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AItA for refusing my MIL's offer of "free" childcare? My MIL has offered to provide childcare for my son, her grandson, for one year (from approx. 5 months of age until 17 months). The stipulation is that my wife and I provide her with an apartment in which she will live for those 12 months. I've offered our home up to her, but she refused and stated that she would like an apartment in order to have her own space. We live in a fairly particular part of Pennsylvania where the winters can be fairly severe and the summers equally so. I just don't see the necessity of paying our mortgage and a monthly rent on someone else's apartment. When adding up the cost of the apartment, the probable utilities payments, and whatever outings she decides to take my son on, it seems very likely that this arrangement would be either close to or more expensive than the cost of a legitimate and licensed childcare business, of which we have several reputable options nearby. My wife and I disagree on the matter. She wants to provide her mother with the apartment, I would like to again offer up our home before most likely ending up saying "Thanks, but no thanks." Am I the rear end in a top hat?
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Jan 6, 2020 00:24
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FilthyImp posted:Dump this dickwad. Into the vat of metal at the end of Terminator 2.
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Jan 6, 2020 00:28
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not wanting to pick up a pizza after working all day? "I'm taking a shower and I'm not going out again today. If you really, truly feel that after I worked 14 hours of physical labor it's not 'fair' for you to have to go get it, then I guess you wasted your money," like why is it so impossible for people to ever stand up for themselves. Smirking_Serpent posted:AItA for refusing my MIL's offer of "free" childcare? You're an idiot for thinking it's a good idea to have your MiL be your kid's primary caregiver if you ever want your parenting decisions to be respected, and irredeemably loving stupid for thinking you want your MiL to move in with you.  Even your wife knows that's a bad idea.
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Jan 6, 2020 00:31
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AITA for telling my step-daughters that I love my son more?quote:I'm 37(M) with two girls and a boy and am married (to their mother). The girls are 12 and 14 respectively. My son is 6. His mother passed when he was 2. I got remarried when he was 4 - so my son is my biological son.
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Jan 6, 2020 00:31
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AItA for refusing my MIL's offer of "free" childcare? This is a tough one and it really depends on how much you like/trust your MIL. If it's almost even or slightly more expensive for cost then I'd say go with the MIL because that option just seems better overall, like it's a clear win-win to have a dedicated nanny who can be called on to babysit for the occasional date night instead of just a daycare. But this is all very contingent on how you feel about your MIL. The fact that this comes down to "I want her to live with us instead of somewhere else" I guess means that that's not a concern Having your MIL live with you for a year would probably suck in any case btw
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Jan 6, 2020 00:34
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Pinecone Sample posted:AITA for telling my step-daughters that I love my son more? Why the gently caress are you in this relationship?!
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Jan 6, 2020 00:34
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Danaru posted:Why the gently caress are you in this relationship?! The parents deserve each other, the kids, of course, do not.
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Jan 6, 2020 00:43
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not wanting to pick up a pizza after working all day?
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Jan 6, 2020 01:13
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AITA for playing chess with my dad while my girlfriend cooked with my momquote:I'm 23 and my GF is 20. We've been together for two years. I live with my parents. Me and my GF both come from "traditional" families where women cook and clean while men make (more of) the money. My girlfriend is really against this viewpoint and thinks things should be equally split in a relationship and I agree with her.
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Jan 6, 2020 01:17
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MagusofStars posted:The fact it's pizza makes this all the more absurd that he expected her to leave the house to get it. Pizza is literally the original delivery food, just pay the extra $5 dude. But then it wouldn't be faaaaaaaair. Not quite the same, but my mom will often be disappointed if I get home and didn't pick up dinner on the way. The thing is, she wants fast food and literally drives by the same places I do on the way home. The fact she could easily pick up dinner herself never occurs to her. As for the above story, what the loving gently caress. A former neighbor of mine had this issue; the stepkids never spoke to him, and his own sons were treated like poo poo by his new wife. There was a clear favoristism by the wife for her own kids. Even as the teenage babysitter it was noticable.
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Jan 6, 2020 01:20
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Cowslips Warren posted:But then it wouldn't be faaaaaaaair. That was my favorite part of that story. It wasn't even supposed to be fair in the first place. The dude pitched it to his girlfriend as him treating her.
