Xombie posted:

You don't seem to equate telling dying people that you don't care if they live or die with being cruel to them. May I ask why you think that's normal?

Or is this another case of you simply not reading the story?

Tythas posted:

Once again proving that threesomes and and open relationships / poly ruin relationships

Tythas posted:

My Girlfriend [24/F] signed me up into having group sex with our close friends [25M/25F.] I [26/M] wasn't told before-hand, and I broke up with her as a result. Did I mess up?



Once again proving that threesomes and and open relationships / poly ruin relationships

Neito posted:

quote:

My (20) girlfriend (21) has a very severe phobia of cold things. We live in England, so this is an issue for like, half of the year. She refuses to touch anything that might be cold, including the floor with her feet in winter, door handles, walls, cold water, absolutely anything. She has to run a full bath of very hot water before she has a shower to 'make sure the floor isn't cold'. She also will not eat cold food or drink cold drinks at any time of year. This means that she drinks almost entirely tea and coffee (with the occasional hot juice), meaning she's always anxious because of the sheer volume of caffiene she takes in.

It's winter in the UK right now, so her phobia is in full swing. It's getting ridiculous to see her refusing to do literally anything because she might have to touch something cold. On Thursday, she left her slipper boots on the other side of the bedroom (she had socks on, but took them off when she got in bed) so she called in sick to work and stayed in bed all day. When I got back from work, (I work 8-4, she woke up at about 11, so she waited about 5 and a half hours) she was desperate for the toilet, really hungry, and distressed. Why didn't she call someone to help her? Her phone was on the window ledge so it would be cold. I told her that her this situation is "ridiculous", and she needs to "get some therapy" because she can't live like this, and it's really impractical for her to literally not go to work because of this. It's super annoying and I don't know how she intends to get through life like this.

She was extremely upset and told me that I'm an rear end in a top hat for not taking her seriously, she said she realises this is ridiculous but she can't help it. I told her she could help it if she tried to get some help.

Just to add, she is okay going outside in the cold air, but as usual won't touch anything cold.

chitoryu12 posted:

Just because you're all depressed fucks who embrace death doesn't mean the literal teenage girl isn't scared shitless about it and nobody should have sympathy for her. Does nobody in this thread have any goddamn empathy for people? Are you all just that hosed up by high school that you still want retroactive revenge on the kids who wedgied you?

Neito posted:

Also, it was never said "I don't care that you're dying". He said "I don't accept your apology, nor do I offer you my sympathies". I draw a distinction between those, but i concede that someone else could view that as a distinction without difference.

quote:

So 11 years ago on my son's 9th birthday, we got him a puppy (Toby). He had begged and pleaded and made all kinds of promises for years, and we finally caved in. It his birthday gift, but we made it very clear that although the puppy was his birthday gift, the dog was our family dog, not specifically his dog. My wife has always been of the belief that pets are family members and not possessions, and she made sure our son knew this from the get go.

Although my son has always loved this dog with all his heart, after the first 5 years my son got busy with high school and work and since then it has always been my wife and I, and occasionally our other daughter who have taken care of this dog. I personally have fed, trained and walked this dog almost every single day for 6 years. We've all grown incredibly attached to him.

Our son moved out a year ago on his 19th birthday to go to college, and had to spend the first year on campus. He has since saved up and moved into his own apartment. He now wants to take Toby with him, arguing that Toby has always been his, as he was his birthday present and slept in his room until a year ago. His new apartment is spacious and he is financially secure with decent savings as he has a well paying part time job .

However, him being able to afford the dog isn't my concern. My wife, daughter and I feel that Toby is part of our family. We've all treated him as our own, and have looked after him as our own. I've covered food, thousands in vet bills, training and housing costs till now, even after my son got a part time job in high school and could afford to. Other than spending 6 years being the main person who looks after Toby, in the year since my son left for college, Toby has spent almost every single second we've been home by either my wife's side or mine. I feel like sending Toby away would be like sending away a family member. Toby is also getting old, he has been rushed to the vet multiple times in the last year and my son lives across state lines. Toby already suffers from separation anxiety and this would be a big change for him that I don't want him to be going through. He'd not just be going to a new environment, he'd be going from a house where there's always someone home to a house where my son would be away 9-5. At best, my son would hire a sitter for those hours.

