UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

Who is your first pick in the deputy leadership race? This poll is closed.
R. Allin-Khan	6	1.60%
R. Burgon	80	21.33%
D. Butler	72	19.20%
A. Rayner	35	9.33%
I. Murray	5	1.33%
P. Flaps	177	47.20%
Total:	375 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

duckmaster: Sep 13, 2004; Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Not-coronavirus chat:

I watch freesat (nb. NOT FREEVIEW they are different and where I live there are only about 5 channels on freeview).
However, my humax box died the night before I left my old flat. After failed attempts to get a new humax box, I discovered that humax pulled out of freesat in October and all that is available is boxes for around �200.

I have got a Sky HD box and get quite a lot of the freesat channels, but not all. Also, despite it having an ethernet port, I can't connect to the internet and watch catch up via it.

My mother has a Sky HD box and gets more free channels. (When my dad was alive they used to pay for sky, but after he died she didn't want to pay for it anymore - she basically listens to the Archers and watches BBC News obsessively). Anyway, this means she watches free channels via a sky box with the old viewing card in it.

Sometimes I find a channel on my skyhd box and it says 'insert viewing card'. So can I buy a viewing card and see extra free channels? (Not interested in a sky subscription).

Or, can anyone recommend a smart tv for no more than about �150. I'm absolutely not bothered about HD (I can't tell the difference between SD and HD) though I suppose that is standard these days. I do want to be able to connect my internet up to it and watch catch ups!

If you have a friend who has Sky they should have a Sky Go account meaning you can use their Sky package as long as you have something which can download the app (console, or stream through your phone?). The basic Sky package lets you use Sky Go on 5 devices - I let a friend of mine use my Netflix and he lets me use his Sky Go login, he lets his sister uses it too and gets her Amazon Prime in return, etc. So if you know someone with Sky then might be worth asking. Quite often they don't even know they've got Sky Go as well, and if you're not using all your Netflix slots you've got something to trade, so everyone wins (except Sky). I essentially pay �5.99 for Netflix and the Sky Sports package. It doesn't have the BBC channels but you can watch them through iPlayer instead. It's a pretty good little scam.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:34

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# ? May 20, 2024 18:50

TheRat: Aug 30, 2006

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

30,000 UK citizens are stuck in French skiing resorts because they all arrived yesterday and then France locked down at 10pm.

That's REALLY bad. Like 90% of the first 500 confirmed cases in Norway were connected to people coming home from skiing in Austrian/Italian alps. I'm sure the french parts are just as bad.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:36

Kevino07: Oct 16, 2008

Prince John posted:

Are the Cooperative MPs particularly bad, or have I just been unlucky in the ones I've clicked on? Seems like a high correlation between "is a poo poo centrist" and "is a cooperative MP".

Here's all the co-operative MPs in parliament:

Jon Ashworth (Leicester South)
Tracy Brabin (Batley and Spen)
Stella Creasy (Walthamstow)
Geraint Davies (Swansea West)
Anneliese Dodds (Oxford East)
Stephen Doughty (Cardiff South and Penarth)
Florence Eshalomi (Vauxhall)
Chris Evans (Islwyn)
Preet Gill (Birmingham, Edgbaston)
Mark Hendrick (Preston)
Meg Hillier (Hackney South and Shoreditch)
Seema Malhotra (Feltham and Heston)
Rachael Maskell (York Central)
Jim McMahon (Oldham West and Royton)
James Murray (Ealing North)
Alex Norris (Nottingham North)
Kate Osamor (Edmonton)
Luke Pollard (Plymouth, Sutton and Devonport)
Lucy Powell (Manchester Central)
Steve Reed (Croydon North)
Christina Rees (Neath)
Jonathan Reynolds (Stalybridge and Hyde)
Lloyd Russell-Moyle (Brighton, Kemptown)
Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield)
Alex Sobel (Leeds North West)
Gareth Thomas (Harrow West)

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:37

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

lmao

https://twitter.com/CanBeOnly1Leage/status/1238648082067226631?s=20

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:37

kyojin: Jun 15, 2005; I MASHED THE KEYS AND LOOK WHAT I MADE

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Personally I'd get that plane back to Amsterdam now because there's gonna come a point very soon - I reckon - where you won't be able to get to Amsterdam at all. Either the Netherlands closes borders or the UK does.

Extremely strongly seconding this

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:37

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

TheRat posted:

That's REALLY bad. Like 90% of the first 500 confirmed cases in Norway were connected to people coming home from skiing in Austrian/Italian alps. I'm sure the french parts are just as bad.

