[COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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Star Phlatulence: Jan 14, 2006; by Cyrano4747; Bleak Gremlin

NofrikinfuN posted:

I work with a guy that had one of these. The surgery looks like someone attacked him above the asscrack with a melon baller. He had to wear a pump for like a month to help it heal.

tell me about this pump. what was it pumping. where was it pumping from. where was it pumping to.

# ? Apr 21, 2020 17:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 18:13

Spergin Morlock: Aug 8, 2009

pancake rabbit posted:

lol

https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/1252641390942617601

lmao

# ? Apr 21, 2020 17:59

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1252640875282391040

# ? Apr 21, 2020 17:59

Raiad: Feb 1, 2005; Without the law, there wouldn't be lawyers.

The Jack Chop Guy posted:

do they think getting tested makes you instantly immune

they hear "we can hardly do anything until we start actually testing people" and comprehend "once we test everybody everything can go back to normal!"

they are going to think that for every thing the news tells them that scientists are trying, of course

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:00

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

Lol at anyone who was saying *well actually Trump doesn't have the power to lift restrictions!*

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:00

SpiderHyphenMan: Apr 1, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

brugroffil posted:

https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1252640875282391040

lmao

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:02

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

brugroffil posted:

Lol at anyone who was saying *well actually Trump doesn't have the power to lift restrictions!*

Excuse me mr. trump SIR when you publicly declared Chinese people illegal I believe you were unaware of this paragraph of the emoluments clause sir !!

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:02

Wrex Ruckus: Aug 24, 2015

brugroffil posted:

https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1252640875282391040

not nice

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:03

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

brugroffil posted:

https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1252640875282391040

split me open mr trump

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:05

FUCK COREY PERRY: Apr 19, 2008

I'm ready for 2020 to have the lowest death toll of any year this decade gently caress it let er rip let's get started in style

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:06

Ages: Feb 20, 2005; Its just half the puffin juice and the puffin lives and doesnt mind. I promise!; Fun Shoe

pancake rabbit posted:

lol

https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/1252641390942617601

thanks for nothing, joe pizza

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:07

FUCK COREY PERRY: Apr 19, 2008

plague plague plague Plague PLAGUE PLAGUE

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:07

Rynn: Jul 23, 2003

Bulgakov posted:

lmao

whoopsie doodle at the roads u find yourself having taken

Figure 4: How to stuff your farts back into your rear end in a top hat

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:07

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Bip Roberts posted:

split me open mr trump

oh so THIS is how gun nuts feel when they go over the edge

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:08

Relevant Tangent: Nov 18, 2016; Tangentially Relevant

pancake rabbit posted:

lol

https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/1252641390942617601

anyone surprised by this needs to dramatically rethink who they trust

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:09

Scarodactyl: Oct 22, 2015

Scarodactyl posted:

I bought canned brown bread. Hope it doesn't suck.

Update: it is quite decent. You'd have trouble make a sandwich from it but it's a tastyish dene brown bread. I am assured this is a comfort food in New England. 3 year shelf life too.

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:09

COVID-420: Apr 21, 2020; Natural cures they don't want you to know about.

Dang. The New York Times thinks it's just the flu bro.

quote:

Antibody studies in other countries have produced similar numbers, noted Dr. John Ioannidis, a professor of medicine at Stanford University and an author of the paper on Santa Clara County.

If the numbers prove accurate, he added, the coronavirus may be much less deadly than originally expected, with a fatality rate more closely resembling that of a bad flu strain than a pandemic of profound lethality.

Neither report has been peer-reviewed or published in a scientific journal, and both pieces of research have met with criticism. Both relied on volunteers, which may have skewed the results, and the investigators say they are now probing their data to see how significant this bias may have been.

They maintain, though, that so-called participation bias would not alter the data enough to negate the overall conclusions.

Many widely available antibody tests have been found to be inaccurate. The investigators say they validated the accuracy of the tests they used beforehand, and argue that the tests could not be so much in error as to invalidate the conclusions.

I mean, they also say the antibody studies are probably trash, so yaknow. Fair and balanced, New York Times. Crazy that a flu killed like 40,000 people in two months. Wild rear end flu.

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:12

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

can't believe nobody posted this classic

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:14

mystes: May 31, 2006

pancake rabbit posted:

lol

https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/1252641390942617601

I think you mean it increases your chance of dying WITH coronavirus.

