Ornamental Dingbat posted:

I agree with DC's stance on not having their characters do sex stuff because nobody wants to see teenage superman blasting supersonic loads through the walls of his parents' outhouse.

quote:

“I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor [Karen Berger]. She told me, "There's no masturbation in the DC Universe." To which my reaction was, "Well, that explains a lot about the DC Universe.”

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

There's been LOTS of instances in the comics where DC superheroes got their gently caress on (Superman very nearly starred in a porno in one comic and was only stopped at the last second but they specifically clarified that their characters don't do oral because "Heroes don't do that." It's all very weird.

Jeza posted:

wake me up when they make a Johnny the Homicidal Maniac mini-series so I can disabuse myself of early teenage memories of how it was

Outrail posted:

If I woke up with superman powers it's take a week for most world governments to declare war on the alien menace and another week for those governments to no longer exist in any meaningful capacity. It's probably a good thing that won't happen.

UnfortunateSexFart posted:

https://twitter.com/HousingOpen/status/1404898997324578819

Orange Devil posted:

Even the loving dolphins are capitalist scum now.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Does remind me in Megamind that a main part of the plot is the Superman equivalent fakes his death to the titular supervillain, because he's so completely burnt out on superheroics and wants to explore other aspects of his life. Starting with music- which he sucks at, but it seems suggested he's interested specifically because it's something he's not immediately an expert at, since he's taking lessons and trying to improve.

90s Cringe Rock posted:

Yeah, if I gained superman's powers I would continue posting.

casibanita posted:

i was over at a freinds house watching a movie when i go to my car to get my wallet and i see my ex girlsfreinds car speeding away. she and some freinds shoe polished about 5 peoples cars. saying gay poo poo like "i give good head" and "gay pride". i know shoe polishing isnt that big of a deal, but i loving hate this bitch. she cheated on me then i told my freinds who now hate her, and shes mad at me now i guess. some ideas ive had
1. my freind works at a local car shop and he has this tool that instantly flattens tires without slashing them (i dont want legal trouble)
2. i have a bunch of stink bombs that i could pour all over her car and into the hood, hopefully the air contitioning unit
3. tell a bunch of older guys that she likes, and they will make her life misrable.
any other ideas?

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Milo and POTUS posted:

Coming up with elaborate revenge fantasies but not wanting to get in trouble

Tiggum posted:

Joe Bogan posted:

Batman was being specific when he said he wouldn't go down on Catwoman

Platystemon posted:

the arcane relic of a valve core tool

iwentdoodie posted:

You vastly overestimate people if you think more than 5% know what that is or does.

Outrail posted:

Are we talking about a crowbar or that zero point gravity gun?

christmas boots posted:

Someone on Twitter suggested that Batman specifically can't do it because it's something Bruce Wayne is legendarily good at which I've decided to accept as canon.

Phy posted:

As the tiny vessel bearing the infant streaks away from the collapsing planet, the rubble forms itself into the glyphs of its already-extinct people:

"IT'S A BOY"

Jay Rust posted:

who do you trust more, lowtax or the dept of homeland security

Anime Bernie Bro posted:

huh... this one is actually difficult...

Tiberius Christ posted:

whats the proper canvas size for a gently caress painting, does it need to be as big as a mattress or can I just dip my cock into some blue paint and mash it around on a nice portrait

Loki Kunti posted:

You can do whatever you want, miniatures can be very valuable in art.

Tip posted:

The first time I went to a proper barber was as a teenager in a small town in Texas. I went in and the place was empty and after I sat down the one barber in the place walked over to the door and locked it.

Then he came over and started cutting my hair and said, "Those look like comfortable pants."

I said yes, they are pretty comfortable, and he said, "Lots of ball room," and I started to get uncomfortable.

For the rest of the haircut he just talked about how big his balls were and how most pants could not comfortably hold them.

I never went to an old school looking barber shop again.

haveblue posted:

Bruce Wayne pretends to be bad at stuff Batman can do all the time and it's worked so far, surely it can happen the other way around

cumshitter posted:

I want to read some golden age of Superman comics because from what I understand it was before Superman had any supervillains to face off against. So he'd do poo poo like declare war on cars in general and spend the day loving with drivers pretending to be run over or breaking into the local radio station to tell every driver in town he was going to destroy them.

Super Dan posted:

Yep. Action Comics #12.

Outrail posted:

Casually bringing up his weak, ineffective member during every conversation with Commissioner Gordon.

Super Dan posted:

Yep. Action Comics #12.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

A lot about our society makes sense when you realise that most of our social constructs and workplace schedules were developed assuming we'd all have over-the-counter cocaine.

Cpt_Obvious posted:

In elementary school there was a kid who would always disrupt class and yell and normally the teacher would be all "ok jimmy, settle down" but one time the teacher ignored him so he covered his face in Elmer's glue and then stood on the chair screaming that he was a ghost and then some of the glue got in his eyes and he panicked and fell and smashed his head on a desk.

EorayMel posted:

Lobok posted:

Heat Vision, X-ray Vision, and Vision Zero