Absurd Alhazred posted:

Reminds me of that thread explaining the Command & Conquer franchise storyline(s??!!). Imagine I quoted every single post OP made in this thread:

Captain Hygiene posted:

g is stored in the falls

Lumpy the Cook posted:

Remember how Lowtax went on Vice dotcom and called you guys nazis and then called you all nazis in the announcements, and also called you nazis earlier today too?



Turns out he wasn’t actually calling you guys Nazis, he was only calling all you guys nazis, which is a different thing. Feel kinda bad for jumping down his throat over that I guess. Glad he cleared that up

yeah actually they will posted:

lowtax once again trying to claim ownership over a 19 year old

Beepity Boop posted:

How in the Hell did the Cold War not end in nuclear Hellfire.

Phobophilia posted:

within the many worlds hypothesis, i live in the universe which was not obliterated by nuclear hellfire

sneakyfrog posted:

yet.

Phobophilia posted:

and some variation of "me" will continue living in a universe that was not obliterated

Islam is the Lite Rock FM posted:

Maybe even one where your posts aren't poo poo!

Fender Anarchist posted:

multiverses diverge on possible outcomes

eating only apples posted:

The Elenium, David Eddings

(has to be. Sparhawk - holy knight, thief kid - Talon hangs out with the squire whose name I can't recall, Flute the mute girl who turns out to be a goddess at the end of the second book, there probably was a haunted castle and a spear but the troll was the Gollum ripoff)

All of this is probably the Ruby Knight book specifically, the second book in the series, it was my first Eddings and I think most of this happens in it

e: oh there definitely was a bad castle in the second book, the one with the evil countess whose servant walled her up until she starved to death. And Talen is actually Kurik's kid. It's all coming back to me. I only reread this series a few years ago, shows how forgettable it is

Sesquiculus posted:

It's the Garfield of fantasy novels. You know how Jim Davis, when he set out to create Garfield, decided to very deliberately create something marketable and comfortable rather than actually entertaining? Yeah. David Eddings decided to start writing fantasy after he found a copy of the Lord of the Rings in a bookstore, was shocked to discover it was still in print, and decided there was money to be made there.

But anyway I agree, this is definitely the Elenium trilogy.

TommyGun85 posted:

Thats the one. I know you mention how forgettable it is, are his other books worth a read?

eating only apples posted:

Eh, once you've read one series you've basically read them all. They're easy though and entertaining enough, I have a big soft spot for the Elenium despite its... uncomfortable bits

Selachian posted:

You've read one Eddings book, you've read them all. (edit: also, as you can see above, if you've read one post about Eddings, you've read them all.) Literally, he recycles plot points wholesale from one series to the next.

Also, Eddings and his wife both spent time in prison for child abuse -- although they're both dead now, so you won't be putting money in their pockets if you do choose to buy their books.

That said, I liked the Belgariad back when I was a teenager, but I soured on him when the Sparhawk books came out because the repetition was just so blatant.

Runcible Cat posted:

They're all basically identical, so if you find one inoffensive light reading you'll probably find the rest the same, until your mind cracks from the repetition and you leap screaming from the window.

Ed: I would say efb, but in this context we're obviously just doing a bit about those books.

(efbeaten on that too)

Sesquiculus posted:

It's the Garfield of fantasy novels.

RFC2324 posted:

All that is true, but ignores the fact that eddings openly recycled plot point from one book to the next on the same drat series. Like, books 3 and 4 of the malloreon are the exact same book in a slightly different setting.

Hes the DM that only knows inns and goblin caves. There might be so e differences from adventure to adventure, but you know some ale is gonna be drank and some goblins are going to bleed

Splicer posted:

In the forward to belgarath's book he explicitly states this.

RFC2324 posted:

I will say his forward/author's notes were pretty useful for budding authors, since he did do world building well, even if he was poo poo at everything else

Spazzle posted:

In 30 years jerry brown will rule the state again. We will dimly remember he had previously ruled. It has always been thus.

Still Dismal posted:

Yeah, Jerry cannot die, but the price of this immortality is that he must always remain involved in California politics.

