[UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

«‹›2512 »

(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)

Endless Trash: Aug 12, 2007

The Saucer Hovers posted:

we know mike you like ghosts

you say aliens, I say the ghosts of deceased pilots

perhaps the truth is somewhere in the middle

# ? Jun 29, 2021 09:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 11:52

endocriminologist: May 17, 2021; SUFFERINGLOVER:press send + soul + earth lol
inncntsoul:ok

(inncntsoul has left the game)

ARCHON_MASTER:lol
MAMMON69:lol

idea

# ? Jun 29, 2021 10:05

Butternubs: Feb 15, 2012

The flying pizza is a fake, or at lease someone's edited an extra splash in.

OR the whale photo is a fake to cover up papa johns new drone tech.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:19

Source4Leko: Jul 25, 2007; Dinosaur Gum

OK baizuo posted:

It's von Neumann probes except for if anyone out there has figured out artificial wormholes, because there's no such thing as ftl otherwise

I wouldn't say that with certainty. Saying physics as we know it now says it's impossible is one thing. Saying it is utterly impossible is another.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:28

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Vomik posted:

if you invented faster than light travel you could theoretically go back in time and abduct yourself

You cant actually go faster than the speed of light. Even if we did it would only be useful to going to the future relative to someone not going as fast as you. The past doesn't exist. it's gone. You can't go back to it.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:30

Butternubs: Feb 15, 2012

OK baizuo posted:

It's von Neumann probes except for if anyone out there has figured out artificial wormholes, because there's no such thing as ftl otherwise

What if they can hibernate or they've figured out cryogenics. Then speed doesn't really matter.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:33

Log082: Nov 8, 2008

Butternubs posted:

What if they can hibernate or they've figured out cryogenics. Then speed doesn't really matter.

Or they're biologically immortal and don't feel old age. If you're going to live forever barring accidents, who cares if it takes a few thousand years to go explore a random planet?

That said if it's really extraterrestrial von Neuman probes are still my bet.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:38

Dolphin: Dec 5, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

you don't have to go faster than the speed of light, you just have to approach it and when you do space contracts and objects become much closer. for all intents and purposes from your own point of reference you can travel faster than the speed of light but when you reach your destination all your relatives will be older

source: my uncle is gay

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:38

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

If you had infinite power / resources you could view the past a bit. This would require wormholes and a reflecting mirror the size of a solar system. Still then youd would not be able to see like people talking to each other.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:39

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Yes it is "not hard" to go very fast (relative to other things) by just accelerating at constant thrust. The is one of the main ideas behind the fermi paradox btw. since it seems trivial for an advanced civilization to travel distances like "galaxy" size, there should be evidence of this travel since time is so long. Basically, there is way more time than distance in the history of a galaxy.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:43

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

euphronius posted:

Yes it is "not hard" to go very fast (relative to other things) by just accelerating at constant thrust. The is one of the main ideas behind the fermi paradox btw. since it seems trivial for an advanced civilization to travel distances like "galaxy" size, there should be evidence of this travel since time is so long. Basically, there is way more time than distance in the history of a galaxy.

The single example of the human race seems to point strongly to the possibility that technological civilizations are extremely short-lived and unlikely to have the capacity to travel into space for more than a few hundred years before causing a mass extinction event that takes them with it.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:46

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

But since there is evidence of other civilizations traveling across the galaxy, the Fermi Paradox has been solved and we dont need to worry about depressing left wing ideas like "THE GREAT FILTER"

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:50

Egg Moron: Jul 21, 2003; the dreams of the delighting void

Imo the US government has been involved in a proxy war between galactic superpowers a la Stargate SG1.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:51

Dolphin: Dec 5, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

another issue is communication, any individuals or teams or families would be essentially cut off from communication from their home planet and would be operating autonomously and could relay no information or receive instructions within a reasonable timeframe by human standards

unless they figure out some kind of quantum entanglement or micro wormhole tech the latter of which I think is actually within the realm of possibility

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:51

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

wormholes should def work for information . even if you�d never want to send like a spaceship through one

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:53

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

of course we are completely discounting spiritual technology.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:56

Dolphin: Dec 5, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

yeah like we've already made them in labs on earth and passed magnetic fields through them

# ? Jun 29, 2021 14:56

Egg Moron: Jul 21, 2003; the dreams of the delighting void

We ever get anything out of all that atom smashing?

