communist kangaroo posted:

is pick still posting hannibal gifs or did i miss the end of that

Ruffini posted:

Sorry you don't understand what banned means on SA

Fucker posted:

I can't tell if dumb lowtax is trolling or genuine or what, a lot of very weird clearly wrong poo poo and theres a surprising amount of people signing off on it unconditionally

Solice Kirsk posted:

I honestly have no idea what flask fucker even is. And I've been here for-loving-ever.

edit:
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume it involves the loving of a flask

Queen Combat posted:

Sorry you don't understand that banning someone like that doesn't get rid of the transphobi---ooooh, I see. You don't actually give a poo poo you just wanted to make an incredulous argument.

just another posted:

Extremely cool to be on the ground floor of another pathetic saga, right here - - - in this thread!!!

AFancyQuestionMark posted:

Posters can post while banned? What a far fetched concept! What are these "alt-accounts" you speak of? I am definitely posting in good faith.

Slanderer posted:

In my personal opinion, transphobia is bad.

UCS Hellmaker posted:

Lets talk about flask fucker

just another posted:

Extremely cool to be on the ground floor of another pathetic saga, right here - - - in this thread!!!

quote:

Calling posters unfunny in a discussion where no one is trying to be funny -- because there's some grievance being discussed. Using that as justification for why the discussion not legitimate as an SA thread (i.e. not funny enough for SA). Justification for why the "funny" posters need to intervene and attend to the rest of the discussion. The supposed "pro-comedy" stance of FYAD is just this thinly disguised common bullying trick.

ArfJason posted:

Ruffini posted:

Transphobia=ban. That's it.

Someone continuing to post means they bought their account back. If you start saying transphobe=permaban that is a different story.

I said nothing of what you just wrote.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I honestly have no idea what flask fucker even is. And I've been here for-loving-ever.

edit:
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume it involves the loving of a flask

ArfJason posted:

Homeless Friend posted:

How about Colorfinger, that guys gotta have some stories about him right? I know the guy but know none of his SA accolades beside his dumbass singing.

ArfJason posted:

littleorv posted:

Not trolling: I legit do not understand this post

Crime on a Dime posted:

the less threads there are the more grey forums lurkers. a hint of drama and they are frothing for it lol

Slanderer posted:

In my personal opinion, transphobia is bad.

Slanderer posted:

i'm here to say that i would never--never--use the f-word.

instead, i use alternatives that empower the womanly aspect, such as "herselves", or "shemales"


thank's

umalt posted:

ArfJason posted:

ArfJason posted:

Tribladeofchaos posted:

Christ didn't we just have an admin come in to stop accusing people of being FYAD and stop bringing that drama in here? This is just going to get the thread closed again

Queen Combat posted:

<thread about sagas>

<current saga about cuntellectual bein' a poo poo pops up, concerns raised because QCS still closed>

<SUDDENLY A DOZEN FYAD POSTERS, posting more in an hour than the last two days, most never in this thread before, miraculously covering up any real concern>

<try to bring up current saga/concern again by mostly trans posters>

<FYAD posters going "nuh uh NEOPETS">


That's the issue. Clear?

woozy pawsies posted:

this is absolute nonsense.

Terrible Opinions posted:

Sestze unironically thank you for having the energy to keep this up.

umalt posted:

quote:

3) The Internet Wants To Know About Your Dick For Science

For this challenge, you are going to have sex with an Erlenmeyer Flask, and then post a Lab Report of how effective it was for pleasuring yourself, and document the experiment with photographs & a write up.

Now let's be absolutely clear: no one here wants to see your junk in an Erlenmeyer Flask. The experiment must remain work-safe at all times, so as not to compromise the validity of your field work. Again - you have to manage to gently caress A Flask but keep it professional and PG-13. You also must keep exact measurements (metric only), and follow the following steps:

Observation
Hypothesis
Experiment (with a control group and a experimental group)
Results
Conclusion

Failure to do so will be in a ban. I sincerely doubt anyone will do this challenge, but I am morbidly curious if GBS will actually commit to such an atrocious act.


Phiffer: If you do not successfully complete a challenge, you will be banned. If you do a half-assed attempt at this challenge, you will be banned. However, if you successfully complete the challenge, you may give any poster in this thread after this post your choice of an avatar.

However, you will be competing with GBS! If anyone else successfully completes a challenge before you do, they may decide your fate! However, if another Goon does a lovely entry, it will backfire and they will be punished!

Normal GBS rules apply, especially the ones about threadshitting, trolling, attention whoring and being creepy. Good luck!


EDIT BY HOODROW TRILLSON:
abraham: if a goon actually fucks a flask for this challenge ill eat my hat

You heard him, folks-- in an IM with me, he said he'd eat his hat if a goon hosed a flask. Get going, people. Abe has just been COUNTERCHALLENGED.

