/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Collapsing Farts: Jun 29, 2018; ð

If you cant tell your fyckin wife about her laugh and you think itll lrad to the marriage dying your marriage is garbage to begin with

You can broach any subject with your partner

# ? Dec 10, 2019 12:59

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# ? May 24, 2024 22:29

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Collapsing Farts posted:

If you cant tell your fyckin wife about her laugh and you think itll lrad to the marriage dying your marriage is garbage to begin with

You can broach any subject with your partner

Ok, and what good do you see coming from that conversation?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 13:08

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

MarcusSA posted:

People in the military get this thing called leave where like they can come home and stuff. It�s pretty wild.

Also you don�t get fuckin deployed for 4 years straight.

God drat this is dumb.

I think she probably has a change of station confused with deployment. Doesn't make it any less stupid, since...again. Leave. But she most likely just has the terms confused.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 14:02

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

Mill Town posted:

It's not always so clean cut though. Lots of states have religious protection laws that let healthcare workers refuse treatment because of their personal beliefs and just let patients die and these loving Godbothering twats love it. This isn't theoretical, they kill people for being trans or pregnant out of wedlock or what the gently caress ever.

Catching up on the thread but wanted to mention this.

Ohio has recently introduced a bill that would require a doctor to reimplant an ectopic pregnancy or face charges of abortion murder. The main issue being this is not a procedure that exists, it cannot be done. This is not the first time this suggestion has come up in Ohio legislature as well so I really do wonder what the root of this insanity is.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 14:42

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

MarcusSA posted:

People in the military get this thing called leave where like they can come home and stuff. It�s pretty wild.

Also you don�t get fuckin deployed for 4 years straight.

God drat this is dumb.

Pretty sure she�s just using her brother�s deployment as an excuse for something she already wanted - she�s in a hurry to get married and wow, isn�t it convenient that there�s a reason we gotta push it even faster than our already sped-up timeline!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 14:48

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Aramoro posted:

Catching up on the thread but wanted to mention this.

Ohio has recently introduced a bill that would require a doctor to reimplant an ectopic pregnancy or face charges of abortion murder. The main issue being this is not a procedure that exists, it cannot be done. This is not the first time this suggestion has come up in Ohio legislature as well so I really do wonder what the root of this insanity is.

Partially a complete refusal to learn anything that might disagree with them, partially a desire to control women and punish them for having sex.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 14:48

Best Bi Geek Squid: Mar 25, 2016

Vim Fuego posted:

WIBTA if I told my wife she has a weird laugh?

her laugh sounds like a seal barking in reverse.

trying to picture this horrifying hell noise

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:03

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

trying to picture this horrifying hell noise

It's almost certainly a Jimmy Carr kind of "laughing on the inhale and not the exhale" type thing. I knew a girl that laughed like that and it was really odd.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:08

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

I knew a guy that basically laughed like a hyena and it was so drat infectious.

It's involuntary, I don't know why you'd want to make someone feel self conscious about it, much less your so.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:13

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for kissing the homies goodnight?

This originated about two or three months ago, or whenever that �kissing your homies goodnight� meme was popular. My friends and I would always joke about it, and we thought it was funny, so whenever we would hang out, we started kissing each other goodbye. Just a short peck, nothing serious or anything. It became sort of a tradition at the end of every hang out, and we kept doing it even after the meme died because we still thought it was funny. Yesterday, I brought my girlfriend to hang out with us since she had never met these friends before. We all went to dinner, talked, and went back to one of my friend�s houses to watch TV. When it was time to leave, I kissed the homies, as is custom, and said goodbye. My girlfriend was not pleased. I had told her that we did it before, but she had assumed I wasn�t serious and was just referencing the meme. It escalated slightly, but I really don�t think it�s that bad. I equate it to kissing a family member, but she thinks it�s really weird. None of us are actually gay, and there is no attraction involved whatsoever. It might be a matter of personal opinion, but AITA?

edit: yes it was on the lips, and none of us are gay/bi

These guys have loving cracked it and their lives and brains are going to be awesome forever

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:19

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Aramoro posted:

Catching up on the thread but wanted to mention this.

