PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Agent (7)47

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Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Yestermoment posted:

A quote for every thread, now that the sale went through and I don't live in fear of :banhammer: for it:

gently caress Lowtax, that broke neck piece of poo poo loser.

EorayMel posted:

Requote/repost

Arrhythmia posted:
CONGLATURATION !!!

YOU HAVE BOUGHT
A GREAT FORUM.

AND PROOVED THE JUSTICE
OF OUR CULTURE.

NOW GO AND REST OUR
WEBMASTER !

Saving these from the bottom of the page

# ? Oct 10, 2020 01:40

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# ? May 22, 2024 15:17

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

hot dogs

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 10, 2020 02:27

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Paladinus posted:

Nevermind I'm done with this site after all

# ? Oct 10, 2020 02:32

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Cesar Cedeno posted:

There are already top secret civilian facilities in the US working on this.

The shed to the left contains WMD's biased on the latest classified intelligence.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 10, 2020 03:21

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

ikanreed posted:

I've been continuing to tool around with AI aided simpsons shitposts, and while I have haven't yet gotten my algorithms to where they do what I want, this in-between artifact representing the average color change over time in the 411 scene looked really cool.

popewiles posted:

# ? Oct 10, 2020 05:28

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

EorayMel posted:

Unban this poster immediately.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 05:45

Happy Thread: Jul 10, 2005; by Fluffdaddy; Plaster Town Cop

seattle plague rat posted:

unfortunately for chris christie when he is intubated & blown up like a baloon medicinally his large size makes it likely that he will simply bust at the seams and do what the medical community call 'pop like a fried pizza roll'

# ? Oct 10, 2020 05:56

bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

Yestermoment posted:

A quote for every thread, now that the sale went through and I don't live in fear of :banhammer: for it:

gently caress Lowtax, that broke neck piece of poo poo loser.

coward

# ? Oct 10, 2020 07:10

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Bringing back the classic

Malign posted back in 2000 or 2001:
Richard,
It seems I have underestimated your ability to fail. For that, I apologize. Not to you, but to the people who would enjoyed seeing me tearing your little world apart just that much more. It's a shame, really, that you ignored all of my warnings. Perhaps, if you had just a few brain cells left that weren't circling the bowl, you would have realized how pointless and counterproductive this whole thing was and quit a long time ago. This little venture of yours has failed on every level. On a personal level, for example, have you noticed that the very people you profess to hate have infested your site? They are utterly devoid of reason, their minds deluded with lies and ignorance. Their perceptions are hard-coded in a language they will never understand. Yet, these empty shells have flocked here, and what's even more amusing about it is, they emulate you. They've taken the worst things about you, namely your personality and humor, and twisted it into something far more repugnant than even you are capable of being. One bad joke becomes one thousand hideous hybrids, and it spreads like a virus. This is your audience, Richard, and they love you. That isn't very important, though. I am sure you don't care, as long as they're lined up at the trough. What is important, however, is this.

I would guess that you take as much enjoyment as anyone might at seeing these ridiculous business models fail like the insane fantasies they were. The pseudo reality of Internet commerce has finally been perceived for what it is, and the only people left are those who were lucky, smart or both. Now, being exposed to so much talk of this, for what, like over a loving year now, have you ever stopped to consider how you ever came to the conclusion that a parasite like yourself could possibly hope to survive in this environment? The corporate tit is gone, and you are completely incapable of surviving on your own. You think these failed companies had stupid business models? How about yours? I knew the advertising market was going to collapse years ago, because it's based on the assumption that banners are effective. Think about it.. You are entirely dependant on advertising.. yet, the people you try to attract are people who aren't going to click on, let alone buy whatever stupid crap that is being advertised. I am sure most of the clicks you have gotten have been sympathy clicks. Did you actually think that it was going to last forever? Everybody knows it doesn't loving work, and most sites have to beg their readers to click, just to pay the server bill. Did you think corporations weren't going to notice that no one was buying their products? You're an idiot, Richard, and I sincerely mean that. The contemptuously stupid decisions you made regarding the various networks you joined don't matter at all because the entire idea was flawed from the start. Enjoy your last moments as a free man. You'll soon be shovelling poo poo for the rest of your life at some nameless corporation, a vacant look forever etched upon your face.

Years from now, when you're no better off than when you started, when it finally hits you that it's all been nothing but a wasted lie, think of me. Think of me, Richard, and when you do, realize that I was the only beacon of logic and truth in this sad menagerie. You seem predestined for failure, however, so I doubt there is anything one can do for you. Just remember, when the joy is gone, when you're clawing at the boundaries of your little world, you always had a choice.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 17:48

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

bell jar posted:

coward

Nah it actually made sense in this rare case, because that :10bux:

would have just gone back to Lowtax. Now rereg fees ostensibly go to the site/Jeffrey.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 18:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Matlack Radio posted:

# ? Oct 10, 2020 21:44

Moo the cow: Apr 30, 2020

Ugly In The Morning posted:

What was Worcester, MA named for? I hope it�s something that ties into it being a godawful shithole.

