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BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Solice Kirsk posted:

Sea lions are cool animals. A lot of people confuse sea lions with seals, but sea lions are the superior aqua-pup.

I don't know what that woman had against Sea Lions. They don't hurt anybody that isnt a fish.

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tight aspirations
Jul 13, 2009

Solice Kirsk posted:

Sea lions are cool animals. A lot of people confuse sea lions with seals, but sea lions are the superior aqua-pup.

They are clearly liqui-cattes, as their name suggests.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Chickencheese was great, not just because it seemed to bring everyone together but because there were so many good recipes

Any GWS thread can be magical. Let us not forget THE BEST CHILI YOU WILL EVER HAVE
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3406045

worst chili posted:


To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.

I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.

Ingredients:

1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover jews)
2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender)
2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man)
4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul)
1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist)
1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now)
6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce
1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream)
2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an rear end in a top hat)
2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste)
1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint)
1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)

Instructions:

Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat
Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes
Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two
Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper
Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10
Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore

And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.

Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.

KFC Double Down posted:

This is back to basics chili. This is “I’m flat loving broke” chili. This is “I have one hour to feed myself before my shift surfing for CP at the local library starts” chili. This is camping chili. This is hunting chili. This is house full of screaming little shits chili. This is the comfort chili you make your best friend right after he walks in on you speed-bagging his sister. This is quick, easy, tasty, man chili. This isn’t the chili you have Gordon Ramsey weep into because you didn’t use all fresh ingredients. And this is not the chili you waste a perfectly good steak making.

NO YOU ALL SUCK posted:

Thank you to the prissy, butthurt, calorie-counting, supr srrious defenders of the internet laws of food. This wouldn't have been any fun at all without you and you frilly pink dresses. The next time I come across one of you weeping because no one likes your food even though you make your own lipstick from scratch, I'll pause for a moment before ripping your ovaries out through your rotten vag and forcing you to eat the omelette I make from your eggs. When you walk in me rage banging your wife/sister/girlfriend/mom I'm sure she'll be very interested in your dissertation on why the best sex she's ever had doesn't really count because I avoid her crotch rot with store-bought rubbers instead of waiting for a sheep to die of natural causes and then getting the express written permission of no fewer than 10 Tibetan monks before using its skin to make prophylactics.

This whole thing was as awesome as an octopus at a circle jerk and the perfect way to spend the 2 days before an extended long weekend.

One day, I'll get tired of staring down volcanoes and I'll come back to post a recipe full of organic, free-range tampons for you to enjoy.

UCS Hellmaker has a new favorite as of 17:21 on Dec 28, 2019

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN
I'm so glad people stopped writing fuckawesome megafartingly like that

watho
Aug 2, 2013


The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

quote:


I really like this recipe. I had to make a couple of substitutions, because I couldn't find certain ingredients, but I'm really happy with how it turned out.

I changed the pork to beef, simply because I prefer beef. I obviously kept the tomatoes, but I had to replace the onion soup mix with cheese sauce, because I'm reverse lactose intolerant (if there's not sufficient lactose in my food, I get sick). I know a few purists will be cross with me for this, but I had to leave out the mushrooms (I'm allergic to them). Instead, I used large flat sheets of pasta. I thought it'd be nice to give it a bit of an avant garde twist, so I made my chili in layers. One layer of meaty sauce, followed by the mushrooms (flat pasta), topped with onion soup (cheese sauce). After a couple of layers like this, I topped the whole thing of with beans. Except, because I couldn't get beans, I used grated parmesan.

It was delicious. A++++ would cook again.

Taeke
Feb 2, 2010


"Anything to get the taste out of their mouths, I guess." after the guy bragging his bad chilli was so good people would line up to felate him after eating it will always be one of the cleanest, sickest burns I've read on these forums and makes me giggle every time I think about it.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

I love everything about this and this is goon.txt in pure onion form. Maybe he was at the ER shoving the onion up his rear end last month

watho
Aug 2, 2013


The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

why were the extremely Epic Bacon recipes almost always chili?

Heath
Apr 30, 2008

🍂🎃🏞️💦

razorrozar posted:

i would like to apologize to heath. im on a bit of a hair trigger, and it can be hard to distinguish between someone genuinely asking questions and someone acting in bad faith. having slept on it it's clear i was overreacting and heath wasn't sealioning or doing anything else wrong.

Don't sweat it, we are all on that hair trigger. I couldn't sleep and thought about it some more, and it's something that's been on my mind about this place since way before any of this most recent drama. I appreciate it.

