Doomsday Econ: mmt'lady

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Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

FCKGW posted:

don't forget that in bitcoin land the markets don't close. after the initial 25% drop this morning it stabilized but a few hours ago it started cratering again. down nearly 50% in 24 hours

But I was told Bitcoin wasn't tied to any other currency because it was its OWN currency!

e: lol terrible snipe, the rest of the money is fake too, except number

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:05

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 09:39

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

miniscule12 posted:

Warhammer 401k is a fantastic title.

So have we settled on Vantablack Thursday yet?

Pantone 2b2926 thursday

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:05

Notorious R.I.M.: Jan 27, 2004; up to my ass in alligators

skooma512 posted:

So we have Pestilence and War.

Now all we need is Famine.

https://twitter.com/MFA_China/status/1237000499666116608

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:06

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

skooma512 posted:

Now all we need is Famine.

Buddy, the famine this time is the toilet paper.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:07

Centrist Committee: Aug 6, 2019

SKULL.GIF posted:

Sorry I'm being prickly for no good reason. Check out the LF thread or the book thread, they'll have good recommendations

No worries, poo poo�s crazy right now.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:07

Fellatio del Toro: Mar 21, 2009

Rectal Death Adept posted:

If worthless digital items like cryptocurrencies are starting to evaporate as the collective dream dies I'm curious how long the Star Citizen developer can stay solvent.

sorry but the value of a star citizen ship can only go up uP UP

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:09

Marx Headroom: May 10, 2007; AT LAST! A show with nonono ~~commercials~~!; Fallen Rib

skooma512 posted:

So we have Pestilence and War.

Now all we need is Famine.

*wipes off the dust*

E8mlne...

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:10

Mrs. Dash: Apr 11, 2009

Notorious R.I.M. posted:

https://twitter.com/MFA_China/status/1237000499666116608

Gonna laugh my way to the Chinese language classes if this thing is what triggers China's undisputed ascension into role of the world's primary superpower as it seeds its influence across the globe with goodwill missions and business deals while the US still trying to bake cans of beans in the flames of its economy and travel banning random nations Trump doesn't like.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:14

FBS: Apr 27, 2015; The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

skooma512 posted:

So we have Pestilence and War.

Now all we need is Famine.

have you been to a supermarket lately?

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:18

Unperson_47: Oct 14, 2007

Mrs. Dash posted:

Gonna laugh my way to the Chinese language classes if this thing is what triggers China's undisputed ascension into role of the world's primary superpower as it seeds its influence across the globe with goodwill missions and business deals while the US still trying to bake cans of beans in the flames of its economy and travel banning random nations Trump doesn't like.

i heard "beans" and came runnin'

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:18

Mrs. Dash: Apr 11, 2009

Unperson_47 posted:

i heard "beans" and came runnin'

Low prices and warm beans, friend.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:19

Goon Boots: Feb 2, 2020

Rectal Death Adept posted:

If worthless digital items like cryptocurrencies are starting to evaporate as the collective dream dies I'm curious how long the Star Citizen developer can stay solvent.

星艦牙科永不死!
星艦牙科萬歲!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZHElERa0JA

Goon Boots fucked around with this message at 05:22 on Mar 13, 2020

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:19

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Mrs. Dash posted:

Gonna laugh my way to the Chinese language classes if this thing is what triggers China's undisputed ascension into role of the world's primary superpower as it seeds its influence across the globe with goodwill missions and business deals while the US still trying to bake cans of beans in the flames of its economy and travel banning random nations Trump doesn't like.

Hahshahaha

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:19

DEEP STATE PLOT: Aug 13, 2008; Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!

i want nothing more than the dow to end tomorrow below where it was when trump took office

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:21

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxIp3Hsp378

there's this guy I occasionally watch, Michael Norman, to talk about stock market stuff, I think I got him from this thread way back as an example of someone who kinda knew what he was doing because he wasn't as much of a market evangelist / fundamentalist as most other people, but his video today basically boils down to "buy the dip" and he says explicitly that today he bought stock in Apple and Tesla

lol

lmao

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:22

fknlo: Jul 6, 2009; Fun Shoe

Shifty Pony posted:

G-fund is super safe but low growth. it cannot lose value except by inflation. she was in the best spot possible.

mines in the 2050 target fund and I'm down bigly but lol don't care.

I moved the bulk of my TSP to the G fund a week or two ago with some in and still contributing to the 2050 lifecycle fund. I'm up $60 on the money in the G fund :smug:

That doesn't cover the $15k I'm down from before I moved it and what the L fund has lost. I can't retire for 11 years though so it doesn't really matter.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:23

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Notorious R.I.M. posted:

https://twitter.com/MFA_China/status/1237000499666116608

50000 liters is like 50 IBCs or like two 20� portable tank containers.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:28

Lacrosse: Jun 16, 2010; >:V

skooma512 posted:

So we have Pestilence and War.

