What are old threads you think about every once in a while?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What are old threads you think about every once in a while?

LuckyCat: Jul 26, 2007; Grimey Drawer

The CAD mock threads I remember fondly. The hardest I�ve ever laughed I think in my life was from one of those threads. I forget the poster and I think the image is lost to waffleimages but someone posted a long comic that you had to scroll down to get to the end and it wasn�t particularly notable, but the very bottom of the CAD comic the poster had added in Barney Rubble flickering spastically and I almost died.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 02:41

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# ? May 16, 2024 12:29

Deki: May 12, 2008; It's Hammer Time!

The demon rush thread was great.

The crimson haze thread was amazing too. Some random guy bought an SA account to try to crowdsource an entire mmo from volunteer goon labor.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:01

Incelshok Na: Jul 2, 2020; by Hand Knit

The whole goon love saga was amazing. Several sexual assaults and one murder before it got shut down. It also established the precedents that both dying and murder are bannable offenses. It wasn't one thread but it was very "velvet underground" where it spawned a thousand threads.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:08

Sleeveless: Dec 25, 2014; by Pragmatica

Deki posted:

The demon rush thread was great.

The guy is still making games twelve years later, he's moved from 2d to 3d but they're still in that really amateurish style and still fixated on taking place in Canada. Somehow he got onto Playstation's marketplace and a ton of youtubers have mocked his games so he's kind of (in)famous now in the same way that people like Mdickie are.

http://www.dragoon.ca/games.html

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:15

Incelshok Na: Jul 2, 2020; by Hand Knit

Sleeveless posted:

The guy is still making games twelve years later, he's moved from 2d to 3d but they're still in that really amateurish style and still fixated on taking place in Canada. Somehow he got onto Playstation's marketplace and a ton of youtubers have mocked his games so he's kind of (in)famous now in the same way that people like Mdickie are.

http://www.dragoon.ca/games.html

On the plus side, dude seemed to have found work in Korea because his Dragoon is a dead-ringer for Tongtong from Pororo in his dragon form. Distinct from his normal form, which is a dragon wearing clothing if you are behind the times on the highest quality children's entertainment.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:27

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

the threads in gbs where they were telling obvious lies about their lives but they were good story tellers.

also the thread where the guy told the story about the ant colony and his girl friend stealing them

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:28

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

snergle posted:

the threads in gbs where they were telling obvious lies about their lives but they were good story tellers.

Angry Bee Dance and Joey Vapes were basically doing that around the same time and both of them ended up completely losing the thread of it after a little while, as is the way of forums superstars. Joey Vape�s �Post your moments of WHAT THE CHRIST� thread was fun for a while though.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:44

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Guildenstern Mother posted:

There was an amazing thread back during the second bush administration that was goons posting libertarian fictions. I think it was in response to some weird Glen Beck liberatopia idea. Also the Ultimate Necromancer. I'll be playing games and every now and again the phrase "your robe look like a dishrag goddamn" pops into my head. Still haven't found it. I think it was in whatever forum impzone used to be.

I think I still have a PDF of a bunch of goon-written seasteading fiction, like Tales From Sealand or something. It had some pretty funny stuff in it

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:59

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

QuarkJets posted:

I think I still have a PDF of a bunch of goon-written seasteading fiction, like Tales From Sealand or something. It had some pretty funny stuff in it

On Golden Seas, I think it was called.

E:foundthe ebook!

https://www.scribd.com/document/146160537/In-Golden-Waters-Tales-From-the-Seastead

Ugly In The Morning fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Sep 10, 2020

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:07

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Plant MONSTER. posted:

I shared that thread with my circle and they weren't nearly as tickled by it as I was.

