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Moonshine Rhyme
Mar 26, 2010

Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate
Costco canned chicken in pasta is so easy, it's great for lazy meals

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MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese
If you're at the point you're eating canned chicken just start eating fake meat and save chickens and/or the planet

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese
Also some dude just ripped a set of bicep curls and finished it off with an emphatic WHOOOO which I respect

The Ferret King
Nov 23, 2003

cluck cluck
Clearly someone never grew up on fried spam sandwiches.

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

So many people today not wiping down their equipment. I'm 100% getting coronavirus.

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese
Uh, you would be correct

why

bomb
Nov 3, 2005


MikeCrotch posted:

If you're at the point you're eating canned chicken just start eating fake meat and save chickens and/or the planet

Man all that stuff in fake meat though... This stuff is pretty good for chicken salad sandwiches.

Greg Legg
Oct 6, 2004
You can buy a big bag of vital wheat gluten and make your own fake meat. It's pretty easy and you can make it taste good.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

The Ferret King posted:

Clearly someone never grew up on fried spam sandwiches.

And those people are worse off for it

Might have a lower overall sodium count but whatever that's what sweating is for.

VorpalFish
Mar 22, 2007
reasonably awesometm

Is there a consensus pick for best beginner program? I'm gonna help a co-worker begin his journey to swoleness soon.

bomb
Nov 3, 2005


VorpalFish posted:

Is there a consensus pick for best beginner program? I'm gonna help a co-worker begin his journey to swoleness soon.

StrongLifts 5x5 is pretty straight forward

ham_sanitizer
Jul 12, 2014

professional swine bather

bomb posted:

StrongLifts 5x5 is pretty straight forward

having tried both, i would definitely recommend starting strength over this...5x5 is too much volume if you’re an absolute beginner. you will plateau more quickly trying to make all those sets. also i would say buy the starting strength book. mark rippetoe is an rear end in a top hat and knows nothing about nutrition, but the form explanations and cues are thorough and great.

Cafe Barbarian
Apr 22, 2016

There's one roulade I can't sing

VorpalFish posted:

Is there a consensus pick for best beginner program? I'm gonna help a co-worker begin his journey to swoleness soon.

A lot of people recommend Greyskull Lp. I'm going to try it out once I have my equipment set up and do some practicing to get the lift forms right. The greyskull program is available for free online various places but it doesn't describe lift form very well people say, there's other resources.

bomb
Nov 3, 2005


ham_sanitizer posted:

having tried both, i would definitely recommend starting strength over this...5x5 is too much volume if you’re an absolute beginner. you will plateau more quickly trying to make all those sets. also i would say buy the starting strength book. mark rippetoe is an rear end in a top hat and knows nothing about nutrition, but the form explanations and cues are thorough and great.

I couldn’t remember the name starting strength but it’s good as well. I started out with strong lifts and 5x5 volume should be fine for a newbie if they start low and focus on form. I’m sure both programs are sufficient and by the time you start plateauing you’re likely to go hop into some more advanced programming anyway.

VorpalFish
Mar 22, 2007
reasonably awesometm

I can probably fix his form well enough and there's probably a zero percent chance he's gonna read a whole book to get started. Just been forever since I've touched linear progression so I don't know what the new hotness is.

KingShiro
Jan 10, 2008

EH?!?!?!
I’ve been doing StrongLifts 5x5 since December and it’s been fine for me. You just have to buy fractional plates for BP/OHP because 5lb jumps are too much. I’ve only failed one set of squats so far @200lbs

Khorne
May 1, 2002

VorpalFish posted:

Is there a consensus pick for best beginner program? I'm gonna help a co-worker begin his journey to swoleness soon.
"get your rear end to the gym" program. It depends what kind of hangups or w/e the person has. Getting them to go to the gym as a routine and do something mildly effective is the first big hurdle.

Maybe I'm especially dumb, or just didn't have PE, but the hardest part of starting going to the gym was I didn't even know what to bring. Do I bring a towel? Do I wear what? Then the hard part was "I don't know what anything is or how it works." How do I load plates? How do I know what weight to lift? etc I didn't worry too much about other people because I started going to the gym really late at night.

