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aphid_licker posted:Okay it seems p obvious how this ends, good ol Flashy found grasping the flag by the relieving British, with everyone else dead. Ain't that a bummer. And he'll be a hero for it.
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# ? Jan 25, 2020 21:24 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:48 |
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aphid_licker posted:Okay it seems p obvious how this ends, good ol Flashy found grasping the flag by the relieving British, with everyone else dead. Ain't that a bummer. It's like you're psychic.
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# ? Jan 25, 2020 22:26 |
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aphid_licker posted:Okay it seems p obvious how this ends, good ol Flashy found grasping the flag by the relieving British, with everyone else dead. Ain't that a bummer. Spoiler alert plz
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# ? Jan 25, 2020 22:33 |
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Yeah, that wasn't a particularly hard guess, was it? Flashman slowly wakes up in a warm bed in a pleasant sunny room, with his leg and head bandaged. A doctor comes in to check on him, telling him that his leg is broken but he should recover in a few months, and that he was rescued when General Sale was able to relieve the fort after all. quote:I had got clear away, from pursuing Afghans and relentless enemies and beastly-minded women and idiot commanders - I was snug in bed, and anyone who expected any more from Flashy - well, let him wish he might get it! Then Flashman remembers Hudson, and wonders if he survived. quote:My last recollection was of seeing him hit and probably killed. But was he dead? He had better be, for my sake - for the memory of our latter relations was all too vivid in my mind, and it suddenly rushed in on me that if Hudson was alive, and talked, I was done for. He could swear to my cowardice, if he wanted to - would he dare? Would he be believed? He could prove nothing, but if he was known as a steady man - and I was sure he would be - he might well be listened to. It would mean my ruin, my disgrace - and while I hadn’t cared a button for these things when I believed death was closing in on me and everyone else in that fort, well, I cared most damnably for them now that I was safe again. While Flashman is wishing Hudson dead, General Sale enters the room with several attendants. quote:...Sale strode forward and plumped down into a chair beside the bed, leaning forward to take my hand in his own. He held it gently in his big paw and gazed at me like a cow in milk. After praising Flashman's courage and heroism some more, Sale leaves him to recover. quote:And I was left not only relieved but amazed by what Sale had said - oh, the everyday compliments of people like Elphy Bey are one thing, but this was Sale, after all, the renowned Fighting Bob, whose courage was a byword. And he had said my deliverance was “the finest thing”, and that I had done my duty as few could have done it - why, he had talked as though I was a hero, to be reverenced with that astonishing pussy-footing worship which, for some reason, my century extended to its idols. They treated us (I can say “us”) as though we were too delicate to handle normally, like old Chinese pots. Over the next few days, Flashman learns that the attack on Jallalabad has stalled, reinforcements are on the way, and Sale will be making a counterattack to break the siege any day now. Sale visits again to read him a letter he's sending to Lord Ellenborough, the new Governor-General in Delhi, recounting his version of how the battle of Piper's Fort really went: quote:“Lieutenant Flashman, as I learn from one of the sepoys, was in a case more suited to a hospital than to a battlefield, for he had evidently been prisoner of the Afghans, who had flogged him most shockingly, so that he was unable to stand, and must lie in the fort tower. His companion, Sergeant Hudson, assisted most gallantly in the defence, until Lieutenant Flashman, despite his wounds, returned to the action. And Flashman, being Flashman, knows exactly how to play this. quote:It was up to me, so I looked Sale in the eye, man to man.
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# ? Jan 26, 2020 06:51 |
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The parts I find funniest in the Flashman books are those moments, when his superiors are grossly misinterpreting his outward actions in the aftermath, and what they say is entirely at odds with his own internal monologue.
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# ? Jan 26, 2020 20:50 |
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If you're not hooked and excited for more Flashman after this moment then the series clearly isn't for you. It's delicious.