It helped that it was out of NOWHERE in its original context but also your friends are lame because that story is so loving good

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:10

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

QuarkJets posted:

I think I still have a PDF of a bunch of goon-written seasteading fiction, like Tales From Sealand or something. It had some pretty funny stuff in it

You wouldn't want to maybe share that up on drive would you? The ebook link needs a scribd account

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:40

Velisarius: Nov 1, 2009

I'm disgusting and have bad hygeine habits.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2919822&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Velisarius fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Sep 28, 2020

# ? Sep 10, 2020 06:38

Not Skynet: Jul 10, 2012

Guildenstern Mother posted:

There was an amazing thread back during the second bush administration that was goons posting libertarian fictions. I think it was in response to some weird Glen Beck liberatopia idea. Also the Ultimate Necromancer. I'll be playing games and every now and again the phrase "your robe look like a dishrag goddamn" pops into my head. Still haven't found it. I think it was in whatever forum impzone used to be.

This reminds me of the "Patriot Fiction" let's reads in TFR. I think one took place in the post apocalyptic wasteland of Obama's america. Kind of like an even more racist and masturbatory Tom Clancy.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 10:16

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Not Skynet posted:

This reminds me of the "Patriot Fiction" let's reads in TFR. I think one took place in the post apocalyptic wasteland of Obama's america. Kind of like an even more racist and masturbatory Tom Clancy.

This also reminds me of this one GBS thread where the OP found a whole bunch of pages from some guy's unfinished bootleg Tom Clancy war novel in a garage sale, talking about how the protagonist had a dick as thick as a hand grenade(or a pineapple, either or) while rawdogging some spy lady and how the enemy Russian he was engaging shortly after had thick swollen beet-like fingers.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 16:00

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

It's not a thread but every so often I think about one goon giving an in-depth explanation on how Peggy Hill was dominating the meta of a mobile game.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 16:47

Leroy Dennui: Aug 9, 2014; Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones

-That thread about the goon who ate his dead roommate's beef
-Cumming on pigeons

# ? Sep 10, 2020 20:56

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

I recall a thread where a goon let us know that he managed to get another man hosed in the rear end. Yes.

He was talking to his female coworker, who said that she and her husband liked to use a strap on (I guess they had quite the casual work relationship). The goon asked her if she enjoyed loving her husband in the rear end. The woman was shocked, she'd never thought of that before. Apparently the husband had been using it on her after he was spent in order to finish her off. The woman said she now wanted to try that on her husband. The next day she informed him that her husband quite enjoyed it.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 21:42

other people: Jun 27, 2004; Associate Christ

Leroy Dennui posted:

-That thread about the goon who ate his dead roommate's beef
-Cumming on pigeons

# ? Sep 10, 2020 21:59

Anne Frank Funk: Nov 4, 2008

Peter Madsen has apparently admitted to brutally murdering and dismembering Kim Wall in a recent interview, and so I dug up this old thing: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3829904

I leave you with my opus magnum on the subject.

Subplot subterfuge!
Submits submariner:
"Sub subdued, subdivided
sub-curious subject."

# ? Sep 10, 2020 22:03

Leroy Dennui: Aug 9, 2014; Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones

Leroy Dennui posted:

No, seriously, it's an old classic.

Erik's still out there providing classes on Internet Comment Etiquette.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 02:34

Mr. Bones: Jan 2, 2011; ain't no law says a skeleton can't play the blues

Sleeveless posted:

Tony Tango. Years ago in CineD a guy who registered seemingly to promote his own film created a thread about Tony Tango, an upcoming movie he was starring in where the entire joke was that he was fat but he could dance and everyone thought he was sexy.

Does anybody have a link to the original Tony Tango thread? I can't seem to find it by searching the forums

# ? Sep 11, 2020 02:51

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Who What Now posted:

It's not a thread but every so often I think about one goon giving an in-depth explanation on how Peggy Hill was dominating the meta of a mobile game.

can you find this please

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:31

Leroy Dennui: Aug 9, 2014; Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones

Waffle! posted:

Whatever happened to that Goon website where you could link it a youtube video and it would play on an old tv right before getting smashed with a sledgehammer?

Erik's still out there providing classes on Internet Comment Etiquette.

