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a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Flikken posted:

Name a Browns HC retread not named Bill that had any success!??

marty

depending on how you define success

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Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

Benne posted:

On the other hand, I don't know what to do with myself when we're almost in December and the Bills coach is nowhere near the hot seat. That might be a first since I started doing these threads.
This is McDermott's third year, I'm just as confused as you. Do...do other teams not have a new head coach every 2-3 years?

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit




Grimey Drawer
I think Kitchens is probably not spicy hot at this point. He could be in trouble if he loses out, but I feel like he's gonna end up 7-9 possibly up to 9-7(assuming we win the should win games(Bengals x2) and the coinflip games(@Steelers, @Cardinals). Even with some of the woes this season, I can't see the Browns firing a coach who went 7-9 or better in his first year.

LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

My gone list:
Zac Taylor - I just don't see how they avoid going 0-16 at this rate. I feel that's an insta fire.
Freddie Kitchens
Pat Shurmur - The Giants look like trash. They need to completely clean house.
Vic Fangio - The Broncos are going in the wrong direction and he hasn't even been a boost for the Defense. Completely clueless.
Doug Marrone - Doug Marrone
Ron Rivera - he's ran his course in Carolina
Dan Quinn - lol
Matt Patricia - Not exactly his fault that Stafford is dead, but I don't see what vision he brings to Detroit.
Mike Zimmer - Will be the mystery late entrance to the sweepstakes when the Vikings are bounced out of the playoffs on WC weekend

'Mutually agreed to part ways bonus zone'
Jason Garrett

50-50
Anthony Lynn - I'm not sure a playoff one and done last year will save him if the Chargers continue to free fall
Matt Nagy - Will they blame Tittiekisser on him? Stay tuned.

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

a neat cape posted:

marty

depending on how you define success

Well poo poo, you went farther back than I intended.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Flikken posted:

Well poo poo, you went farther back than I intended.

Better than me, I was going to bring up Paul Brown before I noticed he really kinda sucked with the Bengals.

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Grittybeard posted:

Better than me, I was going to bring up Paul Brown before I noticed he really kinda sucked with the Bengals.

Ok Art Modell fired coaches


Paul Brown
Marty Schottenheimer
Bill Belicheck

Adun
Apr 15, 2001

Publicola
Fun Shoe

LiquidFriend posted:

My gone list:
Zac Taylor - I just don't see how they avoid going 0-16 at this rate. I feel that's an insta fire.
Freddie Kitchens
Pat Shurmur - The Giants look like trash. They need to completely clean house.
Vic Fangio - The Broncos are going in the wrong direction and he hasn't even been a boost for the Defense. Completely clueless.
Doug Marrone - Doug Marrone
Ron Rivera - he's ran his course in Carolina
Dan Quinn - lol
Matt Patricia - Not exactly his fault that Stafford is dead, but I don't see what vision he brings to Detroit.
Mike Zimmer - Will be the mystery late entrance to the sweepstakes when the Vikings are bounced out of the playoffs on WC weekend

'Mutually agreed to part ways bonus zone'
Jason Garrett

50-50
Anthony Lynn - I'm not sure a playoff one and done last year will save him if the Chargers continue to free fall
Matt Nagy - Will they blame Tittiekisser on him? Stay tuned.

The Vikings aren't going to fire Zim if he makes it to the playoffs. If they were going to fire him for that they would've done it last year.

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit




Grimey Drawer
Paul Brown also depends on how you define success. He did successfully found a team out of spite, including using the exact same shade of orange as a troll.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

LiquidFriend posted:


50-50
Anthony Lynn - I'm not sure a playoff one and done last year will save him if the Chargers continue to free fall
Matt Nagy - Will they blame Tittiekisser on him? Stay tuned.

A 9-7 year, a 12-4 year (i dont think you know what one and done means), and one bad year derailed by injuries and a QB who's fallen off a cliff.

Lynn isn't going anywhere

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013
Lynn is safe since the Chargers won a playoff game last year. And even if they lost out, the Spanoses are cheap asses to the point where they don't dump coaches unless they have a year left on the deal. Chances are they pass the buck on this season to Rivers and probably give him the opportunity to rebuild the team after Philip leaves/maybe retires.

LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

a neat cape posted:

A 9-7 year, a 12-4 year (i dont think you know what one and done means), and one bad year derailed by injuries and a QB who's fallen off a cliff.

Lynn isn't going anywhere
I dont know why I thought they lost wc weekend

E: Oh right, I think I mixed the Saturday night loss and the WildCard wins.

LiquidFriend fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Nov 25, 2019

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

Move Adam Gase's seat to frosty.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
Jason Garrett is somehow going to survive this season and I'll have to see his face again. This will annoy me even though I don't want Dallas to be any good.

