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DemoneeHo posted:My (20M) girlfriend (20F) photoshopped my penis and I feel weird about it marry this woman too many people take sex way too loving seriously for the absurd comedy it is
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Jan 5, 2020 17:09
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DemoneeHo posted:Walked in living room to parents on drugs? From the title I thought it was crack-smoking related, but then there’s so much weird snake poo poo in there I don’t know if it’s related to that, or... gently caress, man.
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Jan 5, 2020 17:11
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i thought it was gonna be he had a micropenis and she photoshopped it to be bigger for a swingers website or something. the spiderman thing is refreshingly cute, he's a moron.
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Jan 5, 2020 17:11
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oh and while i haven't heard "brillo padding" specifically before, it obviously refers to the common use of a tuft of steel wool or scouring pad as a filter in a crack pipe. e: huh he specifically asked "were they on drugs" though. but all the paranoid conspiracy stuff sounds exactly like people on crack. maybe they literally were scrubbing each other with scouring pads Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 17:19 on Jan 5, 2020 |
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Jan 5, 2020 17:16
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Sagebrush posted:oh and while i haven't heard "brillo padding" specifically before, it obviously refers to the common use of a tuft of steel wool or scouring pad as a filter in a crack pipe. Urban dictionary defines it as rubbing ones afro on someone for the purpose of tickling them. Sounds like something baked people would do
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Jan 5, 2020 17:28
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Sagebrush posted:oh and while i haven't heard "brillo padding" specifically before, it obviously refers to the common use of a tuft of steel wool or scouring pad as a filter in a crack pipe. I suspect it was this, meth makes users overheat and become really itchy. Getting naked and taking each other's skin off does not sound like a bad idea to people on meth. Opiates can cause itchiness, too.
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Jan 5, 2020 17:43
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AITA for telling my friend that her “open relationship” is making her look dumb? I recently met up with a friend who called me up and told me she was struggling with depression. I hadn’t seen her in a while, so we went on a friend date to see dinner and a movie. While we were at dinner, we were talking about our relationships. We met our partners around the same time over a year ago. She told me that she and her partner decided to have an open relationship. Although the relationship is “open” he’s sleeping with people and she’s not. This guy is living at her house, not paying any bills and sleeping with other women? I told her that he was making her look like a plum fool, and that it might be the reason she’s feeling depressed and has low self esteem. She went off about how I’m uptight and judge mental about open relationships. She said that I didn’t have the confidence to share my partner. I told her that I surely don’t! And that she’s sharing her partner but he’s not sharing her. And maybe if she didn’t share her partner she wouldn’t call me and tell me how ugly she’s feeling, and how depressed she is. We ended our fiend date obviously. Before I hear from some other people I would like to know if I come off as an rear end in a top hat. I’ll apologize if I do. From my perspective, I was just telling her the hard truth as I saw it. PS I know that this is toeing the line but it’s not about breakups/hookups/cheating. Just about how the conversation went down.
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Jan 5, 2020 17:57
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Sagebrush posted:oh and while i haven't heard "brillo padding" specifically before, it obviously refers to the common use of a tuft of steel wool or scouring pad as a filter in a crack pipe. Yeah, the OP confirmed in the comments that his parents were scrubbing each other with brillo pads
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Jan 5, 2020 18:01
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AWarmBody posted:Yeah, the OP confirmed in the comments that his parents were scrubbing each other with brillo pads That just raises further questions
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Jan 5, 2020 18:28
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They’re shedding their skin like a snake does This is not difficult, people
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Jan 5, 2020 18:30
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my friend that her “open relationship” is making her look dumb? 
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Jan 5, 2020 18:36
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Sagebrush posted:marry this woman Basically this. I and my girlfriend are not into sending nudes but if we were and she did this I would be crying with laughter
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Jan 5, 2020 18:48
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for outing my friends Mother in law’s “profession” as not real? If she's embarassed it means she knows she's a charlatan and doesn't like being called on her bullshit. Anyone like this willing to make health claims and back it up by saying they are certified or licensed should be openly shamed and denounced.
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Jan 5, 2020 19:04
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send the H2O molecule allergy girl to the certified nutritionist after the trolland spring libertarian guy's mother secretly puts water in her gravy
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Jan 5, 2020 19:18
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The Yuan-ti are snake people from Dungeons&Dragons. I know that story is fake but I love it.