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# ? Jan 27, 2020 00:12 |
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Flashman then tells his story about how he got separated from Elphinstone's column to Sale and his attendants, carefully editing out the parts about him deserting and about Narreeman, and taking credit for the escape from the rock fort cellar, because why not? It isn't long before every officer in Jallalabad is turning up to shake Flashman's hand and tell him how amazing he is. Meanwhile, on April 7, Sale made his counterattack and drove Akbar away from Jallalabad. Nine days later, General Pollock turned up with reinforcements, and the British began making plans to sweep the passes and retake Kabul. quote:“You can stay here and take your well-earned repose while your leg mends,” says Fighting Bob, at which I decided a scowl and a mutter might be appropriate. Despite his bluster, Flashy is only too happy to take an easy trip back to Delhi, where he's once again welcomed as a hero by a public desperate to salvage anything from the horror of the retreat. quote:I got my first taste of this when I left Jallalabad in a palankeen, to go down the Khyber with a convoy, and the whole garrison turned out to hurrah me off. Then at Peshawar there was old Avitabile, the Italian rascal, who welcomed me with a guard of honour, kissed me on both cheeks, and made me and himself riotously drunk in celebration of my return. That night was memorable for one thing - I had my first woman for months, for Avitabile had in a couple of lively Afghan wenches, and we made splendid beasts of ourselves. It isn’t easy, I may say, handling a woman when your leg is broken, but where there’s a will there’s a way, and in spite of the fact that Avitabile was almost sick laughing at the spectacle of me getting my wench buckled to, I managed most satisfactorily. At Delhi it's more of the same, with Lord Ellenborough throwing a dinner party in Flashman's honor and praising him to the skies as a conquering hero, while Flashman works at being modestly noble about the whole thing. And then Ellenborough privately tells him that he intends to send Flashy back to England as a reward and to publicize his (and Sale's) victories in the war. Flashman is thrilled to accept. Before Flashy departs the subcontinent, here's a quick look at what happened in Afghanistan after he left: Generals Sale, Pollock, and Nott collaborated in a punitive expedition against the Afghans over the course of August through November 1842, breaking through Akbar Khan's army and destroying and looting part of Kabul before retreating back to India. This marked the end of the British presence in Afghanistan … at least, until 1878. Elphinstone's poor health finally caught up with him. He died of dysentery while one of Akbar's captives, and is buried in an unmarked grave somewhere in Afghanistan, which seems entirely appropriate. Most of Akbar's other hostages, about 115-120 people, either ransomed themselves or were released as the British army neared Kabul. As mentioned earlier in this thread, about 2,000 native troops had also returned to Kabul after deserting Elphinstone's column, and some of them were able to return with Pollock's army, although others were left to their fate when the British retreated again. Shelton, fairly or not, got tarred with much of the blame for the disaster of the retreat. He was court-martialed, and though most of the charges against him were dismissed, he was widely despised and vilified until his accidental death in 1845. By all accounts, Shelton was an abrasive rear end in a top hat and a terrible commander who made enemies of everyone around him – even his fellow hostages hated him. This made him a natural scapegoat, but Flashman (and Fraser) seems to have some sympathy with him for being put in an impossible position by Elphinstone's incompetence. Lady Sale became a widow in 1845 after Fighting Bob died in battle against the Sikhs. She spent most of the rest of her life in India, but died in Cape Town in 1853. Mackenzie went on to have a long military and political career in Afghanistan and India, retiring as a lieutenant-general and passing away in 1881. Shah Sujah, the British puppet king of Afghanistan, was assassinated not long after Elphinstone's retreat. After Pollock and Sale withdrew, Dost Mohammed returned to Afghanistan and ruled until his own death in 1863. Akbar Khan died suddenly in 1845 – possibly poisoned by his father when he got too ambitious. One of modern Kabul's poshest neighborhoods is named after him; many foreign embassies, including the U.S. and British, are located there. Selachian fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Jan 27, 2020 |
# ? Jan 27, 2020 00:26 |
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How are u posted:If you're not hooked and excited for more Flashman after this moment then the series clearly isn't for you. It's delicious. Ya I've been wondering about that, I'm legit bummed about Hudson bc I'm such a fuckin sucker for how he was written to be this sort of young adult literature Good Man.
