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DemoneeHo posted:AITA for calling my SIL a selfish oval office on her wedding day? This cannot be anyone's idea of a good time at a wedding. It's like an experimental CIA torture technique.
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Nov 20, 2019 12:02
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man (long) A pity he doesn't have more of a spine, because it seems like one of the few advantages of marrying young is that you can divorce young and still have a whole lot of you life ahead of you for a second try
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Nov 20, 2019 12:03
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The 3rd update. He's almost there but doesn't stick the landing. Blue balls the size of Violet Beauregarde. (3rd update)Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man quote:Thank you all who keep sending me messages of encouragement and wondering what has happened. For those of you who have asked me to give you an update, here is a brief one.
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Nov 20, 2019 12:05
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To think that idiot nearly stumbled accidentally into the right move
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Nov 20, 2019 12:07
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I gave her the paperwork in a manila envelope and explained what it was before she opened it. I also made very clear to her that I was not going to do anything with it unless we both failed to meet the conditions we both agreed upon. I explained that I was committed to us but I really needed to see that we were headed in the right direction and that this was only there as a standby in case she didn't think I was serious. posted:That line of reasoning is dumb as gently caress
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Nov 20, 2019 12:10
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Beachcomber posted:I can't recover the 2nd update to the cheating Wife, but he has a comment that says more about her headspace, and it's a trip. We got so much cheating here, I can't place where this one belongs to
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Nov 20, 2019 12:14
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This thread has led me to the conclusion that the divorce rate is not too high, but in fact, far too low
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Nov 20, 2019 12:15
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The thing about her reasoning that cheating stops counting after you get church married is that she’s basically saying, “husband, I have to tell you, there’s another man I care about and want to make happy more than you, and his name is Jesus Christ”
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Nov 20, 2019 12:18
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Power Khan posted:We got so much cheating here, I can't place where this one belongs to (2nd update)Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man Editing it in.
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Nov 20, 2019 12:18
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:Me [25 M] with my wife [23F], she informs me at sisters wedding she had slept with best man (long) Ok, there it is. loving insane.
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Nov 20, 2019 12:20
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How can I (29F) support my brother (36M) who has a horrible child (10M) that's ruining his life? Here's everyone involved: Me, 29F My husband, 29M Our daughter is 5 months old My brother 36M His wife 34F Their kids, 10M in the title, and 6F A few months ago my brother and his family came to visit us. It had been a very busy and exhausting few weeks since I'd had my daughter like anyone with a newborn will know. I was feeling well enough to see them and let them properly meet her. We were in the backyard eating lunch. My niece found a furry brown caterpillar in the bushes. The kids were told not to touch it because it could be poisonous. Around 20-30 mins later, my daughter starts screaming. Right as I looked and started going over to her I see my nephew stepping away from her bounce seat. I instantly knew he'd done something. There were red blotches all over her neck and cheek. When I picked her up, the caterpillar was there on the seat where her head had been. In total panic my husband and I rushed to the ER. My brother and his family stayed at the house. By the time we got there the whole side of her face had swelled up and she was shrieking nonstop. Doctor diagnosed pretty quickly, there were caterpillar spines lodged under her skin like we'd assumed. My nephew must have broken off the twig with the caterpillar (he hadn't been stung) then as soon as no one was looking while my daughter was asleep, he rubbed it on her face. I called my brother from the hospital, he confronted my nephew who eventually claimed he just "accidentally dropped it". He had no remorse as usual. My husband and I had to be interviewed by a child welfare worker. She talked to my brother who drove over to explain what had happened. It was a very long ordeal, I didn't blame her or the hospital people for doing their job at all and in the end my husband and I weren't at fault for doing anything wrong, but it was very exhausting to deal with. This was the absolute last straw for us. I was furious with this child. Enraged doesn't even begin to describe it. I was/am also frankly terrified for my brother's family even though I know how stupid that must sound. That weekend my husband and I had a long conversation with my brother and his wife on videochat after they'd gotten home. They are well aware something is very