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Jan 5, 2020 19:35
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His TIFU post from a week ago is also a good read TIFU Unknowingly Applying to College as a Fictional Race. quote:So little backstory, to my knowledge I'm just about a 8th Native American. My parents didn't raise me spiritual or anything but I knew they did have a little shrine they liked to keep some things and whatever it was just part of the house I had friends ask me about and it was nothing crazy. They are also really fond of leathers and animal skins which... Cringe but anyway. When I got old enough I asked my parents what tribe we were and I was told the Yuan-Ti. Now I didnt know anything of it but I did tell my friends in elementary school and whatever and bragged I was close to nature (as you do). So recently I applied to colleges and since you only have to be 1/16 native I thought I had this in the bag. Confirmed with my parents and sent in my applications as 1/8th Yuan-ti tribe. I found out all these years that is a fictional race of snake people from Dungeons and Dragons. TLDR: since I was a kid my parents told me I was native Yuan-ti but actually they were just nerds and I told everyone I know that I was a fictional snake person. TIFU Applying to College as a Fictional Race UPDATE quote:So, I've been accepted to 2 schools even with my screw up but turns out that old mess is the least of my problems right now. After a conversation with my parents they wouldn't drop the Yuan-Ti thing. They apologized for telling me but not for lying, for telling me "this way." After some argument I told them I was gonna live on campus in a dorm and they said that I couldn't, and they wouldn't financially support me if I tried. Their reason was "I would be too far from the shrine for too long." I took apart their shrine since nobody was home, I hope that wasn't too mean. Also some of you wondered my actual Heritage it turns out my great-grandmother was actually native but I won't be cashing in on that. And as for what tribe I don't know. She was kicked out or something and didn't talk about it before she died.
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Jan 5, 2020 20:04
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for wanting my wife to wear a ring? A millions pages back but, seriously, who is this guy that is somehow angry about having a hot wife that makes lots of money? Oh no. Anything but that.
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Jan 5, 2020 20:10
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Smirking_Serpent posted:We ended our fiend date obviously. Fiend dating is a pretty good euphemism for these failing open relationships.
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Jan 5, 2020 20:29
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UPDATE on the teddy bear storyquote:First of all I'd like to say thank you to you all, I did not expect to get that many comments. I'm safe for those who were worried. You all really scared me though. I had many questions that were asked so I'm quickly going to reply to the ones I saw the most often :
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Jan 5, 2020 20:34
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Pinecone Sample posted:UPDATE on the teddy bear story I'm just joking when I constantly insert a teddy bear into our love life!
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Jan 5, 2020 20:55
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Well I prefer to believe that he’s just a moron rather than that he was molested
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Jan 5, 2020 21:00
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my friend that her “open relationship” is making her look dumb? polyamory desperately yearns for acknowledgement on par with actual LGBT identities so her friend is prob just gonna go around describing her as a bigot. no way to deal with poly folks unless you too believe polyamory is the big IQ trick to ethically loving multiple partners that society just doesn't want you to know
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Jan 5, 2020 21:03
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As a gay man my trick to ethically loving multiple partners is just to not enter a relationship. I think a lot of the weirdos seen in this thread might benefit themselves and their partners by doing the same.
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Jan 5, 2020 21:05
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for outing my friends Mother in law’s “profession” as not real? You don't blow up and call it fake right off the bat. The power move is to force them to admit it. "Certified? Where do you get that certification? You just buy it online if you qualify, huh? Neat. Uh-huh, and what did you have to do to qualify? What school did you go to? A weekend retreat? Do you think I should go get it? I only studied for 4 years at an accredited university...."
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Jan 5, 2020 21:06
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Mr. Lobe posted:As a gay man my trick to ethically loving multiple partners is just to not enter a relationship. I think a lot of the weirdos seen in this thread might benefit themselves and their partners by doing the same. yeah it's pretty loving insane that ppl are trying to cobble together some emotionally dysfunctional ecosystem to gently caress multiple partners instead of the extremely obvious "yo just keep it casual" approach everyone else in the world uses. I think it's horny people with really poor boundaries and emotional issues that would be better dealt with in therapy than some crew of hosed up peeps that may or may not see you as a fleshlight with feelings you have to manipulate every "poly" person I've met just has this big rear end list of mental illnesses that they don't seem very serious about dealing with and I can't help but feel that the identity is a bandaid to never have to deal with your issues Marzzle fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Jan 5, 2020 |
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Jan 5, 2020 21:10
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for mocking Cats (2019) in the theater? You probably shouldn't have sat near the dude in a full fursuit
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Jan 5, 2020 21:14
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QuarkJets posted:You probably shouldn't have sat near the dude in a full fursuit the reddit comments are all YTA like more than 5 people went to see that movie sincerely
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Jan 5, 2020 21:41
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Sagebrush posted:marry this woman Smirking_Serpent posted:i thought it was gonna be he had a micropenis and she photoshopped it to be bigger for a swingers website or something.  (the world needs more of this)
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Jan 5, 2020 21:57
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MrQwerty posted:the reddit comments are all YTA like more than 5 people went to see that movie sincerely reddit is a furry nature reserve so that's to be expected
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Jan 5, 2020 22:01
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Lucrece posted:AITA for telling someone disabled they should leave the gym I hate people who think it's on them to "take charge" in places/situations where nothing has anything to do with them.
