit, but he loves me and is selfless so of course he would say that.

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


r/relationships: this is about my human girlfriend

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000



Ultra Carp

ScentOfAnOtaku posted:

This one sure takes some turns. Don't know what to think about it either.

lol @ her making her fiance have lunch with her sugar daddy and lying about her relationship with him to her fiance's face, that's a total power move

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
"This is my professor"

Lol, wait, I meant sugar daddy that used me to cheat on his wife (which he is still married to), and I'm still seeing him and talking to him regularly.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Why was Pick banned from the thread

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
*Arcane gestures*
~Mumbles incantations~

BEHOLD OFFICE loving CHAOS

AITA for wanting to move out of my 2-person office and leave my coworker?
Not the A-hole
Firstly, I (28F) work in a company where we have individual or 2-person offices within our actual office. I have been sharing my 2-person office with a guy (28M) for the last two years. Long story short, we got on, we slept together a few times, I fell in love, he has a girlfriend and will not leave her, the usual horrid situation that makes us both A-holes I guess.

Although I’m in love with him and he’s chosen her over me, we have remained on very good terms and I help him out a lot at work and still socialize with him. But it’s starting to get me down as I can’t get over him and it’s hard to see him text and message with his girlfriend all day (we literally sit opposite each other).

I asked him on several occasions whether I could move offices (to a one person office) to help me get over it. He doesn’t think that it will help since we will still be in the same team (around 15 people) and he still enjoys my company and we have such a great time at work together. It culminated one night in him crying in my arms when he realized that I might leave him alone in his office and he begged me to promise not to go. I agreed since I am weak. (To clarify, we have not had any sexual contact for at least 6 months now).

But now it’s really getting me down. AITA for promising to stay and then actually moving offices and knowingly upsetting someone I care for deeply?

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

If you are a woman or a minority, never see a white male doctor if you can avoid it.

It's just not worth the risk.

Hell, even if you're a white male you're probably better off doing the same.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
AITA for telling my GF that I consider going to church to be a leisure activity?
Not the A-hole
My GF and I live together, she grew up religious and is still a dedicated church goer. She goes to church every Sunday unless something important prevents her from going. I'm not religious but I sometimes tag along because it means a lot to her.

Yesterday she went to church and I stayed home because I was feeling drained and tired. Sunday is also our day to prep meals for the week, when I stay home from church I get started on meal prep. But since I was feeling drained, I decided to go back to sleep. She gets home an hour and a half later and is annoyed at me for not starting meal prep.

We get into a small argument where she basically tells me that I had nothing better to do, so I should have started prepping meals. I responded by telling her that she was spending time on leisure and so was I. This really upset her and she told me that church is not leisure, to which I disagreed. Things cooled off eventually but she is still miffed at me and is expecting an apology, but I don't plan on giving one. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Incoherence
May 22, 2004

POYO AND TEAR
My (f27) MIL(f26) is pregnant at the same time as me and now is throwing a baby shower the same day as me. It is all so weird and putting a strain on my relationship with my husband (M30)

quote:

Edit : thanks for the kind words. I will block Mindy from social media for now. As to further steps I have to talk to my husband.

And yes I know that this story sounds like the movie, I watched that yesterday. Difference is that the stepmother seemed like a decent person, which is not my case unfortunately
--
I know this reads as a poo poo post but I really am desperate for help so please.

I have been married to my husband James for nearly 3 years now together for 7. We met at uni and have been going strong ever since.

James dad, Erik, divorced his ex wife 4 years ago. He then met his now wife Mindy and married her very quickly. It was a whole drama at our wedding because Erik brought Mindy and they were being really mean to James mom, Sarah (who is the greatest MIL in the world).

After that James distanced himself a bit from Erik. They got back into regular contact a year ago. We usually have lunch at their place once a moth or so. And it has been going great. We can't get past that Erik's wife is younger than us, but we try to ignore it.

A few months ago we found out we were pregnant. It was not planed but we are very happy non the less. We broke the news tow every one in person. We didn't do cheesy gifts or anything.

So then came the lunch at Erik's place and we told him. And without even congratulating us he told us "Mindy is pregnant too!!!".