Now all we need is Famine.

Remember last year when we had widespread crop failures due to the heartland getting flooded?

That could happen again.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:28

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Hurricane season will be fun

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:29

Ages: Feb 20, 2005; Its just half the puffin juice and the puffin lives and doesnt mind. I promise!; Fun Shoe

Shinjobi posted:

Hurricane season will be fun

"that's impossible! how can a hurricane have the flu?!"

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:32

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Bar Ran Dun posted:

50000 liters is like 50 IBCs or like two 20� portable tank containers.

guessing they're planning on creating a perimeter, malathion is mean poo poo, they used it to gently caress up some bug that was threatening the oranges in FL when I was a kid and they were like "STAY THE gently caress INSIDE UNTIL 7AM"

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:33

RadiRoot: Feb 3, 2007

mycomancy posted:

Could someone summarize what the article says? It's paywalled.

For anyone that has issues with paywalls, this plugin for Firefox is really good.

https://github.com/iamadamdev/bypass-paywalls-firefox

RadiRoot fucked around with this message at 05:41 on Mar 13, 2020

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:36

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

FAUXTON posted:

guessing they're planning on creating a perimeter, malathion is mean poo poo, they used it to gently caress up some bug that was threatening the oranges in FL when I was a kid and they were like "STAY THE gently caress INSIDE UNTIL 7AM"

it isn�t really a lot. I mean two containers isn�t a lot. I�ve seen more malathion on like a Tuesday.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:40

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

lol number climbed its way back to close.

thankfully, we're in the logarithmic news cycle now and we're at VIX 75 and its also Friday the 13th, with a full moon this week and DST to kick us off, so lets flip a loving coin and see if we're up 10 or down 10 tomorrow. woooooo!!!!

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:45

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Bar Ran Dun posted:

it isn’t really a lot. I mean two containers isn’t a lot. I’ve seen more malathion on like a Tuesday.

They used one fogger truck probably per neighborhood or two, so yeah that's not a ton for a whole country

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:46

oxsnard: Oct 8, 2003

The stock buying robots love ramping stocks during the Chinese lunch break and also after Asian markets close.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:48

OhFunny: Jun 26, 2013; EXTREMELY PISSED AT THE DNC

Mrs. Dash posted:

Gonna laugh my way to the Chinese language classes if this thing is what triggers China's undisputed ascension into role of the world's primary superpower as it seeds its influence across the globe with goodwill missions and business deals while the US still trying to bake cans of beans in the flames of its economy and travel banning random nations Trump doesn't like.

https://twitter.com/QuickTake/status/1238306347159916544?s=19

Sure China's sending medical teams aboard on humanitarian goodwill missions, but what's it doing to support Number?

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:49

BeefThief: Aug 8, 2007

tomorrow is going to be a good day for Number. i can feel it.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:50

MorrisBae: Jan 18, 2020; by Athanatos

fosborb posted:

lol number climbed its way back to close.

thankfully, we're in the logarithmic news cycle now and we're at VIX 75 and its also Friday the 13th, with a full moon this week and DST to kick us off, so lets flip a loving coin and see if we're up 10 or down 10 tomorrow. woooooo!!!!

Friday the 13th: Jason Takes a poo poo Without Wiping

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:51

Party Boat: Nov 1, 2007; where did that other dog come from

who is he

Unperson_47 posted:

is there an animated gif of the smugass stock trader dow number caps in reverse?

maybe an edit of it over that simpsons gif of lisa breaking that kid's heart

Is he even a trader

I assumed he was their Phillie Phanatic

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:51

Woke Mind Virus: Aug 22, 2005

Bunch of dorks out there saying the Fed loaned the banks 1.5 trillion and didn't give it away.

How about the government writes some 1000 year treasuries for 1.5 trillion and then the Fed buys those?

gently caress it how about they write some bajillion year notes for a gazillion dollars. It's a LOAN!!!! Bing bong so simple

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:51

Rectal Death Adept: Jun 20, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

It's pretty on brand for a Black Friday to involve murders in retail stores

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:51

anime was right: Jun 27, 2008; death is certain
keep yr cool

# ? Mar 13, 2020 05:54

BeefThief: Aug 8, 2007

Despite the significance of number,

# ? Mar 13, 2020 06:00

Fellatio del Toro: Mar 21, 2009

aww poo poo numbers wakin up

# ? Mar 13, 2020 06:01

Mouth Ze Dong: Jan 2, 2005; Aint no thing like me, 'cept me.

I boight 20 packs of hot dogs on my way home and ill see yall in 3 weeks

# ? Mar 13, 2020 06:02

Mouth Ze Dong: Jan 2, 2005; Aint no thing like me, 'cept me.

synapse posted:

Bunch of dorks out there saying the Fed loaned the banks 1.5 trillion and didn't give it away.