Adun
Apr 15, 2001

Publicola
Fun Shoe

Grittybeard posted:

Jason Garrett is somehow going to survive this season and I'll have to see his face again. This will annoy me even though I don't want Dallas to be any good.

Garrett (or his agent) are already floating stories about how he’d love to coach the giants so even he must see the writing on the wall

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Adun posted:

Garrett (or his agent) are already floating stories about how he’d love to coach the giants so even he must see the writing on the wall

The sucking wind motion I just made as I'm having trouble wishing that evil on even the Giants.

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Fire Adam Gase.

Bring in Jason Garrett.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Adun posted:

Garrett (or his agent) are already floating stories about how he’d love to coach the giants so even he must see the writing on the wall

or putting the thought in jerry's sildenafil addled brain that he'll go to ny and take all the PRECIOUS SECRETS of the cowboys with him

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret
If the Giants fire Shurmur, Gettleman is still there, so they’ll hire someone like Ron Rivera, John Fox, or the corpse of Dan Reeves again and continue to let the offensive line be a series of turnstiles.

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




Adun posted:

Garrett (or his agent) are already floating stories about how he’d love to coach the giants so even he must see the writing on the wall

I don't think the Mara's are stupid enough to fall for that...

FizFashizzle posted:

or putting the thought in jerry's sildenafil addled brain that he'll go to ny and take all the PRECIOUS SECRETS of the cowboys with him

Yeah, that makes much more sense.

Gerund
Sep 12, 2007

He push a man


Ron Rivera taking the Giants job is only going to happen if he doesn't want to go home to his wife for a year.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

New Love Glow


Bye you stupid bitch. Every team you leave is immediately better off. Titan Up

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

thrilla in vanilla posted:

Bye you stupid bitch. Every team you leave is immediately better off. Titan Up
Syracuse went back to being one of the worst teams in college football and the Bills immediately hired Rex Ryan.

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

thrilla in vanilla posted:



Bye you stupid bitch. Every team you leave is immediately better off. Titan Up

I was so excited, I thought they had just fired him :smith:

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

New Love Glow

Diva Cupcake posted:

Syracuse went back to being one of the worst teams in college football and the Bills immediately hired Rex Ryan.

I stand by what I said

Doctor Teeth
Sep 12, 2008


i wonder if the "wesley sneijder to manchester united???? will highly touted HC prospect dave toub get a HC job???" headlines will start showing up again

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Grittybeard posted:

Jason Garrett is somehow going to survive this season and I'll have to see his face again. This will annoy me even though I don't want Dallas to be any good.

This is me, hard :same:

Kalli posted:

The sucking wind motion I just made as I'm having trouble wishing that evil on even the Giants.

:hmmyes:

Shinji2015
Aug 31, 2007
Keen on the hygiene and on the mission like a super technician.

LiquidFriend posted:

My gone list:
Zac Taylor - I just don't see how they avoid going 0-16 at this rate. I feel that's an insta fire.
Freddie Kitchens
Pat Shurmur - The Giants look like trash. They need to completely clean house.
Vic Fangio - The Broncos are going in the wrong direction and he hasn't even been a boost for the Defense. Completely clueless.
Doug Marrone - Doug Marrone
Ron Rivera - he's ran his course in Carolina
Dan Quinn - lol
Matt Patricia - Not exactly his fault that Stafford is dead, but I don't see what vision he brings to Detroit.
Mike Zimmer - Will be the mystery late entrance to the sweepstakes when the Vikings are bounced out of the playoffs on WC weekend

'Mutually agreed to part ways bonus zone'
Jason Garrett

50-50
Anthony Lynn - I'm not sure a playoff one and done last year will save him if the Chargers continue to free fall
Matt Nagy - Will they blame Tittiekisser on him? Stay tuned.

Given how long Marvin Lewis held on, I think Zac Taylor gets another season, but if he sniffs the basement again next season, he'll be cut.

Fangio I could go either way, but I wouldn't be shocked if Elway is fired first.

Zimmer, no way. Unless they lose out the season, they're going to the playoffs, and are good enough to advance past WC weekend (especially if they play the eventual NFCE winner).

Rest of the list I generally agree with.

Also, if Jerry finally fires Garrett, does Dallas become the #1 choice for a HC, or does having to deal with Jerry kill a lot of the attractiveness of it? You don't have to do a team rebuild, and if you're even moderately better than Garrett there, you're probably going to have a great first season, and I can imagine that being very appealing to a new HC.

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




Shinji2015 posted:

Fangio I could go either way, but I wouldn't be shocked if Elway is fired first.

Who is going to fire Elway? Pat's dead and his kids are fighting each other for the team.