So I put my foot down and said no way.

My son cried and was absolutely furious with me, he has threatened to cut us all off and has also threatened to steal Toby away secretly and said we were depriving him of time with his childhood dog in his last years. This is such a mess. AITA Reddit?

edit: I should probably mention..I'm not depriving my son of the dog. Before this drama, he was visiting us one or two times every month, and he's welcome to visit as often as he can. This is his home too.

edit 2: Just adding some requested info: We would not have gotten Toby at that point in time if not for how badly my son wanted a a dog. Although my wife and I love dogs, we ideally wanted to wait a few years as we were struggling really badly financially. Our son's birthday came around, and he cried and begged and pleaded almost every single day. So we gave him a choice, either he could have a normal present, or we could get a family dog. My wife and I scraped together every last cent we had to be able to afford the shelter fees, vaccinations, food, pet insurance, bowls, leash etc. I suppose it wasn't a present so much as it was a dog in lieu of a present. We're in a much, much better place now, but we honestly couldn't have afforded another present on his birthday after that. Any extra dollars we had went straight into an emergency fund for emergency vet bills that were bound to crop up (and did). I guess we could have skimped on some dog expenses in order to buy our son a gameboy or something, but like I said, a dog is a family member to us. If we were going to get a dog, we had to make sure it was taken care of.

therobit posted:

My wife does all the yardwork and I do all the cooking. My 5yo son said the other week that when he grows up he wants to do the big chores like cooking but ALSO the girl chores like mowing the lawn.

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for breaking up with a guy because he had a ninja sword in his apartment?

Serephina posted:

Will you all shut up about the bloody bully story? It's been beaten to death and back already.

Especially you, ya great berk. Go read a post.

Here, go how about we all read this one?
AITA for telling my girlfriend that her phobia is ridiculous and she needs treatment?

Neito posted:

The reaction he gave is understandable, in the context that this young woman was this young man's bully for three years, to the point that the kid needed therapy, especially when it's considered that the bullying only stopped because the victim stopped being an easy target.

Also, it was never said "I don't care that you're dying". He said "I don't accept your apology, nor do I offer you my sympathies". I draw a distinction between those, but i concede that someone else could view that as a distinction without difference.

Is the kid an rear end in a top hat for not giving their sympathies to a dying person who made their life hell? Maybe. I don't personally think so (though my personal history with abuse is likely clouding my view here). She put him on the spot, and got an off the cuff response. But that very quickly was not the topic of the debate, which turned almost immediately into forgiveness policing.

quote:

I feel.nothing for her. No hatred, but no sympathy either. When she dies, it will be just another day for me.

quote:

Recently, I told her that I might be interested in non-monogamy,

quote:

My Girlfriend [24/F] signed me up into having group sex with our close friends [25M/25F.] I [26/M] wasn't told before-hand, and I broke up with her as a result. Did I mess up?

Serephina posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend that her phobia is ridiculous and she needs treatment?
(with the occasional hot juice)

tactlessbastard posted:

Hoisted on your own petard lol

Tythas posted:

Eh not quite, he said he might be not that he was. I would be more interested to know how they got on the topic of non monogamy

Leon Einstein posted:

You don't bring that up and say it if you don't mean it.

tactlessbastard posted:

Hoisted on your own petard lol

quote:

I was deployed for a second time for 18 months as part of a direct action and counter insurgency operations group. Before my second deployment, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years and we worked on the basics of our wedding plan, with her taking over the majority of the planning while I was deployed.

Prior to my second deployment, I was administered "Stellate ganglion block" or SGB treatment for PTSD which greatly alleviated my symptoms so I continue to operate within my required parameters. I returned 3 months ago and my fiancee was picking me up with our dogs. I didn't recognize any of them except for the sign she was holding with my name. I thought she had sent a friend to pick me up and drive me to our apartment.

