UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

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Do you prefer the extended summer thread format? This poll is closed.
Yes	126	44.21%
No	39	13.68%
I'm Scottish	120	42.11%
Total:	285 votes

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bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

is javid the egg guy

# ? Jun 27, 2021 11:47

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# ? May 24, 2024 00:49

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

his secretary just rolls her eyes, like, and lifts the phone "hello barry? could you send up gary, the minister is stuck to the window again"

"oh okay, well could you send up harry instead? okay thanks, barry"

and then harry trundles in with a step ladder under one arm and twirling a wallpaper scraper in his free hand and shaking his head going "tsktsktsktsk" at the scene before him :manning:

like that hehehehehehehehe

# ? Jun 27, 2021 11:49

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

kingturnip posted:

I'm also enjoying finding out that classified MoD documents were found in a soggy heap behind a bus stop in Kent, for the sheer incongruity of it.

- If they weren't stolen, why would you take 50 pages out of whatever bag you were carrying them in before you got home/to another office? And them dump them behind a bus stop?
- If you're entitled to have access to them, why would you print them off in the first place, rather than just reading the secured PDF on your laptop?
- If they were stolen, why would you dump them behind a bus stop? If you've stolen the bag they're in, surely you just take the whole bag and sort out what's inside later?
- If this is just the MoD saying "We're vewy sowwy" to Russia, isn't there an easier way of doing it than some dogshit fake leak that also tests the water of public opinion on keeping troops in Afghanistan once the USA pulls out?

Depends on exactly what the docs were (and the protective marking on them) but my guess that it's actually just a printed handout or something that holds a lower classification. Then it could be anything from "Were in a laptop bag that got nicked, got dumped out on the way to Cash Converters" to "Very confused Porn Fairy".

If they *are* higher-classification documents they're a) generally individually numbered so the MoD will know exactly who had them last and b) not normally allowed outside of a secure facility, so finding them at a bus stop could well mean "Attempt at a dead drop for a leak or espionage".

Note that HMG abandoned the CONFIDENTIAL protective marking because a) they just couldn't stop people taking them home and even working on them on the train and b) the fact everyone loves slapping that word on poo poo and if it turns up in a government building with CONFIDENTIAL written on it they have to actually treat it as an important classified document. Everyone got told to either remove enough poo poo to get them down a level or reclassify them at a higher one so people realised not to just leave them at Starbucks.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 11:55

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Oh it was a Saladin, I just don't know what size it was to make it me avatar.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:04

Angepain: Jul 13, 2012; what keeps happening to my clothes

this may have been said before but I love how every single time Kim Leadbeater is in the news she is mainly referred to as "Jo Cox's sister", often in place of her actual name if not right next to it. does she actually have any other aspects to her personality or her life? does she have political positions of any kind? who knows. who can ever know. she is a sister and this is all

Josef bugman posted:

Heya, does anyone remember which thread had my old avatar in it? Someone gave me this one and I would like to change it back. To pre-empt questions, I don't know what I said or did.

Maybe it was because of the "chompsky" tagline? I really don't know.

I googled 'site:forums.somethingawful.com "josef bugman"' and found a cached version of a thread:

also all old avatars have a standard url once you find one of them so here is our old pal Video Shark

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:06

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

https://twitter.com/bhangbhangducx/status/1407931226673934338

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:15

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

bump_fn posted:

is javid the egg guy

Yeah me and my partner were trying to remember who he was then we both burst into gleeful smiles and said "the egg man!" at the same time

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:22

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Can't wait for the NHS to be run under the principles of The Fountainhead.
:hotpickle:

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:24

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Depends on exactly what the docs were (and the protective marking on them) but my guess that it's actually just a printed handout or something that holds a lower classification. Then it could be anything from "Were in a laptop bag that got nicked, got dumped out on the way to Cash Converters" to "Very confused Porn Fairy".

If they *are* higher-classification documents they're a) generally individually numbered so the MoD will know exactly who had them last and b) not normally allowed outside of a secure facility, so finding them at a bus stop could well mean "Attempt at a dead drop for a leak or espionage".

Note that HMG abandoned the CONFIDENTIAL protective marking because a) they just couldn't stop people taking them home and even working on them on the train and b) the fact everyone loves slapping that word on poo poo and if it turns up in a government building with CONFIDENTIAL written on it they have to actually treat it as an important classified document. Everyone got told to either remove enough poo poo to get them down a level or reclassify them at a higher one so people realised not to just leave them at Starbucks.

That they specifically refer to the warship sailing around Ukraine and makes reference to what they think Russias reaction to it will be is a bit of a giveaway. Of all the pages to be left lying around its ones about a political incident a few days ago.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:27

Brendan Rodgers: Jun 11, 2014

Maybe it's a really lovely version of the Cambridge Five trying to do a dead drop.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:32

Bobstar: Feb 8, 2006; KartooshFace, you are not responding efficiently!

Brendan Rodgers posted:

Cambridge Five trying to do a dead drop.