wrong with their son. They don't downplay his behavior at all. He scares them. When they punish him, he doesn't care. He doesn't react to any criticism, yelling, or logical argument, but he'll find a way to get revenge even if it's weeks later. He also doesn't care about rewards for good behavior. There's very little he openly cares about that they can use as leverage, and he seems to outright prefer doing destructive things more than anything they might take away or try to bribe him with. He's arranged tacks sitting upright on the floor outside their door that my brother's wife stepped on. He's pooped on their bed and once left poop and urine in every drawer of their clothes. He floods the bathroom by letting the tub overflow and leaves the gas stove on. He'll use the stove to play with fire when no one's around, and several times has set off the smoke detector in the middle of the night. They were all getting sick except him at one point and my SIL caught him mixing cleaner fluid into some leftover soup. He has done countless things to hurt and scare his younger sister like cutting off her hair while sleeping, putting chili pepper powder in her underwear, telling her someone is coming to kidnap her or kill their parents, and once caught a garden snake that he dropped in the tub while she was having a bubble bath. Those are just the ones that first jump to mind. He also is cruel to animals. Pulls wings off insects, cuts up worms, thinks it's funny to scare cats and dogs. They had a couple hamsters, one mysteriously died and the other they thought had escaped until it was found in a box under his bed with no legs. He tries to blame things he does on his sister including the caterpillar but my brother knows what's going on. Doesn't stop him from constantly lying to anyone and everyone. They do not know what to do. He's apparently very well-behaved at school, so his teachers have never seen any of this. There have been a couple times when he injured himself on purpose and then told a teacher he was being hit at home. Resulted in a CPS investigation both times. It was also conveniently right before parent-teacher conference week. My brother and his wife were never able to bring up their concerns or have a good rapport with those teachers then because they clearly believed they were child abusers. They've brought him to several child psychologists but he lies to them, either acting perfectly normal or telling them the same stories about how his parents are crazy or abusive, so they can't take him to anyone now in case they get investigated again. They're terrified that one day an accusation is going to stick and they'll lose their daughter, not to mention the legal consequences. I told them that as long as their son is hurting people, lying, and incapable of behaving, he cannot be in my daughter's presence. They have abided by this since then. The problem is, we miss seeing each other! They live a couple hours away and we used to visit a few times a year. They're already socially isolated because trying to manage their son takes so much of their time and energy. My SIL's family has also banned him from being around their children. He's been banned from other kids' houses and between that and the rumors that my brother and SIL are abusive, they've been slowly frozen out of their school community. They have a few childless friends still, but like I said they hardly have any ability to see them. They can't leave the kids with a babysitter because of things their son has done while being babysat in the past. It's beyond any stranger's ability to deal with especially the teenage girls they used to hire. So now my husband and I have essentially cut them off too. I feel so guilty about this knowing how little social support they've already got. They both understood we have to protect our daughter, but it was clear they're near a breaking point. He's destroying their lives and they often don't feel safe in their own home. I've seen them once since this went down while my husband stayed home with our baby, this was a couple nights ago. We ate dinner where their son was remarkably well behaved the whole time, then when we were saying goodbye he whispered "I wish you'd brought (Baby), her screams are adorable." I was too stunned to say anything and he just stood there with a poo poo eating smirk. My brother sounded totally defeated later when I mentioned it. They were just relieved he hadn't acted out during dinner. What on earth can we do to help? Has anyone ever known a kid like this and did you ever find any way to deal with them? This seems far beyond normal behavior problems, and nothing works. TL;DR: I can't do visits with my brother's family anymore because his son is out of control and will try to hurt my infant daughter. This is not my brother and SIL's fault and my husband and I want to find some way to help them.
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Nov 20, 2019 12:45
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My [M32] fiancee [F28] is telling me to stop talking about a female friend, preferably ending the friendship completely.quote:My fiancee is an amazing woman and I love her to bits. The only thing about our relationship that makes me scratch my head is how jealous I think she gets. But I'm not sure, maybe I'm the one in the wrong here and I can't see it?
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Nov 20, 2019 12:51
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Son sociopath, so what
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Nov 20, 2019 12:53
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WIBTA for asking my brother to not write a certain song with his band?quote:I’m 17f, brother is 19m, nearly 20. I’m on mobile, so formatting is all over the place.
