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Cafe Barbarian posted:I pretty much learned to read a book by reading the Hobbit with my mom. I thought that I read Piers Anthony back in the day but it turned out it was this book Master of the Five Magics by Lyndon Hardy: I remember that book, mostly vague on the story but the more systematic approach to magic stuck with me. I didn't realize there was a series of those books - looking at the titles it's possible I read the second and was underwhelmed enough to drop it, but I'm not sure.
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Sep 13, 2020 22:21
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if Piers Anthony is as open to fans as he claims, someone should really ask him what the gently caress was with that chunk of Firefly with the pedophile, and see if it was just edgy mental flatulence or if he was actually completely serious
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Sep 13, 2020 22:22
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sebmojo posted:Just thinking about that 'taur  his name was the maulotaur cause i guess he was a minotaur who mauled you
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Sep 13, 2020 22:23
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Mods change my name to Tyler Do'Urden
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Sep 13, 2020 22:35
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NC Wyeth Death Cult posted:They tried to warn you by naming it "Advanced Dungeons and Dragons" but you didn't listen. gently caress sebmojo posted:1e dmg is basically outsider art this is variously more accurate than I could have come up with and holy poo poo
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Sep 13, 2020 23:03
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juggalo baby coffin posted:
tch maxotaur was right there
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Sep 13, 2020 23:19
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I think I'm lucky because I'm completely unable to do anything besides take every word at face value on anything i read. I knew very early that i didn't have any interest in good books and only liked to read stupid trash that required no thought or effort so when you couple that with what you might think of as "fundamental gullibility" it makes me quite able to enjoy the most awful books and also elevates something like riftwar or belgariad into a transcendent work I read lot of discussion about gross piers Anthony books but i didn't see anyone being up the battle circle books, could i hear some opinions on those, please?
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Sep 14, 2020 00:22
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Galewolf posted:Those snake head whips are a nightmare in combat to go against as they bite for 1d4 each with poison so you can get hosed up in single round. Y'know though, in real life it seems like a snake head whip is a bad idea, I mean given how whips operate the snakes wouldn't have time to bite you unless you gently laid the whip on the dude If they didn't have their necks broken during the use phase that is
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Sep 14, 2020 01:07
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Slippery posted:Y'know though, in real life it seems like a snake head whip is a bad idea, I mean given how whips operate the snakes wouldn't have time to bite you unless you gently laid the whip on the dude
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Sep 14, 2020 01:12
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VideoTapir posted:Every third BBS user in the 90s went by Drizzt or Raistlin. This is pretty much true I was Dixie Flatline, lol Look I was a kid it.was a long time ago
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Sep 14, 2020 03:04
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there wolf posted:Wait this reminds me, did anyone every read any of the MythAdeventure books? They were like a slightly less creepy Xanth. I just thought of it because the girl in them was named Tanda, T-and-a, get it? Oh my god I read a bunch of those as a kid and I never caught that Ugh
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Sep 14, 2020 03:06
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super sweet best pal posted:Mods change my name to Tyler Do'Urden Pro tier name imo
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Sep 14, 2020 03:08
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WeedlordGoku69 posted:if Piers Anthony is as open to fans as he claims, someone should really ask him what the gently caress was with that chunk of Firefly with the pedophile, and see if it was just edgy mental flatulence or if he was actually completely serious I just assume immediately at the first sign of something fishy that I'm dealing with a hardcore pedophile who cannot WAIT to tell me their sexkill fantasy and god drat if it isn't an infallible system
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Sep 14, 2020 03:40
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sebmojo posted:Just thinking about that 'taur
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Sep 14, 2020 04:29
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Anyone else read the Guardians of the Flame series by Joel Rosenberg? Apparently there's like ten books in the series, but young me was only aware of the first five. A bunch of college students are playing an RPG run by their professor. Then one night *BAM* they are all magically transported into the world of the game and into the bodies of their characters. The kindly professor is really an evil wizard from that world! ... yes, really. And then a couple of female characters get gangraped until they're catatonic. So the heroes decide to end slavery? I stuck with the five books despite all of that, but man I can't imagine adult me ever getting past the cringe factor of all that.
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Sep 14, 2020 06:02
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overseer07 posted:Anyone else read the Guardians of the Flame series by Joel Rosenberg? Apparently there's like ten books in the series, but young me was only aware of the first five. That cover looks familiar but if I read it then I have no recollection of it.
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Sep 14, 2020 06:26
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CaptainSarcastic posted:That cover looks familiar but if I read it then I have no recollection of it. Oh god I read the first four of these. 
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Sep 14, 2020 07:51
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SerialKilldeer posted:Piers Anthony also wrote a tetralogy called the Mode Series which features travel between different dimensions. There's a dimension where all women wear diapers, and a wizard guy from there arrives on earth and is scandalized by the heroine's tight jeans. The narration takes every opportunity to mention how shocked, shocked he is by her immodest attire, and the phrase "genital contours" is used. Then there's another different dimension where everyone wears color-coded underwear. Apparently one of the later books has human-on-horse sex and also a catgirl named Pussy, but I dropped it after the first two. The canonical backstory for centaurs in the Xanth books is that three human men drank of a love spring and the first thing each saw was their mare. The guy definitely has a thing for horses.
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Sep 14, 2020 08:01
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overseer07 posted:Anyone else read the Guardians of the Flame series by Joel Rosenberg? Apparently there's like ten books in the series, but young me was only aware of the first five. the first book was very generic, but that they decided to use that as a springboard for an anti-slavery crusade was neat. however, later books went nowhere. it's one of those series where i have no interest in re-reading it and destroying my fond teenage memories.