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# ? Jan 27, 2020 00:36 |
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aphid_licker posted:Ya I've been wondering about that, I'm legit bummed about Hudson bc I'm such a fuckin sucker for how he was written to be this sort of young adult literature Good Man. Oh don't worry, there's lots more like him in the series. Flashman loves a good man because they're so much easier to manipulate than a scoundrel.
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# ? Jan 27, 2020 23:30 |
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A four-month sea voyage only makes Flashy more excited to be reunited with Elspeth:quote:During the voyage my broken leg recovered almost entirely, but there was not much activity on shipboard anyway, and no women, and, boozing with the boys apart, I had a good deal of time to myself. This, and the absence of females, naturally turned me to thoughts of Elspeth; it was strange and delightful to think of going home to a wife, and I got that queasy feeling deep in my bowels whenever I found myself dreaming about her. It wasn’t all lust, either, not more than about nine-tenths -after all, she wasn’t going to be the only woman in England - but when I conjured up a picture of that lovely, placid face and blonde hair I got a tightness in my throat and a trembling in my hands that was quite apart from what the clergy call carnal appetites. It was the feeling I had experienced that first night I rattled her beside the Clyde -a kind of hunger for her presence and the sound of her voice and the dreamy stupidity of her blue eyes. I wondered if I was falling in love with her, and decided that I was, and that I didn’t care, anyway - which is a sure sign. Arriving at his father's house, Flashman is surprised to find Judy still living there, but is quickly distracted by Elspeth and they spend an afternoon, ahem, getting reacquainted. Judy also joins the family for dinner, and Flashman starts getting a feeling that something's a bit odd going on. Later that night, he realizes something else is different about Elspeth, but he can't put his finger on what changed. The next day, Flashy braces his father and tells him that Judy has to leave – he's going to get a lot of attention with his Afghan exploits, and it won't look good to have his father's mistress hanging around the house. He suggests sending her to the family's country house in Leicestershire, or getting her a place of her own. His father just shrugs and says that Elspeth likes Judy. Flashy doesn't see how that matters, so his father explains: quote:”We’re in Queer Street, Harry. I hardly know how, myself, but there it is. I suppose I’ve been running pretty fast, all my life, and not taking much account of how the money went - what are lawyers for, eh? I took some bad tumbles on the turf, never heeded the expenses of this place, or Leicestershire, didn’t stint any way at all - but it was the damned railway shares that really did the trick. Oh, there are fortunes being made out of ‘em - the right ones. I picked the wrong ones. A year ago I was a ruined man, up to my neck with the Jews, ready to be sold up. I didn’t write to you about it - what was the point? This house ain’t mine, nor our place in Leicestershire; it’s hers - or it will be, when old Morrison goes. God rot and drat him, it can’t be too soon.” After a moment's astonishment, Flashman starts making calculations. quote:While he splashed more brandy into his glass, I asked: “How much does he let her have?” Flashy writes that he really doesn't care: when Morrison dies, he'll probably inherit Elspeth's share of the money anyway. And in the meantime, it's not like Elspeth is inclined to abuse her control of the family purse strings. quote:“What I have is yours, my love,” says she, with that melting look. “You know you have only to ask me for anything - anything at all.” And Elspeth won't go against her father, so that's that: Flashy has to ask her when he needs spending money.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 00:44 |
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I dont even know how I got linked to this thread but it loving rules, Flashman is like the Evil Mr. Bean
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 21:36 |
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Nooner posted:I dont even know how I got linked to this thread but it loving rules, Flashman is like the Evil Mr. Bean The mind boggles at a potential Flashman/Blackadder crossover. Flashman and Elspeth dive back into London society, with everyone hailing Flashman's alleged triumph, and much being made of him in the media: quote:The new comic paper Punch had a cartoon in its series of “Pencillings” which showed a heroic figure, something like me, wielding an enormous scimitar like a pantomime bandit, with hordes of blackamoors (they looked no more like Afghans than Eskimos) trying to wrest the Union Jack from me in vain. Underneath there was the caption: “A Flash(ing) Blade”, which give you some idea of the standard of humour in that journal. Punch had just begun publication in 1841. At parties, Elspeth is always surrounded by young