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Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Some people don’t feel intense emotions the way others do, but love is defined as a deep emotional attachment. An intense affection. If it doesn’t matter to you one way or another if someone isn’t there in your life, that doesn’t strike me as love.

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Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
From the archives, apparently.

quote:

Dear Prudence,
In the summer of 2011 my wife and I purchased a top-of-the-line Jopen vibrator. We used it a few times and were just beginning to really integrate it into our sex lives when my wife died suddenly of a heart attack. (The vibrator had nothing to do with that.) Now, more than a year later, I’ve begun to date again. I’ve met a woman with an open mind, and I’m thinking she might be interested in using the vibrator. But I’m not sure how, or whether, to suggest it. Is it creepy to offer a dead woman’s vibrator to someone else? And if so what else can I do with it? Sell it on Craigslist? It’s an expensive piece of equipment, barely used, and it should be employed (and loved) once again. All of my wife’s other major possessions found wonderful new homes with dear friends of hers. But then again, a vibrator’s got a different—well, vibe about it. Sell it, toss it, or share it?

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Pirate Radar posted:

From the archives, apparently.

RRR

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
I think if you sell it, you kind of have to tell people it’s haunted. You might get more money that way.

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



Sagebrush posted:

i think that "let's have a big family party on the day of the called-off wedding" is the ideal thing to do, actually. much better than sitting at home feeling sad
:agreed:

That said, it’s super weird that they decided to go with the “huh, totally forgot that you were supposed to be married that day,” rather than simply saying that they wanted to make sure she had something to keep her mind off things.

Pirate Radar posted:

From the archives, apparently.

We used it a few times and were just beginning to really integrate it into our sex lives when my wife died suddenly of a heart attack. (The vibrator had nothing to do with that.)

Sell it online, but lean into the death part: “Vibrator so awesome that it literally exploded the last person’s heart” would be a goddamned gold mine.

JaneError
Feb 4, 2016

how would i even breathe on the moon?
Dupe

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

DEATHVIBRATOR 2: TUBBY VIBRATIONS

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Pirate Radar posted:

I think if you sell it, you kind of have to tell people it’s haunted. You might get more money that way.

He'll get an even better price if he claims that she had a heart attack while using it

efb

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Dazerbeams posted:

Some people don’t feel intense emotions the way others do, but love is defined as a deep emotional attachment. An intense affection. If it doesn’t matter to you one way or another if someone isn’t there in your life, that doesn’t strike me as love.

Not wailing about someone's death to the high heavens doesn't mean you didnt love them or care about them in life. Stop being obtuse.

The lady that wrote she didnt care if her loved ones died on reddit is an obvious sociopath, but that stopped being what people were talking about almost immediately.

extremely online
Mar 23, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

FoolyCharged posted:

Not wailing about someone's death to the high heavens doesn't mean you didnt love them or care about them in life. Stop being obtuse.

No one ever said that was required. That is not a part of the reddit OP, that is not a part of what anybody has said here, that is literally made up bullshit. Why tell this lie? Seriously why?

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

extremely online posted:

No one ever said that was required. That is not a part of the reddit OP, that is not a part of what anybody has said here, that is literally made up bullshit. Why tell this lie? Seriously why?

ulex minor posted:

'the permanent loss of you from my life will not effect me emotionally in any negative way' is not a statement you should be able to make to someone you actually love imo

Of course it's not part of the reddit op. I explicitly said she was a clear sociopath given her responses in the comments.

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
Spot the buried lede!

quote:


WIBTA if I move states to force my daughter to end affiliation with a certain group?

u/anotherkindofman6h
I just turned 45 recently. My only daughter is 16. Her mother died horribly two years ago. Because it was drawn out, she was able to write her "last words." It was a list of grievances about me. My daughter read the letter.

Following my wife's death, my daughter has gone "off the deep end," so to speak. She immediately posted the letter to social media. Soon after, she asked me to end the cello lessons she had been participating in since childhood, dyed her hair a distasteful shade of red, and started hanging out with this new group of people. Her grades have been plummeting as well.

I can only describe them as hedonists. They are mixed in age and ethnicity. I know they take drugs and vandalize. Our family assistant told me she has asked him for money on two occasions. She wouldn't specify what it was for.

