3D Megadoodoo posted:

I'm kind of curious as to what the gently caress constitutes an "obnoxious tree" and how the gently caress that affects a kid's playhouse.

Outrail posted:

The giving tree, but with pitchforks and tiki torches.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Before the bottom guy got braces, you see guys pull their teeth into ponytails, but they don't. That's what he did.

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Guy in the Mrm thread gets confused by a meme about braces, posts a word sallad asking if it's about particle physics. This is a reply:

Kenny Logins posted:

drat fine pull and it's great every time it comes up

wizzardstaff posted:

Technically to qualify as a chest freezer all it needs to fit is half a torso.

GoldStandardConure posted:

I am prepared though as I always carry my mask and full stillsuit with me wherever I go.

Eediot Jedi posted:

Muad'Dweeb.

Splicer posted:

I ran across a full frontal nude of Donald Trump which showed he had no genitals. I wasn't surprised because your genitals falling off is a standard part of being POTUS. I then realised this was why Barack always emphasised that he'd talked long and hard with Michelle before he ran for president because if he won she'd be married to a guy with no junk. The ex-POTUSes all hang out together because nobody else understands what it's like to have your genitals fall off from being president.

tl;dr don't read The Strain and binge on political news before bed (also don't read the strain it's bad).

The Grimace posted:

lol imagine putting all of your faith in a creature that's just a guy in a big purple suit

Danaru posted:

This is going in the book of grudges I'm not taking this kind of sass from a continent

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Karia posted:

The worst thing about this chart is how close the background is to the beautiful golden quote marker, so I got a little bit of the high of being quoted only to be immediately crushed by the truth that I'm a bad poster.

Oxxidation posted:

and on the first day

Outrail posted:

Organza Quiz posted:

This is the better one, a housecat can put a person in hospital with a single bite. They're cool cause they could kill us without breaking a sweat and choose to tolerate our bullshit instead.

Regarde Aduck posted:

You could kill a cat in a single bite if you wanted.

Milo and POTUS posted:

They scratch one of us, we bite one of them. They bite one of us, we send one of theirs to the vet

ultrafilter posted:

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/NtpGc44.mp4

Mauser posted:

Good visual representation of how a rectum works i don't know anything about muscles

koshmar posted:

Even better, you've got a sphincter muscle in your eye too.

owl_pellet posted:

The Detector posted:

Some of you may have read the thread I made earlier in the week. To sum things up, my girlfriend discovered a few unsavory habits of mine. We got into an argument with both of us saying things we probably didn't mean, and she left me. I came to these forums for advice and, because of a large number of reasons, some pretty severe drama broke out. Really, I think a lot of it was in my wording, so I acknowledge that it was, in some ways, my fault.

Anyway, things are going much better for me, and I sort of came back to impart some wisdom upon goons who find themselves in a similar situation to my own.

1 > Don't act desperate when trying to reconcile with someone. Nothing puts people off more than neediness.

2 > Be polite but not a doormat.

3 > Choose your words carefully. Lots of words have negative connotations attached to them. That's not right so don't use them!

4 > Always underestimate the amount of emotion you should put into something. There's a fine line between passionate and crazy.

5 > Take time out to count your blessings and realize just how lucky you are. Think of how intelligent you are or imagine all of the people who look worse off than yourself.

Anyway, a lot of you were curious about an update, so I want to put that in here too.

I spoke to her (my girlfriend) on the phone last night. She was staying at a friend's house, but she will probably only be able to keep her temporarily. I explained to her that the thing she had stumbled upon (which was just a scientific collection of bodily fluid) was an old science experiment I had been holding onto since high school. I explained that it was a mixture of ammonia, baking soda, water, and other materials I had forgotten. I told her that it was part of an experiment to replicate the smell of copper.

She seemed to be able to take this in, and I talked to her about hanging out with some friends on the internet and trying to get advice from them on how to apologize to her. She told me that she was going to consider moving back in. Now, you might not be able to understand this because you didn't hear her voice, but the relief in her voice was palpable. I'm positive she will return.

I also tried to speak with my goon friend, but the lady that runs the front desk told me he had taken a sick day. He hasn't responded to any of my messages, so I imagine he's quite ill.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank those of you who took the request in my previous thread serious. I also want to urge those of you (and I am sure there are many) who tend to be cynical and bitter and all that to take a better look at your life. I'm sure there's so much you could to fix it if you broke away from your mindset.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

EorayMel posted:

EorayMel posted:

Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

Im in a psyche ward and I found another dude with Mario kart, traded friend codes and he kicked my rear end a lot and I finally beat him once and he flipped out and they took both our switches away. I know technically it's not very 'lol' to have mental illness but I still can't believe I just saw a grown man get valium shot into his rear end because he lost at Mario kart

Assistant Manager Devil posted:

It's the Chiclawgo way.

Hodgepodge posted:

you can always be the bigger person, even in the psych ward, and its okay to lol at it imo

minato posted:

Nurse Ratched & Clank Racing

minato posted:

Nurse Ratched & Clank Racing

minato posted:

Nurse Ratched & Clank Racing

Drunk Nerds posted:

Boomers like telling you the Boy Scouts are great and you should join right away then when you don't join they get all your friends to join and act cold to you then when you eventually join they say they're gonna make "a man out of you" and schedule a big camping trip and then they forget to pack food because they were up the night before cheating on their third wife and then when you say you're hungry they say hunger is a "boy's emotion" and then when everyone else says they're hungry and they realize they forgot the food they say it was intentional and this is a "eat what you catch" trip and when you point out you brought a couple of packs of hot dogs they say they can't cook them because they're Jewish and when you say "how long have you been Jewish, your family used to sit in the pew in front of mine" they say "there are two things you don't talk about : Religion and politics" then they immediately tell a joke about a democrat prostitute at an OPEC assembly then when you ask them to show you how to get food they say "hunt bears" and when you point out that this is Cedar Rapids, Iowa and there hasn't been a bear around in one million years they say "I hear a bear right now!"

Then boomers like to walk off in the woods only to rustle around five minutes later making bear noises and then emerge from the woods with a pink lump of flesh saying they carved it off a bear then when you point out they clearly carved it out of their own arm they like to call you disrespectful then order you to "sew on some boy scout patches" when it's clear they secretly are having you sew patches on their carved-up arm to stop the bleeding and when you suggest they go to the hospital before dying they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Boomers like cornering you at their husband's funeral asking you to give a speech in front of their casket and when you say "wait, they told me they were Jewish" they say they were never Jewish and if you could just give a few anecdotes about how their husband was a "real mountain man" and when you point out this is Cedar Rapids, Iowa and there hasn't been a mountain around in one million years they roll their eyes and say "just get up there and say something, now."

In summation, goodbye Cubmaster Rick, you are in our hearts and prayers

Evilreaver posted:

Well Seymour,

Inceltown posted:

Trevor Hale posted:

“So many people jump on this that I wonder if the phrase "ignorance is bless" has become obsolete or something.”

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

typoing a typo correction; the thinking man's typo