facetoucher cat posted:

https://twitter.com/TODAYonline/status/1252771874989203457

Let the culling of celebrities begin, sorry we had to start here

seattle plague rat posted:

lol u got prescribed a salt lick

twoday posted:

Man Musk posted:

Just disappointed there is no place to stream ❤️ CHINATOWN and I know I will get made fun of if I watch once upon a time in Hollywood again

facetoucher cat posted:

https://twitter.com/TODAYonline/status/1252771874989203457

Let the culling of celebrities begin, sorry we had to start here

aers posted:

please clap is spreading

atomicgeek posted:

Bean talk has been on the wane, but I have bean wisdom to share. To wit, if you have dry beans, and you just don't loving know how to transform them into hot, tasty fiber, here's what you do:

Get a pound of dry beans, and pick through them. Get rid of beans with broken skins, beans that are shriveled, beans that cry out to you in strange voices, beans that only you can see and nobody else in the room, and beans that remind you of your dead lover. Cursed beans cook just fine but honestly it's not worth having cursed burritos on the other end. Also, the shriveled ones turn into loving rocks and sometimes you bite them and it's horrible.

Put the beans in a really big pot. Cover them with 2-3 inches of water, and bring it to a boil. Boil them for two minutes, turn off the heat, cover the pot, and walk off for two hours. Play a video game that only partly satisfies you. Stare outside. Pet your cat absently and mentally construct a dovecote or a poison garden outside your stale, tiny apartment. Shake off your reverie, write in your journal about what is to come, come back inside, and tend to your beans.

Bring the beans back up to a boil and partially cover them this time. Check every 15 minutes or so; taste your cooking beans, and once they're tender to a level that you like, turn off the heat and get ready for THE GREAT PACKING. Basically you want containers for your beans that contain an amount you'd use in a typical recipe (for most beans it's gonna be dividing your dry pound into 3-4 cooked portions) PLUS room for bean juice. Myself, I mostly cook black beans and divide them in 3. You want room in your storage to soak the beans in bean juice with a little room left over for freezing expansion, plus you're going to splash in some vinegar (it does not matter what kind)(In my case, I do a capful of rice vinegar, which I estimate to be roughly 1 tbsp). Goons will tell you bean juice is what farts are made of, but that's also where nutrition is stored. What's worse to you? Wasting away, pale and sad, or being strong and firm and farting like Hephaestus himself as he works his mighty volcanic forge? I know where I've thrown my lot in.

Anyway, shove those containers in your freezer, they'll take about a day to defrost when you need them, and you will. You'll need beans.

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

I leave feeling pretty good and go home and just loving annihilate some leftover taco meat with a heaping spoon of salt and I feel like a million bucks.

Absolutely wild. And that's why I owe the ER $2,000. Salt paranoia.

TMMadman posted:

BONGHITZ posted:

i eat trash and i love it, dominos pizza every day

Homeless Friend posted:

Doctor looming over dying covid patient, withholding care.

You should have clapped.

atomicgeek posted:

Bean talk has been on the wane, but I have bean wisdom to share. To wit, if you have dry beans, and you just don't loving know how to transform them into hot, tasty fiber, here's what you do:

Get a pound of dry beans, and pick through them. Get rid of beans with broken skins, beans that are shriveled, beans that cry out to you in strange voices, beans that only you can see and nobody else in the room, and beans that remind you of your dead lover. Cursed beans cook just fine but honestly it's not worth having cursed burritos on the other end. Also, the shriveled ones turn into loving rocks and sometimes you bite them and it's horrible.

Put the beans in a really big pot. Cover them with 2-3 inches of water, and bring it to a boil. Boil them for two minutes, turn off the heat, cover the pot, and walk off for two hours. Play a video game that only partly satisfies you. Stare outside. Pet your cat absently and mentally construct a dovecote or a poison garden outside your stale, tiny apartment. Shake off your reverie, write in your journal about what is to come, come back inside, and tend to your beans.

Bring the beans back up to a boil and partially cover them this time. Check every 15 minutes or so; taste your cooking beans, and once they're tender to a level that you like, turn off the heat and get ready for THE GREAT PACKING. Basically you want containers for your beans that contain an amount you'd use in a typical recipe (for most beans it's gonna be dividing your dry pound into 3-4 cooked portions) PLUS room for bean juice. Myself, I mostly cook black beans and divide them in 3. You want room in your storage to soak the beans in bean juice with a little room left over for freezing expansion, plus you're going to splash in some vinegar (it does not matter what kind). Goons will tell you bean juice is what farts are made of, but that's also where nutrition is stored. What's worse to you? Wasting away, pale and sad, or being strong and firm and farting like Hephaestus himself as he works his mighty volcanic forge? I know where I've thrown my lot in.