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Nov 20, 2019 12:54
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Pinecone Sample posted:My [M32] fiancee [F28] is telling me to stop talking about a female friend, preferably ending the friendship completely. Run like the wind, my dude. That is some weapons grade insecurity.
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Nov 20, 2019 13:05
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MAKE NO BABBYS posted:Not actually “traditional” Scottish but more an affectation of the rich in the mid 1800s. Arguing that something isn't traditionally Scottish, but is the defacto wedding apparel in country. Good work! 
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Nov 20, 2019 13:35
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Power Khan posted:How can I (29F) support my brother (36M) who has a horrible child (10M) that's ruining his life? Kid is literally a sociopath. No remorse, no empathy, can act charming and nice when needed, good at lying.. Either get a child psychologist to commit him to a mental institution or set him up for a career in high finance.
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Nov 20, 2019 13:47
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Beachcomber posted:The 3rd update. He's almost there but doesn't stick the landing. Blue balls the size of Violet Beauregarde. I'd never judge someone for deciding to stay with a spouse who has cheated on them. That's a decision you've got to make on your own and if that's what you want to do, you can do it. But this guy, frankly, sounds like an idiot and I think the divorce has just been delayed a couple years and it'll be him getting dumped. This guy is just all over the place with his emotions and actions and after 3 updates hasn't really gained any insight into how he really feels. He's angry, okay, and when he shows that anger to his wife she has panic attacks and goes to the hospital and he switches to caring and protective. It's just a loop. He wants her to feel bad and suffer, and I get why, but I see this story taking the familiar path where the person cheated on neither forgives nor forgets, and the cheater gets tired of being made to feel like a sewer monster after a couple years and leaves him in order to reclaim their dignity and self-respect. If he isn't able to tell his wife "I forgive you" and mean it and not hold it over her head for the rest of his life, then there's no decision to be made here. They can divorce now or in a couple of years but you can't stay married to someone you hate.
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Nov 20, 2019 13:49
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AITA for Ditching my Cousin's Baby Shower and Taking the Food Away from the Party? UPDATE: My Dad heard the whole thing and told my mother about it, who was working in the kitchen. They both (politely) excused themselves afterwards and drove over to my place to talk about it. My Dad drove my half of the groceries to my cousin's place and then came back. There's now a massive feud on our family WhatsApp with two groups: Family who are sticking up for me and telling other people to stop provoking me (mostly older relatives). People who are saying I'm an rear end in a top hat (mostly the younger generation). My cousin and her boyfriend (soon-to-be-married) were having their baby shower and the whole family was invited to the party. My mother and aunts love to cook so they wanted to gather the ingredients and make a huge dinner themselves. I drove my car and my father drove his, and we basically pushed the shopping carts along and got our credit cards ready while the women shoveled everything they wanted into the carriages. We finally got everything to my cousin's place and we started off-loading my Dad's car first. While I was inside, I got a chance to say hi to my cousin to congratulate her on her baby shower. The conversation started off light, but took a weird turn. She asked me how my parents raised me, and specific details like if they grounded me, what kinds of punishment they used, what I did when I was little and what regrets I had as a kid that I would change. I thought they were trying to learn how to raise their child, but it was weird because I'm a single guy. They would've been better off asking my parents about these things. Here's where things get dark. I ask my cousin why she's asking me all this, and she says, "I just want to raise my baby better than you," That made no sense because I never raised any babies. The vibe I got was definitely that it was an insult but on the off-chance she wasn't intentionally being rude, I just laughed it off and said, "Well I'm no Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs, but I do alright for," I assumed she meant that she wanted to raise her baby to be better than me, which is fine since parents want the world for their kids. Nope, she just kept going. "Well that's true. Did your parents ever think you'd turn out this way?" I said, "Well I think they just wanted me to be happy," Her, "Are you?" Me, "Well I'm definitely happy for you, congratulations!" (I'm trying reaaaaaaally hard to steer things away from me). Her, "Thanks. Do you ever plan on having kids?" Me, "I just gotta find the right person, but until then I'm gonna enjoy life as is. There's no need to stress out wanting something else and taking what we have for granted." Her, "Sure... Well I'm younger than you and I already have a family. Don't wait too long... or else you might ending up dying alone," I ask her directly what she meant. She just laughs, shrugs, and leaves. I her again and she says, "Don't get angry at me, you're the one who refuses to go out and meet people. If you bothered to leave your house every once in a while maybe you'd have a family of your own by now. I just don't want my baby to end up like you," Everyone within earshot was dead-silent. I just stared at her for who knows how long and she just ends up rubbing her belly and waddling away. I leave, taking my car home and halfway there, I realize half the groceries are still in my car. At this point, I could have driven back and dumped it on the porch buuuuuuuuuuuut I decided gently caress It, screw her. I ignored all calls and texts, and just took a nap.