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Jan 6, 2020 01:28
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AITA For Refusing To Go On The Last Family Vacation? I've been confirmed to a wheelchair almost my entire life though somehow my family has never noticed. Every year my grandfather takes the entire family on a luxury vacation in January. The problem is, these trips are always centered around outdoor activities that can't be navigated by a wheelchair. As a kid who couldn't say no, I ended up sitting in the hotel room on most of these trips while everyone else went skiing, hiking etc. When I got old enough to ask for a vacation to an easier place to navigate like some cities I wanted to visit like NYC, Toronto, Vancouver etc. my grandfather and uncles dismissed me out of hand because we "spend so much time indoors when we're not on vacation, why go to a city to spend time inside buildings?" So I just said gently caress it I won't go anymore. I thought maybe my absence would help my family get the picture but they've now gone on the trip for years without me, sometimes even talking to me about certain hikes they did as if I were there. Usually they remember when I asked how I climbed the cave wall in the chair. So now grandpa says he's getting too old for these trips, so he's going to take the entire family to a far off place for yet another outdoorsy hiking trip. I told him unless we go somewhere accessible to me that I'd be sitting it out. My grandfather called me ungrateful, and now my uncles are calling me up and jumping between guilting me skipping our "last real trip as a family" and calling me an ungrateful poo poo. I've called them all ableist assholes for how they treat me all these years and now the entire family has refused to speak to me except my parents. AITA?
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Jan 6, 2020 01:30
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA For Refusing To Go On The Last Family Vacation? THIS TIME its important you attend!!
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Jan 6, 2020 01:37
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Mr. Lobe posted:Wonder how he feels about the principle of not having a girlfriend He's 100% banking on her feeling the kids mean this is the best she can get in the dating market.
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Jan 6, 2020 01:48
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AItA for refusing my MIL's offer of "free" childcare? print out the coconut oil story and wallpaper your house with it. Serephina posted:What are you, twelve? People born in 1990 are boomer's children; its firmly millennial territory. boomer is a state of mind and there are a lot of 30 yr olds who have the state of mind shockingly they were raised by their lead poisoned parents into this way of thinking. ok boomer snergle fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Jan 6, 2020 |
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Jan 6, 2020 01:51
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Pinecone Sample posted:AITA for telling my step-daughters that I love my son more? Dad is about to have a fatal horse accident or something. Hope junior likes cleaning.
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Jan 6, 2020 02:41
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA For Refusing To Go On The Last Family Vacation?
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Jan 6, 2020 03:34
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AITAH for confronting my boyfriend's cheating ex?quote:Sorry this is a long one, but I'm upset and need an opinion...
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Jan 6, 2020 03:57
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Lucrece posted:AITAH for confronting my boyfriend's cheating ex? congrats you're the crazy new girlfriend
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Jan 6, 2020 04:37
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Three years, loving WHORE!
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Jan 6, 2020 05:06
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Three years, loving WHORE! I know, right? How DARE she have the audacity to move on even though he's done exactly the same thing!
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Jan 6, 2020 05:38
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Barudak posted:Nobody is gonna care what your grades were at Dartmouth, only that you got the diploma
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Jan 6, 2020 06:17
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(25)My Husband Will Not Do Any Housework... But He Thinks (32)He’s a Feminist. My husband can be very sweet and helpful. He respects women, thinks there’s a lot of ridiculous sexism out there, and is always encouraging me to try my best to prove myself capable (I now practice football with him and his guy friends). But here’s where my frustration comes in. We both work, him as an electrician, me as a package handler. I start my job at 3:30am and usually get done around 9:00-9:30am. I come home, shower, do my laundry, empty and reload the dishwasher, make myself food, and either head for the gym, or a cleaning job (I always have at least one a week, but an average three when it’s not around the holidays). I then do the grocery shopping, plan dinner, and clean whatever else. I’m the only one who vacuums, sweeps, mops, takes out the trash, washes dishes, cleans the shower, toilet, sinks, countertops, dusts, cleans the cat box, and keeps the car clean. He goes to work between 7:30-8:30 and gets home between 3:00-4:30. He works roughly 30-35 hours a week. He gets home, dumps his dirty clothes on the floor, showers, eats the dinner I make him, and either goes out to his shop to tinker, or plays video games on his computer. We made the same amount of money for the year of 2019. Why an I the only one cleaning?! He acts like I’m asking him to retrieve the moon if I ask him to clean, or he says, “only for an hour, I have things I want to do.” We all have things we want to do. But only one of us is prioritizing our time for what’s important. He also chides me if I let the gas tank get below empty, if I leave the toaster on the counter, or if the cat kicked litter out of the box. The longer we’ve been married, the less he does. I feel like giving up and moving into the basement, tbh. I feel like he’s just encouraging me to do my best so that way he can take advantage of everything I’m doing. And he’s always saying, “oh, you don’t have to do that,” when of course I do, no one else is going to feed us if I don’t cook. He’ll say things like, “you should play something on the switch” when I’m in the middle of cleaning, like it assuages his guilt or something. I always respond, “no, this needs to get done or it never will.” But I digress; how do I help him understand that he needs to take on some of the physical load, and the mental load? Tl;dr my husband is lazy and thinks he has a right to be because he’s an electrician, and that’s I don’t need to be cleaning, except for the fact it won’t get done otherwise.