Yeah I know :psypop:

like if i had a skiing trip scheduled to start yesterday I would have cancelled that fucker weeks ago.

Apparently that's in the Guardian somewhere but I can't find it. My wife mentioned it.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:39

Prince John: Jun 20, 2006; Oh, poppycock! Female bandits?

Bobstar posted:

E/N virus rant incoming.

Have a random :glomp:

from a stranger. Maybe it's worth sitting back and getting a little perspective on how unlikely the virus is to badly affect you if you're relatively young and don't have underlying conditions.

I know 'the show must go on', but at the end of the day, theatre is just entertainment, and if it's badly affecting your mental health or your need to be with your family right now, then you should consider jacking it in for a bit. There's also the risk that some European countries have been closing their borders over the last couple of days, which might continue happening, although I think I saw there were some exemptions e.g. for returning family members for at least one of them.

As for the food and supplies if you have no time to go shopping, this is a semi-serious suggestion, but a bag of Huel for emergencies isn't a bad shout. It's hardly delicious (coffee flavour is the only one I find palatable), but it is at least nutritionally complete, very compact and contains 30-odd meals at a price of �1.32/meal according to their site. It takes no time to order and like a minute to prepare and doesn't go off for months so it's quite convenient to just leave it there in case it's needed.

Prince John fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Mar 15, 2020

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:40

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Casual aside while I'm watching Better Call Saul, but: I wonder how long-running contemporary TV shows are gonna address the pandemic. Obviously some will be about the pandemic but what about those that just take place in the year 2020.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:47

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Casual aside while I'm watching Better Call Saul, but: I wonder how long-running contemporary TV shows are gonna address the pandemic. Obviously some will be about the pandemic but what about those that just take place in the year 2020.

Coronation street has to do an episode where everyone is sitting in their living rooms having tension with each other, unthinkable.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:50

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Casual aside while I'm watching Better Call Saul, but: I wonder how long-running contemporary TV shows are gonna address the pandemic. Obviously some will be about the pandemic but what about those that just take place in the year 2020.

doomsday preppers going to be insanely good

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:52

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Jose posted:

doomsday preppers going to be insanely good

Casualty, less so.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:53

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

https://twitter.com/AdamBienkov/status/1239076978491363330?s=20

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:56

Pablo Bluth: Sep 7, 2007; I've made a huge mistake.

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Not-coronavirus chat:

I watch freesat (nb. NOT FREEVIEW they are different and where I live there are only about 5 channels on freeview).
However, my humax box died the night before I left my old flat. After failed attempts to get a new humax box, I discovered that humax pulled out of freesat in October and all that is available is boxes for around �200.

I have got a Sky HD box and get quite a lot of the freesat channels, but not all. Also, despite it having an ethernet port, I can't connect to the internet and watch catch up via it.

My mother has a Sky HD box and gets more free channels. (When my dad was alive they used to pay for sky, but after he died she didn't want to pay for it anymore - she basically listens to the Archers and watches BBC News obsessively). Anyway, this means she watches free channels via a sky box with the old viewing card in it.

Sometimes I find a channel on my skyhd box and it says 'insert viewing card'. So can I buy a viewing card and see extra free channels? (Not interested in a sky subscription).

Or, can anyone recommend a smart tv for no more than about �150. I'm absolutely not bothered about HD (I can't tell the difference between SD and HD) though I suppose that is standard these days. I do want to be able to connect my internet up to it and watch catch ups!

https://www.sky.com/shop/freesat/home/ will get you the viewing card for any extra free channels. I think they still block you from using the recording functionality of any Sky+ box.

Nerdy option: find a cheap DVB-S PCIe card and watch on your PC.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:57

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

If I capture and eat boris johnson then do I become prime minister then?

# ? Mar 15, 2020 13:59

thespaceinvader: Mar 30, 2011; The slightest touch from a Gol-Shogeg will result in Instant Death!

Jose posted:

i highly recommend this stuff btw for anyone who is finding the skin on their hands getting damaged by washing them repeatedly

Concur, I started using it when I worked on a fish counter and between the hand washing constantly and the near-freezing temperatures my hands S U F F E R E D, I keep some around now because my illness thing and lots of walking (L, not N people) in the winter means basically the same thing.

As for greetings I propose the vulcan salute.