soldiers eager to impress her, and while Flashy says he isn't jealous and even enjoys having attention paid to his wife, he's also a bit wary: quote:But I just kept an eye open, all the same, and cold-shouldered one or two when they came too close - there was one in particular, a young Life Guards captain called Watney, who was often at the house, and was her riding partner twice in the week; he was a tall, curly-lipped exquisite with a lazy eye, who made himself very easy at home until I gave him the about-turn. (Calling Watney an “exquisite” isn't a compliment: in this usage, it means someone who's overly pretty and prissy, and when applied to a man has connotations of effeminacy and homosexuality – as “mincing pimp” should make clear.) One day, Flashman heads out to the Horse Guards club to meet his Uncle Bindley, and gets introduced to the elderly Duke of Wellington. The Duke quizzes Flashy closely about the retreat, but seems impressed and comments to Bindley that they need to find a new regiment for him to serve in – Flashman may be the talk of the town now, but he's still not posh enough for Lord Cardigan and the 11th Hussars. The Duke also says that he'll be taking Flashman to meet the Queen that afternoon. Flashy rushes home to find Elspeth and tell her they're going to see the Queen, but she's not home. quote:...So I went downstairs and found Judy playing with a kitten in the morning room. Flashman is overcome with furious suspicion and jealousy, but reminds himself that Elspeth might really have gone riding with Watney, and in fact she hadn't even remembered who Watney was when he asked. quote:And she was the most scatter-brained thing in petticoats; besides, she wasn’t of the mettle that trollops are made of. Too meek and gentle and submissive by half - she wouldn’t have dared. The mere thought of what I’d do would have terrified . . . what would I do? Disown her? Divorce her? Throw her out? By God, I couldn’t! I didn’t have the means; my father was right! Madonna-whore dichotomy on full display. Selachian fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Jan 30, 2020 |
# ? Jan 30, 2020 00:23 |
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How modern is the divorce law in 1840s UK? Can Elspeth kick Flashy to the curb and take her dad's money to captain horseface? Or is it mostly his pride that's at stake?
aphid_licker fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Jan 30, 2020 |
# ? Jan 30, 2020 17:07 |
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aphid_licker posted:How modern is the divorce law in 1840s UK? Can Elspeth kick Flashy to the curb and take her dad's money to captain horseface? Or is it mostly his pride that's at stake? There's no formal divorce law. If you want to get divorced, you have to either convince the church to annul your marriage or receive an annulment via a special Act of Parliament. Practically speaking, no one but a rich, well-connected man is going to get either of those. Divorce was finally codified in 1857; under that law, a woman could get a divorce if she could prove unfaithfulness and cruelty, rape, or other such factors -- just being unfaithful wasn't enough by itself. So yes, it's mostly a question of Flashy's pride. Selachian fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Jan 30, 2020 |
# ? Jan 30, 2020 17:28 |
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Flashy finally concludes that Judy is just trying to stir up trouble, and anyway his appointment at the Palace is drawing near. Without Elspeth, Flashy returns to the club and drives to the Palace with the Duke, where they're shown into the Queen's presence by various flunkies.quote:“His Grace the Duke of Wellington. Mr Flashman.” It was a large, magnificently furnished drawing-room, with a carpet stretching away between mirrored walls and a huge chandelier overhead. There were a few people at the other end, two men standing near the fireplace, a girl sitting on a couch with an older woman standing behind, and I think another man and a couple of women near by. We walked forward towards them, the Duke a little in advance, and he stopped short of the couch and bowed. The other man, it turns out, is the writer-politician Thomas Babington Macaulay, who served in the Indian government in the 1830s and, presumably, knows exactly what Flashman said, but he keeps his mouth shut. After some stiff conversation, the Queen gives Flashman a medal, and then he and Wellington are dismissed and ride out of the Palace to a cheering crowd. quote:Strange, but as the coach won clear and we rattled off down the Mall with the cheers dying behind us, I could hear Arnold’s voice saying, “There is good in you, Flashman,” and I could imagine how he would have supposed himself vindicated at this moment, and preach on “Courage” in chapel, and pretend to rejoice in the redeemed prodigal - but all the time he would know in his hypocrite heart that I was a rotter still. But neither he nor anyone else would have dared to say so. This myth called bravery, which is half-panic, half-lunacy (in my case, all panic), pays for all; in England you can’t be a hero and bad. There’s practically a law against it.