Since then Erik and Mindy go out of their way to "outshine" my pregnancy. It is really stupid but I feel like I am in some kinda race? For example you know how you can get either a Standart ultrasound or one of those 4d ones? I posted my Standart one on isntagram and 4 minutes after that Mindy posts hers that is one of the fancy ones and she tags (!!!) me. She basically said this "this is more expensive but so worth it to see the little one in detail! @op I recommend to get this one the next time 😉"

It irked me so much and idk why! It's just a stupid posts.

But what took the cake that she put her baby shower date on the same date as mine. She knew when I was having it because she asked me. She made it a whole Facebook event. Erik is very affluent so they are going all out. I am talking a hired band, fancy virgin cocktails with a barista, a whole rear end venue etc.

Ofcourse James family is torn because while I invited them first they also want to go to mindies party and support Erik.

James now wants to cancel the baby shower all together. He is really bitter. Specially because he feels like this baby is a do over child for his father as Erik is now more involved than he was with James. Instead of enjoying what should be our wonderful journey to parenthood, James is always fuming and bitter about his father. And that leads to me, a pregnant and hormonal insecure woman, to be in a constant state of stress. I cry almost everyday and I can't enjoy this pregnancy. The pregnancy alone is very difficult as I have high blood pressure, backnee, nausea, and everytime I sneeze I feel like I peed my pants. I just need help or even just some encouragement. Thanks so much.
The movie in question is this one. I feel like a swift kick to Erik's balls might be cathartic.

Clitch
Feb 26, 2002

I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus

Power Khan posted:

My (25M) girlfriend (21F) has a humping problem
I know this is so weird and like I’m complaining about a dog but no this is about my human girlfriend

She has a problem and it’s awkward but I’m gonna try to be mature. It was hot in the beginning but now it just bothers me a lot. She has a humping problem. She didn’t do it as much in front of me before but she’s gotten comfortable so she doesn’t hold back

Basically she masturbates every night which is fine, she just has a high sex drive. Nothing wrong with that. But it’s awkward. Like I walk into our bedroom to go to bed and she’s there on the floor humping her pillow. In our living room, she likes to sit on the arm of the couch and hump it when she watches tv. During sex, she lets me gently caress her and I finish and then she will hump my thigh. My guys know after sex, that post nut clarity comes thru and honestly I don’t want a girl humping my loving leg I get turned off by sex and she doesn’t wanna do it before I finish bc she says she feels pressured to finish quickly so I can get off too. I told her that wasn’t the case and I don’t care about her taking a lot of time but she doesn’t wanna do it until I finish. I’ve woken up in the morning and she’s humping my face as a joke to wake me up.

I think the biggest part is the sex thing. We can’t have normal sex. She likes oral but she needs it for like an hour before she can finish from it and she says grinding is quick so she prefers it. I don’t even mind, I will go down on her for hours if she wants. It’s just kind of annoying. It’s like sex or masturbating there’s no difference for her, she’s basically doing the same thing. And she’s not even up for experimenting. She was going at it on me once and I held her so she’d stop and tried to just be playful and she got mad at me and said she lost her orgasm and I was an rear end in a top hat. Idk. She’s not even up for something different

Is this a new lady version of the Death Grip? Can we call it the Onatopp? It even has "Ona" in it. It's perfect.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


/r/relationships: I gotta get home and hit the humpini

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
I woke up to her humping my face. Time to grow out a stubby beard.

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
Trader boyfriends with the guy who would date his dog, problem solved

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Power Khan posted:

My (25M) girlfriend (21F) has a humping problem
I know this is so weird and like I’m complaining about a dog but no this is about my human girlfriend

She has a problem and it’s awkward but I’m gonna try to be mature. It was hot in the beginning but now it just bothers me a lot. She has a humping problem. She didn’t do it as much in front of me before but she’s gotten comfortable so she doesn’t hold back

Basically she masturbates every night which is fine, she just has a high sex drive. Nothing wrong with that. But it’s awkward. Like I walk into our bedroom to go to bed and she’s there on the floor humping her pillow. In our living room, she likes to sit on the arm of the couch and hump it when she watches tv. During sex, she lets me gently caress her and I finish and then she will hump my thigh. My guys know after sex, that post nut clarity comes thru and honestly I don’t want a girl humping my loving leg I get turned off by sex and she doesn’t wanna do it before I finish bc she says she feels pressured to finish quickly so I can get off too. I told her that wasn’t the case and I don’t care about her taking a lot of time but she doesn’t wanna do it until I finish. I’ve woken up in the morning and she’s humping my face as a joke to wake me up.

