Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

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Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Despite that gigantic diesel that probably burns 1 gallon a mile, it has about the same torque-to-weight ratio as an SV650. And a power-to-weight ratio more than five times worse.

85 miles an hour lmao

# ? Jul 25, 2020 00:31

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# ? May 24, 2024 01:10

Guinness: Sep 15, 2004

Solar Coaster posted:

https://i.imgur.com/nVbkeqR.mp4

He leaves the back seat open for Jesus

# ? Jul 25, 2020 00:58

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Ror posted:

Oh my god that thing keeps on giving every time I look at it. And then I went to the website.

That thing weighs 5 tons. Oh, and the giant American flag attached to the "Never Forget" cross comes stock. I wish I knew what it said on his bumper ten commandments.

That poo poo tops out at 85? Hilarious.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 01:20

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

Ror posted:

Oh my god that thing keeps on giving every time I look at it. And then I went to the website.

That thing weighs 5 tons. Oh, and the giant American flag attached to the "Never Forget" cross comes stock. I wish I knew what it said on his bumper ten commandments.

How do you build something like that and not put foot pegs on it? That looks so uncomfortable.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 01:21

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

joat mon posted:

Given that the flag is attached to a giant chrome cross and the Calvary crosses are cut into the frame below the front seat, it's probably just the regular ten commandments.

You're right, they didn't look long enough to me but I found an article about it:

quote:

"I overbuild everything," Gesto said. "When I do anything it's overkill. If it takes a quarter-inch bolt I use a half-inch."

Despite all that power � more than 1,000 foot-pounds of torque � top speed on the prototype is limited to 84 mph by the transmission and gearing. Gesto said the production models will do 100 mph. "I don't think you should go faster than that anyway," he noted.

As if the Tower Trike weren't unusual enough, just for its dimensions, it also comes with some distinctive aesthetic flourishes, most obviously the tall cross on the back (Gesto notes it also functions as a rollbar) and the Ten Commandments inscribed on the rear. They are a testament to Gesto's faith and won't change on the production model.

"We're going to have the Ten Commandments and the cross on every trike," he said. "If somebody doesn't like them, they can cut them off."

He's selling them for $90k but I'm pretty sure he's just built one for himself and is saying he'll do it again if you give him a dumptruck of money. Oh wait jk, I wrote that before I saw in the article that he already sold seven of them, lmao.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 02:13

dissss: Nov 10, 2007; I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

Here's a cat fucking a squid.

I'm no expert but that doesn't look like the world's most effective 'rollbar'

# ? Jul 25, 2020 03:09

Uthor: Jul 9, 2006; Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.

"When I do anything it's overkill. If it takes a quarter-inch bolt I use a half-inch."

*shudders in engineer*

dissss posted:

I'm no expert but that doesn't look like the world's most effective 'rollbar'

Jesus is his roll bar.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 03:09

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

dissss posted:

I'm no expert but that doesn't look like the world's most effective 'rollbar'

Did your calculations include the Jesus saves constant?

# ? Jul 25, 2020 05:15

Snowy: Oct 6, 2010; A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense

Some cool proto punk from Birmingham around 1970, I love their name

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mizEp6K3GWE

# ? Jul 25, 2020 05:26

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Solar Coaster posted:

https://i.imgur.com/nVbkeqR.mp4

Wrong thread. Can I have mine in Mad Max livery?

# ? Jul 25, 2020 06:12

Olympic Mathlete: Feb 25, 2011

It's like someone saw President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho's trike in Idiocracy and thought it was too subtle.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 10:54

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Imagine being on top of such a huge machine without any safety devices.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 14:55

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Humphreys posted:

Imagine being on top of such a huge machine without any safety devices.

what are you a pussy

# ? Jul 25, 2020 14:57

randomidiot: May 12, 2006; by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 11 years!)

It has seat belts. :colbert:

# ? Jul 25, 2020 15:02

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Humphreys posted:

Imagine being on top of such a huge machine without any safety devices.

You fuckin sissy, he's got a helmet and the jesus roll bar.

Do YOU have a JESUS rollbar?

# ? Jul 25, 2020 15:28

Mr. Wiggles: Dec 1, 2003; We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

I will give it a few points for the Detroit Diesel, as I have a soft spot for those.

But I will subtract about a million points because, just, come on. What the hell is wrong with boomers?

# ? Jul 25, 2020 15:53

BigPaddy: Jun 30, 2008; That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.

STR posted:

It has seat belts.

Too safe for New Hampshire then.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 16:13

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Mr. Wiggles posted:

I will give it a few points for the Detroit Diesel, as I have a soft spot for those.