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# ? Jan 31, 2020 05:48 |
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aphid_licker posted:Ya I've been wondering about that, I'm legit bummed about Hudson bc I'm such a fuckin sucker for how he was written to be this sort of young adult literature Good Man. There are many more wonderful characters than old Hudson to act as Flashy's foil, don't worry. This first book is really solid, but some of the later ones are really phenomenal.
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# ? Jan 31, 2020 06:03 |
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How are u posted:There are many more wonderful characters than old Hudson to act as Flashy's foil, don't worry. This first book is really solid, but some of the later ones are really phenomenal. Yeah but presumably he bests them all
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# ? Jan 31, 2020 09:24 |
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Very interesting....I wonder if the actual distinguished people will have anything to do with Flashman or if it will simply turn out there's a lot more pricks like him in the army. Very interesting.
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# ? Jan 31, 2020 17:50 |
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Royal Flash should be interesting, seeing as you're basically doing a Let's Read of two books at once. It's a direct send-up of The Prisoner of Zenda.
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# ? Jan 31, 2020 18:11 |
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Also, thank you so much Selachian for picking this up and finishing the book. I hope you're enjoying the work, it's really fun to revisit these books that I read in college and enjoyed so much.
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# ? Jan 31, 2020 19:47 |
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Back at home, Flashman finds Elspeth has returned and is getting dressed for tea, so he goes up to see her: quote:“Harry!” she cries out, “where have you been? Have you forgot we are to take tea with Lady Chalmers at four-thirty?” Elspeth is, of course, deliriously excited, and they wind up in bed while she's demanding Flashy tell her every single detail of his visit to the Palace again and again. Eventually, though, things calm down and Flashy remembers what Judy told him. quote:“Aye,” says I, “and where were you, eh? Sparking in the Row all afternoon with one of your admirers.” Looks like Elspeth is not quite as dumb and innocent as Flashy thought, huh? He sits there remembering how he felt something was wrong when he arrived home from Afghanistan, and how Elspeth was not quite as devoted and passionate as she was before he left the country... quote:Maybe I was wrong - oh, God, I hoped so. It wasn’t just that strange yearning that I had about Elspeth, it was my --well, my honour, if you like. Oh, I didn’t give a drat about what the world calls honour, but the thought of another man, or men, frollicking in the hay with my wife, who should have been unable to imagine a more masterful or heroic lover than the great Flashman - the hero whose name was on everyone’s lips, God help us - the thought of that! . . . Elspeth, meanwhile, is getting dressed, chattering away innocently, as Flashman is chewing himself up inside with wounded pride and the knowledge that, if she is cheating on him, he can't actually do anything about it. quote:“Well, how do I look?” says she, coming to stand in front of me in her gown and bonnet. “Why, Harry, you have gone quite pale! I know, it is the excitement of this day! My poor dear!” And she tilted up my head and kissed me. No, I couldn’t believe it, looking into those baby-blue eyes. Aye, and what about those baby-black boots?
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 20:28 |
It’s the perfect ending.