John Elway basically owns the Broncos until the lawsuits are figured out.

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

I think hc of the Cowboys would be extremely attractive, Jerruh or not.

Shinji2015
Aug 31, 2007
Keen on the hygiene and on the mission like a super technician.

LabyaMynora posted:

Who is going to fire Elway? Pat's dead and his kids are fighting each other for the team.

John Elway basically owns the Broncos until the lawsuits are figured out.

That's true, I completely forgot about the Broncos' ownership situation.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!
Long as Jerry retains Dak and Amari Dallas would be THE coaching destination.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010

Against All Tyrants

Ultra Carp
So because I've gotten extremely annoyed at the talking point that "You have to give a coach three years, you can't fire Patricia now!", here's a list of every coach since 2002 that started with two full losing seasons and wasn't fired:

Dom Capers, Texans, 2002-2003: 9-23, 18-36 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
Steve Mariucci, Lions, 2003-2004: 11-21, 15-28 overall (Fired during 3rd Season)
Mike Nolan, 49ers 2005-2006: 11-21, 18-37 overall (Fired during 4th Season)
Romeo Crennel, Browns, 2005-2006: 10-22, 24-30 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
Rod Marinelli, Lions, 2006-2007: 10-22, 10-38 overall (Fired after 3rd Season)
Dick Jauron, Bills, 2006-2007: 14-18, 24-33 overall (Fired during 4th Season)
Steve Spagnuolo, Rams, 2009-2010: 8-24, 10-38 overall (Fired after 3rd Season)
Jim Schwartz, Lions, 2009-2010: 8-24, 29-51 overall (Fired after 5th Season)
Mike Shanahan, Redskins, 2010-2011: 11-21, 24-40 overall (fired after 4th Season)
Chan Gailey, Bills, 2010-2011: 10-22, 16-32 overall (Fired after 3rd season)
Pete Carroll, Seahawks, 2010-2011: 14-18 (1-1 Postseason), 98-56-1 overall (9-6 postseason) (Still coaching)
Ron Rivera, Panthers, 2011-2012: 13-19, 76-62-1 overall (3-4 Postseason) (Still coaching)
Jeff Fisher, Rams, 2012-2013: 14-17-1 (Fired during 5th Season)
Dennis Allen, Raiders, 2012-2013: 8-24, 8-28 overall (Fired during 3rd season)
Greg Schiano, Buccaneers, 2012-2013: 11-21, 19-45 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
Gus Bradley, Jaguars, 2013-2014: 7-25, 15-49 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
John Fox, Bears, 2015-2016: 9-23, 14-34 overall (Fired after 3rd Season)
Hue Jackson, Browns, 2016-17: 1-31, 3-36-1 overall (Fired during 3rd Season)
Kyle Shanahan, 49ers, 2017-2018: 10-22, 19-23 overall (Still coaching)

wow would you look at that, two coaches with a winning record out of 19 (Plus Shanahan, to be completely fair). Can't fire Patricia guys, there's an 11-16% chance he might not be poo poo!!!

e: there's a really depressing number of Lions coaches on this list.

LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

Shinji2015 posted:

Given how long Marvin Lewis held on, I think Zac Taylor gets another season, but if he sniffs the basement again next season, he'll be cut.

Fangio I could go either way, but I wouldn't be shocked if Elway is fired first.

Zimmer, no way. Unless they lose out the season, they're going to the playoffs, and are good enough to advance past WC weekend (especially if they play the eventual NFCE winner).

Rest of the list I generally agree with.

Also, if Jerry finally fires Garrett, does Dallas become the #1 choice for a HC, or does having to deal with Jerry kill a lot of the attractiveness of it? You don't have to do a team rebuild, and if you're even moderately better than Garrett there, you're probably going to have a great first season, and I can imagine that being very appealing to a new HC.
I think at this point, the Garrett era has just ran its course fully. Don't think he's going to bring any new wrinkles to the team and Jerry has to be getting desperate to do something with a fairly decent roster.

Vikings will always be hoping Kirk Cousins doesn't have a meltdown type of performance.

I was real back and forth on Taylor and the Bengals. First thought is no way you can return a guy after 0-16, but hell the Browns did (great example) and Mike Brown is probably too cheap to buy out Taylor.

Now for replacing Jason Garrett. While giving Urban Meyer a blank check to gently caress on off with migraines after a couple of years would be amusing, I think replacing Garrett with Matt Rhule could be a great move.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


LiquidFriend posted:

Now for replacing Jason Garrett. While giving Urban Meyer a blank check to gently caress on off with migraines after a couple of years would be amusing, I think replacing Garrett with Matt Rhule could be a great move.