I've tried absolutely everything. I took her to the most highly recommended therapist I could find. I never slandered her, even after she posted the letter. When I asked her why she was behaving this way, she told me I had always been cold to her and her mother and that I had never loved them. She cited the year-long affair I had while my wife was pregnant as evidence. She also told me we only had a family assistant because I was too lazy to be a true father.

My patience is at an end. My last idea is moving states to uproot her from this negative sphere of influence she is trapped in. WIBTA if I go through with it? I have no further ideas.

From the comments

quote:

anotherkindofman6h
I didn't want to seem like "a certain group" was a certain race. It isn't. Filth knows no tone.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan
I thought it was “family assistant” and then got to the affair bit. Indiscriminate application of the guillotine would solve all their problems

extremely online
Mar 23, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

FoolyCharged posted:

Of course it's not part of the reddit op. I explicitly said she was a clear sociopath given her responses in the comments.

And I explicitly said that nobody here said it either. That post you quoted doesn't, at all. Again I ask, why tell this lie?

Peaceful Anarchy
Sep 18, 2005
sXe
I am the math man.

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I thought it was “family assistant” and then got to the affair bit. Indiscriminate application of the guillotine would solve all their problems
Yeah, I know the buried lede is supposed to be that the OP is racist, but I can't get past “family assistant.”

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


There's a whole pile of buried ledes in there, wow!

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

extremely online posted:

And I explicitly said that nobody here said it either. That post you quoted doesn't, at all. Again I ask, why tell this lie?

I JUST WANTED TO MOURN MY WIFE BY JERKING OFF A STRIPPER LET ME HAVE MY PEACE

Trapick
Apr 17, 2006

extremely online posted:

No one ever said that was required. That is not a part of the reddit OP, that is not a part of what anybody has said here, that is literally made up bullshit. Why tell this lie? Seriously why?
People have claimed itt that if you're not very upset/in serious grief when a person dies, you clearly did not love them (or are a lovely person, or a sociopath). That's probably true for most people - I would be a wreck if my wife or mom died, but not if that dude at work I talked to twice did - but I don't think it's some hard requirement. How you act towards someone while they're alive matters a lot more. Did you/would you sacrifice for them? Treat them well? Make them feel loved? etc. Like if a person is willing to donate a kidney to their spouse but wouldn't give a poo poo about their funeral, are they a monster?

extremely online
Mar 23, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Trapick posted:

People have claimed itt that if you're not very upset/in serious grief when a person dies, you clearly did not love them (or are a lovely person, or a sociopath). That's probably true for most people - I would be a wreck if my wife or mom died, but not if that dude at work I talked to twice did - but I don't think it's some hard requirement. How you act towards someone while they're alive matters a lot more. Did you/would you sacrifice for them? Treat them well? Make them feel loved? etc. Like if a person is willing to donate a kidney to their spouse but wouldn't give a poo poo about their funeral, are they a monster?

My dude, I am not asking to rehash the whole goddamn conversation. I am asking a possibly hallucinating goon why he's mad about posts that do not exist.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

Yeah, I know the buried lede is supposed to be that the OP is racist, but I can't get past “family assistant.”

He needs a family assistant to help him bury all the other ledes. It’s too much work for just one person.

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

Pirate Radar posted:

He needs a family assistant to help him bury all the other ledes. It’s too much work for just one person.

Ledes of *gasp* varying ethnic backgrounds

Trapick
Apr 17, 2006

extremely online posted:

My dude, I am not asking to rehash the whole goddamn conversation. I am asking a possibly hallucinating goon why he's mad about posts that do not exist.
Ok fair. There was a really definite ableist streak in the discussion a couple pages back, I think I was still reacting. My bad.

Also racist dude with the family assistant talks like he's from the 1800s, what the poo poo. Also lol at red being some big scary colour for a teenage girl to dye their hair.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

extremely online posted:

My dude, I am not asking to rehash the whole goddamn conversation. I am asking a possibly hallucinating goon why he's mad about posts that do not exist.

