[Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

Dustcat: Jan 26, 2019

twoday posted:

So there are two ways I could go about this.

The first is the traditional way, getting a printer like Print Ninja, where I have to order a minimum of 250 books and pay upfront. It seems like the quality would be high, and it would be cheaper, but then I have to fork up several thousand dollars upfront (I am broke af and behind on rent so that's not really an option), and then I could sign them, and edit them by hand and do some other nice things to them. But besides the main problem with this of having to pay up front, there is another problem - that I don't know how many copies I would sell. So I might end up with either too few or too many. Another problem is shipping, this would make the shipping really expensive because I have to ship them from europe (18 to 24 euros per book).

The other option is to use a company like lulu, which is a bit more expensive per book (so I will make less money off of it unless I jack up the price), and I think the quality of the books will be slightly less nice, but they print on demand and then also ship the book (and also list it on sites like amazon and barnes and noble, lol), so the shipping is much cheaper because the books never pass through my hands. Then I can't sign them either, or do some other stuff I wanted to do to them.

Right now the second option seems like the easiest. But I guess I could make a kickstarter or something and try for the first option. Thoughts?

a kickstarter with a minimum viable target would make sense, just don't discount the labor and hassle involved in shipping too. maybe kickstarter could hook you up with a fulfillment service? if there's enough volume you might be able to ship the books to the us and then have the service mail them on to our american posters

you should find out from pancakes how many hats he ended up making, because that'll give you some idea how many books you might sell

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:31

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# ? May 20, 2024 04:43

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I guess the kickstarter itself would also give me a rough idea.

oh, and I got a scanner so I am starting to compile the final pdf that will go to print

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:34

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I'm looking at these fulfillment services and it seems like a viable option that would get rid of the pain and cost of shipping it myself, cool idea, thanks

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:44

Crusty Nutsack: Apr 21, 2005; SUCK LASER, COPPERS

Yeah you'd just have to take pre-orders for the first option. I don't know how kickstarter works in depth but it could just be as easy as posting your venmo or whatever here and doing it that way instead. I don't think people are too worried about being ripped off by you.

if you go with the first option, it might be feasible to ship a bunch to one or two people in the US who would then ship them out from here? would that work out to be less work and money for you? I'm not sure, just throwing that out there. books are loving heavy and that's always going to be a problem.

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:45

Gunshow Poophole: Sep 14, 2008; OMBUDSMAN
POSTERS LOCAL 42069; Clapping Larry

Kickstart it, IMO. That route allows you to throw out incentives to big backers that can help act as cover for the filthy capitalists among us, one of whom is definitely NOT me. Nope.

Dustcat posted:

a kickstarter with a minimum viable target would make sense, just don't discount the labor and hassle involved in shipping too. maybe kickstarter could hook you up with a fulfillment service? if there's enough volume you might be able to ship the books to the us and then have the service mail them on to our american posters

you should find out from pancakes how many hats he ended up making, because that'll give you some idea how many books you might sell

You could also parcel them out and distribute regionally to a spokegoon in the USA who can then distribute them to others nearby. I'd be willing to eat USPS costs to forward 20 books to others nearby.

Crusty Nutsack posted:

if you go with the first option, it might be feasible to ship a bunch to one or two people in the US who would then ship them out from here? would that work out to be less work and money for you? I'm not sure, just throwing that out there. books are loving heavy and that's always going to be a problem.

Yeah! ExActly!

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:47

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

twoday posted:

So there are two ways I could go about this.

The first is the traditional way, getting a printer like Print Ninja, where I have to order a minimum of 250 books and pay upfront. It seems like the quality would be high, and it would be cheaper, but then I have to fork up several thousand dollars upfront (I am broke af and behind on rent so that's not really an option), and then I could sign them, and edit them by hand and do some other nice things to them. But besides the main problem with this of having to pay up front, there is another problem - that I don't know how many copies I would sell. So I might end up with either too few or too many. Another problem is shipping, this would make the shipping really expensive because I have to ship them from europe (18 euros per book).

The other option is to use a company like lulu, which is a quite a bit more expensive per book (so I will make less money off of it unless I jack up the price), and I think the quality of the books will be slightly less nice, but they print on demand and then also ship the book (and also list it on sites like amazon and barnes and noble, lol), so the shipping is much cheaper because the books never pass through my hands. Then I can't sign them either, or do some other stuff I wanted to do to them.