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Nov 20, 2019 14:02
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Holy gently caress that cheating one. It doesn’t count because we’re married now. Uh, gently caress no. She was sleeping around when the guy proposed to her. How the hell can you ever forgive a betrayal like that? And the idiot is never going to get over it, if he’s waving divorce papers in her face only to rip them up a minute later.
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Nov 20, 2019 14:13
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I [32M] have fallen out my with brother [30M] over how drunk he gets. quote:TL;DR - My brother got drunk at a party where I introduced him to my friends, spend all his money on alcohol and cigarettes, and I had to cover for him for the rest of the weekend. I got a bit short with him over this, and now we're not speaking. Brother ruins multiple European vacations but I have a good feeling about Istanbul if we stay on the Asian side of the Bosphorus!
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Nov 20, 2019 14:14
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The Bramble posted:
British_drinking_tourists_in Eastern_Europe.jpg The distillate of poo poo
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Nov 20, 2019 14:22
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Kitchner posted:Kid is literally a sociopath. I look forward to this kid becoming president one day.
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Nov 20, 2019 14:49
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Kitchner posted:Kid is literally a sociopath. I just wanna point out that sociopath and psychopath are different things and violence/aggression is a big part of the difference. This kid is a psychopath and there's literally nothing they can do about it; he'll never have the snap of self-awareness that sometimes takes a sociopath up a level to "just kind of an rear end in a top hat" because I don't think controlled psychopaths are a thing
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Nov 20, 2019 14:56
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:Pretty funny because Ichi the Killer is of course about someone that gets off sexually to violence, especially sexual violence. The opening scene has the title character splatter his ejactulate into a number 1 (ichi) if I remember correctly. Yeah, if your friend group has already seen Ichi the Killer you've kinda got free reign to pick whatever the hell you want after that.
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Nov 20, 2019 14:57
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Adopt the other child and move away, never to speak to them again. Then if the parents survive to 18 they too can disappear into the night. Ideally theyd leave fingerprints/blood sample/dna for the federal crime database first.
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Nov 20, 2019 15:06
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Power Khan posted:AITA for Ditching my Cousin's Baby Shower and Taking the Food Away from the Party? I would've kept all the groceries except the eggs, which would've been returned ballistically. Also  at the casual mention of a loving legless hamster corpse in the psycho kid's room. Isn't poo poo like that how horror movies start?
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Nov 20, 2019 15:26
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Barudak posted:Adopt the other child and move away, never to speak to them again. Then if the parents survive to 18 they too can disappear into the night. Ideally theyd leave fingerprints/blood sample/dna for the federal crime database first. Yeah, I'm worried about his sister, too. drat, there's no "happily ever after" in a situation like that.
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Nov 20, 2019 15:29
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TheKennedys posted:I just wanna point out that sociopath and psychopath are different things and violence/aggression is a big part of the difference. This kid is a psychopath and there's literally nothing they can do about it; he'll never have the snap of self-awareness that sometimes takes a sociopath up a level to "just kind of an rear end in a top hat" because I don't think controlled psychopaths are a thing I'm aware but honestly loads of people disagree on what the difference between the two is. Bottom line is the kid is seriously mentally disturbed, despite the fact he's a good liar and he manipulates his teachers.
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Nov 20, 2019 15:37
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Neito posted:Also Yep. That kid's gonna upgrade to legless human corpses if they don't do something.