Oh man, had no idea this was the same dude.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:37

LonesomeCrowdedWest: May 8, 2008

Who What Now posted:

It's not a thread but every so often I think about one goon giving an in-depth explanation on how Peggy Hill was dominating the meta of a mobile game.

This reminds me of some truck nerd making a super in depth post about Hank Hill's trucks. I forget exactly what it entailed but it was very thorough and I think it concluded with him figuring out the make and model of the trucks? Or maybe it was the opposite and the trucks couldn't exist irl or something like that? Anyone remember this?

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:43

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Plant MONSTER. posted:

can you find this please

Sadly I'm bad at working google, but the app was Animation Throwdown and it was probably in the still running KOTH thread somewhere.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:44

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

Leroy Dennui posted:

No, seriously, it's an old classic.

thank you. I've been wondering for years where this went. I just watched them all and cried laughing again.

this thread reminded me of the existence of the thread where everybody mocked without surcease a very very bad webcomic about a bear who couldn't get ginger ale. I think the creator sent a legal threat:

https://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop-phriday/bear-ginger-ale/1/

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:55

Dr.Smasher: Nov 27, 2002; Cyberpunk 1987

Sometimes I wonder how new forums member Airdisc is doing

# ? Sep 11, 2020 05:31

Septic Knothead: Jul 23, 2009; Boris S Wart
The Second Meanest Man In The World

LonesomeCrowdedWest posted:

This reminds me of some truck nerd making a super in depth post about Hank Hill's trucks. I forget exactly what it entailed but it was very thorough and I think it concluded with him figuring out the make and model of the trucks? Or maybe it was the opposite and the trucks couldn't exist irl or something like that? Anyone remember this?

I can provide no additional info, but yes, I absolutely remember this.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 23:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Literally A Person posted:

There was some thread, I don't even remember what it was honestly, in which Pick drew some truly grotesque pictures of like tail-anuses or something and though I don't think of the thread often those pencil drawings haunt me in my sleep.

he's referring to me having some sport in the "What's the weirdest thing you've ever cranked one out to" thread

Pick posted:

We have to begin in history with a simple question: Why do cats poop in secret ways?

The answer: because they do not have wiener in the back.

Though it is important to cats to spray to express their whereabouts, their precise control is restricted to the pfft-pfft-pfft of the little spraycan.

If the cat had availed itself of an evolutionary pooping wiener, it could move beyond the oft-hidden tumble turds and instead possess a marker to match the whizz.

If humans had such a tube, to control the poop and where it was deposited, it would be much to our advantage. See FIGURE 1.

FIGURE 1.

This is a tube, like the toy water willy, that connects to the "traditional anus area" and then translocates the anus to the end of the flesh passage. See FIGURE 2.

FIGURE 2.

The spinal column is not in this tube. It operates by the same mechanisms as the trunk of an elephant, but as it is the submissive orientation, the "receptive alignment", it is weak. There is smooth muscle in the intestinal wall, and there is muscle in the sphincter, but largely, the appendage hangs. The human arm/hand can hygienically maneuver the poop tube and ensure poop is deposited according to owner preferences. See FIGURE 3.

FIGURE 3.

We must now explore the cultural dimension of the poop tube. Obviously, the civilized man would not leave something so indicative of his "animal plight" unmarred. Furthermore, there is the matter of "stimulation" of the "receptive alignment". The prostate, as noted, is a warm button of fatty jelly housed in the taint. So for the aggressive whizz-wiener to command the button and unleash the heat, the length of the poop tube must be roughly equivalent to the length of the penis.

This is not the natural configuration. The poop tube must be truncated. See FIGURE 4.

FIGURE 4.

This produces a ring of scar tissue, and the turds tumble out aimlessly. This is a gesture of trust.

Naturally, inserting the penis, roughly, into a tube which has lost the natural protection of its giving sphincter, means there will be tears. Tears mean blood, and tears mean scabs. Excessive scabbing and scar tissue is indicative of a partner who is "sexually excessive" in either force (causing lacerations and abrasions which are punishing to the weak flesh of the poop tube) or in the demands of his schedule (not allowing for tissue to heal, and possibly causing infections and improper oozing). However, a neglected rim suggests a receptive partner who is unappealing, or that it entertains a weak or lackadaisical penis.

