quote:

AITA for installing a lock on my bedroom door, and keeping it locked when I'm not there?
Everyone Sucks
My wife has a nasty habit of biting her nails. And she's not super on top of keeping her hands washed.

I like to eat handfuls of shredded cheese as a snack.

My wife will take my bag of cheese out of the fridge and stick her unwashed hand into my cheese, immediately after taking her fingers out of her mouth.

That is loving disgusting IMO. Now the whole bag of cheese is ruined, and my snack is gone.

So I started buying her her own bags of cheese. I clearly labeled each bag with either her name or mine.

FF to the next morning, and she has my bag of cheese. Hers is still sitting in the fridge (opened, and contaminated by her unwashed hands). She didn't bother checking the labels. So now she has two bags of cheese, and I have 0.

Next step: I buy a mini fridge and put it in my bedroom. We have seperate bedrooms, so I figured I was solving the problem.

But NO. 3 days later, I get home from work and she's sitting on my bed, eating my bag of cheese. There was still plenty of cheese in the main fridge. This is not a money issue. I don't care if she eats 100 bags of cheese. I just want my cheese to be my cheese, so I know it hasn't had unwashed hands in it.

So I installed a deadbolt on my bedroom door, and I keep my room locked whenever I am not home. Now my cheese is safe. My wife still has plenty of cheese to eat. She just no longer has access to my loving cheese.

She says it shouldn't matter, since we kiss all the time. But I don't want to eat cheese that has someone else's stale saliva on it. No matter how much I love her, food safety is food safety. She is introducing germs into a fertile breeding ground, and I just can't get over that. I need my cheese to be clean.

So, AITA?

quote:

it's your wife and you don't only have separate bedrooms (wtf?)

I get that it isn't common. But we have our reasons:

She snores.

I snore.

She likes to sleep in a 72 degree room, while I prefer a 66 degree room.

She's a blanket hog.

We are polyamorous, and sometimes we need our own separate beds for "activities".

We keep different schedules. I wake up at midnight and go to sleep at 6pm. She wakes up at noon and goes to sleep at 10pm. I don't want to wake her up coming to bed, and vice versa.

We can afford it. Everyone should have their own space if they can afford to, IMO. Everyone deserves to have some place that is theirs and theirs alone.

but you don't let her into yours... seems pretty weird to me, but that's besides the point.

I would have no problem letting her in my room, if she would accept that my cheese is my cheese. There was no lock on this door last week. We've been married for 28 years. This is a new problem.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

AITA For off on a coworker for not respecting my bathroom schedule?

So I'm pretty regular with my Bm's and go consistently every day at 12:22. For the past few months someone has been been occupying the bathroom (office of about 20 people with 1 men's room) from like 12:00 to about 13:00 which is really annoying for me not to mention that it has caused several close calls.

My solution to this problem is has been to create a bathroom schedule that has open slots for all the times of the day that we work in ten minute increments for people to sign up for (I went ahead and inserted myself in the 12:20-12:30 slot) and emailed the schedule to everyone at work as well as posting it on the bathroom doors (women's room too [I'm only on the MEN'S schedule]).

Since I've done this no one has respected the schedule or even attempted to sign up for a reserved time slot despite me sending several emails kindly reminding them to.

I feel like I'm being discriminated against because I'm on the spectrum (no official diagnosis yet because I can find a psychologist who will see me after 18:30 on a weekend) and being able to use the bathroom when I need to is very important to me.

Anyways, the other day I caught the 12:00-13:00 bandit as he was coming out of the bathroom and went off on him. AITA?

quote:

I wake up at midnight and go to sleep at 6pm. She wakes up at noon and goes to sleep at 10pm.

Neito posted:

That's like... Intentionally missing each other by sleeping.

I don't share the inherent distaste for Poly relationships that GBS tends to display, but this doesn't even seem like a relationship; it's roommates who bang.

cumshitter posted:

Toilet timeshare guy owns, but I feel like the guy who apparently shits from 12-1 got overlooked.

LadyPictureShow posted:

AITA for not going to my daughters wedding because I am recovering from a severe sprained ankle.