Anyway, shove those containers in your freezer, they'll take about a day to defrost when you need them, and you will. You'll need beans.

i think of demons posted:

if someone can't figure out bean (with the caveat of under-cooked bean toxicity being a real thing) they are beyond saving

mastershakeman posted:

Dilemma: I haven't left the block I live on since March, when I wore mask/goggles/rain jacket with hood cinched down/nitrile gloves (wear cotton mask when stepping off lawn to walk around with my kid, but I have n95s too)

But I'm almost out of weed (been using it for IBS due to anxiety about everyone I know dying) and just got my medical card reactivated in the system. Can't send the wife to pick it up and no delivery

What to do

mastershakeman posted:

Dilemma: I haven't left the block I live on since March, when I wore mask/goggles/rain jacket with hood cinched down/nitrile gloves (wear cotton mask when stepping off lawn to walk around with my kid, but I have n95s too)

But I'm almost out of weed (been using it for IBS due to anxiety about everyone I know dying) and just got my medical card reactivated in the system. Can't send the wife to pick it up and no delivery

What to do

Google Butt posted:

lol we really are just completely hosed and there is no hope, that owns

a.lo posted:

dominos is not trash it is king

mastershakeman posted:

Dilemma: I haven't left the block I live on since March, when I wore mask/goggles/rain jacket with hood cinched down/nitrile gloves (wear cotton mask when stepping off lawn to walk around with my kid, but I have n95s too)

But I'm almost out of weed (been using it for IBS due to anxiety about everyone I know dying) and just got my medical card reactivated in the system. Can't send the wife to pick it up and no delivery

What to do

mastershakeman posted:

Dilemma: I haven't left the block I live on since March, when I wore mask/goggles/rain jacket with hood cinched down/nitrile gloves (wear cotton mask when stepping off lawn to walk around with my kid, but I have n95s too)

But I'm almost out of weed (been using it for IBS due to anxiety about everyone I know dying) and just got my medical card reactivated in the system. Can't send the wife to pick it up and no delivery

What to do

atomicgeek posted:

Yeah but do you assume they're idiots, full stop, or do you assume they're probably okay but have a pound of dry beans in one hand and terror in the other?

I want to spread knowledge, and zen.

mastershakeman posted:

Dilemma: I haven't left the block I live on since March, when I wore mask/goggles/rain jacket with hood cinched down/nitrile gloves (wear cotton mask when stepping off lawn to walk around with my kid, but I have n95s too)

But I'm almost out of weed (been using it for IBS due to anxiety about everyone I know dying) and just got my medical card reactivated in the system. Can't send the wife to pick it up and no delivery

What to do

TMMadman posted:

So I think you'll be find if you just go to whatever weed store you normally use and just use your standard precautions, although I personally think you're going a little overboard with the goggles/hood cinched down stuff.

mastershakeman posted:

Dilemma: I haven't left the block I live on since March, when I wore mask/goggles/rain jacket with hood cinched down/nitrile gloves (wear cotton mask when stepping off lawn to walk around with my kid, but I have n95s too)

But I'm almost out of weed (been using it for IBS due to anxiety about everyone I know dying) and just got my medical card reactivated in the system. Can't send the wife to pick it up and no delivery

What to do

Rah! posted:

...but then everyone shoves their newly washed hands into their filthy plague money pockets and puts their covid bucks on the same dirty counter and rubs their now unclean hands all over it and then the weed that they get, and then grabs the exit handle of the door

lmoa corona

Marx Headroom posted:

$34 for 25lbs of beans on meh.com today lads

got any sevens posted:

watch who framed roger rabbit then

Shear Modulus posted:

lol tom hanks's wife's last name is wilson

703 posted:

watching randoms wearing gloves while out shopping is hilarious and terrifying because they just do everything the same but they are wearing gloves

Wrex Ruckus posted:

why did thread favorite BNO Newsroom stop tweeting?

BONGHITZ posted:

totally legit shopping websites: meh.com, woot.com, harumph.com