PYF Funny Pictures: the cheek shall inherit the girth

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Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Getting sunburnt nostrils to own the libs.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 13:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 05:44

Random Stranger: Nov 27, 2009

Food hoarding has gone too far:

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:19

Whybird: Aug 2, 2009; Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar; Nap Ghost

Paladinus posted:

Trump won't inject you with bleach either, don't get your hopes up. You'll have to buy the bleach, and inject it yourself, if you want to get things done.

I do think I should publically state at this point that I, a liberal, am extremely triggered and offended by the prospect of Republicans injecting themselves with bleach. Every time I think that a Republican might be injecting themselves with bleach despite my feelings on the matter, a surfeit of emotion rises in me that makes me cry big liberal tears and feel extremely owned.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:20

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:43

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:46

ChubbyChecker: Mar 25, 2018; Can't post for 2 hours!

Cartoon Man posted:

Chloe clearly states that she's untrustworthy.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:49

RoyKeen: Jul 24, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Cartoon Man posted:

We should make depressed cattle that just want to die. I suppose we do that already. And yes I'm aware of the scene from Hitchhiker's Guide.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:58

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Chloe has time travel and refuses to share its secret with me and for that she deserves death.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:59

Macdeo Lurjtux: Jul 5, 2011; BRRREADSTOOORRM!

Scratch Monkey posted:

I fail to see how welding two babies together is an essential business.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 14:59

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Macdeo Lurjtux posted:

I fail to see how welding two babies together is an essential business.

stranger things have happened

# ? Apr 24, 2020 15:08

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Cartoon Man posted:

Hey Chloe, if you didn't want to get eaten, why were you so delicious? Checkmate, athetists.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 15:20

Shut up Meg: Jan 8, 2019; You're safe here.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 15:55

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

Data Graham posted:

Is the public ready for ... nasal sex?

Korea's been ready for ages, check out this folk tale about why people get runny noses

quote:

Origin of Common Cold - Encyclopedia of Korean Folk Culture

There lived a prince with two genitals, and when it came time for him to marry the king ordered his subjects to find a maiden with two genitals. But they were not able to find such a maiden, and in the end the prince died. When he turned into a ghost, he sought relief for his unfulfilled desires by releasing himself in people�s nostrils, which in people manifests as symptoms of sinus congestion in the early stages of a cold and progresses into a runny nose.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:08

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Paladinus posted:

Trump won't inject you with bleach either, don't get your hopes up. You'll have to buy the bleach, and inject it yourself, if you want to get things done.

Dick DeBartolo: "I've got it: 'blecch injections'!"

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:12

AFewBricksShy: Jun 19, 2003; of a full load.

Shut up Meg posted:

It's even better when you consider what lysol was used for back when it first came out.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:22

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

AFewBricksShy posted:

It's even better when you consider what lysol was used for back when it first came out.

We should have a nice goon project where we all mail in a copy of that form to get the lysol douche book and see what their response is

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:28

The Mighty Moltres: Dec 21, 2012; Come! We must fly!

Cartoon Man posted:

Personally I'd rather be eaten than thrown away if I'm already dead, Chloe.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:33

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

Korea's been ready for ages, check out this folk tale about why people get runny noses

"oh, don't worry about the prince jizz, it's just seasonal allergies"

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:34

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Cows would go extinct in my country if we stopped eating them. If we just let them off into the wild they'd all die to predators and the cold

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:40

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

I always suspected snot was ghost cum

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:45

BillyC: Feb 19, 2013; everythin' under heaven is in utter chaos, cloud; Bread Liar

Shut up Meg posted:

I really want to see the start of the butterfly effect that ends with bleach companies having to explicitly tell people not to inject their products into their bodies because the President of the United States said it cures a virus.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 16:46

Snackmar: Feb 23, 2005; I'M PROGRAMMED TO LOVE THIS CHOCOLATY CAKE... MY CIRCUITS LIGHT UP FOR THAT FUDGY ICING.