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:03

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

euphronius posted:

You cant actually go faster than the speed of light. Even if we did it would only be useful to going to the future relative to someone not going as fast as you. The past doesn't exist. it's gone. You can't go back to it.

Some UFOs seem to defy our current understanding of physics...so maybe it's possible that we don't actually know everything about how everything works.

But many theories about UFOs being aliens dont even involve ftl. They involve bending space time with fancy warp bubbles, so that you're technically not even moving and wormholes and poo poo like that. Or it's robot probes that can fly for thousands of years at sublight speeds with no problems

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:05

endocriminologist: May 17, 2021; SUFFERINGLOVER:press send + soul + earth lol
inncntsoul:ok

(inncntsoul has left the game)

ARCHON_MASTER:lol
MAMMON69:lol

there is a new cold war brewing. the us and china each have contact with different alien races, and they loving LOVE being goofy on a battlefield

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:05

Dolphin: Dec 5, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

the aliens don't have compatible sex organs but they loving LOVE pegging

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:07

endocriminologist: May 17, 2021; SUFFERINGLOVER:press send + soul + earth lol
inncntsoul:ok

(inncntsoul has left the game)

ARCHON_MASTER:lol
MAMMON69:lol

Dolphin posted:

the aliens don't have compatible sex organs but they loving LOVE pegging

same

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:08

Source4Leko: Jul 25, 2007; Dinosaur Gum

Egg Moron posted:

We ever get anything out of all that atom smashing?

Honestly commercially available MRI machines is a big one.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:08

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

Azathoth posted:

yeah I had the same thought when I was reading about the Brazilian cases from the 70s. the thing of it is though, it's almost never like the kind of radiation that we're familiar with, in that while it's got some of the symptoms of radiation poisoning, it's almost always missing symptoms that should be present

obviously that doesn't rule out radiation or directed energy of some kind, it just makes it really weird

one theory that I've been nursing for a while is that some types of UFOs, at least from the 60s and 70s, did some kind of hosed up poo poo with thermal energy. in that either as a biproduct of operation or as part of their mechanism of flight. that is, they get exceptionally hot while operating, but can somehow direct or dissipate that heat in a manner faster than should be possible, and that some of these injuries happen when these things malfunction and direct that energy where it isn't supposed to go

so ur saying its birds

i am harry posted:

this happens in Close Encounters I wonder if it�s an homage

could be

the Falcon Lake incident was another one where a guy got burned:

https://mysteriousuniverse.org/2020/01/the-mysterious-case-of-the-ufo-attack-at-falcon-lake/

quote:

As he scoped out the area, Michalak was startled by a gaggle of geese suddenly alighting into the sky with some commotion, which he followed skyward until his eyes fell upon an otherworldly sight hovering above. He says that the geese passed in front of two large, oval or cigar-shaped objects in the air surrounded by a reddish glow, and that one of these began to descend as he looked on in awe to land on a nearby flat shelf of rock, where it seemed to morph into a disc-like shape right before his startled eyes. As the strange object did this, the other craft allegedly ascended into the sky to disappear, leaving Michalak alone with the glowing disc that had landed only about 45 meters away from him.