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Jan 6, 2020 06:32
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CannonFodder posted:Sure, but the daughter was on academic warning and possible academic probation so she was in danger of not getting the diploma. Cs get Degrees but she wasn't managing that for the past semester and that's why she's on warning. Agreed, just the goal need not be "get her to be an A student" and instead just get her to be passing
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Jan 6, 2020 06:37
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Smirking_Serpent posted:(25)My Husband Will Not Do Any Housework... But He Thinks (32)He’s a Feminist. Um, It’s called being a masculinist. 
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Jan 6, 2020 06:40
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Oh look, another bang maid with no communication skills.
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Jan 6, 2020 06:57
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Part of being a male feminist is admitting that women are superior at everything and allowing them to exercise that superiority by doing all my chores, tyvm, wanna play some mario??
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Jan 6, 2020 07:00
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Cat Army
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WIBTA If I posted a video montage online of my neighbor throwing things in my yard? My mom and I bought a duplex for me to manage and live in during my years in college. Bought the house in 2018, I moved in the summer of 2019. We installed a ring video security system, along with a front yard doorbell and backyard video floodlights. When I moved in, there were a ton of branches and limbs by my neighbors fence. That was odd since we only had one medium-sized tree, nearly ten feet from the fence. Later that summer, the backyard ring camera caught the neighbor throwing branches over. We realized that that is where the huge pile came from. Halloween came around and my roommate and I decided to throw a party on Friday, November 1st. We tried to talk to Ms. Stick thrower, but they were not home during our three attempts. We left a note explaining it, along with our names and numbers. The party was 30+ people coming and going, along with music and a beerpong table in the backyard. Cops were (rightfully) called at 11:45PM; we shut it down. The 4th, I was in class and got a front doorbell notification. It was Ms. Stick thrower pulling up my decorative styrofoam tombstones and throwing them behind my bushes. When I got home I saw that one was broken. My roommate and I decided to call the non-emergency line about this, because obviously she had no respect for us, and this is the south so anyone could have a gun. A cop came out, we showed her everything, and we went to talk to the neighbor. Her fiancee opened the door, claimed she was not home despite her car being there. Anyways, time went on and I noticed that she came into our backyard via a gate, which was deep in my backyard. This freaked me out, as video showed her smoking and wandering around my backyard. I put a carabiner on the gate to keep her out. End of November, I come home and see these huge limbs flying over the fence. I get out, confront her, we argue, and she claims that she owns two feet of my backyard. She ends the conversation with "Do you want to make these next four years a living hell?" Called the non-emergency number, and once again she hid from the cops. I found out that she is a professor at my university. I emailed the dean of students, told him everything and provided proof. Their resources were useless, and I am beyond fed up. Cops say they can't do anything, despite video evidence and four no trespassing signs. I want her to stop. We got a survey done, and she does NOT own two feet into my backyard. I have edited together a video montage of her throwing limbs, branches, sticks, rocks, and cigarettes together, along with her trespassing in my backyard. WIBTA if I posted this video online with the caption "University Professor's Actions"? Edit: I have spoken to my mom and we just sent an email, entailing all the details plus video, to her Dean. Also, I posted to legal advice. Edit: Wow, okay, really did not expect this to get so much traction. I appreciate everyone's advice, and I plan on making many calls tomorrow. The Dean's office reopens tomorrow as well, so I might hear back from them then. Not sure whats going on with my legal post, I'll try to fix it. There is also NO TREES/BRANCHES HANGING OVER THE FENCE. She is throwing branches from her yard into mine. In the beginning, I threw the branches back over, but they would magically appear with even more. So I gave up.