I originally wrote something here that's the last thing I'm going to say about it, not because I don't think it's worth discussing, but because I don't want to participate keeping the thread going in this direction. In fact I'm just going to put the whole thing in a pastebin so if you really give a poo poo about my musing you can PM me or whatever.

https://pastebin.com/338biEpT

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

Spanish Manlove posted:

I'm so glad people stopped writing fuckawesome megafartingly like that

the time period where everyone was maddox or wanted to be maddox


lol maddox

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

watho posted:

why were the extremely Epic Bacon recipes almost always chili?

because the recipes needed to be Manly and the only thing Manly Men are allowed to cook that isn’t on a grill is chili

Heath
Apr 30, 2008

🍂🎃🏞️💦

UCS Hellmaker posted:

Chickencheese was great, not just because it seemed to bring everyone together but because there were so many good recipes

Any GWS thread can be magical. Let us not forget THE BEST CHILI YOU WILL EVER HAVE
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3406045

This... Whatever you'd call it, era? Of le epic online posting was the pits

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Chili is one of those things that you have to go out of your way to gently caress it up. Actually most stews are nearly impossible to gently caress up unless you start tossing random stupid poo poo in there or try to make it too fancy.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

Solice Kirsk posted:

Sea lions are cool animals. A lot of people confuse sea lions with seals, but sea lions are the superior aqua-pup.

Not to mention a sea lion wouldn't need to debate anyone. It could easily destroy two unarmed humans in a fight.

bloom
Feb 25, 2017

by sebmojo
How many unarmed humans would it take to defeat a sea lion in combat?

Geocities Homepage King
Nov 26, 2007

I have good news, and I have bad news.
Which do you want to hear first...?

bloom posted:

How many unarmed humans would it take to defeat a sea lion in combat?

Do they turn faster than horses?

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Solice Kirsk posted:

Chili is one of those things that you have to go out of your way to gently caress it up. Actually most stews are nearly impossible to gently caress up unless you start tossing random stupid poo poo in there or try to make it too fancy.

Using French onion powder mix is a good way to gently caress it up.

For a guy who claimed "flat loving broke chili" he spend 6x more on the powder rather then just buying a whole onion and dicing it.

Those bragging "aren't I so great" posts where the OP gets completely dunked on are one of the greatest features of SA along with newbies getting tricked into posting a introduction thread into GBS when trying to j4g.

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


Who could have thought that a recipe that started with "use pork to ID the jews" would be bad

Nuns with Guns
Jul 23, 2010

It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

I don't know what that woman had against Sea Lions. They don't hurt anybody that isnt a fish.

The comic itself originally came out in the early days of the #gamergate nightmare. It was a pretty clear mockery of that tactic gaters would employ where they'd search for anyone talking about them on twitter or tumblr or wherever, even in the vaguest terms, and start the whole "actually it's about" argument and dismiss any harassment as anonymous trolls. The key bit being that the debate tactic itself was a form of extended harassment that'd exhaust whoever they were targeting.

I suppose the comic creator used a sealion for a gg stand-in because sealions are funny, and also a bit of a smokescreen against gaters detecting who the comic was about, but then the comic was a sensation and everyone could figure out what the meaning was so that became moot.

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob

Ursine Catastrophe posted:

because the recipes needed to be Manly and the only thing Manly Men are allowed to cook that isn’t on a grill is chili

To be fair, chili is extremely good and also a good way to get rid of fridge odds and ends

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
When I was a child I told my dads that I would never eat oatmeal for breakfast and that when I was an adult I would eat desert for dinner and candy for lunch and also I would play Wolfenstien all day long. I was 22, and newly married to my ex-wife.

Just enjoyed a big plate of Twizzlers and root beer. Or adult spaghetti, as I call it. Get hosed dads.

HopperUK
Apr 29, 2007

Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?
I always assumed the sealion thing was because of the way they'll launch themselves up out of the sea onto a bit of ice or a wharf or whatever they're landing on.

