/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Walton Simons posted:

AITA for telling my "nephew" his ps4 was going to be destroyed to teach him a lesson?
...
Last week, my brother-in-law sat him a chair, have a couple of assholes friends holding him and proceed to destroy the ps4 with a baseball bat, while laughing and yelling and recording.
...
they are not bad people, they do weird stuff like taking pictures of my nephews and niece holding signs when they do something wrong (shame pictures), nothing really abusive

lol yes they are bad people, this is what bad and abusive people do to family members

# ? Jan 5, 2020 06:17

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:59

Garrand: Dec 28, 2012; Rhino, you did this to me!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for giving my husbands affair child (now adult) money and a job?

31 year old impregnates 19 year old (if all the numbers are accurate), proceeds to call her trailer trash and bail.

:murder:

# ? Jan 5, 2020 06:19

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

QuarkJets posted:

lol yes they are bad people, this is what bad and abusive people do to family members

Yeah, there's a reason these tactics are literally associated with organised crime.

Also apparently the brother in law is a huge dumbass who does everything he sees on the internet.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 06:25

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Walton Simons posted:

AITA for telling my "nephew" his ps4 was going to be destroyed to teach him a lesson?

They are not abusive parents all the time.

lol at this being her defense of them. Being abusive some of the time is still being abusive.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 06:37

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

therobit posted:

Has anyone told OP's husband that a secretary is not a toy?

they are 30 yr old boomers they dont care

# ? Jan 5, 2020 06:38

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

Barudak posted:

Nobody is gonna care what your grades were at Dartmouth, only that you got the diploma

Does Dartmouth even have a football team?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 06:53

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

snergle posted:

they are 30 yr old boomers they dont care

What are you, twelve? People born in 1990 are boomer's children; its firmly millennial territory.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 07:00

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

QuarkJets posted:

It's an ivy league, it being full of rich fucks goes without saying

If you're low income and get accepted they give you all kind of scholarships to pay those costs, it's all income based. My cousin went to an ivy league and his mom is a secretary and his father died when he was three. But yeah, there's a lot of old money in ivy leagues, no surprise.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 07:02

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Serephina posted:

What are you, twelve? People born in 1990 are boomer's children; its firmly millennial territory.

OK boomer

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jan 5, 2020 07:06

The Chad Jihad: Feb 24, 2007

It's very strange to me that the author thinks that the kids little speech sounded badass

Sjs00 posted:

Depressed, but not too depressed to gently caress

Replacing "match me you cowards" with this

# ? Jan 5, 2020 07:53

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for not letting my MIL and her sisters play a song at our wedding?

So, my wedding was a week ago and I�m still hearing about this �horrible thing� I�ve done. I need some final closure on it before I break somebody.

My MIL and her sisters have �a song� that they play and dance to at every family wedding without fail. I don�t know the name of it, it�s some deep water rap song from the 80�s or 90�s and every other word is a cuss word. It talks about graphic sex and drug use and I hate it. I�m not into music like that, and neither is my fianc�, but he doesn�t say anything to her about it. I made sure to put it on our �do not play list� for the DJ to double check that we wouldn�t be hearing it.

My MIL and her sisters run to the DJ about half way through and ask him to play it. He tells her no, as it�s on our DNP list. She comes over to me and asks why I would do that. I told her that the lyrics weren�t appropriate as I didn�t want my young cousins/siblings and my super Christian grandmother to have to hear it. Her and her sisters told me it wasn�t fair to them, and that they always play it and I don�t have the right to cancel their tradition. I told them I wasn�t going to argue with them at my wedding and that we could fight about it in the morning if it was so important. They sat down and didn�t dance for the rest of the night.

The only reason I feel bad is because we played other songs with swear words, but none nearly as graphic as the one they wanted. And, it ruined the rest of their night because they were upset.

However, I have gotten texts nearly 24/7 from them since the wedding saying stuff like if I wanted to be accepted into their family I needed to accept them, and I have no right since the wedding isn�t just for me and my husband but for everyone else to celebrate too, etc. Finally today I told them that if they texted me again without apologizing for harassing me this past week, that they would not be welcome to stay with us in our home again. They haven�t responded nor have they contacted my husband. He seems to think I overreacted by not letting them play the song, but says they are in the wrong simply because they haven�t left me alone about it.

So, give it to me straight: AITA for not letting them play the song?

the song in question:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxOnC4C5gvg

# ? Jan 5, 2020 08:00

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Deep water rap

# ? Jan 5, 2020 08:14

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I don't think anyone would actually listen to the lyrics, but still, lol.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 08:15

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Dazerbeams posted:

Waiting for the ex-husband's update when he finds out the secretary was just fishing for an ego boost and has no interest in pursuing anything more.