Right now the second option seems like the easiest. But I guess I could make a kickstarter or something and try for the first option. If I do a kickstarter I can make tiers. For instance there was one goon who keeps offering me 200 bucks to make a handbound super fancy version, and I was thinking I could emboss a leather cover with the trump face and some nice leafing or something, really trump it up.

Thoughts?

If you do option one, absolutely do a kickstarter first, with a threshold high enough to comfortably cover all your costs and then some - with that kind of minimum order quantity, you don't want to get stuck with unsold inventory that you paid for out of pocket. Were you able to figure an estimate of the cost per book from Print Ninja? If you do that times 250, plus 18 euro times 250, plus X% percent for profit and unexpected surprise costs, does that get a number that a kickstarter campaign could plausibly hit?

Also, if you do tiers for fancy versions, have you checked that that 250 book minimum order quantity can be made up of different formats of the book, or is it a minimum of 250 per version of the book?

I'd love to get the fanciest, nicest version possible, but to be frank, option two is probably going to mean a lot less stress and risk for you. I'm lazy, so if I were in your shoes I'd probably lean towards that just to avoid the time and effort that comes with handling and shipping everything. (e: guess a fulfillment service could help with that but I don't know much about that.)

Have you considered selling a PDF version through something like gumroad.com, for folks who don't want or can't afford a print version? I'm still interested in a hard copy, but that could be a way to make a buck off it with even less hassle than lulu.

Blotto_Otter has issued a correction as of 23:02 on Jul 16, 2020

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:55

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Yeah, there are those fulfillment services, which kind of do that. I guess it might be better to get a goon to do it. But this does seem like a viable way to manage this.

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:56

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Blotto_Otter posted:

If you do option one, absolutely do a kickstarter first, with a threshold high enough to comfortably cover all your costs and then some - with that kind of minimum order quantity, you don't want to get stuck with unsold inventory that you paid for out of pocket. Were you able to figure an estimate of the cost per book from Print Ninja? If you do that times 250, plus 18 euro times 250, plus X% percent for profit and unexpected surprise costs, does that get a number that a kickstarter campaign could plausibly hit?

Yeah, given that numerous people have expressed a desire to have a super fancy one, I think it's possible. And if I get more money than I expect then I can use that to upgrade the basic version of the book, and thus redistribute the wealth of c-spam in that way so that all copies are pretty fancy (though I can still make some extra fancy)

Blotto_Otter posted:

Also, if you do tiers for fancy versions, have you checked that that 250 book minimum order quantity can be made up of different formats of the book, or is it a minimum of 250 per version of the book?

I haven't yet found a service that will do this, or any printers who are willing to print less than that amount, but I was watching a bunch of bookbinding youtubes during lockdown and have a bunch of the equipment needed to do it myself, so that's perhaps an option

Blotto_Otter posted:

Have you considered selling a PDF version through something like gumroad.com, for folks who don't want or can't afford a print version? I'm still interested in a hard copy, but that could be a way to make a buck off it with even less hassle than lulu.

From the OP:

twoday posted:

Publication:
There are a bunch of kickstarter-esque services that facilitate the printing of books on a small scale and I'll deal with that at the prudent juncture. I am not doing this for money. I will publish photos of every page of the book in this thread, because this will be a document created from C-SPAM, and I believe all C-SPAM users have a right to read it. If you have some money to spend and want to buy a printed copy, that's great, and helps us get into the Library of Congress, but I am not going to withhold any part of this book from the forums, in case there is someone who wants to read it but can't afford a printed copy.

I might also try to include some random swag poo poo with any printed copy, such as a bookmark or a poster or something.

twoday has issued a correction as of 23:05 on Jul 16, 2020

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:00

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

I would strongly recommend against releasing a PDF for purchase, I think this is an importantly physical artwork and you want as much mystery surrounding it as possible too if you're going to sell more than a few dozen to us goons.