Nah, I'm mad about posts that do exist. Like the one I quoted. Like the other ones that Trapick referenced. There's this neat literary device called hyperbole. I don't legit believe that anyone thinks you must do the darth vader "noooooooooooo!" when a loved one dies to not be a sociopath. I do believe people indirectly called me a sociopath because death doesn't bother me the way it does for a lot of people who haven't lost a whole bunch of their loved ones all at once. Because they did. I literally quoted someone doing that.

extremely online
Mar 23, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

FoolyCharged posted:

Nah, I'm mad about posts that do exist.
Then quote one. That post literally had absolutely nothing in it like what you're whining about. If somebody said that "wailing" is mandatory then loving quote it.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

extremely online posted:

[quote="FoolyCharged" post="500455845"]
Nah, I'm mad about posts that do exist.

Then quote one. That post literally had absolutely nothing in it like what you're whining about. If somebody said that "wailing" is mandatory then loving quote it.

You should read the rest of that post, past that first sentence that you tried to quote

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

teen witch posted:

Spot the buried lede!


From the comments

is the lede that this girl sounds cool as hell

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

extremely online posted:

Then quote one. That post literally had absolutely nothing in it like what you're whining about. If somebody said that "wailing" is mandatory then loving quote it.

I CANT FOCUS ON THIS HANDIE WITH ALL THIS GRIEVING TALK SHUT THE gently caress UP SO I CAN GET THE STRIPPER LOAD I PAID FOR

ulex minor
Apr 30, 2018
this is some strategic posting on FoolyCharged's part because i am definitely starting to feel a lot more chipper about the concept of death in general

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


The correct nickname for McDonald's is obviously Don's, no nonsense just one syllable that sounds kinda funny

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

also, everyone grieves differently. get over it

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

OMGVBFLOL posted:

is the lede that this girl sounds cool as hell

He's clearly human scum since he has a "family assistant" to handle his daughter and his plan to parent is to move her to a new location and try to socially isolate her.

Legit hope his heart explodes while he's doing rails of coke off a hooker's tits and she inherits all his money.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
I hope the family assistant gets the money

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

pentyne posted:

He's clearly human scum since he has a "family assistant" to handle his daughter and his plan to parent is to move her to a new location and try to socially isolate her.

Legit hope his heart explodes while he's doing rails of coke off a hooker's tits and she inherits all his money.

He’s a loving Disney villain of a dad

OMGVBFLOL posted:

also, everyone grieves differently. get over it

That’s what I’ve been trying to say here

Tiny Timbs
Sep 6, 2008

FoolyCharged posted:

Nah, I'm mad about posts that do exist. Like the one I quoted. Like the other ones that Trapick referenced. There's this neat literary device called hyperbole. I don't legit believe that anyone thinks you must do the darth vader "noooooooooooo!" when a loved one dies to not be a sociopath. I do believe people indirectly called me a sociopath because death doesn't bother me the way it does for a lot of people who haven't lost a whole bunch of their loved ones all at once. Because they did. I literally quoted someone doing that.

I’ll directly call you a sociopath for unthinkingly making us endure these posts

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

Sir this is a chippendales

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

I was thinking "family assistant" might just be a counselor from the state because the mom died and the kid obviously didn't live with the dad before.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

pentyne posted:

He's clearly human scum since he has a "family assistant" to handle his daughter and his plan to parent is to move her to a new location and try to socially isolate her.

Legit hope his heart explodes while he's doing rails of coke off a hooker's tits and she inherits all his money.

Pretty rude to make a hooker your primary beneficiary

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

pentyne posted:

He's clearly human scum since he has a "family assistant" to handle his daughter and his plan to parent is to move her to a new location and try to socially isolate her.

Legit hope his heart explodes while he's doing rails of coke off a hooker's tits and she inherits all his money.

Yeah. He's sounding textbook abuser.

Fallom posted:

I’ll directly call you a sociopath for unthinkingly making us endure these posts

A fair point. I'll can it.

extremely online
Mar 23, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

QuarkJets posted:

You should read the rest of that post, past that first sentence that you tried to quote

I do not owe anyone who calls flat-out lying "a literary device" a line-by-line response.

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The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

professor metis posted:

There's a whole pile of buried ledes in there, wow!

The lede is buried under a pile of other ledes.

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