My fiancee was shocked, considering she jumped on me to give me a hug and I was thoroughly confused as to who she was. I'm having trouble putting her face to her name and her personality. It feels like I'm engaged to my fiancee but she does not look like my fiancee. All my pictures of her are the same, and I don't recognize them in hers anymore either.

I've been to several therapists and psychiatrists without any help. None of them has solved these issues.

How do I re-establish my fiancee to the person that I physically see? Everything else is the same, personality, mannerisms, how we act together but every time I look at her I have to remind myself that this is the woman I proposed to. This is straining my relationship with the love of my life beyond belief. Please help. No professionals have been able to help us. I don't know who else to reach to.

quote:

Hi everyone, this is u/throwraptsdfiance's fiancee, I'm writing this update post on his behalf.

It's been a tough, busy week for us. We've got referred to a neurologist very quickly after my fiance being very adamant about his condition being a neurological issue due to r/relationshipadvice and r/askdocs suggestions. He had a brain scan done last Saturday and the MRI didn't show any abnormalities. The neurologist and her team has worked with closely with another psychiatrist which we were pretty hesitant on seeing because of our past experiences over the last 3 months but we were assured they were very good and worked primarily outside of enlisted men's issues!

So, we took a chance and explained our story. My fiance and the psych did some more talking privately. So our current diagnosis isn't just PTSD, they are thinking it is severe PTSD induced dissociative identity disorder.

So that's the update. We're working hard on our relationship but this is still very raw and new to both of us. Thank you to so many of the kind messages to my fiance, those were really helpful and I think he needed to know that some people cared.

That's all, thanks again for all the positive messages. We'll be sure to update some time when we have more figured out.

quote:

We were at lunch and she jokingly called me a nigg--, I told her not to do that as I wasn't comfortable with it. She then asked me WHY I DIDN'T WANT HER TO CALL ME A RACIAL SLUR as if she needed to get an "actual reason" before she would accept it. She said that she would stop saying it but she just wanted to know why. I told her that I just don't like it and that there wasn't much to it. She said that she NEEDED "ACTUAL" REASONS. First of all she should've shut the absolute gently caress up and just apologized, but she kept trying to get me to give her a reason that would satisfy her. I told her that with my best friend I am comfortable with it and that I don't care if he says it, but that I never told her that it was ok for her so she crossed a line. She said I was contradicting myself about it and honestly I don't care about my reason. I don't need a scientific explanation to explain the WAY I FEEL. I found this reaction incredibly disrespectful and insulting. She told me that she has talked to her white friends and they say its ok to ask why ask if YOU SHOULDN'T ALREADY KNOW NOT TO CALL YOU'RE BOYFRIEND A RACIAL SLUR, especially if he doesn't say it's ok. I would really like some conformation on this and general feedback. He brother has called me the n word with an -a without me saying it's ok and she has dated a Neo-nazi, so idk if she's just a straight up racist.

Leon Einstein posted:

You don't bring that up and say it if you don't mean it.

I can just imagine trying to defend myself after telling my wife I "might be" into loving other people.

Tythas posted:

okay before you complain about this story the update makes things look up

Help. I don't recognize my (31m) fiancee (29f) after deployment


UPDATE. Help. I don't recognize my (31m) fiancee (29f) after deployment

Guildenstern Mother posted:

In the context of talking about sexual things you might be into saying that you might enjoy a threesome isn't particularly out there. Especially if you're not the sort of person who reads threesome disaster stories for fun like we do.

Guildenstern Mother posted:

In the context of talking about sexual things you might be into saying that you might enjoy a threesome isn't particularly out there. Especially if you're not the sort of person who reads threesome disaster stories for fun like we do.