I don't remember that Enid Blyton book. Was it CANCELLED before I was born???

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:37

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Angepain posted:

also all old avatars have a standard url once you find one of them so here is our old pal Video Shark

Thank you very much Angepain! Awhhh, I sometimes miss Video Shark.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:39

BalloonFish: Jun 30, 2013; Fun Shoe

Clarence posted:

Leader would like a quiet word outside.

I've been fascinated by Leader since I was a kid - my Dad had loads of transport-themed cigarette cards that he'd collected when he was a kid (because it was the 50s and there was nothing wrong with tobacco firms hawking promotional products to seven-year olds) and they were framed and hung in the downstairs loo. One of them - in the steam engine collection, in amongst all the normal-looking steam locos - was Leader.

The whole thing is just such a bonkers idea, from both an engineering and a project management point of view. Oliver Bulleid was clearly one of these brilliant out-of-the-box thinkers who really needed to have some sort of limit or oversight put on him otherwise he just came out with stuff that was conceptually brilliant but entirely impractical.

Leader started off as the Southern Railway board saying "Huh, we need a simple, light steam loco to haul empty coaches in and out of Waterloo because the ones we're currently using are 60 years old - a tank-engine version of the Q1 would be good" and Bulleid takes that suggestion and comes back with a twin-bogie twelve-wheeled...thing...with sleeve valves (a technology that had never previously worked whenever tried on a steam loco), chain drive and that weighed 150 tons.

And then - all the more extraordinary - the SR board went "Cool!" and not only agreed to build it but ordered five of them off the drawing board, and then authorised the conversion of an existing loco to trial and develop the sleeve valve technology while the Leaders were actually being built.

I assume that the whole thing was either everyone at the SR thinking that, with nationalisation imminent, it would all be someone else's problem so why not let Bulleid try out his crazy scheme, or it was a deliberate gently caress-you to the lefties in Whitehall.
.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:42

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

jiggerypokery posted:

The whole cocaine situation is damning enough of Gove and his ilk.

I've heard he was actually quite pleasant to work with as environment secretary though from a civil servant, which kind of makes him feel worse to me. He apparently actually listened and cared. It's like he has a genuinely decent inner child crushed by a loving odious, duplicitous self-serving ambition.

Verifying citation.

I know people who know Gove and the general opinion is that he�s a incredibly competent department head, the policies he may be enacting may be evil but he�s the one you want to work with as a boss.

His issue is that he�s a �Machiavellian little bugger� who wants to be PM, the general opinion is if he dropped that ambition and just concentrated on a single civil service department then you would at the very least see decent interdepartmental reforms and the right people promoted like he did at the department of education and department of environment and that�s the kind of unnoticed boring graft that does matter and has been neglected by shitheals like Hancock.

Anyway this is going to show my age but the Tory old guard think he�s the 2021 Norman Tebbit.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:54

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Some interesting, clever and I think pretty persuasive campaigning by the greens for the upcoming local elections:

# ? Jun 27, 2021 12:59

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

If the nomination date for something is passed, something I would be interested in getting involved with but didn't think I stood a chance, and then there's an email comes round saying nomination dates extended.... is it safe to assume no one put themselves forward? (You can self-nominate. Noone in this organisation knows I exist!)
(Not a political organisation - though they do like to put a bit of pressure on govt.)

ed: VVV I'm a cowardy custard.

Jaeluni Asjil fucked around with this message at 13:13 on Jun 27, 2021

# ? Jun 27, 2021 13:06

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

Just give it a go!

What's the worst that could happen.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 13:11

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Guavanaut posted:

Can't wait for the NHS to be run under the principles of The Fountainhead.

For eleven years you have asked: when can I get a GP appointment?

# ? Jun 27, 2021 13:15

Brendan Rodgers: Jun 11, 2014

Bobstar posted:

I don't remember that Enid Blyton book. Was it CANCELLED before I was born???

I bet she had the kids mess up a dead drop at least once, she used to write a book a week. 762 published books in total.

All the racism and stuff about girls not being meant to have short hair or boys not being meant to wear dresses should probably be cancelled instead of read to children though.

So the answer is, yes.

Brendan Rodgers fucked around with this message at 13:36 on Jun 27, 2021

# ? Jun 27, 2021 13:16

EvilHawk: Sep 15, 2009; LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

If the nomination date for something is passed, something I would be interested in getting involved with but didn't think I stood a chance, and then there's an email comes round saying nomination dates extended.... is it safe to assume no one put themselves forward? (You can self-nominate. Noone in this organisation knows I exist!)
(Not a political organisation - though they do like to put a bit of pressure on govt.)

ed: VVV I'm a cowardy custard.

If a nomination date has been extended there's three possibilities:

a) Like you say, nobody has put themselves forward
b) They've had some nominations and they're all poo poo so they want new people
c) They're waiting for the person they REALLY want to be nominated

You don't lose anything by putting yourself forward in any case!