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Jan 5, 2020 22:09
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spacetoaster posted:I hate people who think it's on them to "take charge" in places/situations where nothing has anything to do with them. You don't understand, keeping fatties out of the gym is the responsibility of all rightful gym patrons.
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Jan 5, 2020 22:12
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MrQwerty posted:the reddit comments are all YTA like more than 5 people went to see that movie sincerely They sure as hell didn't go to hear this fucker. Silence in the goddamn theatre or yta.
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Jan 5, 2020 23:19
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QuarkJets posted:You probably shouldn't have sat near the dude in a full fursuit He wasn't in a fursuit, he was gonna just CGI his outfit on himself afterwards.
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Jan 5, 2020 23:23
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Marzzle posted:polyamory desperately yearns for acknowledgement on par with actual LGBT identities so her friend is prob just gonna go around describing her as a bigot. no way to deal with poly folks unless you too believe polyamory is the big IQ trick to ethically loving multiple partners that society just doesn't want you to know Even outside that whole thing, I think that poly stuff would get less ridicule if they could A)Ever shut the gently caress up about it And B) stop thinking they were more enlightened because they were poly over being monogamous, which kind of ties into A. Being poly isn’t a good substitute for a personality.
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Jan 5, 2020 23:30
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AITA for not wanting to pick up a pizza after working all day? I work as a nanny for two kids. Both parents work 12 hour shifts, and the kids are 6y and 6mo. The 6yo is autistic, and has been a handful since the baby came along as she is not adjusting well to not being an only child at all. The baby is a handful because she’s, well, a baby who’s teething and exploring and learning that when she smacks people and pulls their hair they make funny noises and faces. I love kids, I love my job, and I love these two specific kids to death, but my god it is exhausting and the hours are long. Both parents commute 45 minutes to work so I have to be in their home an hour before their shifts begin—my workdays begin at the lovely hour of 5am. They end at 7pm, sometimes later depending on whether they actually make it out of work on time. I worked today. I’ve been up since 4am, and the kids were both particularly cranky and difficult today. The 6yo is getting frustrated with the lack of routine from being on holiday for so long, on top of already being frustrated with the baby. The baby is teething and had an upset stomach all day, accompanied by copious amounts of spit up and blown out diapers. By the time I got home at 8pm I was exhausted, sore, and smelly from being puked on and dealing with a poop-splosion. All I wanted to do was shower and curl up in bed with my BF and I’s puppy. But, my boyfriend tempted me with the offer of a pizza—on him. We ordered the pizza, I thanked him, and then headed off to go take a shower... until I was stopped. He asked what I was doing, and when I said taking a shower he said, “But you have to go pick up the pizza?” Record scratch, what? I told him I was tired and asked if he could please pick it up because I just needed a quick shower to clean up and unwind. But no, that’s not fair, he buys I fly according to him. We argued a little bit about the fact that I’d worked all day while he’d gotten to sleep in and spend the day kicked back playing video games. He dug his heels in on the fact that “it’s only fair. I buy, you fly.” Eventually I got fed up and went and got the drat pizza. I didn’t even eat any, just dropped it on the counter and then resumed my plans of showering. After awhile we did talk and I expressed that I found it a little hurtful he couldn’t just make the short trip outside to get the pizza since I worked all day, and had to be up for work again tomorrow. And the next day. He apologized but still believes that it’s “the principle” of being fair. I think it’s bullshit he couldn’t go get the pizza to let me relax a little bit, considering I always go to pick up takeout or cook when he’s worked all day and I haven’t. Now I’m wondering, AITA for not wanting to pick up a pizza my boyfriend paid for because I worked all day and he didn’t? He did pay for it so I can see the standpoint of it being “fair” but I feel like it was his offer, and sometimes being kind should take precedence over being fair.
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Jan 5, 2020 23:57
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Wonder how he feels about the principle of not having a girlfriend
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Jan 5, 2020 23:58
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MrQwerty posted:the reddit comments are all YTA like more than 5 people went to see that movie sincerely I don’t care what the movie is, anyone who thinks the rest of the theatre wants to hear their riffing is TA
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Jan 5, 2020 23:59
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for what it's worth, I did see Cats pretty high, and I was completely silent the whole time. Every other person (10 or so) was bursting out in laughter during a lot of dramatic moments. Honestly, I don't think it affected things one way or another.
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Jan 6, 2020 00:04
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Laughing is perfectly acceptable
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Jan 6, 2020 00:18
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not wanting to pick up a pizza after working all day?
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