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coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mia Yim wants you to respect her privacy.

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Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
I would actually like Charlotte more if she gave promos like her dad.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

I think she should fall on her face more. Like her dad.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
Recap time that I barely care to do. Mainly lifted from
https://www.f4wonline.com/wwe-results/wwe-raw-live-results-wrestlemania-backlash-fallout-341646

Open was Lashley and MVP said the open challenge for anyone besides Strowman and McIntyre.
Raw Tag Team Champion AJ Styles (w/Omos) defeated Elias (w/Jaxson Ryker) via DQ (11:48)
Alexa’s Playground with guests Natalya and Tamina. Tamina's expressions were golden.
Angel Garza defeated Drew Gulak (2:11)
R-Truth was in the back trying to hide as Kevin Patrick approached him for an interview. Truth was worried because there was an open challenge for his 24/7 title. Patrick let him know that it was Lashley who had the open challenge. Truth was relieved. Akira Tozawa rolled him up to win the belt and ran away.
https://streamable.com/ttix8v
Kofi Kingston (w/Xavier Woods) defeated Randy Orton (w/Riddle) (5:12)
https://streamable.com/e5va85
Eva
https://streamable.com/kxo5qp
Natalya & Tamina defeated Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler (w/Reginald) to retain the Women’s Tag Team Championships (3:13)
https://streamable.com/ni7cvr
US Champion Sheamus defeated Ricochet in a non-title match (13:25)
Asuka defeated Charlotte Flair (16:45)
Lumberjack Match: Damian Priest defeated John Morrison (12:07)
https://streamable.com/bh5b5k
Nikki Cross appeared on RAW
https://streamable.com/qu9kad
Kofi Kingston (w/Xavier Woods) defeated WWE Champion Bobby Lashley (w/MVP) in a non-title match (10:52)
https://streamable.com/x52jat

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Congratulations to Kofi, who won a better company would’ve just won the title.

Congratulations to Randy Orton, last time he had a great match with Kofi it took over 15 minutes. He’s much more efficient, presumably catering has eggrolls now.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

yo I'm not sure if that Eva-lution stuff is being played straight or not but that's some Million Dollar Man level snide coming from Eva.

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!
How many times are Nia and Shayna gonna wrestle Tamina and Nat???? Who is invested in this feud?

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

JT Smiley posted:

How many times are Nia and Shayna gonna wrestle Tamina and Nat???? Who is invested in this feud?

looking forward to their 13th match in 5 weeks this friday on smack down live

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

and is Shayna supposed to look like the chick from the road warrior movie

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

and the other thing about that clip is the most the most important thing in the match was Alexa used her magic to make everyone look like idiot fuckers. She considers this helping. This is a metaphor about WWE booking philosophy.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Digital Jedi posted:


Lumberjack Match: Damian Priest defeated John Morrison (12:07)
https://streamable.com/bh5b5k


John Morrisson looks like he is at least having fun getting to be silly and hang out with his friend Mike. Good for him.

Now his wife works there too.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

drip

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

I'll eat your lunch

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST

coconono posted:

yo I'm not sure if that Eva-lution stuff is being played straight or not but that's some Million Dollar Man level snide coming from Eva.

It's definitely being played straight. Current reports indicate that Eva Marie is supposed to debut as a babyface.

RealFoxy
May 11, 2011

I'm not making a fucking QCS thread for this but seriously can we take a harder stance on Kiwifarms freaks like this guy, Jesus Christ seriously, you used to be better at knocking these creeps down. I guess ADTRW mods aren't responsible like GBS mods are.
So let me get this straight: They're hiring more and more people yet they routinely have people wrestle twice on the show in dead-end feuds?

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

What the hell is going on with Charlotte’s face? Her face is made up of four flaming wheels with thousands of eyes, and it’s not subtle.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

Beef Jerky Robot posted:

What the hell is going on with Charlotte’s face? Her face is made up of four flaming wheels with thousands of eyes, and it’s not subtle.

We may never know, but you've opened the forbidden door yet again

:rip:

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!
Charlotte should never attempt that Andrade elbow stop again. She looked like she was drunk.

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007

JT Smiley posted:

Charlotte should never attempt that Andrade elbow stop again. She looked like she was drunk.

She doesn't want to be compared to her father.

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

Dango Bango posted:

She doesn't want to be compared to her father.

So she instead copies her husband.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

no one knows who her husband is

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


Gonna be something when she tries to do Rush brawling spots next!

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Beef Jerky Robot posted:

What the hell is going on with Charlotte’s face? Her face is made up of four flaming wheels with thousands of eyes, and it’s not subtle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi6XkjFofWY&t=11s

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Cavauro posted:

no one knows who her husband is

Considering the stuff that they have done with real life couples, (Rusev and Lana being one particularly egregious recent example), WWE were actually kinda respectful in keeping Mr and Mrs La Sombra's relationship private.