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:03

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

mdemone posted:

I would strongly recommend against releasing a PDF for purchase, I think this is an importantly physical artwork and you want as much mystery surrounding it as possible too if you're going to sell more than a few dozen to us goons.

yeah, I have no interest in digital poo poo, I want this to be a physical book

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:05

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

Kickstarter is your best bet in conjunction with the first option imo but factor in what percentage they'll take as well. If Kickstarter doesn't work, fall back to option 2 maybe

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:06

Gunshow Poophole: Sep 14, 2008; OMBUDSMAN
POSTERS LOCAL 42069; Clapping Larry

mdemone posted:

I would strongly recommend against releasing a PDF for purchase, I think this is an importantly physical artwork and you want as much mystery surrounding it as possible too if you're going to sell more than a few dozen to us goons.

echoing this. the comradely spirit is appreciated, but the reciprocation thereof shouldn't be limited to posting, please let us get your back for the... days of entertainment this has provided

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:07

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

2DCAT posted:

If Kickstarter doesn't work, fall back to option 2 maybe

This is my plan now, thanks to everyone for this input.

Yeah, I just want it to be a nice physical book, I've spent so much time on it, I don't want it to be lovely at the end

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:08

Crusty Nutsack: Apr 21, 2005; SUCK LASER, COPPERS

twoday posted:

I haven't yet found a service that will do this, or any printers who are willing to print less than that amount, but I was watching a bunch of bookbinding youtubes during lockdown and have a bunch of the equipment needed to do it myself, so that's perhaps an option

if you go this route, I wouldn't offer more than like 5 of the hand bound special versions. because bookbinding is a real pain in the rear end, especially if you haven't done it before

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:09

Raine: Apr 30, 2013; ACCELERATIONIST SUPERDOOMER

get that kickstarter goin and we will throw money at you

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:26

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Funion posted:

get that kickstarter goin and we will throw money at you

# ? Jul 16, 2020 23:40

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

thinking about adding a tier to the kickstarter that costs $1000 called "tattoo," which involves me buying a tattoo gun, learning how to do tattoos, applying for a tattoo license, and giving the backer a tattoo if they come to the Netherlands

# ? Jul 17, 2020 00:04

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

twoday posted:

thinking about adding a tier to the kickstarter that costs $1000 called "tattoo," which involves me buying a tattoo gun, learning how to do tattoos, applying for a tattoo license, and giving the backer a tattoo if they come to the Netherlands

would

# ? Jul 17, 2020 00:42

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Book
$30
You will get a full color, hard cover copy of the Book of C-SPAM (with jacket).

Signed Book
$100
You will get a signed copy of the book and a random doodle.

Hand-bound Book
$200
You will get a signed copy of the book with a leather cover, embossed with an image of Trump's face in gold leaf on the cover. Vegan leather alternatives also available.

Book + Painting
$300
You will get a signed copy of the book. In addition, I will buy an old painting or print at a thrift store and paint some clever text on it, and ship it to you. An original "twoday" to hang in your foyer.

Book + Tattoo
$1000
You will get a signed copy of the book. In addition, I will buy a tattoo gun, learn how to do tattoos, acquire a tattoo license, make arrangements with a local tattoo studio, and give you a tattoo if you come to the Netherlands at your own expense.

Book + Remember Sailor Altar
$2500
You will get a signed copy of the book. In addition, I will take an wall-hanging altar from a French catholic church, and decorate the inside of it with nautical imagery, and then inside of it I will hang the original Remember Sailor block which I used to make the prints, and then later in desperation tossed into the ocean, only for it to return to me via a roundabout way of someone randomly finding it on the beach and tracking me down. The block will be clad in silver leaf.
Limited Quantity: 1

Book + Bronze Statue
$5000
You will get a signed copy of the book. In addition, I will sculpt a bust of Donald Trump eating an object of your choice out of clay and then have it cast in bronze. An excellent conversation piece for your parlor!

twoday has issued a correction as of 01:59 on Jul 17, 2020

# ? Jul 17, 2020 01:22

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

call me +1 for the hand-bound book version at $200, if you're informally surveying

# ? Jul 17, 2020 01:36

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

great! no worries, I will launch the kickstarter as soon as all the deets are approved, then people can place their orders that way

# ? Jul 17, 2020 01:40

Flavius Aetass: Mar 30, 2011

hnnngh i wish i had $2500

you've for drat sure got the $30 and possibly the $100 or $200 depending on how I'm doing at the time

# ? Jul 17, 2020 02:25

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I wish it would be less than $30 bucks but that seems reasonable given that it is full color and hard cover

It's not going to be that long either, probably 100 pages or so, but still seems expensive. These are rough estimates, I still need to look around at other printers and compare prices and such