Or an enthusiastic wave.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:01

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Wait no maybe boris is actually a darwinist and is trying to out breed all other humans.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:05

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

Just so I understand our national strategy - as a person in my 30s with no underlying health conditions who does not live with elderly relatives, my civic duty is to get this disease right? I should be avoiding washing my hands and touching everything on the Tube.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:06

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

for those of you who like hot sauce encona have started making a carolina reaper sauce and it owns. its similar in heat to the standard hot pepper sauce but a lot fruitier and less vinegary

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:08

Pencils R Cool: Feb 16, 2011

TES are reporting that we might actually get school closures?

https://www.tes.com/news/coronavirus-schools-close-all-children-key-workers posted:

Schools 'to close to all but children of key workers'

The government is set to announce that schools will be closed for a few weeks in response to the spread of coronavirus � but remain open to children of key workers, such as nurses, according to reports.

In the next stage of the government's plans for dealing with Covid-19, skeleton staff will remain in schools to provide childcare and keep public services up and running, while other pupils will have to stay away, it was reported last night.

On the Sophy Ridge on Sunday TV show this morning, health secretary Matt Hancock confirmed that the government would be making an announcement on the next stage of its plans on Tuesday, following a Cobra meeting on Monday.

This week, the NEU teaching union joint general secretaries Mary Bousted and Kevin Courtney wrote to prime minister Boris Johnson to demand answers about the risks of infection to staff and pupils of schools staying open.

The letter says: "Every day, we are increasingly getting asked why schools aren't closing if mass gatherings are to be suspended.

"We all want to limit and delay the spread of the coronavirus and we do think medical advice and expert scientific guidance is important in this regard."

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:09

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

OwlFancier posted:

Wait no maybe boris is actually a darwinist and is trying to out breed all other humans.

I still can't get over his quote about how the mayor in jaws made terrible, awful decisions but had "the right instincts." Like, it's a perfect distillation of boris himself

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:09

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Whenever I read your posts I prepare for the worst, and I initially read that as "for those of you who like hot sauce enema"

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:09

zhar: May 3, 2019

Pencils R Cool posted:

TES are reporting that we might actually get school closures?

would hate to be a child of a key worker

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:10

Jel Shaker: Apr 19, 2003

I�ve just realised that the reason the old boomers are not worried about this impending health emergency, is that every single publicised recent disaster (e.g. 2008 financial crash, aids, climate change) hasn�t actually affected their lives negatively , it�s as if tragedy befalls other people

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:11

Bobstar: Feb 8, 2006; KartooshFace, you are not responding efficiently!

Prince John posted:

Have a random from a stranger. Maybe it's worth sitting back and getting a little perspective on how unlikely the virus is to badly affect you if you're relatively young and don't have underlying conditions.

I know 'the show must go on', but at the end of the day, theatre is just entertainment, and if it's badly affecting your mental health or your need to be with your family right now, then you should consider jacking it in for a bit. There's also the risk that some European countries have been closing their borders over the last couple of days, which might continue happening, although I think I saw there were some exemptions e.g. for returning family members for at least one of them.

As for the food and supplies if you have no time to go shopping, this is a semi-serious suggestion, but a bag of Huel for emergencies isn't a bad shout. It's hardly delicious (coffee flavour is the only one I find palatable), but it is at least nutritionally complete, very compact and contains 30-odd meals at a price of �1.32/meal according to their site. It takes no time to order and like a minute to prepare and doesn't go off for months so it's quite convenient to just leave it there in case it's needed.

Thank you and Jeremoud. It's all good really. Making theatre is very stressful, in a good way. You're right of course, it's just entertainment, but when you're in there it feels like the most important thing in the world, and the emotions build up over 6x 13h days. Last Sunday I cried because my favourite Tapirs at the zoo had been put down since I was last there!

I'm very lucky that I'm young, mostly healthy and even have a job to go back to if we get shut down. Just bad timing all round, as I'm sure it is for millions of other people who were trying to do things.

Stay safe all.

And along with the Norwegian one, I really like this hand cream, available in Boots:

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:11

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Jose posted:

https://twitter.com/AdamBienkov/status/1239076978491363330?s=20

I bet you that Boris has asked for a study in how much potential money could be saved if a million or so oldies died right now.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:12

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

I gotta say I would be inconsolably livid if the virus targeted young people and all the boomers were like "suck it up millenials, we had to die in droves just to get the morning's paper!" but since it affects them and they're all committing ritual suicide I find it difficult to give a gently caress.

Any 60+ plus who has been exposed to the truth about this virus but doesn't believe the MSM has it coming. The world will be better off when they and their poisonous views have been wiped from the face of the earth.