The Cubelodyte posted:

We could and have done a lot worse.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

If your state's politician with a phylactery is Jerry Brown you're doing pretty good, all things considered.

Wicked Them Beats posted:

What if Jerry Brown is Feinstein's phylactery

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Fuuuuuuck

CopperHound posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

World builder, child beater...

Kenning posted:

For non-Californians, Jerry Brown is our basically well-liked former governor who was also governor in the 80s, and Dianne Feinstein is our detested ancient conservative democratic senator.

Rando posted:

to make a world you gotta break a few eddings

Splicer posted:

In the forward to belgarath's book he explicitly states this.

Arivia posted:

it's actually in the rivan codex, one of the essays is his formula for putting together fantasy series

Splicer posted:

Might be in both? I don't think I've ever read the codex but I distinctly remember reading his fantasy series formula in the forward to a book.

Kenning posted:

For non-Californians, Jerry Brown is our basically well-liked former governor who was also governor in the 80s, and Dianne Feinstein is our detested ancient conservative democratic senator.

Kokpuncher posted:

Maybe I'm just getting older but I'm kinda thinking of settling down...

I often, like on a daily basis shave my neckbeard, bed-head my hair with that metrosexual hair putty poo poo and pretend to be interested and engaged in their boring chatter enough to score insecure party girls on a regular basis.

I certainly do like the vag, not so must the rest of the woman, but definately the vag, enough that I now want to keep one close by at all times because this dressing up and pretending to be interested in what they are saying poo poo is getting boring.

There is this chick that keeps texting me about how much she wants to be with me and whatnot, so I might "recruit" her and get her to pay a chunk of my rent but I'm not crazy about the idea that she is going to be hanging around after sex, wanting my attention and demanding stupid gifts and poo poo from time to time under threat of retracting my vagina access.

Should I just dump her when she starts getting demanding or should I stick it out and bend to her whims too? Is there anything except sex that a relationship will get me? I'm not lonely or broody or anything like that, I just want to gently caress, regularly.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Cacafuego posted:

Well, his aura smiles and never frowns

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

That kid emotes so well, I am almost convinced he actually killed his deck mate.

Edit: Not Jerry “The Unburied” Brown; the little kid who didn’t show up in the quote.

Kenning posted:

I'm pretty sure I've laugh out loud almost every time the "little kid who knows he must kill but wishes he didn't" photo comes up.

RFC2324 posted:

He discussed it in his authors notes as early as the malloreon

Jedit posted:

In both of Eddings' sequel series it's explicitly stated within the narrative why events from the first series keep happening again. In the Malloreon it's because the universe is stuck in an endless loop due to a cosmic accident which the Necessities are trying to resolve, and in the Tamuli it's because the Gods are obsessed with symmetry.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.

Solice Kirsk posted:

There was a pretty great photoshop thread with him.

Crusty Nutsack posted:

THEY'RE STEALING A TESLA

lmao

Junpei posted:

does that make it an Edison, technically

90s Cringe Rock posted:

smash mouth's mouth is to powerful to be contained by masks unfortunately

smash mouth do not eat the coronavirus

Battery in the Out posted:

Most of my best music was written while on some sort of illegal substance.

Battery in the Out posted:

Wow, this thread turned out the exact way I thought it would. It's just the same as every thread I've ever made on any forum asking people for feedback.

BIG SURPRISE THERE!

All internet forums are essentially the same. They're just a bunch of people hiding behind masks of insecurity and belittling people that they disagree with or have a different opinion than.

Some of the posters in this thread REALLY need to learn how to spell some words and use proper grammar.

It's whatever, really, most of the stuff said in this thread. I've read every post and have taken in the words and have considered and thought about EVERY SINGLE loving THING EVERYONE HAS SAID.

But it doesn't matter, because people I talk to on the internet never like my music, and people I know in real life do.

What happens on the internet really doesn't matter to me at all.

It's a good place to get feedback and stuff from a wider variety of people, but due to the fact that everyone on ANY online forum is doing is hiding behind their computer screen and saying things that they probably wouldn't say in real life.

And I hope most of you WOULD say these things to my face. I'd respect you all more than I already do.