AFewBricksShy posted:

It's even better when you consider what lysol was used for back when it first came out.

What's really interesting about these kinds of ads is that at the time they were understood to be promoting Lysol use as a contraceptive, which were illegal back then: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/lysols-vintage-ads-subtly-pushed-women-to-use-its-disinfectant-as-birth-control-218734/

# ? Apr 24, 2020 17:02

Shut up Meg: Jan 8, 2019; You're safe here.

BillyC posted:

I really want to see the start of the butterfly effect that ends with bleach companies having to explicitly tell people not to inject their products into their bodies because the President of the United States said it cures a virus.

You just have.

That is exactly what that is:
https://www.rb.com/media/news/2020/april/improper-use-of-disinfectants/

# ? Apr 24, 2020 17:36

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

I think the meaning was �I wish we could go back in time to whenever Homer stepped on the mosquito or whatever it was that put us on this path�

# ? Apr 24, 2020 17:43

Shut up Meg: Jan 8, 2019; You're safe here.

Data Graham posted:

I think the meaning was �I wish we could go back in time to whenever Homer stepped on the mosquito or whatever it was that put us on this path�

oooh.

Me dumb. Him smart.

Me wonder this too, now.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 17:49

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Inceltown posted:

Wait till you find out about pigeons.

https://i.imgur.com/WcXbxxg.mp4

It's either the decryption key for the bird's hard drive or the bird version of a QR code for tracking :tinfoil:

Cartoon Man posted:

"What's the elevator one again? Wonka-bater? Wank-a-vator? Sorry this is my first time"

# ? Apr 24, 2020 17:55

SyNack Sassimov: May 4, 2006; Let the robot win.
��--Captain James T. Vader

BOOTY-ADE posted:

"What's the elevator one again? Wonka-bater? Wank-a-vator? Sorry this is my first time"

Charlie and the Great rear end Elevator, Aatrek's favorite book.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:04

BiggerBoat: Sep 26, 2007; Don't you tell me my business again.

Macdeo Lurjtux posted:

I fail to see how welding two babies together is an essential business.

The Adam & Eve sex store place down the street from my work had an open sign up this week. I'm certainly not going to argue that masturbation is non-essential but isn't that what the internet's for?

Do people need bongs, crack pipes, porn DVD's and fleshlights right now. Actually, maybe they do.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:12

SneezeOfTheDecade: Feb 6, 2011; gettin' covid all
over your posts

BillyC posted:

I really want to see the start of the butterfly effect that ends with bleach companies having to explicitly tell people not to inject their products into their bodies because the President of the United States said it cures a virus.

It all started because Garrett Wang was named one of People magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People.

No, really. Wang played Harry Kim on Star Trek: Voyager, but didn't get along with the producers. They were about to fire him to make room for a new cast member, but then People named him one of their 50 Most Beautiful People and they didn't want to sacrifice the publicity, so they fired Jennifer Lien instead, and replaced her with Jeri Ryan in order to maintain the gender balance and add a contrast to Captain Janeway. Jeri Ryan's shooting schedule contributed to the breakup of her marriage with Jack Ryan, and when Jack Ryan decided to run for Senate in 2004, their divorce and custody records were unsealed, revealing that Jack had pressured Jeri into having sex in public. This caused Jack to withdraw from the race, allowing his opponent Barack Obama an easy win; Obama used his new national prominence to run for President in 2008, which caused the racist Tea Party backlash, and Trump became a prominent Tea Party voice and rode that into the Presidency in 2016.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:22

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

You don't have to spoiler knowing things about Star Trek. It's OK. You're safe here.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:22

Snowy: Oct 6, 2010; A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense

BiggerBoat posted:

The Adam & Eve sex store place down the street from my work had an open sign up this week. I'm certainly not going to argue that masturbation is non-essential but isn't that what the internet's for?