The correct amount of sexual wear-and-tear causes few scabs that heal and flake. This creates a gleaming rim of fresh, shining skin (the skin you see under a scab). This, the ring of the poop tube is like the sugar of a margarita, catching the light, inviting with a tease. A modest man can keep his tube as such.

Of course, the poop tube is truncated to the necessary length for the corresponding penis of the partner. Otherwise, the penis will not reach its intended target, or the jelly-button will be jammed to excess.

If the poop tube is kept long, it is evidence that the recipient keeps BIG HOG company. See FIGURE 5.

FIGURE 5.

Therefore, the one with a very short tube, barely a lip, is configured for the smallest penis only (everyone will know!), and his poop will tumble near his buttcheeks. Remember that this can, and would be, and should be, disgusting to anyone, and that we only tolerate our very pooping hole living among the rump because God himself has willed it so.

Meanwhile, the one with a truncated poop tube that is long and wrecked, is someone who obviously DEMANDS a companion who is hulking and artless. It is vulgar. And to see a partner with a torn, dangling rim on the end of a loose, flapping hose, is a matter of disgust, and theirs will be a tattered flag of abandoned pleasures.

Anyone whose poop tube suggests "deviant proportions" would be known and they would know it themselves, as they directed their poop to the repository, their hand on their dishonor.

Surely there are skeptics who will fail to extol my shiny anus worldbuilding, however, it distills the essence of sex.

e: typo

# ? Sep 12, 2020 03:09

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Pick posted:

he's referring to me having some sport in the "What's the weirdest thing you've ever cranked one out to" thread

# ? Sep 12, 2020 03:21

Incelshok Na: Jul 2, 2020; by Hand Knit

My inverted anus

Will you make a prolapse with me?

My inverted anus

I can't do a pa-ro-dy.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 03:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Pastry of the Year posted:

I swear to god I click on the worst loving threads and I know I'm doing it while I'm doing it

# ? Sep 12, 2020 05:06

Rectal Death Adept: Jun 20, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

demlols

it was one of the funniest threads of the past five years and the fact that it can't exist while 63 separate trump mock threads do is a crime against comedy

# ? Sep 12, 2020 05:20

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

Assboat

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Sep 12, 2020 06:12

Ghost of Babyhead: Jun 28, 2008; Grimey Drawer

Edward Mass posted:

Microbe - he�s the best!

came here to post this

# ? Sep 12, 2020 10:27

mr_jolly: Aug 20, 2003; Not so jolly now

That thread about the really bad horror writer, nicklaus something or other where someone used to taunt him about being so bad.c

Edit: it was nickolaus pacione and the threads were by autoaim.cfg

mr_jolly fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Sep 12, 2020

# ? Sep 12, 2020 21:10

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

mr_jolly posted:

That thread about the really bad horror writer, nicklaus something or other where someone used to taunt him about being so bad.

This thread?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2931645&perpage=40&noseen=1

# ? Sep 12, 2020 21:16

mr_jolly: Aug 20, 2003; Not so jolly now

Ugly In The Morning posted:

This thread?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2931645&perpage=40&noseen=1

That's the one! I think there may have been another thread which has long since been deleted where autoaim phoned him and recorded his calls, I used to think they were pretty funny back in the day.

I'm a bit older now though and hope Nicky is okay

# ? Sep 12, 2020 21:33

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# ? May 16, 2024 12:29

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Mooey Cow posted:

It's not that old, but sometimes I remember that Patton Oswald is a vicious mass murderer.

When the MeToo stuff first broke and during the parade of celebrities getting outted as sex creeps and rapists one dude kept predicting John Hodgman would be the next one every single page and that he would be one of the worst one by far. There weren't any evidence or even rumors. It was just based on his vibe.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 21:45

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