[COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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BOGO LOAD: Jul 1, 2004; "You know I always had trouble really chewing the fat with my pops. Just listen to him..."

peepsalot posted:

post your new fave apolalypse songs itt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l6N_nGibYU

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:24

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 22:00

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

https://twitter.com/benyt/status/1245529084534366208

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:26

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

lol gently caress I just touched my mouth to my fingers bad but I've barely left my house in 3 weeks, haven't been within 6 feet of another human in that time either but I'm still on a verge of a panic attack.

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:26

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

Bruteman posted:

https://twitter.com/JasonHornbuckle/status/1245408004574523392

lol @ this guy i dont have a twitter, tia

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:27

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

PawParole posted:

I�m the big brain geniuos who thinks grammatical gender is the same as social gender.

I go up to brown people and tell them their language is unwoke, and that they need to speak like an Oberlon grad w/ 6 figs of student debt.

greetings fellow blue checkmark

i'm 100% convinced anyone using ___x is a worthless white PMC college educated succ lib who uses harry potter references to compare trump and is full votebluenomatterwho biden lover complaining about RBG's seat while tsk tsking people trying to do better things are possible. absolutely first up against the wall.

Xaris has issued a correction as of 03:38 on Apr 2, 2020

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:28

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

Plinkey posted:

if arby's doesn't stay in business through this i'm blaming all of you

they're running a ridiculous deal right now

five roast beef sandwiches for $10. no coupons. load me up with that wet meat roast beef daddy

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:29

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

MadJackal posted:

Day 9

�You want to push another epi?� �Sure, why not.�

Overhead on the hospital PA: �As you know, today is National Doctor�s Day. Let�s conclude this quiet moment by standing where you are and applauding our heroic physicians.�

As that played, half a dozen nurses and I were frantically getting into our PPEs outside a suspected COVID room to rush into a Code Blue.

Surprisingly, no one stopped to applaud.

Inside, the calming voice was drowned out by the hiss of a nonrebreather, the labored expiratory moans of the patient, and the warning dings of the bedside monitor. The bedside monitor was not happy that the patient�s heart rate was somewhere in the high 160s and was letting the room know its opinion on the matter.

Narrow complex ventricular tachycardia. But the patient isn�t hypotensive or otherwise unstable. You don�t lay on the paddles of a defibrillator for that.

�You�re going to feel a little funny for a second,� is what the nurse says to reassure the patient. What she really meant was, �We�re going to stop your heart for a second or two to reset your circuit breaker, so if it feels like you�re dying briefly, it�s because you are.� The nurse draws up some adenosine, the other MD in the room slams the bolus into the patient�s veins, and everybody gets to watch the monitor flatline for a held breath before a heart rate returns. Takes two boluses for it to take.

Problem solved.

For 73 minutes.

Nothing was playing overhead for the second Code Blue. Thankfully, an intensivist was already inside running the show. I guess the Residents haven�t been left out to fend for ourselves yet. This time around the bedside monitor was simply furious that the patient stopped breathing.

Pulseless electrical activity, PEA. The heart�s wires are firing but the pump isn�t working. You don�t lay on the paddles of a defibrillator for that either.

Hollywood has lied to you your whole life.

�Do you think we�re going to be able to resuscitate him?� �He�s full Code.� �But do you think we�re going to be able to resuscitate him?� �No, but�� Right, so it doesn�t matter. We�re running the Code.�

I get my exercise for the day by pressing on the patient�s chest for a couple minutes.

�I don�t really want to intubate him.� The patient gets intubated anyway.

A few people cycle through pushing on the patient�s chest. We haven�t felt a pulse since the Code began.

�How long has it been?� I suspect there�s a countdown timer in the intensivist�s brain that�s ticking towards an alarm labeled Ok, We Tried.

More compressions. Pretty sure I feel a rib break under my palms. That sensation never ceases to make me wince.

Another epi. Still no pulse.

The Doppler to check for a pulse is silent.

The timer goes off.

�That�s it.�

Time of death called.

�

Feels like COVID is eroding the edges off everyone�s souls in the hospital.

The initial novelty of sharp fear and apprehension standing outside COVID rooms before entering is giving way to a constant background dull dread as we gown up for the tenth or twentieth time that day.

I see my incredibly sharp attending boss distracted, needing to be reminded two or three times whose room he�s about to enter.

The lack of success in curing our patients is also taking its toll. �Successes� have mostly been defined as sending a patient home with personal oxygen tanks and explicit instructions on when to return if they get worse. We�ve had some milder cases that got sent home without oxygen, but they seem fewer than the number we send to get tubed.