Also she's a lesbian in a committed relationship and was just being friendly.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 08:59

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Walton Simons posted:

AITA for telling my "nephew" his ps4 was going to be destroyed to teach him a lesson?

Ok. I hosed up.

My brother-in-law saw one of those stupid videos where they destroy the video game console in front of the child to teach him a lesson. I heard him planning on doing that to my nephew because he failed 2 courses at school (he is 12). I tried talking them out of it, telling them that's not the way, sell it, hide it, whatever just don't do it.... that was my point.

I told my nephew, what they were going to do, and asked him not to overreact, just tell them you are disappointed, or something that makes them feel bad, if he brings his grades up, I will get him a new PS4, but I want his stupid parents to feel guilty.

Last week, my brother-in-law sat him a chair, have a couple of assholes friends holding him and proceed to destroy the ps4 with a baseball bat, while laughing and yelling and recording.

My nephew had a poker face, did not move at all, and whisper something and laughed. His dad stopped asked everybody to shut up and asked him, what? why are you laughing about?

My nephew said: You humiliated me, you took something that was mine, and humiliated me in front of everybody. You are bigger, stronger... but everybody is helpless when they are asleep. I am laughing because everybody is helpless when they are sleeping.... If you are done, I want to go inside, there something I need to think about.

He had an entire week to prepare what to say, and this is what he came up with, and his delivery was loving scary, I was speechless, everybody was shocked. I said out loud, good parenting everybody, good job, and went after my nephew.

I spoke with my nephew afterward, and he said that he will tell no one I had told him, and he has no plans on doing anything to his parents at all, he just wants to teach him a lesson as I suggested.

Now, my sister book an appointment with a psychologist, they are sleeping with locks on their doors and caused a family crisis.

And I feel like an rear end in a top hat because I just have to tell them what I did to patch things, but honestly, I just want to see where this is going.

Edit.

I tried to answer as many comments as possible but I will provide some more context.

My nephew told me he heard a similar line in a mafia movie, but he doesn't remember which, he told he wrote down some ideas to make the parents feel guilty and chose that one.
it did happen. I am aware of how unbelievably bad-rear end it sound. I share it because I was feeling guilty and because I was proud of my nephew's epic response.
The father tried hiding the controller once to punish him, but he sneak a second controller he borrowed from a friend. They are not abusive parents all the time. They saw a video online, thought it will teach him a lesson. I disagree and thought it was outright traumatic since they didn't listen I thought to give my nephew a heads up.
My sister is super paranoic. Her husband is concerned about his response, but not because he is afraid for his life. My sister is. Which makes things worse for me.
I thought it was a fun thing to share, they are not bad people, they do weird stuff like taking pictures of my nephews and niece holding signs when they do something wrong (shame pictures), nothing physical, nothing really abusive, this was the first and for the looks the last time.
I don't think there is much to update, they will go to therapy and most likely will patch things out. If something worth sharing or worthy of talking about, I will post it.
yes, I feel very proud of my nephew. keeping it cool while it was happening it was way more than what I could have possibly expected.
Edit 2

In retrospective and after reading some comments, they really need therapy. When you see it every day it is hard to notice that some behavior could be toxic. I don't regret what I did, and definitely don't regret posting it here. Reddit can be really insightful sometimes.

Thanks for your comments.

I kinda want to know what movie it's cribbed from

# ? Jan 5, 2020 09:51

Antinumeric: Nov 27, 2010; BoxGiraffe

Garrand posted:

31 year old impregnates 19 year old (if all the numbers are accurate), proceeds to call her trailer trash and bail.

It's ok, no one in the UK uses the term "trailer trash". Also lol that a boomer could use Reddit enough to post that

# ? Jan 5, 2020 10:30

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for giving my husbands affair child (now adult) money and a job?

My (50F) husband (52M) had an affair not long after our first child was born, we now have 6 children.

This was 21 years ago.

The woman who he cheated on me with reached out 6months into the pregnancy and asked for help.

We gave her �900 and paid child support every month, the court ordered amount which I will admit was barely anything (�10 a week)

My husband wanted nothing to do with this woman or this womans child, both trailer park trash as he called them.

This girl reached out recently, she is legally an adult so my husband ignored her.

A few months pass and she comes to our house.

She is pregnant.

We sat down and talked, apparently not too long ago her mother (who would be 40) passed away

I don't think it's fair for her to continue struggling, I want my children to have their sister and I want her to thrive.