Ohio has recently introduced a bill that would require a doctor to reimplant an ectopic pregnancy or face charges of abortion murder. The main issue being this is not a procedure that exists, it cannot be done. This is not the first time this suggestion has come up in Ohio legislature as well so I really do wonder what the root of this insanity is.

The root of this is well-funded and nationally active political organizations that have been doing end-runs around Roe v. Wade for decades through the use of sympathetic state legislatures, judiciaries, and executives. It's a coherent and effective political strategy to end abortion and is of the same family as state laws that limit abortions via onerous licensing requirements, showing pictures and graphic descriptions of abortions to potential seekers as a requirement under law, and the ongoing and focused campaign to discredit Planned Parenthood in the court of public opinion. These are battles being fought in a larger war that many people like to pretend are just lucky hits to their battleship by some podunk state senator from Butt gently caress, Egypt.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:20

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Wife is already aware of her weird laugh. No way someone goes through childhood without some kid pointing out every horrible flaw for all to see and mock. And yet she keeps on laughing.

Bike girl needs to keep screaming or else she's gonna end up as a red smear. Also she rocks.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 15:56

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

The Bramble posted:

The root of this is well-funded and nationally active political organizations that have been doing end-runs around Roe v. Wade for decades through the use of sympathetic state legislatures, judiciaries, and executives. It's a coherent and effective political strategy to end abortion and is of the same family as state laws that limit abortions via onerous licensing requirements, showing pictures and graphic descriptions of abortions to potential seekers as a requirement under law, and the ongoing and focused campaign to discredit Planned Parenthood in the court of public opinion. These are battles being fought in a larger war that many people like to pretend are just lucky hits to their battleship by some podunk state senator from Butt gently caress, Egypt.

I know that part, it's the specific thing about reimplanting entopic pregnancies that gets me. It is not and has never been a thing, but some fevered lunatic has thought it up and keeps trying to insert it into Ohio legislation.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:04

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Dazerbeams posted:

Wife is already aware of her weird laugh. No way someone goes through childhood without some kid pointing out every horrible flaw for all to see and mock. And yet she keeps on laughing.

Bike girl needs to keep screaming or else she's gonna end up as a red smear. Also she rocks.

Yeah like there might be a reason it's so hard to get Wife to laugh. Don't make it worse.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:07

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Aramoro posted:

I know that part, it's the specific thing about reimplanting entopic pregnancies that gets me. It is not and has never been a thing, but some fevered lunatic has thought it up and keeps trying to insert it into Ohio legislation.

Maybe because otherwise he (and it's almost certainly a he) feels like he's supporting abortion in a very specific case, despite an ectopic pregnancy being a complete non-starter. Like, as soon as a zygote implants in the wrong place, it's no longer a potential baby. I'm pro-choice, obviously, but I don't even consider removing an ectopic pregnancy an abortion, really. But, if you were an old conservative with no grasp of anatomy and deep, deep brainworms...

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:10

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I knew a guy that basically laughed like a hyena and it was so drat infectious.

It's involuntary, I don't know why you'd want to make someone feel self conscious about it, much less your so.

I know a couple people with laughs like that, and when I brought it up, it turned out that a) they�re well aware that their laughter sounds unusual and b) people enjoy being told they have an infectious laugh.

E:

PetraCore posted:

Yeah like there might be a reason it's so hard to get Wife to laugh. Don't make it worse.

Contrariwise, if he can communicate how much he genuinely enjoys the sound of her laughter, she may be more comfortable laughing around him in the future. Not sure mister �barking like a backwards seal� is up to that task, though.

Zulily Zoetrope fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Dec 10, 2019

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:12

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Probably explains why it is so hard to make her laugh. What an rear end in a top hat for thinking this needs to be brought up.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:12

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I know a couple people with laughs like that, and when I brought it up, it turned out that a) they�re well aware that their laughter sounds unusual and b) people enjoy being told they have an infectious laugh.

I don't feel like the guy was going to frame it that way.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:14

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Aramoro posted:

I know that part, it's the specific thing about reimplanting entopic pregnancies that gets me. It is not and has never been a thing, but some fevered lunatic has thought it up and keeps trying to insert it into Ohio legislation.