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Nov 20, 2019 15:40
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TheKennedys posted:I just wanna point out that sociopath and psychopath are different things and violence/aggression is a big part of the difference. This kid is a psychopath and there's literally nothing they can do about it; he'll never have the snap of self-awareness that sometimes takes a sociopath up a level to "just kind of an rear end in a top hat" because I don't think controlled psychopaths are a thing Prognosis for psychopathic individuals is currently pretty poor, but there have been some studies that have shown promise in at least managing the more overt antisocial and criminal behaviors, particularly using reward-based management in institutional settings and certain medications. But the current research is still very young, and most of the subjects are already incarcerated. It's unlikely to really develop into something usable for that family for some time yet. Their kid is also at an age where some things can still change, though, if they do manage to get some help. Kids his age, and slightly older, who score high on the Psychopathy Checklist sometimes manage to not classify anymore by the time they're grown. Though, there is the question of if they just become better at hiding it, for those who aren't severe enough to end up in the legal system.
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Nov 20, 2019 15:45
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Power Khan posted:British_drinking_tourists_ Fixed that for you
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Nov 20, 2019 15:56
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The Bramble posted:the cheater gets tired of being made to feel like a sewer monster "I've GOT to!" Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 16:21 on Nov 20, 2019 |
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Nov 20, 2019 16:15
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Dazerbeams posted:Holy gently caress that cheating one. It doesn’t count because we’re married now. Uh, gently caress no. She was sleeping around when the guy proposed to her. How the hell can you ever forgive a betrayal like that? And the idiot is never going to get over it, if he’s waving divorce papers in her face only to rip them up a minute later. Yeah, he's a total loving idiot. How could he ever trust his wife again in 10 billion years? Why isn't he divorcing her? Every reason he gives and every new development he experiences with her shows that he should just run far, far away. His wife cheated on him multiple times, doesn't understand what she did was very wrong, and has regular panic attacks over losing him solely because of what she did to ruin their relationship, yet this dumbass still wants to stick around and learn to forgive his wife?!! What in the heck? It's even worse because he's only 25 and could just move on from this and have a successful marriage and family with another person who didn't cheat on him. Just walk away, dude.
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Nov 20, 2019 16:17
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Then they shouldn't have fuckin' cheated. It's not complicated. They are not owed forgiveness, or understanding. If they didn't want their SO to hate them, there's one simple, super easy trick: Don't Cheat On Them. This goes for both men and women. Well yeah, the solution is divorce if you can't forgive, that's what they're saying.
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Nov 20, 2019 16:19
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Then they shouldn't have fuckin' cheated. It's not complicated. They are not owed forgiveness, or understanding. If they didn't want their SO to hate them, there's one simple, super easy trick: Don't Cheat On Them. This goes for both men and women. There is no point where their lives transform into a parody of that one Superdickery comic cover. "You mustn't cheat on your partner!" I'm saying the onus for repairing the relationship after cheating, paradoxically, falls on the person who was cheated on. Ultimately the heavy lift of forgiveness is on them, not the person who cheated. I think a lot of people don't recognize that and so remain in dead relationship making themselves and their partner miserable for years until someone breaks from it. If you can't forgive cheating, then cut the cord early and don't waste your time trying to have it both ways with your eternal anger and undisrupted coupled life.
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Nov 20, 2019 16:49
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Wtf do you do with a ____path kid? I remember hearing the This American Life about those kids and it was terrifying.
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Nov 20, 2019 16:51
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Tater Love 
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for picking a film with excessive nudity for movie night? As someone who has seen Ichi the Killer, I would be way more comfortable with someone who wants to show me a soft-core porn than Ichi the Killer.
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Nov 20, 2019 16:51
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zakharov posted:Wtf do you do with a ____path kid? I remember hearing the This American Life about those kids and it was terrifying. Interesting article on therapy that may help kids with really profound problems like that. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/when-your-child-is-a-psychopath/524502/
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Nov 20, 2019 16:59
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duck trucker posted:As someone who has seen Ichi the Killer, I would be way more comfortable with someone who wants to show me a soft-core porn than Ichi the Killer.  Ichi the Killer is gross as gently caress and not in an intriguing art house movie way. It's just disgusting and bad.
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Nov 20, 2019 17:07
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