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Jan 6, 2020 07:01
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Why the gently caress does this person think the dean would care? "Hi, this employee is doing something even cops don't give a poo poo about in their own home, please help" Also this line made me laugh quote:Cops were (rightfully) called at 11:45PM; we shut it down.
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Jan 6, 2020 07:22
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I think OP is just trying to acknowledge that they're not a perfect completely silent neighbor.
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Jan 6, 2020 07:24
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dudeness posted:Part of being a male feminist is admitting that women are superior at everything and allowing them to exercise that superiority by doing all my chores, tyvm, wanna play some mario?? 'Male feminist' has been a red flag for a while now, and that's not even nearly the worst reason why.
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Jan 6, 2020 07:31
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Marzzle posted:polyamory desperately yearns for acknowledgement on par with actual LGBT identities so her friend is prob just gonna go around describing her as a bigot. no way to deal with poly folks unless you too believe polyamory is the big IQ trick to ethically loving multiple partners that society just doesn't want you to know Friend isn't even getting to gently caress around herself, she's just supporting a guy who does and getting to feel she's righteous and persecuted and noble because it's her orientation maaan she's not afraid of sharing love like those jealous monogamists.
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Jan 6, 2020 08:08
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AITA for telling a drunk English girl "I'm Scottish first and don't like being called British"? I was speaking to an English girl at a bar, I asked how her night was going and she was saying how it was weird here. She explained that it is very different in England like how people here striking up conversations while waiting for public transport, strangers getting you drinks and including you in jokes in the bar and how many people are very upfront here. She was surprised because she was supposedly told nothing but negative stuff about Scotland. I laughed and just said that is what it's like here and life is full of surprises. The girl then told me that she was scared to come to Scotland because we supposedly attack English people. Or so she says. I coughed up my drink a bit because I started laughing again. I explained that it was nonsense because I have never met or heard of anyone beating someone for being English, if it has happened those people are just assholes. Few and far between and don't speak for the majority. Even pointing out by her logic, I should feel the same way about England because I've heard they hate the Scottish (also personal interactions I've had, but that doesn't cloud my judgement). She then laughed saying how England is far better and how she hated this country. She kept listing all the reasons she thought England was better and how Scotland was nothing without them. At this point I began regretting the conversation because she went from a normal chat to a drunken rant (clearly couldn't handle her drink). Then she hit out with "I'm proud to be British! I'm proud to be English! Aren't you proud?". I picked up my drink and said "No, I'm Scottish first and don't like referring to myself as British but you have a good night" because a lot of what she was actually pretty offensive and I wanted to leave the conversation. I got up and went back to my friends and she came over calling me a scumbag and a bitch for dismissing that I'm British. I just prefer to be called Scottish, is that really that bad? Edit: I was in my regular pub and talk to everyone, I saw her sitting alone so I went up to see how she was doing. Edit 2: It was very clear that she had no clue about Scotland and pretty much went off stereotypes.
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Jan 6, 2020 08:14
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Oh Scotland, you're far too innocent for this world.
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Jan 6, 2020 08:17
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chemtrail huffer posted:My [21F] boyfriend's [23M] relationship with his teddybear is making me uncomfortable Jian Ghomeshi had the same teddy-bear thing going on when he beat the poo poo out of his girlfriends... So yeah, RUN.