The witness would claim that he had warily approached the curious sight, and as he did so a hatch would open on the side of the object as the glow subsided to reveal a metallic surface. He claimed that the opening belched forth a smell not unlike sulphur, and that a motorized whirring noise could be heard emanating from within, as well as the glare from a bright light. He still crept closer, and says that he could hear what sounded vaguely like voices echoing about within. Michalak allegedly called out to whoever it was, but there was no reply. The multilingual Michalak even tried calling out in Polish, Russian, and German, thinking that this was a manmade craft, but met with only that unearthly machine hum each time. Where as most people would have probably called it a day and gotten out of there with haste, Michalak was so curious that he moved ever closer to the craft, each call out to the occupants unanswered, until he was purportedly standing right at the portal that had opened in the craft, and it was here where things would get truly bizarre.

After taking a peek within to see various flashing lights, panels of some sort, all bathed in a purplish glow, he reached out to touch the side of the object to find it extremely hot to the touch, causing him to withdraw his hand in surprise. Inspecting his glove, he apparently found that it had been actually melted, and as he stared at his hand in bafflement the whole of the craft then began to rattle and shake. As this was happening, the now frightened man says he was struck in the chest by what felt like a stream of very hot air emitted from within the craft, which sent him sprawling back away from the disc. The bizarre craft then began to lift off the ground to hover over him, before shooting off over the trees into the sky to leave Michalak feeling nauseous to the point that he vomited where he stood. In his head he could feel an intense pain building, as well as an intense burning in his chest area, and he knew that something was very wrong. Wrapping himself close with his jacket, he meandered off towards the road and towards civilization, constantly vomiting along the way and eventually stumbling into the the parking lot of the Falcon Motor Hotel.

When hotel staff found him, he was delirious and rambling, disheveled and wild-eyed and still vomiting, and it was at first thought that he was just very drunk. Michalak managed to make it on his own on a bus back to Winnipeg, where he was whisked off to the hospital and things would get even stranger still. When examined it was revealed that he had a series of burn marks that formed a grid-like pattern over his chest, as well as signs of what appeared to be radiation sickness, the causes unknown. Michalak�s son, Stan Michalak, would later say of seeing his father in this state:

"I recalled seeing him in bed. He didn�t look good at all. He looked pale, haggard. When I walked into the bedroom there was a huge stink in the room, like a real horrible aroma of sulphur and burnt motor. It was all around and it was coming out of his pores. It was bad. I was very afraid. My dad had been injured and I didn�t know anything about it."

Apparently there was quite a lot of interest from the military and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) and Royal Canadian Air Force at he time, with numerous alleged searches of the area of the incident using tracker dogs and aircraft, and even Michalak himself was recruited to join in the sweep when he was feeling better. They apparently found the remains of Michalak�s scorched and melted glove, as well as some of his tools and allegedly a circular area on the rock that was strangely devoid of moss or any vegetation and which possessed soil high in radiation readings and some odd pieces of melted metal within the cracks of the rock, also radioactive in nature.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:14

Butternubs: Feb 15, 2012

Rah! posted:

Some UFOs seem to defy our current understanding of physics...so maybe it's possible that we don't actually know everything about how everything works.

But many theories about UFOs being aliens dont even involve ftl. They involve bending space time with fancy warp bubbles, so that you're technically not even moving and wormholes and poo poo like that. Or it's robot probes that can fly for thousands of years at sublight speeds with no problems

I maintain a optimistic outlook on Alcubierre drives, They can technically work mathematically, we don't know if they can work physically and if they did they have a bunch of problems (energy requirements equivalent to a large planet, gamma radiation shockwaves, being unable to start or stop) that are far beyond us at the moment. But, man, if they did work that would be so cool. So I like to file that one in the "It must work because I really want it to" category

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:15

Egg Moron: Jul 21, 2003; the dreams of the delighting void

Source4Leko posted:

Honestly commercially available MRI machines is a big one.

I ain't never seen no commercial for no magnetic picture box

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:17

Dolphin: Dec 5, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

pretty sure if we figure out quantum gravity all kinds of insane possibilities open up

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:17

PawParole: Nov 16, 2019

Rah! posted:

Some birds seem to defy our current understanding of physics...so maybe it's possible that we don't actually know everything about how birds work.