Pick posted:

I'm upset that people asked for Neopets expertise and then shat all over it, despite me having a good memory and being really familiar with that game during a critical point in its relevant timeframe and then acting like it's trolling to provide content about topics being discussed.

quote:

The Efficacy Of Using a 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask As a Reproductive Aid For An Average Homo Sapiens Male

by Dr. Twigand Berries, Phd Reproductive Biologist

with the assistance of Ms. Kay, a Women's Studies/Biology dual major

May 21, 2009

Observation

For the six thousand or so years the Earth has existed, the dominant species of our fair planet, Homo Sapiens, has engaged in sexual reproduction. To propagate our species, we have evolved with certain traits that allow for successful reproduction by making it desirable and advantageous. In the female gender of the species, this manifests in nurturing behavior and various face paints to attract the male of the species to mate with her. In the male gender, which we will discuss here, it is the urge to put his genitalia into holes.

Throughout human history, Homo Sapien males have most likely nearly exhausted the list of possible holes for them to insert their genitals in. Yet, they keep up the pursuit of certain holes above others. These being most commonly the Homo Sapiens Female's vagina and with both ends of the digestive system of either gender being second in popularity. Due to competition and possible hygiene issues many Homo Sapiens Males do not have access to any of these preferred holes (being unable to use his own rectum as a hole), and as such has to make due with lesser holes.

This experiment will test the efficacy of a 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask as a hole to be used to replicate the reproductive experience, and how it compares to a human vagina, anus, mouth, or even hand.

Hypothesis

Let us examine the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask.


There are very obvious features to the flask that make it a prime candidate for genital insertion. First is the most obvious: It has a hole.
But to a more discerning eye, other things are apparent. The shape is reminiscent of certain female body types. It is transparent, so one can watch one's dick in action.

There are also attributes of the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask that many would consider unsuitable for penetration. This would include the size of its hole, that it is glassware, and that it is hard to the touch.

This experiment will be using the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask as a reproductive aid, and will examine the various ways one may enhance the flask to stimulate orgasm. An orgasm will be viewed as the experimental result that will confirm that the Flask is indeed a viable reproductive aid. If no orgasm is reached, other values will be determined to reach a conclusion as to which method of Erlenmeyer stimulation should be used.

These values include:
Length of Erection(cm)
Volume of Erection(dml)
(Explanation: Due to the lab not having a cloth ruler, circumference (allegedly an important measurement) of the erection was not obtainable. Wanting another value to measure the "Desire for the Flask" the experimenters decided upon the volume of the dick in ml...hereafter called Dick Milliliters or dml.)

These values would be determined by removing the penis from the Flask after one minute of loving. This was agreed upon by the experimenters (strongly from Ms. Kay) that this is the test subject's period of having his strongest erections and most likely orgasm during intercourse. The penis of the test subject will be placed next to a ruler for measurement and then it will be placed into this cylinder full of water.

Excess water will spill out of the cylinder.

Which will be poured back into the now empty cylinder for measurement.

This will give us the dml.


Our control will consist of intercourse with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask with no aids.
Our testing groups will consist of intercourse with the Flask using various aids to enhance the reproductive experience of a 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask.

These groups are as follows:

Sex with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask using Petroleum Jelly as a lubricant.
Sex with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask using a Furry Animal Image.
Sex with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask filled with raw hamburger.
Sex with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask while Ms. Kay talks dirty to the test subject.
Sex with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask while it is next to a woman's shoes.
Sex with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask while viewing pornographic images on the internet.
Sex with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask while the test subject wears a woman's shoes.

The experimenters hyphothesize that the most successful erections during testing will be while the test subject is viewing pornographic images due to the test subject's familiarity with this as well as his history of jerking off to it even if his fingers are crusted with super glue after a session of modeling toy soldiers which may mitigate any uncomfortableness of the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask.

Let's begin.


Testing Materials


Experiment

500ml Erlenmeyer Flask Unaided (Control)

Several problems arose in the experiment during the testing of intercourse with the unaided 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask. In anticipation of the experiment, while watching Ms. Kay set up the flask for carnal knowledge, our test subject was already erect upon his attempt to insert his penis into the Flask's hole.

The hole was seemingly too small to accommodate our test subject's genitalia. Upon observing the test subject's penis, Ms. Kay suggested that the test subject calm down and enter the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask while flaccid. This was achieved.
After a minute of moving his penis around inside the flask without any evidence of further erection, the test subject withdrew and the data was recorded.

500ml Erlenmeyer Flask With Petroleum Jelly Lubricant

Ms. Kay prepares the sample.




Due to previous successes with Petroleum Jelly in other experiments, Ms. Kay suggested that the test subject approach the Flask fully erect again. The test subject complied and with Ms. Kay's support we found that his penis would penetrate the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask to a depth of approximately 6 to 8cm. After one minute of more enthusiastic intercourse, the test subject withdrew and the data was recorded.

NOTE Due to the apparent success of the lubrication, the test subject's penis was coated with petroleum jelly before insertion into the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask for every test group following this, with the exception of the raw hamburger, which has its own lubricating properties (fat).

500ml Erlenmeyer Flask With Furry Animal

The experimenters had noted that in the Homo Sapiens community there are various groups that seem to draw sexual pleasure from cute, big eyed animals. The test subject attempted his love making while stimulated by a Furry Stuffed Animal.