Also since this is from a study in veterans hospitals, cue Trump trying to shut down the VA immediately.

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:15

NofrikinfuN: Apr 23, 2009

slopJoe 2020330 posted:

tell me about this pump. what was it pumping. where was it pumping from. where was it pumping to.

basically since the wound was a big gaping hole, it had to be packed with a bunch of medicated gauze and i think the pump was like a way to keep it drained regularly? i cant recall if he had to wear something like a colostomy bag to store that fluid in or what, he was off work the whole time

things like cysts are tricky because when they are gone, the body tends to fill the void with whatever the gently caress. i had surgery on my right cheek for a lymphangioma and for about a month i had to go back to the childrens hospital every week so they could drain it with a needle. i have a pretty nasty scar because by the time i went back in it was always swollen from all the fluid collecting. the pump avoids this.

my coworkers rear end probably healed better than my face :smith:

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:15

Reverend Dr: Feb 9, 2005; Thanks Reverend

gently caress COREY PERRY posted:

I'm ready for 2020 to have the lowest death toll of any year this decade gently caress it let er rip let's get started in style

1) Coronavirus is FAKE NEWS
2) Remove FAKE NEWS numbers from death count
3) Actually people have been coming back to life in 2020

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:16

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Goa Tse-tung posted:

can't believe nobody posted this classic

Dave Mustaine scratches his rear end, so what?

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:17

Impkins Patootie: Apr 20, 2017

brugroffil posted:

https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1252640875282391040

lawyers itt what is the goon rate on getting a last will and testament drafted?

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:17

mystes: May 31, 2006

Holy poo poo the difference in death rate in the study

quote:

About 28% who were given hydroxychloroquine plus usual care died, versus 11% of those getting routine care alone.

Lol at the people who have been posting things here like "Hydroxychloroquine is perfectly safe. Stop calling it aquarium cleaner! :smug:

" in the last week.

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:18

oxsnard: Oct 8, 2003

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?"

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:19

UFOTacoMan: Sep 22, 2005; Thanks easter bunny!
bok bok!

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:21

shovelbum: Oct 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

UFOTacoMan posted:

Michigan chuds, both obsess over their civil war victories over the Confederacy and fly Confederate flag

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:22

Siljmonster: Dec 16, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

when was the last time we had 9/11s amount of people dying every day (in the USA)

oh

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:22

Spergin Morlock: Aug 8, 2009

mastershakeman posted:

gun nuts

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:24

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

https://twitter.com/IAPublicHealth/status/1252632934131077121?s=19

We are doing great in iowa. Nobody worry about food chains!

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:24

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

TMMadman posted:

hahahahaha

60% of working age people could be tested in the next 9 days?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

the govern of Maryland has to smuggle tests in lamo

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:24

Ebola Roulette: Sep 13, 2010; No matter what you ~~win~~ ~~lose~~ ragepiss.

Gringostar posted:

Hmm

*Fires up state and county health roadmaps for TN*

23% of adults in TN smoke
33% of adults in TN are obese
20% are in poor or fair health in TN

All of these are worse than the national average. Pretty decent chance the person who made the poster is "one of the weak"

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:24

AppleNippleBOB: May 13, 2007

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:26

kaleedity: Feb 27, 2016

congrats on 2.5m confirmed cases worldwide

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:26

GIRL BRAINS: Sep 5, 2011; The gods are small birds

kaleedity posted:

congrats on 2.5m confirmed cases worldwide

Here's to another 2.5 baby

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:29

magiccarpet: Jan 3, 2005

UFOTacoMan posted:

well they are protesting so minorities will get back to work so

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:34

Star Phlatulence: Jan 14, 2006; by Cyrano4747; Bleak Gremlin

NofrikinfuN posted:

basically since the wound was a big gaping hole, it had to be packed with a bunch of medicated gauze and i think the pump was like a way to keep it drained regularly? i cant recall if he had to wear something like a colostomy bag to store that fluid in or what, he was off work the whole time

things like cysts are tricky because when they are gone, the body tends to fill the void with whatever the gently caress. i had surgery on my right cheek for a lymphangioma and for about a month i had to go back to the childrens hospital every week so they could drain it with a needle. i have a pretty nasty scar because by the time i went back in it was always swollen from all the fluid collecting. the pump avoids this.

my coworkers rear end probably healed better than my face

would it help if you replaced part of your face with a sick mask like the dude in the genghis khan video

# ? Apr 21, 2020 18:35