I feel very bitter about this. It makes the sign out front, a sign that expresses nothing but pure gratitude and love, seem somehow mocking.

quoting so i can find it later. sounds real rough dude

i hope you're doing ok given the conditions

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:29

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

Google Butt posted:

lol gently caress I just touched my mouth to my fingers bad but I've barely left my house in 3 weeks, haven't been within 6 feet of another human in that time either but I'm still on a verge of a panic attack.

lol totally normal poo poo

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:30

Dog Toothbrush: Oct 21, 2019; by Reene

Google Butt posted:

lol gently caress I just touched my mouth to my fingers bad but I've barely left my house in 3 weeks, haven't been within 6 feet of another human in that time either but I'm still on a verge of a panic attack.

dude if you haven't left the house in three days and you washed your hands recently, you're safe. it has to come from somewhere.

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:30

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

Google Butt posted:

lol gently caress I just touched my mouth to my fingers bad but I've barely left my house in 3 weeks, haven't been within 6 feet of another human in that time either but I'm still on a verge of a panic attack.

rip goon, thought of virus and died

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:32

703: May 11, 2007; Contains Carbon Monoxide

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

lol totally normal poo poo

are your avatars fighting each other

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:32

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

703 posted:

are your avatars fighting each other

no but I respect a nate diaz avatar above all others

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:33

Trumps Baby Hands: Mar 27, 2016; Silent white light filled the world. And the righteous and unrighteous alike were consumed in that holy fire.

D1E posted:

Do you not know that there are literally already Trumpists stabbing Asian people on the street because they think they're all coronavirus carriers and they brought it into the U.S.?

i was going to chide you for exaggerating but I did the google and holy poo poo, that actually happened (although it was in a sam�s club, because of course it was)

The stabber was Hispanic so I�m pretty sure he wasn�t trying to start RaHoWa, but I think your point that incidents of all kinds of violent hate crimes are going to skyrocket is probably right on

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:33

DryGoods: Apr 26, 2014; Dogs, on the other hand, can connect with that pathos.

got any sevens posted:

what 80's film had the closest prediction to 2020 of civilization's downfall

that robot butler scene from Rocky IV

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:34

Bruteman: Apr 15, 2003; Can I ask ya somethin', Padre? When I was kickin' your ass back there... you get a little wood?

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Lol even corona-hoax CHUDs want the Cruise ship industry to gently caress off.
https://twitter.com/JasonHornbuckle/status/1245510881569636352?s=19

he's upset with Trump too.

https://twitter.com/JasonHornbuckle/status/1245001174568353792

https://twitter.com/JasonHornbuckle/status/1245115843517743112

https://twitter.com/JasonHornbuckle/status/1244709559568121857

https://twitter.com/JasonHornbuckle/status/1244703551072411648

https://twitter.com/JasonHornbuckle/status/1244662687428218882

you get the picture.

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:34

Son of Man: Jan 29, 2003; by Azathoth

Google Butt posted:

lol gently caress I just touched my mouth to my fingers bad but I've barely left my house in 3 weeks, haven't been within 6 feet of another human in that time either but I'm still on a verge of a panic attack.

Kill urself before u turn into a zombie, save ur famly

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:35

Zeriel: Nov 6, 2004

Reciting the roni genetic code into a loud speaker rn

I've moved a level beyond super spreader

also, lol that bass pro shops in my county are reopening but can only sell guns and ammo

Zeriel has issued a correction as of 03:37 on Apr 2, 2020

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:35

Willias: Sep 3, 2008

D1E posted:

Do you not know that there are literally already Trumpists stabbing Asian people on the street because they think they're all coronavirus carriers and they brought it into the U.S.? Read my post - I didn't say poo poo about them being starving.

The redhat MAGA chuds will be the enemy, and they're all armed.

And loving LOL if you think the police would be on your side.

Get real.

You're talking about that one guy at Sams' Club right? Dude, I get that hate crimes are going to skyrocket because we as the United States of America love our hate crimes in times of crisis, but that doesn't mean your neighbors are going to kick your door in because you're Asian.

I'm more afraid of what paranoid goons will do with firearms.