There will be a point where people they know start dying and all this dumb performative defiance will very quickly switch to full blown confusion and panic, mark my words. I don't want any of the nice old folks to get hurt but I will absolutely not mourn a single one of these assholes, and I will find this darkly hilarious.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:15

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

https://twitter.com/bethrigby/status/1239172345287315456?s=21

Mother's Day is a week away and still no clear guidance? Jesus.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:15

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Well I certainly wasn't expecting to see gig-style queueing systems for an Ocado order today.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:19

thespaceinvader: Mar 30, 2011; The slightest touch from a Gol-Shogeg will result in Instant Death!

I'm getting genuinely cvoncerned I'm going to have trouble with the shopping tomorrow.

At least I managed to get the car battery charged so I can go at all!

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:29

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

zhar posted:

would hate to be a child of a key worker

it�ll probably be like the last day of school when the teachers didn�t give a poo poo and just let everyone watch films all day

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:36

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

I need to brave the pandemic to go to the shop because I forgot something on my stock up trip, :rip:

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:36

Jel Shaker: Apr 19, 2003

Pandemic protection plans just inferred through a wink and a nod

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:37

CGI Stardust: Nov 7, 2010; Brexit is but a door,
election time is but a window.

I'll be back

Pencils R Cool posted:

https://www.tes.com/news/coronavirus-schools-close-all-children-key-workers posted:
Schools 'to close to all but children of key workers'

The government is set to announce that schools will be closed for a few weeks in response to the spread of coronavirus � but remain open to children of key workers, such as nurses, according to reports.

In the next stage of the government's plans for dealing with Covid-19, skeleton staff will remain in schools to provide childcare and keep public services up and running, while other pupils will have to stay away, it was reported last night.

On the Sophy Ridge on Sunday TV show this morning, health secretary Matt Hancock confirmed that the government would be making an announcement on the next stage of its plans on Tuesday, following a Cobra meeting on Monday.

This week, the NEU teaching union joint general secretaries Mary Bousted and Kevin Courtney wrote to prime minister Boris Johnson to demand answers about the risks of infection to staff and pupils of schools staying open.

The letter says: "Every day, we are increasingly getting asked why schools aren't closing if mass gatherings are to be suspended.

"We all want to limit and delay the spread of the coronavirus and we do think medical advice and expert scientific guidance is important in this regard."

TES are reporting that we might actually get school closures?

at some point, maybe, but as always, not now

don't worry, they'll move to the next stage of their plans when they feel they've done everything they can in this stage. ahaha

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:38

Danger - Octopus!: Apr 20, 2008; Nap Ghost

Julio Cruz posted:

it�ll probably be like the last day of school when the teachers didn�t give a poo poo and just let everyone watch films all day

Doesn't schools being open just for the kids of key workers also need the government to make sure the only people working are "key workers" since otherwise people who are working but not identified as key will need to find childcare?

Oh wait, that is more thought than the government is putting into this.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:38

Flipswitch: Mar 30, 2010

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

It is your duty to film this and post it to the thread

I'll have to keepmy eyes out for him. Haven't seen him the past week but heres my dog rolling in the carpet:

https://imgur.com/a/PEDHbAo

How do I embed these anyway?

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:39

Chinese Gordon: Oct 22, 2008

Top tip for shopping: go to specialty ethnic shops/supermarkets. Most white people don't know they exist/are too scared to go in.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:40

Renfield: Feb 29, 2008

Pablo Bluth posted:

https://www.sky.com/shop/freesat/home/ will get you the viewing card for any extra free channels. I think they still block you from using the recording functionality of any Sky+ box.

Nerdy option: find a cheap DVB-S PCIe card and watch on your PC.

The sky box acts as the shittest freesat box, unless you pay the �10 a month "freesat" sub - which enables the recording, pause etc functions that are there.

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:44

Renfield: Feb 29, 2008

Flipswitch posted:

I'll have to keepmy eyes out for him. Haven't seen him the past week but heres my dog rolling in the carpet:

https://imgur.com/a/PEDHbAo

How do I embed these anyway?

Hedgehogs are endangered now - it is your duty to feed the spiky hedge-pig and film it

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:46

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Flipswitch posted:

I'll have to keepmy eyes out for him. Haven't seen him the past week but heres my dog rolling in the carpet:

https://imgur.com/a/PEDHbAo

How do I embed these anyway?

Right click the video, choose "Copy video address", paste the URL, et voila:

https://i.imgur.com/U9psold.mp4

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:50

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# ? May 20, 2024 18:50

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

In non Corona virus news I have recently discovered Fascinating Aida. Saucy old ladies singing risque and often political songs

https://youtu.be/mVy7faNKEtM

# ? Mar 15, 2020 14:55

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