How about the government writes some 1000 year treasuries for 1.5 trillion and then the Fed buys those?

gently caress it how about they write some bajillion year notes for a gazillion dollars. It's a LOAN!!!! Bing bong so simple

Fuckin lmao

# ? Mar 13, 2020 06:03

386-SX 25Mhz VGA: Jan 14, 2003; (C) American Megatrends Inc.,

Good time to repost this

https://www.theonion.com/u-s-economy-grinds-to-halt-as-nation-realizes-money-ju-1819571322

quote:

U.S. Economy Grinds To Halt As Nation Realizes Money Just A Symbolic, Mutually Shared Illusion

WASHINGTON—The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.

What began as a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday ended with Bernanke passionately disavowing the entire concept of currency, and negating in an instant the very foundation of the world's largest economy.

"Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we…if we…" said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter disbelief. "You know what? It doesn't matter. None of this—this so-called 'money'—really matters at all."

"It's just an illusion," a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. "Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless."

According to witnesses, Finance Committee members sat in thunderstruck silence for several moments until Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) finally shouted out, "Oh my God, he's right. It's all a mirage. All of it—the money, our whole economy—it's all a lie!"

Screams then filled the Senate Chamber as lawmakers and members of the press ran for the exits, leaving in their wake aisles littered with the remains of torn currency.

U.S. markets closed as traders left their jobs and resolved for once to do or make something, anything of real value.

As news of the nation's collectively held delusion spread, the economy ground to a halt, with dumbfounded citizens everywhere walking out on their jobs as they contemplated the little green drawings of buildings and dead white men they once used to measure their adequacy and importance as human beings.

At the New York Stock Exchange, Wednesday morning's opening bell echoed across a silent floor as the few traders who arrived for work out of habit looked up blankly at the meaningless scrolling numbers on the flashing screens above.

"I've spent 25 years in this room yelling 'Buy, buy! Sell, sell!' and for what?" longtime trader Michael Palermo said. "All I've done is move arbitrary designations of wealth from one column to another, wasting my life chasing this unattainable hallucination of wealth."

"What a cruel cosmic joke," he added. "I'm going home to hug my daughter."

Sources at the White House said President Obama was "still trying to get his head around all this" and was in seclusion with his coin collection, muttering "it's just metal, it's just metal" over and over again.

"The president will be making a statement very soon," press secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters. "At the moment, though, his mind is just too blown to comment."

A few U.S. banks have remained open, though most teller windows are unmanned due to a lack of interest in transactions involving mere scraps of paper or, worse, decimal points and computer data signifying mere scraps of paper. At a Bank of America branch in Spokane, WA, curious former customers wandered aimlessly through a large empty vault, while several would-be robbers of a Chase bank in Columbus, OH reportedly put their guns down and exited the building hand in hand with security guards, laughing over the inherent absurdity of the idea of $100 bills.

Likewise, the real estate industry has all but vanished, with mortgage lenders seeing no reason to stop people from reclaiming their foreclosed-upon homes.

"I don't even know what we were thinking in the first place," said former banker Nathan Collins of Brandon, MS, as he jimmyed open a door to allow a single mother and her five children to move back into their house. "A bunch of people sign a bunch of papers, and now this family has no place to live? That's just plain ludicrous."

The realization that money is nothing more than an elaborate head game seems to have penetrated the entire country: In Wilmington, DE, for instance, a collection agent reportedly broke down in joyful sobs when he informed a woman on the other end of the phone that he had absolutely no reason to harass her anymore, as her Discover Card debt was no longer comprehensible.

For some Americans, the fog of disbelief surrounding the nation's epiphany has begun to lift, with many building new lives free from the illusion of money.

"It's back to basics for me," Bernard Polk of Waverly, OH said. "I'm going to till the soil for my own sustenance and get anything else I need by bartering. If I want milk, I'll pay for it in tomatoes. If need a new hoe, I'll pay for it in lettuce."

When asked, hypothetically, how he would pay for complicated life-saving surgery for a loved one, Polk seemed uncertain.

"That's a lot of vegetables, isn't it?" he said.

# ? Mar 13, 2020 06:04

Ruzihm: Aug 11, 2010; Group up and push mid, proletariat!

https://twitter.com/guillotineshout/status/1238330462814248961

# ? Mar 13, 2020 06:08

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 09:39

Fellatio del Toro: Mar 21, 2009

synapse posted:

Bunch of dorks out there saying the Fed loaned the banks 1.5 trillion and didn't give it away.

How about the government writes some 1000 year treasuries for 1.5 trillion and then the Fed buys those?

gently caress it how about they write some bajillion year notes for a gazillion dollars. It's a LOAN!!!! Bing bong so simple

its a $1,500,000,000,000 check kiting scam

# ? Mar 13, 2020 06:09

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