But there's a LOT of bullshit in this thread, made by me and EVERY OTHER POSTER.

Seriously, people, I appreciate everything you're telling me and AM taking the criticism. You might not think I am, but guess what, you're wrong.

And none of you are telling me anything I haven't already heard about my music.

I've heard it all.

That it's good and that it's bad.

Obviously, I want people to like my music and love it when they do, but could really not care less if ANYONE, much less a bunch of people from the internet that I'll never meet, hates my music. It's my music, it IS artwork. It IS an artform. Of the lo-fi variety.

Anything that takes creativity and talent to make can potentially be artwork, regardless of what some of you people have said.

And to say some of the poo poo you've said...well...you don't even know me? Like, at all! Everything you think about me is just based on my post history, which doesn't even include very many posts.

So, yeah. You guys can keep this thread alive if you want, but I'm done with it after this post.

I feel that it is a very lovely thread now. It started out as a normal loving thread with some guy just wanting some loving feedback.

But it turned into a carbon copy of every other thread I have EVER made asking ANYONE what they thought about my music. A bunch of people hating it and not really giving feedback, but telling me the music sucks, that I'm going to go nowhere, and, well, one person said it's not art.

DO YOU HAVE A loving BRAIN, SIR?!

DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT ART IS?!

That must have been the case, because, and I apologize, but my music IS an artform. Drawing, writing, making music, all of these things ARE artforms.

Man, I can't get over how lovely this thread is.

And the fact that I'm the one that started it.

I usually try to make good threads and worthwhile posts, but anytime I ask for feedback on my music on ANY forum, it turns out the EXACT SAME WAY AS THIS ONE.

So, I've heard it all before. Everything you guys have said, none of it is anything new. NONE OF IT.

And honestly, it doesn't matter to me if anyone here hates my music OR likes my music. It's my music, it's my art, it's MY LIFE, and I WILL get somewhere with this music if I keep practicing and getting better.

Say what you want, but the words I'm saying aren't just a matter of opinion or perspective, really. They're absolute fact. (But, that IS just from my perspective.)

Anyway, I don't really know what else to say here. I've said my peace, I'll walk away. Again, continue posting in this thread if you have more things to say about my music, but after this post I'm finished with it.

fakeedit: People who actually like my music and want copies of my albums or mp3's: I can't get you the albums, I don't have all the mp3's anymore, but I do have some of them. I can get you mp3's, but I cannot get you hard physical copies of my albums OR t-shirts or anything. That will come in time.

If you're interested in my music and want to hear more that's not on my Myspace, send me an email at tonyprovinzano@gmail.com. I'll try my hardest to fulfill your wants, but I can't promise anything.

Alright. Post over. WISHFUL THINKING TIME! Thread over.

I doubt I'll be the one to kill this thread, but I wish I was.

This thread needs to die. Slowly and painfully, like a French whore with a bayonet stuck up her rear end, pushed all the way through her body to her brain.

Again, I'm done with this thread. I'm not posting in it anymore.

NOW IT'S THE END OF THE POST, ACTUALLY!

realedit: Still the same post, so this is fine. One guy said I was pretentious...LIKE THAT'S A loving BAD THING?!

Yes. I am pretentious. I know who and what I am and am okay with it. Jesus, people...some of you seriously need to grow up and accept the fact that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE AND EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT BELIEF SYSTEM.

realedit2: I'm going to defend you guys. You're all better people than most of the people on the other forums I've posted on, and Something Awful is probably the best online forums I've ever been a member of. But I just can't get over the fact that people on online forums LOVE BELITTLING PEOPLE THAT THEY DISAGREE WITH! It's loving funny. How predictable you are. It really makes me laugh out loud, because I knew for a fact that this thread would turn out the way it did. I don't even know why I made it. Oh yeah, actually, I do. Because I wanted some fuckin' feedback. I got exactly what I wanted and was looking to get out of this thread quite a while ago, and have tried being cooperative and understanding with you people. I've responded to your posts, acting pretty adultlike, with MY thoughts and what IIIIII think. And you still don't tell me anything new. Some guy gave me a link to a site with some good software that will definitely make my art even better than it already is. Yeah, I said it. So I really appreciate that. And I really appreciate every post in this thread. But some of you just have your heads up your asses and don't seem to have any idea what you're talking about, from my perspective.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

But why specify that the whore is French? I feel like this is some albino monk secret code poo poo.