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Jan 6, 2020 08:57
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Alrighty, I'm only reposting the teddy story, because she added pics now. UPDATE on the teddy bear story EDIT : Everyone is saying the post is deleted and I have no idea why, it wasn't deleted before. The original post is available in the comments it's quite easy to find. Thank you to you all for your support, I realised there was a confusion :no I'm not in his flat! I'm home and safe, tonight ill sleep at a friend so she and I can talk about it and I'm never going back with him, he sent me terrible messages all night which convinced me to never get back with him. Thank you again for helping me and have a nice day x (pictures of Teddy : (yes Teddy is an hippo, please do not share those pictures to anyone else for my own safety) https://image.noelshack.com/fichiers/2020/02/1/1578302323-img-20200105-221821.jpg https://image.noelshack.com/fichiers/2020/02/1/1578302320-received-2534676143521378.jpeg https://image.noelshack.com/fichiers/2020/02/1/1578302319-img-20200105-221613.jpg) aPrevious post : https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ejyfv1/my_21f_boyfriends_23m_relationship_with_his/ First of all I'd like to say thank you to you all, I did not expect to get that many comments. I'm safe for those who were worried. You all really scared me though. I had many questions that were asked so I'm quickly going to reply to the ones I saw the most often : Why are you with this guy ? Are you insecure ? Why are you standards so low ? (etc..) I obviously didn't write down his nicest description. Apart from this weird teddy bear fetish, he was a completly normal guy, with friends, going to parties, studying and so on... He is quite the "popular guy" in fact even though I don't care about this kind of thing. He took me on dates and made me feel special. I really thought he was a keeper. At the beginning him being a little childish didn't bother me. I myself have stuffed pets and even though they're in the cupboard I used to love them as a kid. That's when he started sexualising his bear and involving me in it that I freaked out. The problem is, it's so hard to tell when he's joking or not. He constantly makes jokes. That's why I never could tell whether I was overreacting or not (is he just joking or does he mean what he says ?). However the one thing I really didn't see coming and you guys helped me realise it, is his lack of respect towards me and my boundaries. Sometimes it's easier to see from an extern point of view. This whole time I was too focused wondering whether it was normal or not for me to feel uncomfortable, and I didn't realise that not once did he help me feel more comfortable despite me telling him how I felt. Thank you a lot because that's the one thing you all really helped me for, I would have probably taken more time to realise it on my own even though it now looks obvious. About the guy who said he knew him (abortionlasagna) : (Un)fortunately it wasn't him. Thank you so much for help though. Run away, he's going to kill you, he's a psychopath etc.. Although his behaviour is extremly weird I don't see him hurting anyone. But obviously it's easier for me to tell since you all had to base your opinion on what I said. He doesn't match the pyschopath personnality at all. I'm not allowed to visit him because he lives in a private home (a person hosts him in one of their bedroom) and this person doesn't allow any visit. It is weirdly strict yes, but it's believable and I've seen his sister once who confirmed that she couldn't visit him herself. One thing is sure though, although he may not hurt anyone, he seems to have serious problems and I'm not sure I can handle it. It's fake, it looks like the movie TED : I know it all looks surreal but it is true. I have multiple pictures of Teddy if some of you are interested. I know a lot about Teddy's past because my bf won't shut up about him that's why I knew I know the movie TED but I have never seen it, and my bf actually suggested that we could watch it like a month ago. Burn Teddy, make him disappear etc... Haha thank you I did think about it a lot. I often hide him when he brings him in my flat so I know exactly where he is and so my bf doesn't think about him (he always ends up looking for him though... but still it gives me a break) What did you do in the end ? I was meant to see him today so I picked him up and we drove to my flat. Of course Teddy was there and when he came in the car, my bf had him give me kisses and stuff. I said stop please in a cold way and he stopped. I said we needed to talk and he listened because I started crying. I thought it would be hard for me to start talking but since I was so stressed with all your comments I just broke down and cried. I told him how I needed him to stop with Teddy, that he needed to stop being so close and dependant on him, that Teddy shouldn't come to my flat anymore... At first he was silent but then he said he didn't understand why I was so uncomfortable with it, that he was purely joking, that he knew Teddy wasn't real and that it was hurting him to see that I thought he had a problem. I was extremely disappointed of his reaction and just told him I needed a break. I drove him back to his flat and that's where I am now.
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Jan 6, 2020 10:52
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Power Khan posted:please do not share those pictures to anyone else for my own safety i know it seems trivial, but you should honor this request
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Jan 6, 2020 10:54
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LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:i know it seems trivial, but you should honor this request yes please take those pictures down. don't be a prick.
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Jan 6, 2020 10:58
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Please only share these pics with the site that gets 430 million users a month, and not the dead gay forum with a couple dozen middle aged dudes. Respect the privacy.
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Jan 6, 2020 11:24
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Shasta Orange Soda posted:Please only share these pics with the site that gets 430 million users a month, and not the dead gay forum with a couple dozen middle aged dudes. Respect the privacy. although the OP is very careless, i think it is best to respect her (poorly considered, idiot) wishes if she feels she could be put at risk. also, i'm having a hard time imagining there's someone ITT who was on the boyfriend's side until seeing the photos and deciding the stuffed animal is unfuckable.
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Jan 6, 2020 11:33
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