I will always be skeptical of the chances of a hotshot college coach successfully making the leap to the pros. Coaching a bunch of 18-22 (and 26) year olds is an entirely different ballgame than coaching grown-rear end men

Gerund
Sep 12, 2007

He push a man


Acebuckeye13 posted:

So because I've gotten extremely annoyed at the talking point that "You have to give a coach three years, you can't fire Patricia now!", here's a list of every coach since 2002 that started with two full losing seasons and wasn't fired:

Dom Capers, Texans, 2002-2003: 9-23, 18-36 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
Steve Mariucci, Lions, 2003-2004: 11-21, 15-28 overall (Fired during 3rd Season)
Mike Nolan, 49ers 2005-2006: 11-21, 18-37 overall (Fired during 4th Season)
Romeo Crennel, Browns, 2005-2006: 10-22, 24-30 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
Rod Marinelli, Lions, 2006-2007: 10-22, 10-38 overall (Fired after 3rd Season)
Dick Jauron, Bills, 2006-2007: 14-18, 24-33 overall (Fired during 4th Season)
Steve Spagnuolo, Rams, 2009-2010: 8-24, 10-38 overall (Fired after 3rd Season)
Jim Schwartz, Lions, 2009-2010: 8-24, 29-51 overall (Fired after 5th Season)
Mike Shanahan, Redskins, 2010-2011: 11-21, 24-40 overall (fired after 4th Season)
Chan Gailey, Bills, 2010-2011: 10-22, 16-32 overall (Fired after 3rd season)
Pete Carroll, Seahawks, 2010-2011: 14-18 (1-1 Postseason), 98-56-1 overall (9-6 postseason) (Still coaching)
Ron Rivera, Panthers, 2011-2012: 13-19, 76-62-1 overall (3-4 Postseason) (Still coaching)
Jeff Fisher, Rams, 2012-2013: 14-17-1 (Fired during 5th Season)
Dennis Allen, Raiders, 2012-2013: 8-24, 8-28 overall (Fired during 3rd season)
Greg Schiano, Buccaneers, 2012-2013: 11-21, 19-45 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
Gus Bradley, Jaguars, 2013-2014: 7-25, 15-49 overall (Fired after 4th Season)
John Fox, Bears, 2015-2016: 9-23, 14-34 overall (Fired after 3rd Season)
Hue Jackson, Browns, 2016-17: 1-31, 3-36-1 overall (Fired during 3rd Season)
Kyle Shanahan, 49ers, 2017-2018: 10-22, 19-23 overall (Still coaching)

wow would you look at that, two coaches with a winning record out of 19 (Plus Shanahan, to be completely fair). Can't fire Patricia guys, there's an 11-16% chance he might not be poo poo!!!

e: there's a really depressing number of Lions coaches on this list.

You really can't use Pete beating the defending SB winners at home with a 7-9 record in this anyway....

But Patricia is going to draft Tua in the 1st and get to four years, that's the move since he gets to punt on Stafford already and sell himself as a Future Guy.

YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

SKULL.GIF posted:

I will always be skeptical of the chances of a hotshot college coach successfully making the leap to the pros. Coaching a bunch of 18-22 (and 26) year olds is an entirely different ballgame than coaching grown-rear end men

Well it’s not like there’s a wealth of great head coaching candidates out there in the nfl coordinator ranks. Is hiring a guy who has succeeded with lesser talent in the ncaa any worse than hiring the most recent qb coach that passed through Sean Mcvays line of site, or brought Andy Reid ribs? Moving from nfl coordinator to head coach is a pretty different ballgame too.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

SKULL.GIF posted:

I will always be skeptical of the chances of a hotshot college coach successfully making the leap to the pros. Coaching a bunch of 18-22 (and 26) year olds is an entirely different ballgame than coaching grown-rear end men

I think a lot of the disciplinarian type coaches have trouble with that. I don't know enough about Matt Rhule to know his personality.

He does have at least some NFL experience (2012 Giants assistant OL coach before he took the Temple job) so he probably knows the score at least a little bit?

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

I think dallas would be awful if you're a high energy blue chip head coaching prospect. the right fit is probably another garrett type guy that's fine getting trampled on by coordinators and jerry.

like, the way it's going the next cowboys coach is going to be stuck with marinelli and richard, right? and probably kellen moore.

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LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

SKULL.GIF posted:

I will always be skeptical of the chances of a hotshot college coach successfully making the leap to the pros. Coaching a bunch of 18-22 (and 26) year olds is an entirely different ballgame than coaching grown-rear end men
It's a fair point, but I think I'd take a chance on a NCAA guy over someone that once waited Sean McVay's table in LA.

Rhule has had good results in some pretty bad situations.

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