I think the biggest part is the sex thing. We can’t have normal sex. She likes oral but she needs it for like an hour before she can finish from it and she says grinding is quick so she prefers it. I don’t even mind, I will go down on her for hours if she wants. It’s just kind of annoying. It’s like sex or masturbating there’s no difference for her, she’s basically doing the same thing. And she’s not even up for experimenting. She was going at it on me once and I held her so she’d stop and tried to just be playful and she got mad at me and said she lost her orgasm and I was an rear end in a top hat. Idk. She’s not even up for something different

The ability to use tools is one of the advantages of being an intelligent species.

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Also beard hair trimmers are great for trimming beards among other things. Just because it’s blue doesn’t mean women can’t take advantage.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Blue is a feminine colour.

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

Vashro posted:

The downfall of the Breastaurant Industry follows the declining appeal of Boobs in general. If they want to capture millennials on down they need to revamp as an rear end pun Thicc themed restaurant

Asston's Bistro

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

Lol look at this dweeb get owned by his mom and then watch his phone get run over because he was so flustered.

17 year old guy who's mom discovered his hickeys

quote:

**TL;DR;** : Mom saw hickeys, don't know what to do because she's very angry and I want to keep seeing my current girlfriend. Please Read.

Some background: I am a 17 years old guy, and I've had one past relationship that really took a tole on me because it was way too sexual.

So this past weekend I was at the movies with my recent girlfriend who I've been dating for just over a month. Things got a little touchy and I ended up giving her a hickey, as well as her giving me two. All was well and they were not in noticeable places.

Now today, when I was getting out of the shower, my mom saw them and went absolutely ballistic.

As usual when she gets angry with me, she throws a complete fit, making it very apparent to everyone in the world that there has been an argument. Yelling and screaming as well as throwing and breaking things is highly common.

Anyways, she drives me to school and when I was getting out of the car, she began yelling to the entire car-line to "look at his hickeys!" I was scrambling to try and get out before anyone could hear, and I dropped my phone in the line. I thought I had left it in the car so I ran all the way to the end of the line to look in the car again, and it was not there. I ran all the way back and saw my phone lying in the asphalt being run over by other cars in the line, meaning I must've dropped it outside the car. Now I don't have any form of communication with my girlfriend because we go to different schools.

I don't know what to do because I really like this girl and I don't want to have to let her go because of a couple silly hickeys. Also, how do I deal with my mom's constant outbursts about me and my life choices?

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008




The Bramble posted:

Lol look at this dweeb get owned by his mom and then watch his phone get run over because he was so flustered.

17 year old guy who's mom discovered his hickeys

this is what makes having kids worth it, right? just getting to fuckin destroy them occasionally with sicc burns?

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Power Khan posted:

"This is my professor"

Lol, wait, I meant sugar daddy that used me to cheat on his wife (which he is still married to), and I'm still seeing him and talking to him regularly.

Yeah, continuing to see him isn't excusable. He's still got a grip on her.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
I think it's more like she's playing everyone like a fiddle.

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Grape posted:

Wait... drat we really are way overrepresented on here. And we're all obnoxious and smug too.

Jesus, we're the Scandinavians of America.

I blame the large portion of college kids and white collar jobs, combined with the air hurting for six months out of the year.

Cognac McCarthy
Oct 5, 2008

It's a man's game, but boys will play

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I know a decent amount of married couples my age (early to mid 30s) who did a combined gender go crazy and do poo poo party with all their friends the weekend before the wedding. They didn't want a stupid strongly heteronormative party without their soon-to-be spouse because they're not dumb gross Boomers who rushed into marriage and depressingly frequent strip clubs.

I got married a couple weeks ago and this is more or less what we did. There were separate activities for men and women during the daytime but neither was terribly "gendered", we just wanted to do different outdoor things. The evening was mixed gender at our favorite bar, and nobody was the least bit weird about it. It also made for a much better wedding because men and women from our different friend groups had already gotten a chance to meet each other and hang out.

The gender free thing also extended to the wedding - no weird "remember: the wife is always right!" poo poo from our officiant or anybody making toasts. It was great honestly.