Play posted:

Definitely sounds like old English so probably just named after some random English town

Outrail posted:

Do you have a sauce for that?

# ? Oct 11, 2020 12:20

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

IronClaymore posted:

Today on Extremely Mundane Adventures in a medical laboratory, I go on an epic quest!

I arrived in the laboratory in good time, expecting to once again do battle against our deadly foe with the power of mystical vaccine science. However, when I arrived, the people were in an uproar.
"Help us!" they cried, "Our supply of magical cold is nearly depleted, and as you know the only supply is in the deep catacombs. But the vertical teleportation box is not working. It does not answer our summons!"
"Fear not, good people," I replied, "Rumours persist of a secret passage between the main hospital building and our catacombs. I shall go on a great quest to find this hidden marvel, and return with the magical cold."
"Hurry please, sire, for without magical cold our serum samples shall surely thaw!"
"Shall I accompany you?" asked a young squire.
"Nay," said I, "I need you to stay here and centrifuge these blood tubes."
And with that, I departed on my mission.

When I entered the main hospital, my way was immediately blocked by two nurses and a guard.
"Halt!" said one of the nurses, "You may go no further, unless you answer my riddles three, also I need to take your temperature."
"Very well, I'm not afraid," said I.
"Riddle the first," she said, holding an IR thermometer at my neck, "Have you been in close contact with any confirmed cases?"
"Nay."
"Second, are you awaiting any test results?"
"Nay."
"Third, do you work at any other health care facilities?"
"Nay."
"You have answered our questions well, brave laboratory technician, and may pass. I shall anoint your garments with this sacred smiley face sticker that all may know you have our blessing."
"Thank you. But now a question of my own. Do you know of the secret passage between the catacombs and the main hospital?"
"I know not of such things," she replied, "But if you keep going this way to the main reception and then turn left you'll find the security office. The ogre there will guide your path further. Farewell!"

I journeyed forth, and soon located the ogre guard, and told him of my quest.
"Yes," said he, "There is a passage. Travel down these stairs behind me to the hospital underdark. There the maintenance goblins shall show you the path. But be warned! The secret passage is guarded by a magic door that only opens to the one who possesses the blue key."
"I have the blue key," I said, pointing at my security pass.
"Oh ok, you should be fine. Have a good one!"

Down the stairs I went, to the hospital underdark, the domain of those hardworking subterranean folk who keep the hospital running. I soon espied three of them, at a junction of three identical tunnels, and told them of my quest.
"Yes yes!" said one, "I know well of what you seek. Follow me, I shall show you the way, yes yes!"
I followed the maintenance goblin through one of the otherwise identical tunnels, and soon found the area we were in to be familiar.
"Through there is the magic door to the catacombs, yes yes," said the goblin.
"Thank you."
"And I shall tell you a goblin secret! This other tunnel up here leads directly to the main hospital lift shaf...I mean vertical teleportation boxes. If you come this way again you should be able to save much time on your journeys."

I said farewell to the goblin and ventured forth. My blue key opened the magic door, and I was finally in the catacombs. I soon espied the great blue treasure chest, and when I opened it was greeted with a glorious sight. For it was full to the brim with the driest of ice, our source of magical cold!
When I returned to the laboratory there was much rejoicing. "Our samples are saved!" the people shouted. "We can continue our battle against the deadly virus!"
For my efforts, my liege rewarded me with a full day's pay (which is what I would have received anyway), enough to purchase much ale.

And that is literally the most exciting thing that's happened here all week.

# ? Oct 11, 2020 13:49

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

I am going to assume this ancient quote is fair to post here.

jipsiisback posted:

You all tried too run me off of youtube, and stickam guess what morons I got FEATURED.I would truly like to have logical conversation with alot of you ,but you are all a bunch of nerd fuckery morons..You trolled me and lost how does defeat taste bitches?..I own you all and Lotax the clown.Just to prove I am featured on youtube here is the proof http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0YRVqeJ31I also you handing out my phone #'s what a joke you all are here they are bitches you want a second beat down?1-416-883-3385 1-416-871-0170Tries also to troll my stickam room you are all full of fail inface EPIC FAIL http://www.stickam.com/profile/jipsiville

bring it on fuckers let's go 1-416-883-3385 I have tracked over a dozen of your Ip's and will contact the local authorities and shut down this site

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 11, 2020 16:13

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Pretty disappointed the YouTube video doesn't exist anymore.

# ? Oct 11, 2020 16:30

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

crazyellowbuppy posted:

LadyAmbien posted:

Toad on a Roll posted:

NOW IT�S A FUCKIN PARTY

edit: love that neither of you are wearing shoes

# ? Oct 11, 2020 17:16

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

From the same thread ...

LadyAmbien posted:

Why are you still here?