But many theories about birds being birds don't even involve ballons . They involve birds

crazy how birds do that

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:29

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

PawParole posted:

crazy how birds do that

dude birds arent real

lmao

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:35

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

balloons shaped like a bird

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:35

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

Round bird. Triangle bird. Cigar bird

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:39

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l30_APBNPXg

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:44

wilfredmerriweathr: Jul 11, 2005

Egg Moron posted:

We ever get anything out of all that atom smashing?

I used to get the particle data group (group of physicists doing the particle smashing) annual particle guide, it's got literally thousands of exotic particles that only last for nanoseconds before decay but it's pretty goddamned cool to see basically a guide to every particle you can create by smashing protons together.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:45

BeefThief: Aug 8, 2007

If these are von Neumann probes there should be no problem destroying them and trying to reverse-engineer any available tech, right?

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:49

DOCTOR ZIMBARDO: May 8, 2006

Antifa Turkeesian posted:

It would have left a characteristic rise in CO2 in a span of hundreds vs hundreds of thousands of years + a layer of plastic everywhere if a global technological civilization.

If it was just like a bunch of iron-age cities or something, yeah we�d never know.

If only a million years, we might have noticed that certain minerals were already mined out of the ground where they should have been.

Dinosaurs were on this planet for over a hundred and fifty million years, billions and billions of animals running around all over every corner of the earth over the course of millions of years. But all we have to show for it is maybe eleven or twelve thousand fossilized skeletons and some footprints. The crust of the earth gets refreshed and replaced over geological time scales. A global thermonuclear war in the Triassic, for example, would leave no radiological trace whatsoever today. I think you seriously overestimate the likelihood of things (artifacts or individuals) being preserved, or indirect traces (radiological, carbon, mineralogical, etc.) being distinguishable from the background. Do you really think organic hydrocarbons like plastic aren�t going to break down on a timescale of hundreds of thousands, or millions of years? It�s totally absurd (especially in the UFO thread of all places) to dismiss a Silurian possibility out of hand. It�s much more probable that we missed something on Earth, where we know life exists and existed, than out in the stars somewhere.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:49

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

DOCTOR ZIMBARDO posted:

Dinosaurs were on this planet for over a hundred and fifty million years, billions and billions of animals running around all over every corner of the earth over the course of millions of years. But all we have to show for it is maybe eleven or twelve thousand fossilized skeletons and some footprints. The crust of the earth gets refreshed and replaced over geological time scales. A global thermonuclear war in the Triassic, for example, would leave no radiological trace whatsoever today. I think you seriously overestimate the likelihood of things (artifacts or individuals) being preserved, or indirect traces (radiological, carbon, mineralogical, etc.) being distinguishable from the background. Do you really think organic hydrocarbons like plastic aren�t going to break down on a timescale of hundreds of thousands, or millions of years? It�s totally absurd (especially in the UFO thread of all places) to dismiss a Silurian possibility out of hand. It�s much more probable that we missed something on Earth, where we know life exists and existed, than out in the stars somewhere.

lmao

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:53

Egg Moron: Jul 21, 2003; the dreams of the delighting void

Egg Moron posted:

I ain't never seen no commercial for no magnetic picture box

I lied

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:54

Pontificating Ass: Aug 2, 2002; What Doth Life?

BeefThief posted:

If these are von Neumann probes there should be no problem destroying them and trying to reverse-engineer any available tech, right?

PANDORA'S BOX

# ? Jun 29, 2021 15:56

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

i cant believe u freaks think Q is going to come down 2 earth in a flying saucer

# ? Jun 29, 2021 16:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 11:52

Log082: Nov 8, 2008

BeefThief posted:

If these are von Neumann probes there should be no problem destroying them and trying to reverse-engineer any available tech, right?

Only one way to find out!

...And that's to wait for them to crash on their own because every reported attempt to shoot them down has gone poorly.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 16:01

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

«‹›2512 »