But that's my point, it's not a fevered lunatic, it's an extremely clever and intentional way to ban abortion without banning abortion! Dismissing the consultants who come up with this stuff that actually limits the willingness of doctors and hospitals to perform abortions as insane is as counterproductive and wrong headed as the British assuming a bunch of spear-wielding Zulus were no possible threat.

Anyway, content.

My friend gets upset when i say the "n" word, even jokingly or as part of a song lyric. Even though he didn't care before, because his new girlfriend is black...What should i do?

quote:

I don't mean my post to come off any type of way, but yeah. The worst part is, when she's not around he says it a decent amount himself and thats fine or when he's mad he himself is allowed to say it.

He's even said it with a hard R before. It's getting really annoying cause SHE can say it anytime because she's black and he can say it when she's not around, but whenever I PERSONALLY say it even in a completely INNOCENT way like " what's good my n" he'll straight up leave game lobbies or FREAK OUT. Are you joking? Everyday when black people hang out they say to each other "was good my n" or "that's my n right there". Idk, even though i'm white I listen to a lot of rap and have been around and even dated black people before so i haven't really had to second guess what i say.

Then his girlfriend and him went on some speech about how it's okay for her to say it, but not me, because the word was used to oppress a nationality of people. Like wtf? I HIGHLY DOUBT anyone from like the past 3 or 4 generations of her family was a drat slave so let's not act like she herself was one or would understand what her family went through.I'm jewish and you don't see me going on rants about poison chambers and how they shouldn't say the word "toxic" because toxins were used to oppress my people. Tf is this?

Most important tid-bit is the fact that i'm a grown rear end loving man and i don't need my supposed friend making me feel bad or checking me on words i say and i shouldn't have to hold my tongue like my dicks about to fall off if i slip up.

My question is- How should i confront him about this? Like i said, i don't like constantly feeling uncomfortable about my friend worrying i'm gunna slip up and him and his sensitive girlfriend are going to go off on me all the time. It's annoying. Especially because i've always said it before and he never had an issue, so it just makes him seem fake, and the fact that i don't mean it whatsoever in a derogatory way.

Tl;dr- I'm a grown man and my friend is checking me on a word i commonly say in a completely innocuous way and i should be allowed to defend myself and not be OK with him checking me on that.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:17

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Aww man I dropped this white dude and now I got little pieces of privilege everywhere, this is gonna be a pain to clean up.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:19

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Wow. Comparing the word toxic to the n-word. This guy is something else.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:21

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Lol holy poo poo.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:21

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

I listen to a lot of rap and have been around and even dated black people!

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:25

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

The Bramble posted:

My friend gets upset when i say the "n" word, even jokingly or as part of a song lyric. Even though he didn't care before, because his new girlfriend is black...What should i do?

man, I haven't seen racist fanfic like this since I stopped reading alt-history novels

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:25

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Unbelievably, I have found an even better one posted within an hour of the n-word guy. Holy poo poo.

How can I ensure that my wife is not defeated?

quote:

This narrative might sound a bit bizarre, but I am desperately in need of good advice. I have never been in such a situation before, nor have I ever heard of a similar one. I (35M) have been married to my wife (39F) for ten years now. We have a three year old daughter and earlier this month, we discovered that she is pregnant with our second child. However, the problem has no relation whatsoever with this pregnancy as it is still in its initial stages.

My mother (71F) is a skilled artist. She took up painting at the age of 53 and learnt it so quickly that her paintings began to receive critical acclaim within about five years or so. She mostly paints still-life paintings and landscapes. However, she has recently developed an inclination towards depictions of the human figure and since my wife is exceptionally good-looking, she occasionally poses as a model for my mother.My mother has often requested her DIL (whom she calls "my sweet beauty") to pose naked but my wife, who was brought up by conservative parents, was averse to the idea. So far so good.

My wife and my mother also have another shared interest - chess. They discovered each other's interest in chess earlier this month, just before the pregnancy. Since then, my wife has often expressed a desire to pit her skills against her mother-in law. My mother jokingly warned my wife that she would lose at least ten times in a row and eventually lose her interest in the game. My wife responded with a laugh and bet my mother that she would pose naked for one of mother's nude paintings if my mother could beat her ten times in a row.As expected, the bet that was proposed by my wife was sufficient to convince my mother to take up the challenge.