It seems dumb in retrospect, but once I stumbled through that I was hooked and branched out from there. I started with starting strength. It's fine as long as you don't buy into the dogma. Stronglifts 5x5 is similar but you're doing 5x5 instead of 3x5 so I'd go with 3x5 personally, but this comes down to shape and size. The smaller you are the more likely you are to be tolerant of volume. If you're an out of shape IT worker or a bigger person, in stature or fat, I'd go with the lower volume.

Another option that people usually don't take is taking the nuckols 28 programs spreadsheet and slapping the beginner lifts into a program for your friend. That fits the number of days the coworker wants to go to the gym because nuckols' template fits 2 days-4+ days just fine. It's also straight forward in terms of lifts and easy to edit.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Mar 1, 2020

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

KingShiro posted:

I’ve been doing StrongLifts 5x5 since December and it’s been fine for me. You just have to buy fractional plates for BP/OHP because 5lb jumps are too much. I’ve only failed one set of squats so far @200lbs

I bought 1.25lb plates for the OHP and promptly left them at the gym, never to be seen again :negative:.

E: I started with Squat, OHP/Bench (alternating days), and Deadlift three times a week. I did 3x5 for those, starting with an empty bar and just added five or ten pounds until I couldn't complete a set at the new weight, then I'd sit there for a day or two and add more weight once I was able to do the full 3x5 for two days.

Batterypowered7 fucked around with this message at 07:03 on Mar 1, 2020

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
90% of people who go to the gym usually just stop so dont invest ttoo much time trying to "convert" people, unless it's someone you really care about

turd in my singlet
Jul 5, 2008

DO ALL DA WORK

WIT YA NECK

*heavy metal music playing*
Nap Ghost

nooneofconsequence posted:

So many people today not wiping down their equipment. I'm 100% getting coronavirus.

Always wipe down equipment BEFORE you use it

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Zzulu posted:

90% of people who go to the gym usually just stop so dont invest ttoo much time trying to "convert" people, unless it's someone you really care about

Let me tell you, buddy, my way of doing a highly repetitive and extremely personalized method of exercise is the One and Only Way

VorpalFish
Mar 22, 2007
reasonably awesometm

Nah I know all that. I'm just gonna try to make it as easy as possible (show up 3x a week and do this) to get him started and what happens happens.

I think the only way people stick with it is falling in love with the progress. Either you look in the mirror one day and go holy poo poo is that me, or you hit your first 2 plate lift and go holy poo poo more of that. If there's something about it that you get excited about, you start wanting to go. I'm just gonna try to give him the best opportunity to experience that and leave it there.

Guyver
Dec 5, 2006

I know this might be a bit of a foreign concept but some people like physical activity and exertion.

bomb
Nov 3, 2005


Guyver posted:

I know this might be a bit of a foreign concept but some people like physical activity and exertion.

This, just gotta get over that two weeks of misery hump. Any time I try something new I make sure to give it at least 2 weeks.

Mustached Demon
Nov 12, 2016

bomb posted:

This, just gotta get over that two weeks of misery hump. Any time I try something new I make sure to give it at least 2 weeks.

Except Oly. Give Oly like 6 months to get used to the technique.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

I switched up my leg routine last night and for the first time in a long, long time (I was clearly just running through the motions lmao) I was sweating way more and at the end of the night I just felt jazzed, it was wild. Did 5x10 155lb hip/glute thrusts and walking away I definitely felt a pump in my glutes


if you know what I mean


:biglips:

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

Mustached Demon posted:

Except Oly. Give Oly like 6 months to get used to the technique.

In the 80's and 90's the Greeks were obsessed with perfect technique to the point you weren't allowed to snatch or clean anything heavier than a PVC pipe for months

funnily enough a lot of people quit the Greek Olympic weightlifting team early because it was boring as gently caress

Mustached Demon
Nov 12, 2016

MikeCrotch posted:

In the 80's and 90's the Greeks were obsessed with perfect technique to the point you weren't allowed to snatch or clean anything heavier than a PVC pipe for months

funnily enough a lot of people quit the Greek Olympic weightlifting team early because it was boring as gently caress

Sounds kind of stupid because you need weight to actually feel the various cues in a complete snatch or clean. Snatch with a PVC pipes a great stretch at least I guess.