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 23:31 |
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Royal Flash The success of Flashman enabled Fraser to quit working as a journalist and become a full-time novelist. In 1970, he published two books -- The General Danced at Dawn, a slightly fictionalized collection of stories based on his war experiences, and Royal Flash. First, though, let's talk about The Prisoner of Zenda. Originally published in 1893 by Anthony Hope Hawkins (writing as Anthony Hope), Zenda and its sequel. Rupert of Hentzau, are fun little books (and available on Project Gutenberg, if you haven't read them) that have had an influence outstripping their ambition. In Zenda, heroic Englishman Rudolf Rassendyll discovers that he's a dead ringer for the king of the obscure country of Ruritania, who has disappeared before his coronation. The king's advisors beg Rudolf to stand in for him. While pretending to be the king, Rudolf battles the evil Black Michael and his duelist sidekick, Rupert of Hentzau, as he tries to rescue the real king – and falls in love with his royal double's fiancee in the process. Zenda is the prototype for an entire subgenre of “Ruritanian romances,” adventure stories set in tiny, vaguely Germanic Central or Eastern European states and usually featuring a British or American hero who stumbles onto sinister schemes. Ruritanian romances tend to focus on monarchy and court intrigue; common plots include exposing a pretender, stopping a coup, and/or restoring a true king to the throne. As such, they represent a nostalgic look back at a simpler, more royalist Europe, especially in the face of numerous revolutions against monarchy and nobility in the latter half of the 19th century. The Prisoner of Zenda has also been turned into a movie multiple times. The best-loved version was in 1937, featuring Ronald Colman and Douglas Fairbanks Jr., when little George MacDonald Fraser was at the impressionable age of twelve. If you've read The Pyrates, you know that Fraser loved Golden Age of Hollywood swashbuckling movies, so it's not surprising he decided to put Flashy in a pastiche of Zenda. (In fact, Royal Flash is dedicated to Colman and Fairbanks, as well as Erroll Flynn, Basil Rathbone, Louis Hayward, Tyrone Power, and “the rest of them.”) Royal Flash is also, so far, the only Flashman book to make it to the screen, in 1975 with a script by Fraser himself and Malcolm McDowell playing Flashman. I have, alas, not been able to see it. quote:If I had been the hero everyone thought I was, or even a half-decent soldier, Lee would have won the battle of Gettysburg and probably captured Washington. That is another story, which I shall set down in its proper place if brandy and old age don't carry me off first, but I mention the fact here because it shows how great events are decided by trifles. This is the first mention of Flashman's adventures in the Civil War, which has never been followed up on – Fraser wasn't particularly interested in writing about it, and apparently didn't have much patience with American readers who thought their Civil War would be more interesting than Afghanistan or the Crimea or other aspects of British history. Royal Flash picks up almost immediately after Flashman, in the late summer/fall of 1842 with Flashy still riding high on his Afghan fame, having been promoted to captain. Flashy and Elspeth have settled into what we might call an open relationship, turning a blind eye to each other's infidelities while still loving each other in their fashion. And with his wife's money and his fame, Flashman is cutting a swath through London's lower society. quote:But the real life was to be had outside; respectable society apart, I was in with the fast set, idling, gaming, drinking, and raking about the town. It was the end of the great days of the bucks and blades; we had a queen on the throne, and her cold white hand and her poker-backed husband's were already setting their grip on the nation's life, smothering the old wild ways in their come-to-Jesus hypocrisy. We were entering into what is now called the Victorian Age, when respectability was the thing; breeches were out and trousers came in; bosoms were being covered and eyes modestly lowered; politics was becoming sober, trade and industry were becoming fashionable, the odour of sanctity was replacing the happy reek of brandy, the age of the Corinthian, the plunger, and the dandy was giving way to that of the prig, the preacher, and the bore.
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# ? Feb 4, 2020 07:36 |
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There are a couple of Flashman books set in the States iirc. One where due to Flash's ability? to tan pretty dark, he ends up at the pointy end of the slave trade a couple of times.
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# ? Feb 4, 2020 07:56 |
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Three where he ends up in the USA, iirc. Unsurprisingly, this particular case: Angrymog posted:One where due to Flash's ability? to tan pretty dark, he ends up at the pointy end of the slave trade a couple of times. Is because he got caught banging the wife of a plantation owner
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# ? Feb 4, 2020 14:34 |
Somehow, Flashy being a Confederate does not surprise me very much.
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# ? Feb 4, 2020 16:20 |
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Flash fought in both uniforms over the course of the war. Also was caught up in Booth's flight from DC. (There's lots of stuff that only shows up in prefaces and asides. He was transported to Australia twice...)