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

My friend's bachlor party was us heading up to Funspot for a weekend and playing arcade games till our eyes hurt, getting sushi, then playing games on a friend's hacked x-box until our eyes hurt.

Richter Scabies
Dec 30, 2012

Woodchip posted:

B’donky Queen

Assbys

Thicees

Hard-deez

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

QuarkJets posted:

Why was Pick banned from the thread

Looks like they're just plane banned now...

AUTOBAN 11/18/19 05:43pm Pick Breaking the rules with a thoughtful thread! radium radium
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PROBATION 10/15/19 09:03pm Pick Stfu pick. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours. Burt Sexual Burt Sexual
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poo poo CUM ERRY DAY

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BAN 11/11/16 03:51am Pick The Republicans ran their absolute worst option by orders of magnitude, but even if they’d run their best, that candidate, too, would pale in comparison to the Democratic nominee, in policy, personality, and preparation. exmarx exmarx
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TIA. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours. Nostalgia4Infinity Nostalgia4Infinity
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Dancer
May 23, 2011

Power Khan posted:

Just Found Out My (27M) Fiancé’s (27F) Ex Boyfriend (53M) Was Married and Almost Twice Our Age.

so what you're telling me is, the person you're about to share finances with is not 50k in debt I dunno I call it a win

Dancer
May 23, 2011
you really should thank them

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
She's got dick debt to pay back though as she's still seeing the guy on the reg.

empty sea
Jul 17, 2011

gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset
I think I was 15-16 when my dad took me to Hooter's for lunch. It was really awkward. On the plus side, later when I was a desperate college student in a hoodie and who very clearly wasn't their up to their hiring standard, they didn't make me feel weird or bad about putting in an application.

So I'm mixed about Hooter's...obviously they are gross in general but they also treated me with full respect despite the fact that I was not a hot Hooter's employee material. Nobody blinked an eye at me submitting a resume. Obviously I didn't get a call back but the fact that nobody even hesitated or objected at it meant a lot. Sure, they never called me back but they accepted that application like loving champs.

Apply at a Hooter's. They will let you down gently. You...just aren't Hooter's hot and that's ok. Nobody wants to serve 40 year old men on Harley's they just bought last week, anyway.

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored
One of the women in my group of friends when I was a bit younger worked at Hooters. We tried hanging out there to watch games or w/e a couple times but the food was terrible and overpriced. They had some decent beer specials if you didn't mind drinking whatever trash light beer they had on-tap.

I went to a Twin Peaks in Orlando with my boss at the time (thinking it was a sports bar) and it really wasn't all that bad. More of the same, but better food and a better "sports bar" vibe with less emphasis on the creepy flirting stuff you see go on at Hooters a lot.

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Also I've never been to Tilted Kilt in my life and just assumed it was some generic Applebee's tier bar except Irish themed. I never knew it was a "hot waitresses" place like Hooters.

I looked up the menu and wtf. Like their idea of the pinnacle of Irish food is apparently a Reuben sandwich?!

(No, corned beef is not Irish. Sauerkraut definitely isn't. Swiss cheese, well, clues in the name dude)

AmiYumi
Oct 10, 2005

I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG
Hooters seemed so quaint that I didn’t understand why, in a world with strip clubs, anyone would bother. The kind of skeeze that would do business lunch at Hooters would probably rather be at a full-on titty bar.

Then I was at a convention, and let me tell you: the wings do actually kick rear end within the proper context of “chain restaurants near the hotel/convention center/airport”.

Went into a Tilted Kilt a few months later, and those outfits are downright pornographic for a restaurant that was entirely occupied by families with young children. Like, I’m not about post in-thread because it feels like they’d earn a probe, yet it was full of soccer moms and six year olds.

American suburbs are a hell of a drug.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!
I've seen more than one person say they have __ human children in a dating profile, I suspect the lizard people are gaining a foothold.

Peaceful Anarchy
Sep 18, 2005
sXe
I am the math man.

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I've seen more than one person say they have __ human children in a dating profile, I suspect the lizard people are gaining a foothold.
It's probably in response to all the dog/cat parents out there. It could be because they've experienced something in dates or maybe just a reaction to one of those people in their life.

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Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
People seem to think "furbabies" are equal to raising actual humans.

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