Mrs. Sexual posted:
Hold up a newspaper

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 11, 2020 17:17

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

From the same thread ...

[/quote]

You missed this

The Saddest Rhino posted:

# ? Oct 11, 2020 18:25

TheHomerTax: Dec 26, 2012; That's a high quality avatar right there.

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

Why does a Yahtzee die need boobs?

Platystemon posted:

I�ve heard of dice stacked in one�s favour, but this is ridiculous.

SiKboy posted:

Traditionally Yahtzee does come with a dice cup. This version its apparently a D.

# ? Oct 11, 2020 23:58

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

TheHomerTax posted:

# ? Oct 12, 2020 01:00

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

extra row of teeth posted:

Someone got a boner during that King of the Hill episode where Bobby was like THAT'S MY PURSE but needed to involve Sonic somehow because they always loving do

# ? Oct 12, 2020 01:55

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

TheHomerTax posted:

Why does Yahtzee die need boobs?

My brain is now saying this in the same way Kirk be like "What does God... need with a starship?"

# ? Oct 12, 2020 06:59

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

My brain is now saying this in the same way Kirk be like "What does God... need with a starship?"

The answer to both is loving weird non-humans.

# ? Oct 12, 2020 07:25

Fantastic Foreskin: Jan 6, 2013; A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

Having just seen the same ad, I wish I had thought this:

Dr Christmas posted:

I got a Trump ad on the top of the YouTube home page warning that Biden and Harris are going to “cancel” you.

It’s awesome that in a historic pandemic and economic crisis, the campaign of the party in power is based on their social media posts aren’t getting enough likes.

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Good thing no Americans have been cancelled under Trump’s watch

# ? Oct 12, 2020 16:13

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

NienNunb posted:

Can we get baseball hats that FYAD or GBS on them again like it's 2003

EDIT: can we have a Goon Con again

https://youtu.be/pjEHMioicDg

Geemer posted:

Pretty sure we already got conned enough.

# ? Oct 12, 2020 19:47

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

OwlFancier posted:

No a lot of birds of prey can do that, they hover in the wind.

ArcMage posted:

Seen in a lot of marine birds, who sometimes just need to be in the air for a month; huge energy savings, often energy profits. Why flap if you don't need to?

Solice Kirsk posted:

No Flap November.

# ? Oct 12, 2020 21:57

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

Lmao

# ? Oct 13, 2020 08:14

DigitalRaven: Oct 9, 2012

Bob Morales posted:

I just buy a $59 brother at Staples every time I want to print.

Super Soaker Party! posted:

Dude I don't know how to tell you this but slavery became illegal like 150 years ago. Jesus Christ.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 20:24

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Richard Pryor�s The Desktop Publishing Appliance.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 21:06

The Maestro: Feb 21, 2006

DigitalRaven posted:

Lmfao he was probated for that? Worth it

# ? Oct 13, 2020 21:14

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

Immediately followed by a white noiser saying how good it is that he got punished

It's almost comforting to know these forums will continue to suck without lowtax

# ? Oct 13, 2020 22:20

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Some thing you just don't joke about. Like Spam emails. That poo poo is serious business.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 22:27

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

The Maestro posted:

Lmfao he was probated for that? Worth it

Internet Explorer is trying hard to be the new Moon Slayer when it comes to arbitrary probes.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 22:42

The Maestro: Feb 21, 2006

Captain Monkey posted:

Internet Explorer is trying hard to be the new Moon Slayer when it comes to arbitrary probes.

It�s very funny that the mod�s reasoning was that black people (in tech) wouldn�t like to be reminded about the history of enslavement wrought upon them.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 22:47

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Moon Slayer's not a mod anymore? I missed that. He wasn't awful, but definitely a bit all over the place.

I see sweeperbravo's a mod now. Think that's a good pick, I've never seen her be lovely.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 23:06

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

The Maestro posted:

Lmfao he was probated for that? Worth it

Immediately demod anyone who opines on whether a joke, "needed to be made," please and thank you.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 23:38

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Phlegmish posted:

Moon Slayer's not a mod anymore? I missed that. He wasn't awful, but definitely a bit all over the place.

I see sweeperbravo's a mod now. Think that's a good pick, I've never seen her be lovely.

I dunno. But check out the SHSC job thread�s last page for IE being hilariously inept.

# ? Oct 13, 2020 23:39

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Patrick Spens posted:

Immediately demod anyone who opines on whether a joke, "needed to be made," please and thank you.

Especially if they're asking it to your parents

# ? Oct 13, 2020 23:40

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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Phlegmish posted:

I see sweeperbravo's a mod now. Think that's a good pick, I've never seen her be lovely.

Oh so you�ve never seen a single post ever by her?

# ? Oct 14, 2020 02:51

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# ? May 22, 2024 15:17

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

I kid I kid. I recommended her for the position after turning it down for the 6th time.

# ? Oct 14, 2020 02:52

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