Do people need bongs, crack pipes, porn DVD's and fleshlights right now. Actually, maybe they do.

Everyone�s junk is rubbed raw and they need lube ASAP

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:27

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Pick posted:

You don't have to spoiler knowing things about Star Trek. It's OK. You're safe here.

Are you sure? Pretty soon you'll be saying people shouldn't be judged for reading Star Wars novels and do we really want that?

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:29

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Shut up Meg posted:

don't worry it was all a huge loving joke, on reporters! FOOLED YOU SIMPS

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:36

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

SneezeOfTheDecade posted:

It all started because Garrett Wang was named one of People magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People.

No, really. Wang played Harry Kim on Star Trek: Voyager, but didn't get along with the producers. They were about to fire him to make room for a new cast member, but then People named him one of their 50 Most Beautiful People and they didn't want to sacrifice the publicity, so they fired Jennifer Lien instead, and replaced her with Jeri Ryan in order to maintain the gender balance and add a contrast to Captain Janeway. Jeri Ryan's shooting schedule contributed to the breakup of her marriage with Jack Ryan, and when Jack Ryan decided to run for Senate in 2004, their divorce and custody records were unsealed, revealing that Jack had pressured Jeri into having sex in public. This caused Jack to withdraw from the race, allowing his opponent Barack Obama an easy win; Obama used his new national prominence to run for President in 2008, which caused the racist Tea Party backlash, and Trump became a prominent Tea Party voice and rode that into the Presidency in 2016.

But also Trump got a tv show in the mid-2000s and that rehabilitated his image to some degree. No Apprentice, no President Trump.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:41

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

SneezeOfTheDecade posted:

It all started because Garrett Wang was named one of People magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People.

No, really. Wang played Harry Kim on Star Trek: Voyager, but didn't get along with the producers. They were about to fire him to make room for a new cast member, but then People named him one of their 50 Most Beautiful People and they didn't want to sacrifice the publicity, so they fired Jennifer Lien instead, and replaced her with Jeri Ryan in order to maintain the gender balance and add a contrast to Captain Janeway. Jeri Ryan's shooting schedule contributed to the breakup of her marriage with Jack Ryan, and when Jack Ryan decided to run for Senate in 2004, their divorce and custody records were unsealed, revealing that Jack had pressured Jeri into having sex in public. This caused Jack to withdraw from the race, allowing his opponent Barack Obama an easy win; Obama used his new national prominence to run for President in 2008, which caused the racist Tea Party backlash, and Trump became a prominent Tea Party voice and rode that into the Presidency in 2016.

I had no idea that not only was Voyager so bad it ruined Star Trek but it also ruined the whole country.

.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:48

Zereth: Jul 9, 2003

I blame that creature which tried evolving legs. Big mistake in the long run.

# ? Apr 24, 2020 18:48

BillyC: Feb 19, 2013; everythin' under heaven is in utter chaos, cloud; Bread Liar

SneezeOfTheDecade posted:

It all started because Garrett Wang was named one of People magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People.

No, really. Wang played Harry Kim on Star Trek: Voyager, but didn't get along with the producers. They were about to fire him to make room for a new cast member, but then People named him one of their 50 Most Beautiful People and they didn't want to sacrifice the publicity, so they fired Jennifer Lien instead, and replaced her with Jeri Ryan in order to maintain the gender balance and add a contrast to Captain Janeway. Jeri Ryan's shooting schedule contributed to the breakup of her marriage with Jack Ryan, and when Jack Ryan decided to run for Senate in 2004, their divorce and custody records were unsealed, revealing that Jack had pressured Jeri into having sex in public. This caused Jack to withdraw from the race, allowing his opponent Barack Obama an easy win; Obama used his new national prominence to run for President in 2008, which caused the racist Tea Party backlash, and Trump became a prominent Tea Party voice and rode that into the Presidency in 2016.

Huh, thats actually kinda wild. What a world, eh?