Tythas posted:

okay before you complain about this story the update makes things look up

Help. I don't recognize my (31m) fiancee (29f) after deployment


UPDATE. Help. I don't recognize my (31m) fiancee (29f) after deployment

Trapick posted:

Hey sorry, what on earth is "hot juice"? Like warm apple cider, or is someone microwaving orange juice like an alien?

chitoryu12 posted:

Just because you're all depressed fucks who embrace death doesn't mean the literal teenage girl isn't scared shitless about it and nobody should have sympathy for her. Does nobody in this thread have any goddamn empathy for people? Are you all just that hosed up by high school that you still want retroactive revenge on the kids who wedgied you?

Patrick Spens posted:

I mean, whatever he said, he pretty obviously didn't mean, "I want to have sex with two people you picked out with no discussion or advance notice."

quote:

My girlfriend (for lack of better word) and I got together a year ago. The first time we had sex, she gave me a "warning" in a way. She basically said not to bother making her cum, no guy has ever been able to do it. So she has a variety of toys to get the job done. She loves the feeling still and wants me to enjoy myself regardless. I took it as a challenge and true to her word, no matter what I did, her didlo / "womanizer" does the job every time. I mean I threw everything but the kitchen sink. In fact, we've done it laying next to the kitchen sink.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, we were lying down watching a movie. There was a rape scene and we were both on "the devils lettuce" and she mumbled something to the tune of "i know its messed up but this is turning me on". So we finally went to bed and did our thing. I brought up the girl being raped and did a play by play of what the movie showed and next thing you know BOOM, she has a loud full orgasm. She's twitching and spasm'ing and she grabs my face and tells me "I didn't think I could cum like that"... She took care of me and we fell asleep.

For a good 10 or so days, rape has been my "go to" dirty talk to her and I have made her cum twice, sometimes 3 times in one sesh. The worse it gets, the harder and louder she cums.

Tonight, I was having sex with her and I pinned her down and started talking about a biker gang having her as a sex slave etc etc etc, fill in the blanks. She is asleep like a baby.

Its only been 2 weeks but I have learned the more and more I escalate the torture/rape/beating of a fantasy person (or herself) the harder she cums.

Tonight as she was falling asleep, she said "maybe if you gave me some bruises, it would make it more real haha"...

Because of that last statement she made, im here asking for some advice.

Should I ask her to get some help? or is something wrong? Am I just being a prude?

Tythas posted:

okay before you complain about this story the update makes things look up

Help. I don't recognize my (31m) fiancee (29f) after deployment


UPDATE. Help. I don't recognize my (31m) fiancee (29f) after deployment

Tythas posted:

My[37M] GF[45F] has a hard time having an orgasm... Until I figured out her trigger is rape and worse things...


A flag so large and red you can see it from the kuiper belt and makes jupiter's red spot jealous

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Most psychiatrists don't see DID as an actual diagnosis (most diagnoses are clustered around a few clinicians, and it's considered possibly a "clinician induced disorder"), and even under the framework of "DID is a real thing", he wouldn't be seeing himself as the same person or really relating and understanding the memories he had with his fiance from before the PTSD, so I'm guessing either this is bullshit or they saw a quack.

It would make sense with CTE, which is pretty common around people with PTSD who've been around a lot of explosives going off, but... I dunno, this one doesn't make sense.

Neito posted:

Sorry, but "Just mean" people don't immediately reach for the motherfucking N word as an insult. Also, she, but it's pretty clear even without that that you didn't read a word of the story.

Tythas posted:

My[37M] GF[45F] has a hard time having an orgasm... Until I figured out her trigger is rape and worse things...


A flag so large and red you can see it from the kuiper belt and makes jupiter's red spot jealous

PetraCore posted:

DID as in multiple personalities, no. There are dissociative disorders, though, so I think that's what they mean. He's dissociating.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

That usually involves the feeling of "watching yourself like it's a movie", though. He doesn't sound like he's in the passenger seat, it sounds like he's driving. I don't know, it just feels weird. I've never heard of DD involving prosopagnosia...

unless...

Did he register for the something awful forums and start posting in picture threads while he was away?

Tythas posted:

AITA for refusing to let our son take our dog with him when moving out of home?