# ? Jun 27, 2021 13:16

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Tory minister in not telling the truth shock, probe, riddle, scandal, resigning matter - erm, not.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brandon-lewis-irish-sea-border-tweet-b1873511.html

quote:

Brandon Lewis has once again acknowledged that a tweet he sent out in January, in which he claimed �there is no Irish Sea border�, is not entirely true.

�I fully accept that tweet hasn�t aged well,� the Northern Ireland secretary told Andrew Marr on Sunday when he appeared on the broadcaster�s eponymous BBC1 show.

Mr Marr had shown his guest a screenshot of the tweet and asked him to �straightforwardly accept that that is not true�.

etc

Goes on to blame the EU for being 'purist'.

The tweet:

https://twitter.com/BrandonLewis/status/1345057483887411200?s=20

# ? Jun 27, 2021 13:48

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Goes on to blame the EU for being 'purist'.

How dare the EU want to follow mutually agreed to contracts to the letter.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 13:56

domhal: Dec 30, 2008; 0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin. All he has managed to do is make himself *sad*. It has, however, made him into a very, very smart boy with something like a university degree in Truth. Instead of building Communism, he now builds a precise model of this grotesque, duplicitous world.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57627708.amp

quote:

Mr Javid, who has had several key government roles, said his predecessor had worked "incredibly hard".

# ? Jun 27, 2021 14:00

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

learnincurve posted:

Verifying citation.

I know people who know Gove and the general opinion is that he’s a incredibly competent department head, the policies he may be enacting may be evil but he’s the one you want to work with as a boss.

His issue is that he’s a “Machiavellian little bugger” who wants to be PM, the general opinion is if he dropped that ambition and just concentrated on a single civil service department then you would at the very least see decent interdepartmental reforms and the right people promoted like he did at the department of education and department of environment and that’s the kind of unnoticed boring graft that does matter and has been neglected by shitheals like Hancock.

Anyway this is going to show my age but the Tory old guard think he’s the 2021 Norman Tebbit.

I'm not sure I want my terrifying right wingers to be competent idk

# ? Jun 27, 2021 14:25

PawParole: Nov 16, 2019

PawParole posted:

if you know how hellworld works, you�d know that Gorgeous Georgie will be the next pm after Brexit Day. It�s already written in the stars.

OwlFancier posted:

It doesn't matter how much you keep posting it, george galloway is not the next big thing in UK politics.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 14:59

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

https://twitter.com/thesundaytimes/status/1409106390073946112?s=19

Andrew Adonis is cutting diamonds right now

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:22

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

sebzilla posted:

https://twitter.com/thesundaytimes/status/1409106390073946112?s=19

Andrew Adonis is cutting diamonds right now

Blair would have to win a by-election first and lol good luck with that.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:25

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:29

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Blair would have to win a by-election first and lol good luck with that.

I'm sure 'they' would waive the rule book like they did to get Leadbetter to stand if it came to it.
Rules are for other people, not the Labour far right.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:30

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Why do they object to being called Blairites if their only idea ever is to bring back Tony Blair? And then they accuse everyone else of preferring personality over policy.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:36

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Guavanaut posted:

Why do they object to being called Blairites if their only idea ever is to bring back Tony Blair? And then they accuse everyone else of preferring personality over policy.

Centrists hate being described accurately more than anything

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:40

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Centrists hate being ~~described accurately~~socialist more than anything

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:42

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/jun/27/boy-11-referred-to-prevent-for-wanting-to-give-alms-to-the-oppressed

quote:

Boy, 11, referred to Prevent for wanting to give �alms to the oppressed�
Teachers contact counter-radicalisation programme after mistakenly believing he said �arms�

An 11-year-old primary school pupil was referred to the government�s controversial counter-radicalisation Prevent programme after a teacher mistook the word �alms� for �arms� during a classroom discussion.

The boy�s teacher asked what pupils would do if they found themselves in possession of a lot of money. According to a legal challenge against the school lodged by the boy�s parents, he said he would �give alms to the oppressed�. The teacher interpreted this as �give arms to the oppressed� and made the Prevent referral.

When police received the referral they said there was no substance to it, no sign of radicalisation, extremist views or any threat to national security and closed the case.

The boy�s parents are taking legal action against the school, accusing it of applying a stereotype about his racial and religious background. It calls for a written apology from the school, the payment of damages and the expunging of the Prevent referral from the boy�s record.

etc

ed: I missed a bit that does say he goes to mosque.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:48

Pork Lift: Oct 9, 2007; Winner of the 2012
Highway Traffic
Prediction Razzies

We should also arm the oppressed though

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:52

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

I'd give arms to the oppressed.

Charity entrenches the power disparity, the mass line challenges it.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:53

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

I actually would unironically love to see Blair come back and then totally eat poo poo. He doesn't even have to be in the Commons, we've had PMs who weren't let alone leaders of the opposition.

# ? Jun 27, 2021 15:54