EorayMel posted:

Huge loving funny forums quote™ incoming, but it is worth it.

First, a context quote that sets the stage:


Now here is said goon reacting to getting feedback on some of the goon's best music while high on some sort of illegal substance, absolutely shocked upon being told that the music is not actually good or cool.


And then the very same goon returned with a new artistic masterpiece, this time taking on writing poetry instead of writing music, and caught the attention of the mods...

Baron von Eevl posted:

This guy turned out to be Deadmau5, didn't he?

Battery in the Out posted:

My god, this thread is just loving humourous now. Every single thing I read is so loving wrong. You say I'm not listening, but I think you're either a. completely ignoring my posts, or b. not reading them at all.

Oh wait, points a. and b. are the same thing.

Not listening?! OBVIOUSLY! YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO TEXT UNLESS IT'S AN AUDIOBOOK!

But. I have been READING every single word in this entire loving thread.

I seriously have read and given thought to and considered everything that you guys have told me to do.

Just because I don't want to do it, you make all of these loving assumptions that make you seem so out of touch with reality that I seriously cannot stop laughing at every single post. That's a good thing.

I've given up on getting feedback, I just keep coming to this thread and reading it to see what backwards rear end and bizarre things are going to come out of peoples' mouths next.

Haha, keep up the good work, SA posters. You're making me laugh with your sheer idiocy and YOUR ignorance.

Me? Ignorant? How much do any of you know about me besides the things I've posted in this thread and other threads on Something Awful?

Nothing. I'm seriously read every single word that's been written in this thread. And "listened" to everything that's been said to me. I just haven't agreed with it all...Jebus Ghrist!

When did I say any of you were losers, Cemetry Gator (Smiths reference? I hope so.)? I actually said I respected all of you and that I appreciated all of your words, kind or unkind.

Hahahahahaha, I mean seriously, double you tee eff to this thread, man. Double you tee loving eff. You guys keep posting in it with less and less feedback, and more and more derailment.

For some reason, I always thought people would get like...instantly banned for derailing a thread on Something Awful.

But now I see that is not the case.

I like these forums. I'm gonna stick around for a while.

I mean, I'll probably never make another thread about my music because it's going to turn out exactly like this thread, which loving sucks now, by the way, and I really don't understand why it's still alive, but wuteva. No skin off my nose.

I'm beyond hope? Hahahahaha, what the gently caress? Nobody's beyond hope! Everyone has a chance to make something of themselves if they just loving try!

Do you think I really care what your thesis adviser did to you? Because I really couldn't care less, man. I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just telling it like it is.

"In 5 easy steps:
1. Stop taking it personally.
2. Don't dismiss harsh criticism as being mean.
3. See if the person provided a rationale for their harsh criticism, and if not, ask for it. Then read it. And try and understand what the person is saying.
4. Reevaluate your work with what you've gotten in mind.
5. Change the stuff that you agree with, and if you disagree with criticism, then defend it and don't change it.

In other words: Don't be this guy."

Bahahahahahahahahahaha, I have done and still do these things EVERY SINGLE loving DAY.

And why the gently caress shouldn't anyone be like me? I'm actually pretty cool. That has nothing to do with the ego or the id, it's just my perspective.

I'm not even loving trying to hear or post anything about my music anymore.

I'm just interested in seeing how derailed this thread can possibly get.

And what people are going to say about me next.

Because not a single thing that's been said about me here is true, from my perspective, AT ALL!

Like I said, this is a really funny thread now. It's seriously cracking my poo poo up. Not because you guys are particularly funny or anything, but because you're acting like you've known me for years when I just started posting here regularly within the past month or two.

Hahahahahahahaha, I really can't stop laughing at it.

WHEN'S IT GON' END, LORD WHEN'S IT GON' BE MY TURN

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

https://twitter.com/edsbs/status/1292887303531175939