[COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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TotalHell: Feb 22, 2005; _{Roman Reigns fights CM Punk in fantasy warld. Lotsa violins, so littl kids cant red it.}

Dolphin posted:

covid mainly enters the body through the anus, which i have rectified.

what i'm saying is

i have a bleached rear end hole.

sew yer butt shut

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 6, 2024 05:32

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

good morning

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:10

Harry Potter on Ice: Nov 4, 2006; IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

SpaceCadetBob posted:

gonna quote this, because this is my exact story to. this whole covid thing broke my brain bad enough that I had a total meltdown and had to use a crisis hotline a month ago. the following day my dr gave me a script for clonazepam, and in the last month Ive maybe had to take 4 doses on really bad days. all the other days in the last month though, ive been pretty ok just knowing that I got a safety net if i lose it again.

poo poo probably saved my life, and i feel very comfortable knowing that I can safely decide when i need a pill and when i dont.

I've read these stories before

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:11

wet_goods: Jun 21, 2004; I'M BAAD!

Bert Roberge posted:

https://twitter.com/PressHerald/status/1254379783783407616

How the gently caress is Oregon 5?

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:16

Honky Mao: Dec 26, 2012

Steve Yun posted:

Time to make a maslow's hierarchy meme for coronavirus. What should go into the levels?

?

?

Yeast, hairdye, netflix

Unemployment insurance, stimulus check

Lysol spray, clorox wipes, hand soap
Masks, gloves, hand sanitizer
Toilet paper, paper towels, bottled water

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:16

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:18

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

im so tired of this poo poo

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:19

Flunky: Jan 2, 2014

hell yeah hit me up with some of those monkey kidneys

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:20

Flavius Aetass: Mar 30, 2011

I hate these loving morons

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:21

CODChimera: Jan 29, 2009

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

loving god drat flag

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:22

Pf. Hikikomoriarty: Feb 15, 2003; RO YNSHO; Slippery Tilde

https://twitter.com/CAKitchener/status/1254021029489491968

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:22

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

america deserves covid-19

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:22

HashtagGirlboss: Jan 4, 2005

Steve Yun posted:

Time to make a maslow's hierarchy meme for coronavirus. What should go into the levels?

Yelling at the manager in person

Haircuts

Yeast, hairdye, netflix

Unemployment insurance, stimulus check

Lysol spray, clorox wipes, hand soap
Masks, gloves, hand sanitizer
Toilet paper, paper towels, bottled water

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:22

Taco Duck: Feb 18, 2011

All it took was news that corona kills more minorities than whites and now the Tea Party is back in action I see

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:23

CODChimera: Jan 29, 2009

Flavius Aetass posted:

I hate these loving morons

Yeah they are starting to get really intolerable

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:23

Don Pigeon: Oct 29, 2005; Great pigeons are not born great. They grow great by eating lots of bread crumbs.

same

it's mentally exhausting to have to deal with these fuckin morons

and the rest of the people are worshipping dr. fauci when he's just your average experienced sensible doctor... feels very much like idiocracy

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:23

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

I had to chase my kid down the block without time to get a mask and a neighbor was like yuck yuck no mask, did you make yourself safe with Lysol??

Go back to Canada , neighbor! I'm the only sane one, luckily my kid agreed "there's too many friends" in the cul de sac where 9 children are playing and 6 adults standing around at proper distance (while the kids zoom viruses around everywhere) . Next step is getting the kid to mask up and also give him anxiety about being near people

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:24

kru: Oct 5, 2003

TotalHell posted:

sew yer butt shut

but my posts come from there

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:24

CODChimera: Jan 29, 2009

Don Pigeon posted:

same

it's mentally exhausting to have to deal with these fuckin morons

and the rest of the people are worshipping dr. fauci when he's just your average experienced sensible doctor... feels very much like idiocracy

I honestly don't think I could deal with people that deranged

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:26

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

xrunner posted:

This is good, but I feel like it needs a good punchline for the top

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:28

KaptainKrunk: Feb 6, 2006

Don Pigeon posted:

same

it's mentally exhausting to have to deal with these fuckin morons

and the rest of the people are worshipping dr. fauci when he's just your average experienced sensible doctor... feels very much like idiocracy

libs desperately crave Daddy Expert to tell them things are going to be okay. I am not sure of Dr. Birx's role but it seems so far to just not make either side very happy and to make optimistic projections so she can take the fall later when things are worse

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:28

Mayor Dave: Feb 20, 2009; Bernie the Snow Clown

snoo posted:

im so tired of this poo poo

Turn on your monitor

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:28

Mayor Dave: Feb 20, 2009; Bernie the Snow Clown

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:28

Good soup!: Nov 2, 2010

snoo posted:

im so tired of this poo poo

snoo posted:

im so tired of this poo poo

snoo posted:

im so tired of this poo poo

snoo posted:

im so tired of this poo poo

snoo posted:

im so tired of this poo poo

snoo posted:

im so tired of this poo poo

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:29

dew worm: Apr 20, 2019

Paramemetic posted:

NYC right now I'm seeing like 50/50 masks or no masks. Weather was nice yesterday so just a shitload of people were out. Lots of car and foot traffic relative to the last few days.

Overall though it's been quiet. People are holing up. It's wild to me to think that all these apartments and buildings are occupied because people are basically hiding.

Brooklyn has probably been the worst both in terms of people staying in and in terms of cardiac arrest call volume but I haven't gotten a Manhattan post and I've heard it's even worse still.

Cardiac arrest calls are on sale right now though. Lots of people waking up dead.

seems like a lot of people have skipped town as well

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:30

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

Steve Yun posted:

This is good, but I feel like it needs a good punchline for the top

Mayor Dave posted:

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:30

MorrisBae: Jan 18, 2020; by Athanatos

CODChimera posted:

I honestly don't think I could deal with people that deranged

Phones/TV/internet is the only thing keeping most people from rioting

The poison keeps us subdued

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:31

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Steve Yun posted:

This is good, but I feel like it needs a good punchline for the top

Beating off 9 times a day

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:31

CODChimera: Jan 29, 2009

SorePotato posted:

this is the top

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:32

Honky Mao: Dec 26, 2012

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:33

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Why do idiots always yuk up fine rifles?

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:33

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

PostNouveau posted:

Beating off 9 times a day

To Brad Pitt dressed as Anthony Fauci.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:33

Apraxin: Feb 22, 2006; General-Admiral

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/diorardor/status/1253823690787225601

i mean, yeah ok

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:34

Mackers: Jan 16, 2012

man i'm starting to get loving fat now hell with this

FREEDOOOM :bahgawd:

I should have made a home gym loving years ago but it was always "Why bother when there's a sweet rear end gym down the street" welp

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:37

WarEternal: Dec 26, 2010; Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Everyone in my town seemed to collectively decide to wear masks for 1 week and 1 week only. Cases are skyrocketing here but I guess a lot of people find the masks kinda annoying to wear so why even try?

Is this because lobsters are catching the roni?

it's because our entire state is restaurants and bullshit.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:37

COVID-420: Apr 21, 2020; Natural cures they don't want you to know about.

CODChimera posted:

literally no one knows what's going to happen

Come on bro this isn't true at all.

It's actually easy as hell to predict the future course of events in America. Here I'll do one:

"New COVID-19 infections and deaths will continue to rise in America until America adopts smarter policies: more strict lockdowns, national coordination, removing corruption from the medical procurement processes, kicking Kushner off the task force, White House officials wearings masks, etc."

100% guaranteed of that outcome.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 18:37