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# ? Feb 4, 2020 16:27 |
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Thranguy posted:Flash fought in both uniforms over the course of the war. Also was caught up in Booth's flight from DC. (There's lots of stuff that only shows up in prefaces and asides. He was transported to Australia twice...) He also fights -- unwillingly -- alongside John Brown in his raid on Harper's Ferry in Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, but we won't be getting to that one for quite a while.
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# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:06 |
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Selachian posted:Royal Flash is also, so far, the only Flashman book to make it to the screen, in 1975 with a script by Fraser himself and Malcolm McDowell playing Flashman. I have, alas, not been able to see it. It showed up on Talking Pictures - a UK retro movie channel - recently. It wasn't bad, but McDowell just doesn't look right for Flashman. He always has a sort of ratty and conniving air, when Flashy should have much more of the Boys Own noble handsome hero air (except when grovelling for his life or around anyone he doesn't think is important).
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# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:49 |
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On the night the book starts, Flashman is visiting a new gambling club with his old school friend Speedicut (who's mentioned in Tom Brown's Schooldays and the start of Flashman). The club is dull, the prices are high, and the games are fixed, so it isn't long before Speedicut suggests another entertainment: quote:...So we picked up two of the Cyprians in the gaming-room and took them upstairs to play loo for each others' clothes. I had my eye on the smaller of the two, a pert little redhaired piece with dimples; thinks I, if I can't get this one stripped for action in a dozen hands then I've lost my talent for palming and dealing from the bottom. But whether I'd taken too much drink—for we had punished a fair amount of arrack, dear as it was—or the tarts were cheating too, the upshot was that I was down to my shirt-tail before my little minx had removed more than her shoes and gloves. Yes, Flashman is the sort of guy who cheats at strip games. (Loo is a rather overcomplicated trick-taking card game, and has nothing to do with the use of "loo" to mean a bathroom, which hasn't entered the language yet.) Flashy and Speedicut grab up their clothes and run out into the corridor, abandoning the women. The club is being raided by the police, and the ground floor is already full of cops smashing doors and grabbing prisoners. So instead they run upstairs: quote:They were hammering on the doors below, and presently someone came scampering up. He was a fair, chinless youth in a pink coat. Once the fuss starts dying down, Flashy and Speedicut climb out a window and over the roofs, and then circle around to watch the prisoners being dragged out of the gambling hell. This proves to be a mistake when one of the prisoners – the young man in the pink coat – spots them in the crowd and immediately rats them out to the cops. They run, but Flashman's leg, broken in Afghanistan, starts hurting again. quote:"Hallo, Flash," says he, "are you done for?" Selachian fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Feb 5, 2020 |
# ? Feb 5, 2020 00:10 |
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Holy lols
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# ? Feb 5, 2020 11:52 |
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Flash is, unfortunately, right. Anyone helping him does deserve to get arrested.
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# ? Feb 5, 2020 18:04 |
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Fuckin' Flashy posted:"We'll hold 'em off," says I. "Get out of it, you fool." Out loud "son of a bitch" at this Goddamn but Flash is a turd of a man
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# ? Feb 5, 2020 18:08 |
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Angrymog posted:There are a couple of Flashman books set in the States iirc. One where due to Flash's ability? to tan pretty dark, he ends up at the pointy end of the slave trade a couple of times. Only after a) being supercargo on a slave ship (and raping one of the slaves) and then b) a slave driver (and raping more slaves). He could probably have done with more of the pointy end. That said, given that a slaves status followed that of their mother, by the 1850s there were slaves who basically looked white anyway; abolitionist propaganda of the time made use of that.
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# ? Feb 5, 2020 20:53 |
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feedmegin posted:Only after a) being supercargo on a slave ship (and raping one of the slaves) and then b) a slave driver (and raping more slaves). He could probably have done with more of the pointy end. I never said he didn't deserve it, nor IIRC does he learn anything from the experience.