But I will subtract about a million points because, just, come on. What the hell is wrong with boomers?

can't be hosed to watch the video, what's in it? DD5? DD8?

# ? Jul 25, 2020 16:29

monsterzero: May 12, 2002; -=TOPGUN=-
Boys who love airplanes Boys who love boys; Lipstick Apathy

Humphreys posted:

Imagine being on top of such a huge machine without any safety devices.

Tbf, that�s the only bike that you wouldn�t have to worry about a car making a left in front of you.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 17:51

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

can't be hosed to watch the video, what's in it? DD5? DD8?

The only 6 to make 335hp is the 6V92TA

It's a 2 stroke

# ? Jul 25, 2020 18:59

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

lmao

# ? Jul 25, 2020 20:12

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Well I'm just impressed at the engineering that must have gone into that cross to make sure that it can function as a roll bar on a 10,000 pound vehicle!

# ? Jul 25, 2020 20:38

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Sagebrush posted:

Well I'm just impressed at the engineering that must have gone into that cross to make sure that it can function as a roll bar on a 10,000 pound vehicle!

Jesus will know and protect his own.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 21:22

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

Are there any three-wheelers that aren't terrible car stuff? I'm not even convinced a Morgan counts.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 22:37

angryrobots: Mar 31, 2005

Ror posted:

Are there any three-wheelers that aren't terrible car stuff? I'm not even convinced a Morgan counts.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 22:41

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

angryrobots posted:

As bad rear end as those were, they are still terrible car stuff. So many neck/spinal injuries. I grew up on those things (yes, you all know I'm an old) and gaddmn they are dangerous on slopes.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 23:08

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

those are great if you wanna die and not in a cool way

# ? Jul 25, 2020 23:11

angryrobots: Mar 31, 2005

And if you saw one out being used, you'd give yourself a neck injury doing a double take and you know it! :p

# ? Jul 25, 2020 23:18

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Ah, the three wheeler. The most common vehicle around lake communities in the late 70s early 80s.

# ? Jul 25, 2020 23:54

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

Some idiot saw the reliant robin and went "dying in a rollover sure looks fun, let's make it a sure thing."

# ? Jul 26, 2020 01:03

cursedshitbox: May 20, 2012; Your rear-end wont survive my hammering.; Fun Shoe

angryrobots posted:

I've got a buncha scars from crashing those loving things as a kid.

They're deathtraps, and absolutely own.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 01:55

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

angryrobots posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=657TZDHZqj4

# ? Jul 26, 2020 06:23

bonelessdongs: Jul 17, 2019

Solar Coaster posted:

https://i.imgur.com/nVbkeqR.mp4

Absolutely posted in the wrong thread

# ? Jul 26, 2020 06:44

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

bonelessdongs posted:

Absolutely posted in the wrong thread

Yeah, it's not a car.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 07:01

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Have to admit that video is perfectly shot.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 08:28

CAT INTERCEPTOR: Nov 9, 2004; Basically a male Margaret Thatcher

Solar Coaster posted:

https://i.imgur.com/nVbkeqR.mp4

This thing is so stupid it is awesome. Def wrong thread

# ? Jul 26, 2020 10:30

Not Wolverine: Jul 1, 2007

The back end actually looks kinda neat but the front end just looks wrong. Why does the frame have those two pokey bits behind the wheel? Does the wheel really have to have zero rake? Could any of the suspension bits on the front have been relocated up higher or more inboard?

I think something like this from https://www.v8trikekits.com looks more cool:

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:08

slidebite: Nov 6, 2005; Good egg

Not Wolverine posted:

The back end actually looks kinda neat but the front end just looks wrong. Why does the frame have those two pokey bits behind the wheel? Does the wheel really have to have zero rake? Could any of the suspension bits on the front have been relocated up higher or more inboard?

I think something like this from https://www.v8trikekits.com looks more cool:

I don't think you get answers other than "because" with a creation like that, but pretty sure the "pokey bits" behind the front wheel are literally just steps so the owner can clamber up the front for whatever reason.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:14

Throatwarbler: Nov 17, 2008; by vyelkin

The driver/rider appears to be wearing some kind of active hearing protection

# ? Jul 26, 2020 15:16

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# ? May 24, 2024 01:10

Not Wolverine: Jul 1, 2007

slidebite posted:

I don't think you get answers other than "because" with a creation like that, but pretty sure the "pokey bits" behind the front wheel are literally just steps so the owner can clamber up the front for whatever reason.

The chrome plated running boards hanging off of the front wheels, looks silly but might be a functional place to step. What I find weird (besides all of it) are the triangular pieces of the frame, right where the frame turns upwards, behind the front wheel.

# ? Jul 26, 2020 18:06

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

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