They have played each night for the past nine days, and my wife has lost to my mother each time. Last night, my wife remarked that she would have to brace herself for this unique experience of posing naked. I reminded her of the option of refusing to play tonight, but she turned it down. She seems to have accepted defeat as a foregone conclusion. What can I do to boost her spirits so that she does not lose and go through what might be a humiliating experience for her?

TL;DR: My wife bet my mother that she would pose naked for my mother' painting if she could beat her at chess ten times in a row. She has already lost nine games. How can I help her avoid the embarrassment of losing ten times in a row and posing naked for a painting?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:28

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Mom is gonna gently caress that DIL.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:32

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

The Bramble posted:

Unbelievably, I have found an even better one posted within an hour of the n-word guy. Holy poo poo.

How can I ensure that my wife is not defeated?

He needs to go full sitcom and come up with an elaborate plot to distract his mother at every move of the game, inevitably ending in an entire piano being dropped on the chessboard right as she attempts to make checkmate and the wife's clothes being comically ripped off in front of everyone.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:33

i vomit kittens: Apr 25, 2019

I (24M) got rejected by love of my whole life (26F) i want to commit suicide

quote:

i was inlove with this girl for 10 years from highscool, In university i applied to same subject as her, just to be with her (microbiology), i was constantly thinking i was not good enough for her, but i finally get courage told her all my feelings...

of course she, with most respectful way rejected me... i knew it from the very beginning as i started talking, she was looking like OMG, i dont want this, i dont want him...

after 2 week after what happened i heard from her friend that she was attracted to tall and handsome guys... my hearth just broke...

what can i do? i can put muscles in my body with all the pain of pushing weight, but how can i become tall? how can i become handsome? im considering plastic surgery in the future, but i dont have any future now..

I constantly feel not good enough, not for her, not for anyone, her rejection totally broke me, i dont want to go outside, if i die at least she will feel little bit pain, knowing that she will forgot it after some times, it is human nature anyway....

Pls don't teach me about confidence and all that bullshit... if you are unattractive, it doesnot matter at all. From the very beginning of school i was outcast. All the beautiful girls were chasing attractive guys, they were in groups.

Tl;dr: i can't eat, not going outside, ignoring all my phone calls, watching stupid serials all the time, thinking of easy ways to die, im coward? yes, i can't just die, i want easy death, maybe sleep pills

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:33

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

i vomit kittens posted:

I (24M) got rejected by love of my whole life (26F) i want to commit suicide

"I want to kill myself because I'm not a Chad. Please don't give me any advice on improving my life other than becoming a hot Chad."

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:35

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I have a radical, surgery based approach. Its called trepanning, and I believe with only one treatment I can solve your problems forever

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:36

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Barudak posted:

I have a radical, surgery based approach. Its called trepanning, and I believe with only one treatment I can solve your problems forever

Lobotomy through the nose would be less invasive and also a more foolproof solution. Cognition is a curse.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:38

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

i vomit kittens posted:

I (24M) got rejected by love of my whole life (26F) i want to commit suicide

That's no problem at all

just tile over the broken parts.

Good as new.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:38

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

i vomit kittens posted:

I (24M) got rejected by love of my whole life (26F) i want to commit suicide

He commented this on someone else's about wanting to kill themselves post two days ago:

quote:

and where are you going? what you think? my older brother commited suicide, not caring what kind of pain and suffering he left behind for US. I'm angry at you! but i want to be compassionate... where are you going? you think out there, somewhere is heaven? you will just recycle everything over again. But in this life there are still HOPE , no matter what your struggles are

Dude did a 180 on the whole suicide thing pretty quick.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:41

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Ugly In The Morning posted:

He commented this on someone else's about wanting to kill themselves post two days ago:

Dude did a 180 on the whole suicide thing pretty quick.

He hatched from his cocoon a beautiful Chad

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:43

Hobo Clown: Oct 16, 2012; Here it is, Baby.
Your killer track.

AITA for refusing to wash cause my parents keep asking me to do it?

quote:

So obviously I�m a teen 15-16 and this is throwaway account cause I don�t want a friend of mine to see this. English is also not my first language so I�m sorry for the mistakes.