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:38

Mike the TV: Jan 14, 2008; Ninety-nine ninety-nine ninety-nine; Pillbug

Rip in peace Google butt

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:38

Spoondick: Jun 9, 2000

libertarians are having a real one right now

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:38

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

https://twitter.com/cnnpolitics/status/1245485870142107655?s=21

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:38

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

Son of Man posted:

Kill urself before u turn into a zombie, save ur famly

its an option

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:39

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

may the 209 be with me in my time of need

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:39

Dog Toothbrush: Oct 21, 2019; by Reene

RIP to the census workers going to be gunned down by paranoid virus avoiders

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:42

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

https://twitter.com/jamiedupree/status/1245540001280151552

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:43

Irradiation: Sep 14, 2005; I understand your frustration.

Doctor Jeep posted:

https://twitter.com/russ1mitchell/status/1245502082511036417

where's the good whose partner said this was fake news

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:43

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

Sleep apnea, COVID-19 - meh what's the difference?

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:44

Dustcat: Jan 26, 2019

Google Butt posted:

lol gently caress I just touched my mouth to my fingers bad but I've barely left my house in 3 weeks, haven't been within 6 feet of another human in that time either but I'm still on a verge of a panic attack.

lol settle the gently caress down you idiots and quit doing so much weed if it's causing you to freak out

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:45

Spoondick: Jun 9, 2000

brugroffil posted:

https://twitter.com/jamiedupree/status/1245540001280151552

you can't let black people vote, you will regret this!

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:46

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Willias posted:

I'm more afraid of what paranoid goons will do with firearms.

goons are going to scalise some balls but in a rod sterling twist it was their own, and then they get excited that they got a free vasectomy but then they wakeup at the er and turns out they now have a 50,000 medical expense... and their balls are still intact

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:47

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

Dustcat posted:

lol settle the gently caress down you idiots and quit doing so much weed if it's causing you to freak out

all natural unmedicated generalized anxiety baby, great time to be alive. Someone come smash all my electric devices

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:47

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Dustcat posted:

lol settle the gently caress down you idiots and quit doing so much weed if it's causing you to freak out

psycocomatically giving myself the 'roni to own myself

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:47

Raiad: Feb 1, 2005; Without the law, there wouldn't be lawyers.

weren't there studies that explicitly found that cpaps/bipaps do not help people with corona, and in fact ultimately make the problem worse

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:48

MoaM: Dec 1, 2009; Joyous.

D1E posted:

Sleep apnea, COVID-19 - meh what's the difference?

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:48

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Right wing nutjob representing a "news organization" so obsequious it would make North Korean state broadcasters blush is mysteriously allowed in every one of Trump's briefings

https://www.washingtonpost.com/life...?outputType=amp

quote:

And it wasn�t OANN�s turn on Tuesday. Nor on Wednesday, when Rion showed up in the room again � prompting the correspondents� association to vote to remove OANN from the rotation.

�We did this because a reporter for this outlet twice attended press briefings in contravention of this policy,� the board of the WHCA said in a statement late Wednesday. �We do not take this action lightly. This is a matter of public safety.�

Rion and her employer, a tiny conservative cable outlet known as OANN, appear to have gotten special permission from the White House, in violation of the guidelines. The reasons, and the source of the approval, are unclear, but OANN and Rion have a history of reporting favorably about Trump. Rion herself has pushed conspiracy theories that advance his political interests, such as the unfounded allegation that officials in Ukraine secretly manipulated the 2016 election to help Hillary Clinton. Trump, in turn, has tweeted praise of OANN�s reporting dozens of times.

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:48

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

Raiad posted:

weren't there studies that explicitly found that cpaps/bipaps do not help people with corona, and in fact ultimately make the problem worse

Elon Musk does not care.

He spent pocket change for PR, and now his tech bro sycophant followers on Twitter are sucking him off for being such a great and generous man in addition to being the greatest genius of our time.

He. Is. A. oval office.

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:50

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

https://twitter.com/MattJonesRadio/status/1245446225765203969?s=19

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:51

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Raiad posted:

weren't there studies that explicitly found that cpaps/bipaps do not help people with corona, and in fact ultimately make the problem worse

it probably doesn't help unless you have a supplemental oxygen tank/machine with them (which a lot do), but i don't see how it'd make the problem worse.

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:51

KaptainKrunk: Feb 6, 2006

INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK IS BACK BABY

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:53

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 22:00

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

Xaris posted:

it probably doesn't help unless you have a supplemental oxygen tank/machine with them (which a lot do), but i don't see how it'd make the problem worse.

They make the problem worse, actually:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/27/822211604/cpap-machines-were-seen-as-ventilator-alternatives-but-could-spread-covid-19

# ? Apr 2, 2020 03:53

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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