uber_stoat posted:

Empty Sandwich posted:

when you take your first bite
and a lizard's inside
that's anole

Silver Alicorn posted:

ok so what do yall think of the sex blimp in the hydrogen sonata then

infernal machines posted:

your mother was in hydrogen sonata?

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

At this point just retitle this thread PYF Anything But Funny Forums Quotes.

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

Context Iain M Banks writing entire sections of unnecessarily weird poo poo into his books:

Ingwit posted:

jonestown started because someone stole jim jones ride-on mower

Help Im Alive posted:

The only wikis you can trust are the donkey kong and silent hill wikis

Simone Magus posted:

You do NOT wanna go down the Silent Hill Wiki Rabbithole

Baller Time posted:

Wrong place if you are looking for tips, I hear

Looper posted:

great if you're looking for short cuts though

3D Megadoodoo posted:

A channel called SubTV (formerly TVTV) here showed those extremely camp German 60s softcore comedy musical porn movies one year and they were really popular.

EorayMel posted:

turd in my singlet posted:

https://i.imgur.com/bb4lEcn.mp4

PERMACAV 50 posted:

fizzymercy posted:

He could save you 15% or more on car insurance but he couldn't save himself.

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

i do usually operate my electronics while wearing a welding mask and 7mil neoprene gloves covered in gear oil and fish guts so that might be a contributing factor

Jonny 290 posted:

yeah i like watching tv after sex too

Hodgepodge posted:

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

For anyone not already familiar, the crying woman was wiping her tears with a handkerchief containing a very poorly concealed onion.

Trevor Hale posted:

Which is apparently a home remedy no matter how shady it looks

https://www.bostonglobe.com/business/2011/10/23/what-relationship-there-between-onions-and-tear-gas/YOHOiOICqyIggLR78z3C3H/story.html

quote:

There are claims that holding a cut onion near the eyes and nose helps protect them from tear gas. But whether this is true is uncertain, and if it is true, the chemistry involved is not clear. I once walked through the remnants of tear gas cloud in Peru, well after a protest had cleared out, and it was not fun. I would keep away from any variety of tear gas.

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

ambien can do a lot of crazy poo poo. like, it’s the reason i got banned from the coupons forum for posts asking for “strawberry casserole” recipes.

the next morning i woke up and my blender was straight up broken, strawberry smoothie spatter was all over the kitchen, and there was a casserole dish in the oven filled with strawberry smoothie, which I thankfully did not actually turn on before going back to bed.

i don’t remember doing ANY of that.

i still didn’t post racist things tho!

World War Mammories posted:

dammit you made me think that ingwit was posting again. his ultimate hustler iliad is the best thing these dead gay forums have ever produced

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A TAZER INTO MY BALLS. ITS SEDITION AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, DONALD J TRUMP. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME LIB BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY DIED TAZING MY BALLS LIKE THE GUY ON THE NEWS. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY OFFICE AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE TWEETS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng

Hodgepodge posted:

believing this sort of crap is sort of their wheelhouse. otoh someone can believe or claim to believe this and still use the onion to fake tears and that sort of thing is also extremely their wheelhouse.

i'm a little sympathetic if it isn't being faked because something like that can be legit traumatic and many of these people had no idea what they were messing with. in this case it wasn't so bad compared to say, the lady who got basically just executed or even just the guy who accidentally tazed his balls until his heart gave in.

President Beep posted:

is fintech like findom?

Babies Getting Rabies posted:

no. findom tends to pay women well.

Solice Kirsk posted:

What's the list of people that are universally loved? Fred Rogers, Weird Al, LeVar Burton. I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of at the moment.

Paladinus posted:

Your mum. She's a good woman.

TK-42-1 posted:

It’s true. I love her daily.

flavor.flv posted:

And I, nightly

Hodgepodge posted:

believing this sort of crap is sort of their wheelhouse. otoh someone can believe or claim to believe this and still use the onion to fake tears and that sort of thing is also extremely their wheelhouse.

i'm a little sympathetic if it isn't being faked because something like that can be legit traumatic and many of these people had no idea what they were messing with. in this case it wasn't so bad compared to say, the lady who got basically just executed or even just the guy who accidentally tazed his balls until his heart gave in.

The Maestro posted:

If you feel any sympathy for them then buddy you put the simp and the pathetic in sympathetic

Do Not Fear Jazz posted:

Not acceptable with a cat, not acceptable with a bat, not acceptable in a box, not acceptable with a fox! We do not use those terrible slurs, next time please use different words! User loses posting privileges for 6 hours.

rideANDxORdie posted:

I tazed my balls today
to try and stop the steal
I focus on the pain/
ting of Tip O'Neill

World War Mammories posted:

dammit you made me think that ingwit was posting again. his ultimate hustler iliad is the best thing these dead gay forums have ever produced

Clitch posted:

Clitch posted:

Clitch posted:

Ugly In The Morning posted:

There’s one I’ve been trying to find again that was like

“TO THE WINDOOOOW
TO THE WALLS
GONNA DIE TAZING MY BALLS”

KingKapalone posted:

Can someone please outbid me on this? I decided to just buy one for $50 so that it would ship faster. Just bid more than $44 so I don't win please. https://www.ebay.com/itm/Demons-Souls-PS5-NEW-SEALED-/284139888348?_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49292

I'm surprised these are dropping in price so much already. Got the new spiderman for $37 too.

scary ghost dog posted:

done

KingKapalone posted:

Thanks but looks like I'm still winning?

scary ghost dog posted:

my mistake, i thought i was bidding on that game but i accidentally bid $1200 on a custom samurai sword.

veni veni veni posted:

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qmi2w7KXUR1ystss4.mp4

Carthag Tuek posted:

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

Someone stole all of AOC's shoes.

President Beep posted:

Qanon Tarantino

Gridlocked posted:

My grandmother once lost like somewhere between half mill and a mill on the pokies before she went insane and died.

Not joking, I went through her bank books while we were putting her into a home. She was withdrawing like $20 - $30k a week to play at a local club.

bird with big dick posted:

How do you know she was losing it on poker maybe she had a second secret family she was giving it to or maybe she was paying gigolos to run trains on her

Colonel Cancer posted:

Sooo casinos is MMOs for people who occasionally gently caress, got it

Hedenius posted:

https://twitter.com/yourpalchauncey/status/1348748483424116743?s=20

more falafel please posted:

who cares? they're poly i guess?

Lobok posted:

Well now their triangle is poly gone.

Captain Monkey posted:

Ah, the infamous polyQle.