# ? Jul 17, 2020 02:41

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

I would do the 300 one

# ? Jul 17, 2020 02:50

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

but really the 200 option because you don�t need extra work

# ? Jul 17, 2020 02:52

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

I would do the 300 one but really the 200 option because you don�t need extra work

No, that's the cool thing, I already have a bunch of those gathering dust in my attic:

twoday posted:

Some earlier works:

That last one is painted over another painting (that is a copy of a painting by a famous artist that was made by an unknown art student) that was made in the 1890s

I don't think I can part with the red one, it was my first painting, and it's quite special to me

twoday posted:

So, this one I found in a second hand shop, it has velvet in the frame and I added the text. I bought it because I thought it was so supremely hosed up, crying girl head floating in black surrounded by soft velvet and gold. I wanted an explanation for its existence and I looked up "crying child painting" and apparently paintings of crying young boys were popular in England in the 70's, and they are said to be cursed. The reason for this is that they were all made in the same factory and were covered with some kind of lacquer that was fire-resistant. So whenever a house burnt down, the string holding up the painting (or the wall itself) would burn up and the painting would fall facedown on the ground, with the image of the crying child perfectly preserved. Firefighters kept finding these in burnt down houses and started getting freaked out, thinking the paintings were cursed and that the paintings themselves started the fire.

No idea why this one was made though, I don't live in England. It's creepy as gently caress and currently hanging on a wall in my attic.

Quote is from here:

https://twitter.com/HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN/status/376424398023962624

twoday posted:

I also bought this one at a thrift shop. You can buy all kinds of hosed up old art for cheap at thrift shops. This one is a print (probably mass produced??) of an old man cradling a rifle and drinking wine while locking eyes with a small child. Why was this made? Who the gently caress would buy this and think, "yeah, that's something I want hanging above my couch." What the gently caress

I made up the quote. I made this one after making the big red one. I felt bad that everyone was saying it was so negative and depressing, so I wanted to make one that was more positive, and this was the best I could find. I think it's more neutral than positive. I like the way the letter is hidden behind the guy's shoe.

twoday has issued a correction as of 03:10 on Jul 17, 2020

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:03

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

hell yeah that�s what I want, the think about your life one is so good

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:09

Crusty Nutsack: Apr 21, 2005; SUCK LASER, COPPERS

twoday posted:

No, that's the cool thing, I already have a bunch of those gathering dust in my attic:

I don't think I can part with the red one, it was my first painting, and it's quite special to me

that blue one :allears:

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:12

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

deal

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:12

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I can make more of these too, I have a whole notebook full of clever quotes like this, this is what I used to do before starting the book

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:14

Pardot: Jul 25, 2001

yours will be the second kick starter i've ever kick started in my life

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:19

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

The text of the red one is a post from YOSPOS, it was a response to somebody who was having trouble setting up a modem, I painted it on top of a faded alpine landscape I literally found in the garbage, it's about one meter wide and hangs over my dining table

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:22

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Pardot posted:

yours will be the second kick starter i've ever kick started in my life

what was the first?

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:25

Pardot: Jul 25, 2001

twoday posted:

what was the first?

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/keyboardio/atreus little tiny computer keyboard. I met a long time ago the person who made the first kits where you'd have to solder them together, but i never wanted to do that, so when this came along, I figured i'd give it a shot.

Pardot has issued a correction as of 03:38 on Jul 17, 2020

# ? Jul 17, 2020 03:36

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

TREWQ!

# ? Jul 17, 2020 04:22

blacksocks: Feb 20, 2007

What would it even cost to mail a painting though. With the frame?

# ? Jul 17, 2020 05:55

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

blacksocks posted:

What would it even cost to mail a painting though. With the frame?

To America/Canada it would be somewhere between 40 and 100 bucks depending on the size, I factored it into the price, so there would be no further additional cost for shipping beyond the asking price of 300 bucks. If you live in Vanuatu or something, we might have to have a private talk about shipping costs though

twoday has issued a correction as of 06:39 on Jul 17, 2020

# ? Jul 17, 2020 06:34

Amp: Sep 10, 2010

Oh god dammit I�ve always wanted an original twoday

# ? Jul 17, 2020 10:55

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004

twoday posted:

TREWQ!

# ? Jul 17, 2020 13:14

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# ? May 20, 2024 04:43

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

twoday posted:

TREWQ!

# ? Jul 17, 2020 14:03

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