Boba Pearl
Dec 27, 2019

by Athanatos
I think it's kind of funny that the sea-lioning comic was about a very specific microcosm in the internet, but it also can read exactly like "Wealthy white people want to be racist without reprecussions, we should ask them why at every point, giving them no rest." Like I get it's about the first thing with GamerGate, but wow they chose a bad way to portray it.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
I'm gay.

watho
Aug 2, 2013


The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

angerbeet posted:

To be fair, chili is extremely good and also a good way to get rid of fridge odds and ends

Chili owns but it’s like super easy to make and really hard to mess up so the amount of Epic Dudes who wrote smug recipes for it is just really funny to me

Nuns with Guns
Jul 23, 2010

It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Boba Pearl posted:

I think it's kind of funny that the sea-lioning comic was about a very specific microcosm in the internet, but it also can read exactly like "Wealthy white people want to be racist without reprecussions, we should ask them why at every point, giving them no rest." Like I get it's about the first thing with GamerGate, but wow they chose a bad way to portray it.

I guess it says something about how discourse has grown over the years since it was posted

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
I think it's perfectly cool and normal for FYAD to have a hate thread about a trans poster, where they nominally profess to mock their posts but don't bother to quote any of them until 6 pages in. This is healthy and normal behavior that is within the rules, and should be encouraged. They are following the rules and I am happy for them.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!

cumshitter posted:

I think it's perfectly cool and normal for FYAD to have a hate thread about a trans poster, where they nominally profess to mock their posts but don't bother to quote any of them until 6 pages in. This is healthy and normal behavior that is within the rules, and should be encouraged. They are following the rules and I am happy for them.

You're a loving idiot

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
No fuk u

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
I think the funniest part of FYAD is the endless bitching about unbanning people who deserve a ban but somehow a group of folk who have known each other for a decade+ can not come up with $10.

Like, they refuse to spend any money on this website and they demand everyone else cave in to their demands. Just lol.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN
Please stop.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢


I look down and whisper “no”

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!

cumshitter posted:

I think the funniest part of FYAD is the endless bitching about unbanning people who deserve a ban but somehow a group of folk who have known each other for a decade+ can not come up with $10.

Like, they refuse to spend any money on this website and they demand everyone else cave in to their demands. Just lol.

Ok

Crespolini
Mar 9, 2014

cumshitter posted:

I think the funniest part of FYAD is the endless bitching about unbanning people who deserve a ban but somehow a group of folk who have known each other for a decade+ can not come up with $10.

Like, they refuse to spend any money on this website and they demand everyone else cave in to their demands. Just lol.

Huh?

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Yes. It was hard post to parse.

SunAndSpring
Dec 4, 2013
I am trying desperately to find this chili recipe from the Bush years internet where it's some stick figure going "LISTEN UP, gently caress NUGGET, WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOME EPIC loving CHILI HERE" and then proceeds to suggest poo poo like making your own chili powder from scratch with the same exact ingredients that are in store-bought chili powder so you can waste a half hour of your life and pouring a Budweiser into the chili because why not.

edit: also for the love of god why is QCS still locked, admins please release us from this misery, how am I to see the awful chili recipe pic that makes me mad if the FYAD poo poo is happening here and distracting from this

SunAndSpring has a new favorite as of 21:23 on Dec 28, 2019

xcheopis
Jul 23, 2003


SunAndSpring posted:

I am trying desperately to find this chili recipe from the Bush years internet where it's some stick figure going "LISTEN UP, gently caress NUGGET, WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOME EPIC loving CHILI HERE" and then proceeds to suggest poo poo like making your own chili powder from scratch with the same exact ingredients that are in store-bought chili powder so you can waste a half hour of your life and pouring a Budweiser into the chili because why not.

Like this?
https://m.webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/cooking-comically/ep-1-2am-chili-remix/viewer?title_no=622&episode_no=1

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

SunAndSpring posted:

I am trying desperately to find this chili recipe from the Bush years internet where it's some stick figure going "LISTEN UP, gently caress NUGGET, WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOME EPIC loving CHILI HERE" and then proceeds to suggest poo poo like making your own chili powder from scratch with the same exact ingredients that are in store-bought chili powder so you can waste a half hour of your life and pouring a Budweiser into the chili because why not.

I assume you are thinking of this, which eventually spawned this which is somehow still going nearly a decade later

watho
Aug 2, 2013


The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

SunAndSpring posted:

I am trying desperately to find this chili recipe from the Bush years internet where it's some stick figure going "LISTEN UP, gently caress NUGGET, WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOME EPIC loving CHILI HERE" and then proceeds to suggest poo poo like making your own chili powder from scratch with the same exact ingredients that are in store-bought chili powder so you can waste a half hour of your life and pouring a Budweiser into the chili because why not.

ask and ye shall receive

e:f;b

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SunAndSpring
Dec 4, 2013
you're all saints, thank you for making me pissed off about stuff I don't even eat

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