Uncle Enzo posted:

If I was a guest at a wedding and someone said the father of the bride couldn't make it the last 100 yards from the parking lot to the ceremony, I'd offer to carry him piggyback. I'd be hero! Or get a couple dudes together and carry him in a chair. If this dude had put forth a loving ounce of effort to leave his house and try I 100% guarantee he'd have made it no problem.

poo poo he could have made a post on Facebook!

"Hi my name is Charles, my daughter is getting married on the beach in 4 hours, but I busted my ankle and can't walk over the rocks. I also can't drive so I need a ride. PLEASE HELP me get to my little girls wedding!"

Other ideas:

-get a ride to the nearest marina. hire a boat to take you direct to the ceremony and storm the beach like the loving Marines

-show up 2 hours early and crawl

-call up a helicopter school and beg them to take you here direct

-take an Uber to a local gym. Find the biggest dude there and tell him your sob story. Ask him to carry you.

-take a shitload of painkillers, grab your crutches, and hoof it

-hire a surrogate off Craigslist to carry around an iPad at head height with you on a video call

-ask a boy scout troop to do an emergency service project and rig up a temporary wheelchair ramp

-rent and ride a horse. have the owner lead it by the reins if necessary.

-borrow an atv from a friend

-contact a 4x4 club and see if one of them will take you in an off-road vehicle or hovercraft

-hire a dogsled to haul you there strapped flat to a board

-find some rockclimbers to rig you a zipline

-carried in a sedan chair by historical reenactors like a medieval Bishop

-ultralight aircraft

-parachute

-kayak/raft/canoe from closest boat ramp

-rich person with flying car

This man is a disgusting excuse for a father. He could have called upon basically any member of the human race to help him in his quest and he refused to get out of bed. loving disgusting. I hope she never speaks to him again.

SpaceViking posted:

Cat Heelies is the best r/r story.

NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:

Scat fetish surprise is just horrible until you get to the part about going to the zoo right after she finds his post. The idea of them silently seething at each other over unspeakable turd sex while their friends snap pictures of the penguins elevates it from gross out to high art.

chitoryu12 posted:

Nah, OP isn't the rear end in a top hat. Responding to a new coworker asking for your name with "I'm the Employee of the Month, look it up" is a weird antisocial power move that seems designed to piss people off and make them hate her for no good reason. Assuming it wasn't a very poorly-timed joke, it's good that he threw that back in her face.

Motronic posted:

But she didn't put it in a ponytail she did that thing girls do when they're going to put their hair in a ponytail but didn't.

Gone Fashing posted:

i cant find the original post in this thread but heres the bagcheese polywife story:

quote:

My girlfriend and I had planned to get married on Saturday. We wrapped up all our planning around Halloween, all that was left was to ring some time this week and make sure everything was running smoothly.

She called the venue and the person she spoke to asked her to confirm some changes she'd apparently made. My girlfriend had no clue what he was talking about, and he reminded her of all the changes that had been put in recently. We had not approved any of these changes. We were able to get some of it put back the way it was but there are some things that we couldn't change back at such short notice.

The venue forwarded us the emails asking for the changes so we could look over them. Our communication was being done via an email account we created solely for wedding stuff, and the email address which asked for the changes is the exact same address, except 2 letters are switched round. The venue is very apologetic for not calling us directly but can only fix so much of it at this stage.

We think we know what happened. The whole time we were planning the wedding we got pushback from both sets of parents, and the stuff they had the biggest issues with have all been changed. I'm willing to bet that all of this was related to at least one of our respective parents. We don't know anyone who would want to gently caress with us or the wedding this badly except our parents, who got pissy when we told them they couldn't financially contribute to the wedding because they were trying to trade their money for whatever wedding stuff they wanted.

Right now the stuff that we wanted that is still in this wedding is my suit, the venue and the DJ. My girlfriend has gone to pick up her dress and she's not heard from the shop so we're assuming that hasn't changed. I'm calling round everyone and it looks like the menu has been changed, as has the guest list and the cake. We paid for the wedding we'd planned and it looks like any additional costs from the changes (such as the extra people) were paid for by someone else, but they wouldn't give me any of the card info for legal reasons.