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Sep 14, 2020 09:33
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there wolf posted:Wait this reminds me, did anyone every read any of the MythAdeventure books? They were like a slightly less creepy Xanth. I just thought of it because the girl in them was named Tanda, T-and-a, get it? I legit never noticed that. Reread a few. I think I am done. They are really dumb.
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Sep 14, 2020 10:13
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Narnia is a stupid boring garbage world
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Sep 14, 2020 11:54
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Five decent books out of seven puts Narnia way ahead of most of this thread.
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Sep 14, 2020 11:57
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Silver chair owns
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Sep 14, 2020 12:01
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I can vouch for Narnia being amazing when you're 4. One benefit is that you don't have the context to be annoyed by how extremely christian it all is. Silver Chair was my favorite.
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Sep 14, 2020 12:47
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I remember liking The Horse and His Boy when I was a kid, but I'm told that's the Racist Tropes About Arabs installment, so I probably shouldn't revisit it.
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Sep 14, 2020 12:53
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Rascar Capac posted:I remember liking The Horse and His Boy when I was a kid, but I'm told that's the Racist Tropes About Arabs installment, so I probably shouldn't revisit it. The Chronicles of Narnia are worth revisiting. I read all of them at least 3 times when I was a kid because they were Approved Christian Literature, but I didn't have any context. Re-reading them as an adult (and an atheist), all the heavy-handed writing, all the middle class English prejudices, all of Lewis's neuroses come through. The movies were fun, though. Speaking of Christian (or adjacent) literature: Orson Scott Card. Read nearly everything of his as a teenager, and got my family into it. Most of it doesn't hold up. Was reminded of the Alvin Maker series, which rambled on for (7?) books without any ending...or much of a consistent plot. Card couldn't decide if he wanted to write fantasy, tall tales, or alternate history, so he crammed them all into the series. The setting is...odd. It's 19th century alt-America, but magic is real, and everyone's name is creatively misspelled. There's some overarching plot about the Joseph Smith stand-in, Alvin, getting super-magick-hax (he can do White people, Red people, AND Black people magic!) which makes him a Maker, but they never explain what a Maker is, or does, cause Card has more alt-history characters with wacky names to introduce! The story winds up being "Alvin tours the setting, gets Unfairly Persecuted for being Always Right, does some magic, whoops we ran out of pages come back next book where maybe we'll advance the plot."
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Sep 14, 2020 16:14
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Cobalt-60 posted:The Chronicles of Narnia are worth revisiting. I read all of them at least 3 times when I was a kid because they were Approved Christian Literature, but I didn't have any context. Re-reading them as an adult (and an atheist), all the heavy-handed writing, all the middle class English prejudices, all of Lewis's neuroses come through. The movies were fun, though. By the different colors is that different races? Is your magic determined by your loving race? Can he do them all because hes mixed?
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Sep 14, 2020 19:18
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never read any Narnia or Orson's stuff either, hearing about Ender's Game as a kid did nothing to interest me, and I'm glad I missed out on some self-loathing pedophile's child soldier fantasy
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Sep 14, 2020 19:22
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It was worth reading enders game to read speaker, but I dont know of reading speaker was worth reading the rest of them
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Sep 14, 2020 19:40
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ender's game is just catcher in the space rye
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Sep 14, 2020 21:31
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I can’t say enough about how much I love this thread, because I read all this trash as a kid and loved it. The Dragonlance Prologue somebody mentioned earlier about Kitiara on the moon was a personal favorite, for sure. Nothing in that book made sense yet I probably read it 4 times.
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Sep 14, 2020 23:46
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A kender stole my last gold coin And Kitiara's on the moon And then draconians punched my groin And Kitiara's on the moon
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Sep 15, 2020 00:04
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gently caress Kitiara, she was an rear end
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Sep 15, 2020 02:29
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The thing that bugged me about Dragonlance was how the DnD alignment and spell systems were part of the story in a way that drew the reader out of the stories. I didn't play DnD (unless you count some of the video games) but quickly realized they were describing game mechanics. The mage needs to memorize spells and sleep in order to cast them. People are obsessed with good, evil, and neutrality like they are allegiances they declared. I don't remember them describing characters failing or succeeding at things in terms of dice rolls but wouldn't be surprised if it was in there and I assumed it was a metaphor.
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Sep 15, 2020 03:04
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You can thank that piece of poo poo Vance for most of that tbh
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Sep 15, 2020 03:06
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I wish the goddamn alignment moons crashed into one another and hosed up the concept of good and evil so badly that kender all die and elves all realize what completely uninteresting twats they are
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Sep 15, 2020 03:08
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ElectroMagneticJosh posted:The thing that bugged me about Dragonlance was how the DnD alignment and spell systems were part of the story in a way that drew the reader out of the stories. I didn't play DnD (unless you count some of the video games) but quickly realized they were describing game mechanics.
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Sep 15, 2020 03:10
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Hell is way more fun if it's also ambiguous and fluid in uncomfortable and unexpected ways
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Sep 15, 2020 03:14
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ElectroMagneticJosh posted:The thing that bugged me about Dragonlance was how the DnD alignment and spell systems were part of the story in a way that drew the reader out of the stories. I didn't play DnD (unless you count some of the video games) but quickly realized they were describing game mechanics. That stuff didnt bother me as a kid, I just figured that spells were physically/mentally taxing and magically sort of popped out of your head after use. It was a little weird but no weirder than there being magic in the first place
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Sep 15, 2020 03:22
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Black August posted:Hell is way more fun if it's also ambiguous and fluid in uncomfortable and unexpected ways I always liked Fallen London's devils that were probably some sort of bees packed into people-shaped suits and where Hell was just a place extremely free from the laws of things like 'time' and 'causation' and nobody actually knows why they trade for souls because they don't seem to do anything with them.
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Sep 15, 2020 03:24
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