A bit of background: I used to have a problem where I couldn�t feel when I needed to go to the bathroom. So imagine still being 12 and peeing in your pants and my parents never wanted to take me to doctor that�s specialized (idk what it�s called). I�ve also never really learned to regularly shower, cause my parents never �forced� me too.

Now, my parents have been contacted before by my previous school and now they�re constantly bugging me about. (Btw. my current school has not contacted my parents, because I�ve not smelled bad) I get that smelling bad isn�t really a good thing. But they say: �You know that if you smell bad, people will think we�re abusing you�. It feels like if nobody would mention it too them they would give a poo poo about it. I ,ofc, shower and the basic hygiene stuff, but every time they mention it too me I don�t shower. Enough so they will smell, but not enough so deodorant can�t shield the smell. It�s gotten to the point that they expect me to wash every day. I find that stupid, cause they complain when I �waste� clothes. But I�m not allowed to wear the same clothes twice after washing.

My parents tell me that I�m insensitive and that I�m just being rebellious cause I�m a teen (they might be right, but still). I should also do it so they don�t get in trouble. I�ve always been insecure about BO, but this just hurts more. I know this is kind of petty, but it feels right too me.

So AITA for not wanting to shower?

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:47

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Ugly In The Morning posted:

He commented this on someone else's about wanting to kill themselves post two days ago:

Dude did a 180 on the whole suicide thing pretty quick.

that's different, his brother was a chad and had no right to take the beta's way out

Not even being 100% ironic, having an older sibling die young is fertile ground for inferiority complexes.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:49

Blorange: Jan 31, 2007; A wizard did it

Ugly In The Morning posted:

He commented this on someone else's about wanting to kill themselves post two days ago:

Dude did a 180 on the whole suicide thing pretty quick.

Dude is obviously typing that to himself.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:51

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

i vomit kittens posted:

I (24M) got rejected by love of my whole life (26F) i want to commit suicide
quote:
i was inlove with this girl for 10 years from highscool, In university i applied to same subject as her, just to be with her (microbiology), i was constantly thinking i was not good enough for her, but i finally get courage told her all my feelings...

of course she, with most respectful way rejected me... i knew it from the very beginning as i started talking, she was looking like OMG, i dont want this, i dont want him...

after 2 week after what happened i heard from her friend that she was attracted to tall and handsome guys... my hearth just broke...

what can i do? i can put muscles in my body with all the pain of pushing weight, but how can i become tall? how can i become handsome? im considering plastic surgery in the future, but i dont have any future now..

I constantly feel not good enough, not for her, not for anyone, her rejection totally broke me, i dont want to go outside, if i die at least she will feel little bit pain, knowing that she will forgot it after some times, it is human nature anyway....

Pls don't teach me about confidence and all that bullshit... if you are unattractive, it doesnot matter at all. From the very beginning of school i was outcast. All the beautiful girls were chasing attractive guys, they were in groups.

Tl;dr: i can't eat, not going outside, ignoring all my phone calls, watching stupid serials all the time, thinking of easy ways to die, im coward? yes, i can't just die, i want easy death, maybe sleep pills

Elliott Rodger has risen from the grave.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:55

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Husband (31M) is turning into a slob and I (29F) don't know what to do...

quote:

I'm sorry this is long but please read.. I would really appreciate the help...

My husband and I have been together for 8+ years and got married this summer. In general I would say we have an awesome relationship and he is a fantastic partner. We laugh and have fun together, he is super supportive of me and does nice things for me all the time. Caring, kind, loyal, fun... I love him dearly and this is truly the only sore spot in our relationship.

Our issue revolves around communication/criticism and grooming. Basically, if he thinks he is being told to do something or criticized in any way, he digs his heels in further, even if he might actually agree with me or if the complaint is legitimate. If he feels that I am telling him what to do like how his mom would tell him what to do, he "rebels" against that and just does the opposite of what I would like him to do. This makes it almost impossible for me to raise complaints or concerns because if I voice my opinion he will dig his heels in deeper, insisting that he is fine and my concerns are invalid and I am just being controlling.

I care about etiquette and appearance a lot. I don't expect everyone to care as much as I do. I genuinely love skin care, makeup, clothes. I love to look good for him, do my hair up the way he likes, etc.