In this test, although lubricated, the test subject encountered similar problems that he had with the unlubricated 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask. After one minute, the test subject withdrew and the data was recorded.

500ml Erlenmeyer Flask Filled With Raw Hamburger

Ms. Kay prepares the Flask.




As was discussed, the test subject was unlubricated and inserted his penis into the Flask flaccid, trusting in the hamburger to stimulate him. In previous testing, the test subject often looked at Ms. Kay taking her notes during the experiment, but in this instance he had eyes only for what was going on inside the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask. After one minute, the test subject withdrew and the data was recorded.

The aftermath.


500ml Erlenmeyer Flask With Dirty Talk

During this test, the subject was lubricated and upon entering the flask Ms. Kay began to talk dirty to him.


The dirty talk consisted of "gently caress that flask with your big cock!" and "Oooo..big daddy, I want you to cum into my flask." among other things the experimenters were surprised came out of Ms. Kay's Whore Mouth. The test subject was noted to sweat more profusely during this test. After one minute of dirty talk and flask loving, the test subject withdrew and the data was recorded.

500ml Erlenmeyer Flask With Women's Shoes



Nothing notable occurred during this test. After one minute of lubricated intercourse, the test subject withdrew and the data was recorded.

500ml Erlenmeyer Flask With Internet Pornography
The validity of this test may slightly be compromised due the test subject demanding Ms. Kay leave the room. All Flask loving in this experiment occurred while the test subject was alone with the flask, and possibly can not be included as data. The experimenters will let our colleagues decide.


After one minute in the room, the test subject came out, withdrew, and the data was recorded.

500ml Erlenmeyer Flask With The Test Subject Wearing Women's Shoes
Oddly, this test was done at the request of the test subject.


After one minute of very very enthusiastic intercourse with the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask, the test subject withdrew and the data was recorded.

Data and Results

Control:
7.2cm erection.
124 dml.
No orgasm.


Petroleum Jelly:
9.7cm erection.
164 dml.
No orgasm.


Furry Animal:
4.5cm erection.
74 dml.
No orgasm.


Raw Hamburger:
10.1cm erection.
184 dml.
No orgasm.


Dirty Talk:
11.0cm erection.
194 dml.
No orgasm.


Woman's Shoes:
11.3cm erection.
199 dml.
No orgasm.


Internet Pornography:
10.8cm erection.
190 dml.
No orgasm.


Test Subject Wearing Woman's Shoes:
13.1cm erection.
237 dml.
No orgasm.


Conclusion

Early in the experiment, we deduced that if one only has access to a 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask, and nothing else, it would make a poor reproductive aid and vagina/rear end in a top hat/mouth/hand replacement. Although use of Petroleum Jelly as a lubrication caused us to have more success, no orgasms were recorded in each and every experimental group. As the orgasm is largely the point of inserting your genitals in a hole, we, the experimenters, must conclude that a 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask is a poor choice to gently caress. Although no glass was shattered during the experiment, our test subject continues to complain about some residual pains from the testing process. Although glass is smooth, it does chafe.

In regards to making love with a 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask more productive, the experimenters would recommend a 1000ml Erlenmeyer Flask for it may possibly have a larger hole. We would also recommend you visually stimulate yourself during the intercourse as the Flask does not produce much arousal in you itself.

To compare our testing groups, we found it quite interesting that a flaccid penis taken out of an unlubricated 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask is still larger than a flaccid penis taken out of a lubricated 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask being clutched by a stuffed Tarsier. Also, raw meat just smashes down and does not coat the penis in sticky goodness.

Finally, our experimenters hoped to supply you with a picture of our test subject with his penis inserted within the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask and to have the Flask point up proudly..."No Hands" style. Alas, we found that, even lubricated, the test subject's penis would not enter the flask deep enough to support its glassy body, and gravity would inevitably take over. Due to the intense amounts of lubrication used...this would only cause the flask to drop to the floor (as, lubricated, an erect penis does freely enter and exit the Flask to some degree).

So, alas, we leave you with this picture. We promise the penis is indeed inside the 500ml Erlenmeyer Flask, but due to children possibly reading this lab report, we must black out the relevant proof. The Flask is supported by the test subject's hand for the above reasons.


and a special Thank You to Ms. Kay.


Again, my apologies for no definitive PG-13 proof.

umalt posted:

Snooze Cruise posted:

Ah I am actually starting to read the other posts in this thread and I think this isn't the SaGa thread, my mistake! Gulag if you need anymore tips message me.

Pick posted:

I'm upset that people asked for Neopets expertise and then shat all over it, despite me having a good memory and being really familiar with that game during a critical point in its relevant timeframe and then acting like it's trolling to provide content about topics being discussed.

razorrozar posted:

i cannot be any clearer than this:

gently caress

OFF

just another posted:

Is this some dumb poo poo you authored or are you not sourcing someone else's crybaby bullshit?

Pick posted:

you don't deserve hannibal gifs. supernatural gifs, maybe.