I grew up in a wealthy family, I was spoilt- as was my husband and maybe its 21 years late but I think we owe this child something

I offered her a monthly allowance to help us look after the children (6,10,11)

My husband gets home and now we are in a heated argument about how no matter what I should've asked him, this is his child and his choice.

Normally I'd ignore him but even our eldest child (23) agrees

AITA?

Antinumeric posted:

It's ok, no one in the UK uses the term "trailer trash". Also lol that a boomer could use Reddit enough to post that

I don't know UK law, 10 lbs a week for child support, is that plausible? If so what the gently caress

# ? Jan 5, 2020 10:32

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Bonster posted:

If you're low income and get accepted they give you all kind of scholarships to pay those costs, it's all income based. My cousin went to an ivy league and his mom is a secretary and his father died when he was three. But yeah, there's a lot of old money in ivy leagues, no surprise.

Yeah yeah, people love pointing this out but the end of your post winds up agreeing with exactly what I wrote anyway because that's the truth: ivy leagues are full of rich fucks. Those institutions exist primarily to serve rich people, letting in high-achieving poors is necessary to balance out the failsons.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 12:09

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Seriously can we loving stop calling every single story fake? I thought we agreed on page 2 of this thread that it doesn't contribute anything meaningful to the thread.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 12:14

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Jack Trades posted:

Seriously can we loving stop calling every single story fake? I thought we agreed on page 2 of this thread that it doesn't contribute anything meaningful to the thread.

Welcome to page 5990 Jack Trades

# ? Jan 5, 2020 12:17

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

Jack Trades posted:

Seriously can we loving stop calling every single story fake? I thought we agreed on page 2 of this thread that it doesn't contribute anything meaningful to the thread.

EVERY STORY IN THIS THREAD IS REAL

oh gently caress every story in this thread is real

# ? Jan 5, 2020 12:51

Pyrus Malus: Nov 22, 2007; APPLES

r/relationships: I am aware of how unbelievably bad-rear end it sounds.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 13:39

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

The Chad Jihad posted:

It's very strange to me that the author thinks that the kids little speech sounded badass

Replacing "match me you cowards" with this

Whatever happened to the tindr.jpg thread

# ? Jan 5, 2020 14:42

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

QuarkJets posted:

Yeah yeah, people love pointing this out but the end of your post winds up agreeing with exactly what I wrote anyway because that's the truth: ivy leagues are full of rich fucks. Those institutions exist primarily to serve rich people, letting in high-achieving poors is necessary to balance out the failsons.

Totally agreed.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 15:16

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Antinumeric posted:

It's ok, no one in the UK uses the term "trailer trash". Also lol that a boomer could use Reddit enough to post that

Do they have an analogous term like "caravan chav"?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 15:28

Tashilicious: Jul 17, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Do they have an analogous term like "caravan chav"?

they just call them working class

# ? Jan 5, 2020 15:32

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

HOT BREAD! posted:

Unemployed European husband

Bear in mind Europe includes, like, Bosnia. That was probably more stressful in the 90s than working in America.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:18

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Sjs00 posted:

Whatever happened to the tindr.jpg thread

It got gassed because it became a thread for making creepy comments about women's dating profiles.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:20

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Sjs00 posted:

Whatever happened to the tindr.jpg thread

From what I remember of looking into it when it had done its thing for a bit, it very quickly devolved into "look at this loser, can you believe they turned me down? And the whole thing became more sad than funny.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:33

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Do they have an analogous term like "caravan chav"?

It's just chav, no one lives in trailers or caravans in this country.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:37

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for mocking Cats (2019) in the theater?

I watched the trailer and thought the movie was going to be a complete trashfire, but a fun trashfire regardless. So I settled in with my friends and a drink in hand, ready to roast.

I had a great time. I don�t think I was being too loud, just a few spoken words to my friends and some muffled giggling, but maybe the drink fudged my perception a little.

Afterwards a man told us off for ruining his movie experience. I was honestly surprised. Judging by all the critic�s reviews I thought everyone was signing up for the same experience.

So AITA?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:46

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My (20M) girlfriend (20F) photoshopped my penis and I feel weird about it

quote:

A bit NSFW. I made a separate account for this even though the details are kinda specific.

We've been dating for 8 months since meeting at uni. She sort of has a weird sense of humour but it's never really bothered me. At the moment we're both home for Christmas so we send each other nudes.

She sent me some pictures and videos and I sent her a video of me ejaculating and then we just chatted casually for a bit. Then she texts me saying 'please don't kill me' and I said 'why?'.