Some of our biggest (and only) fights have happened around weddings. The first wedding we went to I had asked him if he had a nice suit and was it pressed, etc. He took that as me saying he is not responsible and can't handle himself and that I was acting like his mom, treating him like a child and telling him what to do. (He only told me this after the wedding when we had the fight) So... he would deliberately NOT try on the suit before hand, not iron it, and basically look like a slob. Showing up in a suit three sizes too big and not ironed. The first time he did this at his sister's wedding his family was so pissed and I was mortified. It's happened a few other times since then which I find unbelievable. Every time there is a wedding things are tense between us and I am not allowed to say anything otherwise it's like he will punish me by doing the same thing again.

He told me that if I would leave him alone he would take care of himself because he's a grown man, etc. So I do... sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Clothes is one thing, but now I am reaching a breaking point because this attitude has crept into his hygiene. Over the past year he has started showering much less, and only brushes his teeth once a day, if that. It's affected how I feel about him, I am often uncomfortable during sex and it's a big turn off. He doesn't groom himself as much, let's his beard and hair get as long as he wants, even though he knows I really don't like it.. When he does trim it he insists on cutting it all himself. If I suggest that someone else should cut it because IT'S ALWAYS UNEVEN he digs his heels in further and from now on will only ever do it himself whereas before he had a barber. He used to care about looking good!!! He used to take pride in his appearance! I don't know what happened.

I feel I am constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to wound his pride or seem "controlling". He just cannot tolerate any comment whatsoever about his grooming or appearance, he always sees it as an effort to control him and goes right back to being a little boy being told what to do by his mom. I'm worried that I am being controlling.. I don't know how to stop.

I'm in a really tough spot because if I dare to even mention it, I know he will only dig his heels in further and it'll be lost. It's infuriating and so.. so.. hurtful. I feel so disrespected. It's always the same thing... His fear of me controlling him.. Which means that I rarely bring anything up and always hope that he will take care of himself.. but things have gotten worse. I feel so stuck.

This morning was a breaking point. As we were getting ready he went to kiss me and I said "wait I didn't brush my teeth yet" and he said "me neither" as he was LEAVING THE BATHROOM and proceeds to go downstairs to head to work. So I say "hey you forgot to brush your teeth!" and he's like "I don't brush them in the morning" which made my heart absolutely sink. I asked him "please can you brush your teeth" trying to be as non-confrontational as possible and he said "no." And once again we entered the dynamic where I'm the mean mommy telling his son what to do and I want to loving cry and scream and leave.

I've painted such an awful picture of him but the reason this is all so strange is that he isn't like this is any other area of life!! He cooks, he cleans, he is neat and tidy, he takes amazing care of our dog, maintains the house... He is an ideal man and super responsible and on top of things except when it comes to this. Our communication is mostly ok outside of this issue. I don't get it. I'm worried he may be depressed. He used to put effort into his appearance and seemed to enjoy looking good for me. I want that man back.

Is it controlling to want your spouse to maintain a certain level of hygiene and appearance? Should I just leave it and accept that this is who he is? Where is the line between being respectful to your partner, taking care of yourself and having too high standards? Maybe I am controlling or demanding.. I honestly don't know anymore.

MOST IMPORTANTLY - How can I bring this up to him in a way that won't make him shut down and shut me out, making the mommy/son dynamic even worse. I hate this dynamic so so so much.

TLDR: Husband has been lowering the standards of hygiene, grooming and appearance over time. When I bring it up he feels I am trying to control him and just digs his heels in deeper. I am stuck and don't know how to move forward in a productive way.

I think she swapped the numbers on her husband's age.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:57

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# ? May 24, 2024 22:29

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

The Bramble posted:

But that's my point, it's not a fevered lunatic, it's an extremely clever and intentional way to ban abortion without banning abortion! Dismissing the consultants who come up with this stuff that actually limits the willingness of doctors and hospitals to perform abortions as insane is as counterproductive and wrong headed as the British assuming a bunch of spear-wielding Zulus were no possible threat.

Anyway, content.

My friend gets upset when i say the "n" word, even jokingly or as part of a song lyric. Even though he didn't care before, because his new girlfriend is black...What should i do?

OP is trash and so is his friend.

# ? Dec 10, 2019 16:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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