I can't even clean an empty bar without feeling weird and off balance. The empty bar just doesn't settle in the front rack. Still warm up various pieces of the lift fine with an empty bar just not the whole thing.

KingShiro
Jan 10, 2008

EH?!?!?!
It sucked missing two different weeks of workouts because of a then undiagnosed shoulder issue (turns out I strained my rhomboids). Even lifting 3 times a week makes me feel better about doing nothing on my off days.

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

I wish someone would teach me how to snatch for months. I've given up.

bomb
Nov 3, 2005


nooneofconsequence posted:

I wish someone would teach me how to snatch for months. I've given up.

Just use double kettlebells instead :smugdon:

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Hell no. It's muscle snatches and overhead squats for the foreseeable future.

stramit
Dec 9, 2004
Ask me about making games instead of gains.
Few months till summer and i'm looking to cut down some weight and get some good looks going on. I'm pretty big but also decently strong (husky style). Looking to put on some vanity muscles, not lose too much of my base strength, and drop about 10-12kg. Anyone got any recommendations for a program that covers something like this?

I'm pretty comfortable managing my calories food side of thing. Just never really looked into this type of training... normally just been, 'lift more weight... good'.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Clean up your diet and train like you have been. If that doesn't work, come back and tell us more specifics.

Cafe Barbarian
Apr 22, 2016

There's one roulade I can't sing

Strumpy posted:

Looking to put on some vanity muscles, not lose too much of my base strength, and drop about 10-12kg. Anyone got any recommendations for a program that covers something like this?

You have basically March, April, May and I suppose June? 10-12 weeks or so till summer. 1kg of weight loss a week is your target, that's a pretty good goal.

I think you should probably look at your diet and find some things you're eating that you can cut out. You have to eat 1000 or so calories a day less, so that's a pretty decent amount of food each day. Not really sure what you eat or drink so it might be easy to find or hard. It is probably easier to start with what you're eating now and alter it rather than completely changing everything. You might be able to cut out a treat or snack, or switch fries for a different side or something, or not drink for 12 weeks. Its doable but you dont have any time to skip a week or anything.

Then by vanity muscles I think you probably mean that you want your arms to look big? In which case you will make sure do lots of curls and tricep push downs depending on what equipment you have, you can search for exercise routine for big arms. You're losing weight but your arms should become more toned.

bomb
Nov 3, 2005


Strumpy posted:

Few months till summer and i'm looking to cut down some weight and get some good looks going on. I'm pretty big but also decently strong (husky style). Looking to put on some vanity muscles, not lose too much of my base strength, and drop about 10-12kg. Anyone got any recommendations for a program that covers something like this?

I'm pretty comfortable managing my calories food side of thing. Just never really looked into this type of training... normally just been, 'lift more weight... good'.

RP Diet and Physique Template

AreWeDrunkYet
Jul 8, 2006

Strumpy posted:

Few months till summer and i'm looking to cut down some weight and get some good looks going on. I'm pretty big but also decently strong (husky style). Looking to put on some vanity muscles, not lose too much of my base strength, and drop about 10-12kg. Anyone got any recommendations for a program that covers something like this?

I'm pretty comfortable managing my calories food side of thing. Just never really looked into this type of training... normally just been, 'lift more weight... good'.

Pretty much any visual improvement you make in 3 months is going to be dropping extra flab. Keep on trucking with the lifting, but cut back on food intake and be as diligent as possible on the calorie counting side of things.

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme posted:

I switched up my leg routine last night and for the first time in a long, long time (I was clearly just running through the motions lmao) I was sweating way more and at the end of the night I just felt jazzed, it was wild. Did 5x10 155lb hip/glute thrusts and walking away I definitely felt a pump in my glutes


if you know what I mean


:biglips:

Do you do hip thrusts with a barbell or Smith machine?

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

nooneofconsequence posted:

Do you do hip thrusts with a barbell or Smith machine?

I love doing them with a barbell but it always feels like such a loving chore to set up.

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DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

nooneofconsequence posted:

Do you do hip thrusts with a barbell or Smith machine?

standard squat/bench bar. It is a pain in the butt to set up, but I learned way too late that you can empty one side of the bar and then tip the other over to make unloading a little faster.

I've been able to thrust 385lbs but tbh I'm probably getting better results from doing multiple clean sets at 155lbs.

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