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# ? Feb 5, 2020 20:59 |
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Flashman hears Speedicut starting to brawl with the cops as he lights out again. He spots a couple of carriages in front of a house and decides to hide in one until the rest of the cops pass. But while he's waiting, the party in the house breaks up and guests start leaving: quote:I held my breath, my heart pounding, and then the carriage door opened, light came in, and I found myself staring into the surprised face of one of the loveliest girls I have ever seen in my life. Before Flashman can answer, the woman is joined by a man with a foreign accent, who angrily orders Flashman to get out. quote:I conceived an instant dislike for him. It was not only his manner and his words, but the look of him. He was big, as big as I was, slim-hipped and broad-shouldered, but he was also damned handsome. He had bright grey eyes and one of those clean-cut faces beneath fair hair that make you think of moral Norse gods, too splendid altogether to be in the company of the beauty beside him. Still being honest, Flashman admits he's dodging a police raid. The woman, Rosanna, finds the whole thing funny, but the man, Otto, is furious. A police sergeant finally shows up, and Otto immediately orders him to arrest Flashman, but Rosanna contradicts him, saying Flashy is with them. When the cop hesitates, Otto immediately starts yelling at him, the coachman, another cop who arrives, and everyone else in the general area. In the midst of the confusion, the sergeant finally recognizes who he's dealing with: quote:"Wait a minnit. I know you, don't I? You're Cap'n Flashman, bigod!" And the cops depart, leaving Otto in frustrated rage and Rosanna still amused. quote:"Don't be so pompous, Otto," says she. "It's just a joke; come and—"
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# ? Feb 6, 2020 00:14 |
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'Ougoumont is of course https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hougoumont - this chap was at the Battle of Waterloo.
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# ? Feb 6, 2020 13:09 |
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Gotta have a good nemesis
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# ? Feb 6, 2020 17:42 |
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Flashman casually making an enemy of Otto Von Bismarck is one of my favorite bits of the series.
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# ? Feb 6, 2020 20:47 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:48 |
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Flashman and Rosanna return to her house in Chelsea and, since this is Flashman, the inevitable happens. Rosanna turns out to be almost too enthusiastic even for Flashy: quote:We were in bed by then, and I had no clothing to protect me from her biting and raking nails; I protested, but it was like talking to a mad woman. She even began to leather me with something hard and heavy—a hair-brush, I believe—and by the time she had stopped writhing and moaning I felt as though I had been coupling with a roll of barbed wire. I was bruised, scratched, bitten, and stabbed from neck to backside. In between the violence, Flashman finds that her full name is Marie Elizabeth Rosanna James, and she's a military wife recently returned from India. She's extremely bored in London and had gotten stuck with escorting Otto, a German who was visiting her husband's relatives. She comments that Flashman has made an enemy, and when Flashman says he isn't worried about Otto: quote:"Well, you should," says she, teasing. "For he's going to be a great man some day—he told me so. 'I have a destiny', he said. 'What's that?' I asked him, 'To rule', says he. So I told him I had ambitions, too—to live as I please, love as I please, and never grow old. He didn't think much of that, I fancy; he told me I was frivolous, and would be disappointed. Only the strong, he said, could afford ambitions. So I told him I had a much better motto than that." Flashman starts an affair with Rosanna, but it burns out quickly: she's violently exhausting in bed, and domineering out of it, and altogether just too much for Flashy to deal with. It only takes a week before things go bad. quote:"In heaven's name!" says I. "Get off. I'm tired." A month after his violent parting from Rosanna, Flashy is visiting a friend's country house to watch a boxing match and do some hunting, and it turns out one of the other guests is Otto. His host introduces him. quote:"Baron," says he – the brute has a title, thinks I— "permit me to present Captain Flashman. Flash, this is Baron Otto von … er, dammit… von Schornhausen, ain't it? Can't get my confounded tongue round it." At the age of 27, Otto von Bismarck is still only a student, starting to train as a lawyer. It won't be long, though, before he plunges into the chaos of German politics in the late 19th century and emerges as one of the era's most influential statesmen.
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# ? Feb 7, 2020 00:13 |