I then get a photo message- a screenshot of the moment I began to cum with spiderman photoshopped on the head of my penis so it looks like he's shooting my cum from his hands. I honestly felt a bit baffled why she would send me this or even take the time to photoshop it so I just didn't reply to her. She messaged me an hour later and said 'hey I'm sorry if you found that to be immature and unfunny. I was being silly, I love your body so much and I'm sorry I made a joke out of it'.

I know I should have probably replied to this but I just don't really know if i feel respected by her. Like she said 'please don't kill me' before sending it so surely she knew it would sort of bother me?

I don't know if I'm overreacting here, it's my first relationship. Any feedback would be appreciated.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:47

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for mocking Cats (2019) in the theater?

I watched the trailer and thought the movie was going to be a complete trashfire, but a fun trashfire regardless. So I settled in with my friends and a drink in hand, ready to roast.

I had a great time. I don�t think I was being too loud, just a few spoken words to my friends and some muffled giggling, but maybe the drink fudged my perception a little.

Afterwards a man told us off for ruining his movie experience. I was honestly surprised. Judging by all the critic�s reviews I thought everyone was signing up for the same experience.

So AITA?

I'm honestly surprised they didn't include the line "It was just like MST3K!"

These people are never as funny as they think they are.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:48

mossyfisk: Nov 8, 2010; FF0000

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Do they have an analogous term like "caravan chav"?

Not unless they're irish or romany.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:50

Peg Sliderskew: Jan 4, 2010

Kitchner posted:

It's just chav, no one lives in trailers or caravans in this country.

Not a fan of the word (considered racist by many) but pikey is probably analogous.

And he must have been doing some seriously creative accounting to end up with a child support payment that low (less than someone on basic benefits would pay), so maybe that could be leverage?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:51

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Walked in living room to parents on drugs?

quote:

I don't know where to start here but basically both of my parents told me I was Yuan-ti which turns out is an imaginary race of Snake people. Now, since this came out they've been acting different. Idk if it's because their truth is out or whatever but they have gone petal to the metal on this snake thing. What use to be something they never talked about has been all they mention and it's driving me crazy. They said if I chose to live on campus They won't help me pay for school because I'd be too far from their shrine. They got me so upset that I tore down the shrine we kept in the house. It was there forever but I'm so over it. That was the last thing I did before I left for the day. When I got home I walked in to my parents sitting in the living room on the floor naked, mouths gaping open, brillo padding each other. I just left back out the front door and didn't know what to do so here I am at my friends house. Were they on drugs? Does anyone know what would make someone do this? The gently caress did I just see, what do I do?

Okay, somebody has to ask it: what the hell is brillo padding?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 17:00

henkman: Oct 8, 2008

DemoneeHo posted:

My (20M) girlfriend (20F) photoshopped my penis and I feel weird about it

That owns

# ? Jan 5, 2020 17:01

Grassy Knowles: Apr 4, 2003; "The original Terminator was a gritty fucking AMAZING piece of sci-fi. Gritty fucking rock-hard MURDER!"

DemoneeHo posted:

Walked in living room to parents on drugs?

Okay, somebody has to ask it: what the hell is brillo padding?

Rubbing each other with steel wool pads is my only understanding of this

# ? Jan 5, 2020 17:03

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for outing my friends Mother in law�s �profession� as not real?

I met my best friends MIL recently for the first time during a family dinner. I was warned that she was �really into nutrition� but that she had no formal education and was self taught. Backstory: I have my Bachelors of Science in Nutrition. MIL was nice enough, about 5 minutes into our meal she starts talking about how she has started selling a supplement (juice based) and proceeds to hand me her freshly printed business card. It says she is a �certified nutritionist� (she doesn�t know my educational background).

Fact: there is no such thing as a� certified nutritionist� in fact the word nutritionist holds no meaning academically, anyone can claim this. (If you want to see a professional, make sure they are a registered dietitian)

I tried to change the subject several times. But when she said something along the lines of : �I specialize in food intolerances and allergies� I called her out. I told her calmly (in my regular speaking voice.... the table could hear) that how she promoted herself was dangerous, and there was no such thing as a certified nutritionist. I added that she could be found liable if one of her �patients� had adverse effects due to her negligence.

She is upset now and insists that I embarrassed her in front of her family. Should I have said nothing? Or perhaps spoken to her in private? AITA?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 17:08

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:59

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

DemoneeHo posted:

Walked in living room to parents on drugs?

Okay, somebody has to ask it: what the hell is brillo padding?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 17:09

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