We probably won't be speaking to our parents again after this, unless one of them owns up in which case we'll just stop speaking to that one, but this feels like a joint effort as it's dealt with both sets of parent's complaints.

Before my girlfriend left to get the dress she gave me permission to post this as we are seriously considering eloping. We have the marriage certificate here, the honeymoon is unaltered and exactly what we wanted, and there's a few appointments we could make between now and Saturday at the town hall to get the certificate legally signed/filed.

However, we now have around 200 people attending this wedding in 3 days (our original guest list was about 100 including families and plus ones). People have booked hotels, planes, trains, and are coming from other countries to be here. None of these people have done anything to us and would be getting caught in the crossfire if we were to elope instead.

Would we be the arseholes?

Update: I posted in the group chat I have with all 4 parents that someone has been screwing with the wedding, we've found the email they used and we'd be tracking the IP address to a device and location (this was all absolute bullshit, we don't even know how to find an IP address). As soon as I said we'd be tracking the email they all started pointing fingers and accusing each other. It looks like all 4 of them were in on it together. Still not sure what we're doing about the wedding but all 4 parents are uninvited.


We're thinking that we might elope for the ceremony and then have the reception as planned (it's all the same party/venue and we won't get money back) because of the number of people who are coming from all over the place.

groom in the comments posted:

We're all white British, this isn't a custom or anything like that. Our initial plans weren't exactly traditional (for example, my girlfriend is wearing a coloured dress rather than white) which caused some friction early on, and then we had an argument over the money because they said they'd put up a lot of money for the wedding and then they said they would only do it if we gave them a vote each, so each of the 4 parents would have one vote, and me and my girlfriend would have a vote each, so we'd only have 2 of 6 votes regarding our wedding plans. Both sets of parents have histories of being absolutely batshit crazy, especially when it comes to how our actions reflect on them.

1st_Panzer_Div. posted:

What made that story so memorable? Out of the thousands of train wrecks here, I distinctly remember that one as well.

DrBouvenstein posted:

Found a video of the incident:

Gone Fashing posted:

idk if there's a text transcript somewhere but heres a reddit post with a big rear end image because it was originally a 4chan post
https://www.reddit.com/r/classic4chan/comments/4gtpvb/anon_and_his_sister_measure_their_weight/

Odd posted:

I know i skip a bunch but someone saw the Dog Heelies and thought "How can i make this even worse"???

NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:

The Ballad of Poly Cheesewife is a masterpiece just for the crystal clear mental image it gives you of both of them. They don't mention anything about either of their physical appearances yet I can see them in my mind's eye as clear as day.

Ignis posted:

Can't believe nobody posted this one yet

WIBTA for eloping when the wedding is this weekend?

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&pagenumber=2803&perpage=40#post483206449
Me [28M] with my fiance [26F] of 7 years. She's on a "solo" trip and I can't find any evidence she paid for a hotel or plane ticket. Now her crossfit "partner" is also gone but no one knows where. Any possibility they aren't together?

MrQwerty posted:

Inceltown posted:

It's not people being poly that is the problem it's the people who are poly.

quote:

In Illinois. I'm the maid of honor in a wedding in October. The bride and her mother do not get along. Her mother isn't even invited to the wedding after telling everyone she doesn't approve and some other awful things. After picking out and putting a deposit down on a wedding dress, the bridal store did not call the bride to inform her that her dress was available for pickup. Instead, her mother drove down there, finished paying for the dress (I'm not sure the total amount paid by each person but the dress was around $1,500) and is now holding the dress hostage, locked in a closet in her house.

Does the bride have any legal recourse? The shop essentially sold her dress to someone else. Is it theft by the mother since the bride paid the deposit even though her mother finished paying for it? My first thought is a charge back on the credit card for the deposit since she didn't receive what she paid for, but I'm not an expert here.

Neito posted:

That's like... Intentionally missing each other by sleeping.

I don't share the inherent distaste for Poly relationships that GBS tends to display, but this doesn't even seem like a relationship; it's roommates who bang.

Traxis posted:

Bride's mother paid off and pick up wedding dress without permission.

Traxis posted:

Bride's mother paid off and pick up wedding dress without permission.