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!
It's gotten to the point where I can't even read the entire Raw recap, so I was shocked when I saw a Youtube video of Kofi beating Lashley.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Maxwell Lord posted:

I would actually like Charlotte more if she gave promos like her dad.

on the scale of "i would actually like" if your metric includes "if she was one of the greatest talkers of all time" is a bit of an easy sell

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
Give Roman at least a little bit of credit, it took him the better part of a decade, but he did finally ditch all of the pieces of his act that were just WWE going "Ya like the Shield, right? Well, this guy is the Shield!" but Charlotte's still going on year whatever of having all of the trappings and none of the actual talent of her dad, so her "stop calling me Ric Flair's daughter" blubbering still rings pretty hollow.

Anyway, hey, Kofi gets another turn in the main event, good for him. Dunno why he couldn't have just been an upper mid/low main event guy for the last year and a half but whatever.

Germansimp
May 28, 2013



Digital Jedi posted:

Lumberjack Match: Damian Priest defeated John Morrison (12:07)
https://streamable.com/bh5b5k

So, um, wasn't Morrison also devoured by zombies, or at the very least gang-attacked by them? How is he alive without any visible injuries? If he is back with no injuries this probably guarantees that Miz will be back next week in some lovely 'infected' make-up.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 11 hours!
lol if you think they are ever gonna acknowledge or reference the zombies ever again

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007

JT Smiley posted:

It's gotten to the point where I can't even read the entire Raw recap, so I was shocked when I saw a Youtube video of Kofi beating Lashley.

Ha. Your post made me realize I did the same thing.

Why would they have Kofi all of a sudden pin Lashley even if it wasn't clean? Lashley has been one of the most protected guys in WWE and he's the heel so the booking is completely backward.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 11 hours!

Dango Bango posted:

Why would they have Kofi all of a sudden pin Lashley even if it wasn't clean? Lashley has been one of the most protected guys in WWE and he's the heel so the booking is completely backward.

Because the company sucks OP!

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

Dango Bango posted:

Ha. Your post made me realize I did the same thing.

Why would they have Kofi all of a sudden pin Lashley even if it wasn't clean? Lashley has been one of the most protected guys in WWE and he's the heel so the booking is completely backward.

"Person pinning champion to become challenger" is a tried and tested booking tool in WWE. It is incredibly counter-intuitive and hasn't produced a single good follow-up story in the last 15 years or so.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer

Quantum of Phallus posted:

lol if you think they are ever gonna acknowledge or reference the zombies ever again

I think there will be like one offhand reference to it, as a joke.

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

Maxwell Lord posted:

I think there will be like one offhand reference to it, as a joke.

Also a retrospective some time down the line where WWE laughs at the dumb poo poo those idiot losers in WWE were doing.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Miz will come out in zombie makeup then rub it all off and call the viewers dumb idiots for believing him

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Germansimp posted:

So, um, wasn't Morrison also devoured by zombies, or at the very least gang-attacked by them? How is he alive without any visible injuries? If he is back with no injuries this probably guarantees that Miz will be back next week in some lovely 'infected' make-up.

Morrison was just pulled under the barricade, so he wasn't devoured on screen. It's easy enough to say he got away. But Miz is dead in kayfabe so rip

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Auska v Charlotte had botches but overall I liked it, and I liked the Priest/Morrison match, surprisingly, and the Kofi/Lashley match and I got a tinge of Kofi Mania which I think was the last time I was really invested in a storyline. Sheamus v Ricochet was okay but either they tried to do what happened last week as a worked spot or Sheamus botched the same way again, either way, awkward.

They did infer that Miz might be a zombie or possibly dead on the show.

Overall the stories are really really bad (although some are funny-bad) but the wrestling is kind of staying okay.

Rick fucked around with this message at 08:27 on May 18, 2021

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

Dango Bango posted:


Why would they have Kofi all of a sudden pin Lashley even if it wasn't clean? Lashley has been one of the most protected guys in WWE and he's the heel so the booking is completely backward.

I think it’s to set up another ppv match or decent for Lashley while still keeping Drew-Lashley feud relevant since Drew interferred.

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
I'm assuming Kofi's title shot gets ruined by Orton and Matt Riddle or something and Bobby challenges Drew to Hell in the Cell and . That almost feels too logical to be what happens right now.

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coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Grendels Dad posted:

"Person pinning champion to become challenger" is a tried and tested booking tool in WWE. It is incredibly counter-intuitive and hasn't produced a single good follow-up story in the last 15 years or so.

It amazes me that WWE still doesn’t have a formal challenger process like literally every other company. Instead you gotta call the champ a fuckface on a quiz show or some poo poo.

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