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Rev. Bleech_ posted:I think I encountered a Freeper in the wild yesterday. I work in a hotel and this old fart comes storming up to the desk wearing an old Marine garrison cap, a t-shirt reading "HERE'S MY GUN PERMIT: THE 2ND AMENDMENT!!!", a tragic pair of old man shorts, and open-carrying a ludicrous Deagle-sized handgun. "I PAID FOR TWO NIGHTS AND YOU PEOPLE KICK ME OUT, THIS IS THE BIGGEST SCAM GOING". "uh, no one is kicking you out, the keys either expired or demagnetized. Here." He then takes those keys, turns around, and stomps off shouting "I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THAT MEANS" before angrily coming back to check out 10 minutes later. Nah, dude was wearing a hat. Dalereed would demand he go lay down in the street and die Guavanaut posted:I don't think this guy was on Freep but he did share all the same memes so checks out. As I recall the cops never defended them before either and alt right assholes still got the poo poo kicked out of them even when they came armed to fight I certainly remember Ngo bitching about concrete milkshakes and milking a "concussion" FMguru posted:I really like that "The entire Congressional Black Caucus switches parties" is STEP ONE of their brilliant, airtight, can't-fail plan. I wonder which pizza shop they'll get the crazies to swarm this time Jagged Jim posted:To: Menehune56 "But I'll still fall for the next one!" SocketWrench fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Jul 11, 2021 |
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Jul 11, 2021 05:15
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The freeper fantasy world where the US has a massive, successful leftist syops campaign masterminded by AnCom-ala Harris, Satan-worshipping Hillary, and Barack the muslim socialist sounds awesome. I think it's time for another repost of that quote where Obama's posse dancewalks up the human fetus ivory stairs of Washington Palace
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Jul 11, 2021 11:51
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:The freeper fantasy world where the US has a massive, successful leftist syops campaign masterminded by AnCom-ala Harris, Satan-worshipping Hillary, and Barack the muslim socialist sounds awesome. I’ve got that and ever-expanding Obama kicking around somewhere, I’ll look around when I get back home.
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Jul 11, 2021 12:54
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I love that freeper who thinks the 2020 election was an op to entrap the democrats and everything is still going according to plan. I wonder if this is the new Q play, or just personal headcanon.
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Jul 11, 2021 13:39
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:The freeper fantasy world where the US has a massive, successful leftist syops campaign masterminded by AnCom-ala Harris, Satan-worshipping Hillary, and Barack the muslim socialist sounds awesome. King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, stepped out of his blinged Limoscalade and marched up the gold-lined marble steps of Washington Palace. It should have been a glorious day, yet under his heavy yet exquisite crown of carved human fetus-ivory his brow was ridged deeply as he silently brooded. Still, his posse, boomboxes on their shoulders, dance-walked up the steps, chains and gats jangling over the din as they grabbed their crotches. As his trusted associates T-Von and Mook-Mook the Bushman pushed open the grand organic farm-grown cruelty-free redwood doors paid for by his 95% tax rate, he stepped into the antechamber of the gold-domed palace. Outside, ShariaVentalism reigned, but in here his word was law, and all his white teen sex slaves cowered before his glare more than even the hemp whips of their latte-drinking tweeded atheist masters. He walked down the hallway toward his office and a prisoner in chains passed before him, lead by two turban-wearing Mexicans. He spotted the King and began shouting curses. "You loving fascist! I knew it! I knew it! I told them, but they wouldn't listen, that your health care platform was a slippery slope to all this! You won't get away with this! The will of the Free Market will not be denied!" "Seelenceo een the prezence of the Keeng, preesoner!" King Obama spotted a chance to improve his ill mood. "Bring him here. Good. Give me his file." The king looked over the prisoner's dossier. A long list of crimes against the state, and a repeat offender. "You'll never get away with this! Never!" "Hush now, Mr. Jack. We have ways of dealing with unruly sorts such as yourself." "Praise be to Allah, seenyor." "Peh! I spit at your torture! The Free Market gives me strength!" "Oh, no, not anything as gauche as that." The King grabbed a syringe from the outstretched hand of one of his nearby breakdancing bodyguards, and plunged it into the man's helpless neck. "Now you are immune to rubella." Kyle's lingering, echoing screams of tormented horror brought a slight smile like a crack in Obama's stony brown face as he walked into his lavish velvet-lined office and shut the door behind him. He motioned for his bodyguards to leave the room, and he addressed the giant screens hanging over his desk. "Screen one on. Connect to Emperor bin Laden of Eurabia. Screen two: Hugo Chavez of the U.S.S.A.R.. Screen three: The High Elder of Zion." The three figures appeared live via satelite. "Gentlemen," began Obama darkly, "it's time to have...a conversation."
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Jul 11, 2021 15:35
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12:05 PM eastern standard time, the Muslims have vanished. Check for yourself if you don’t believe me. Where have they gone to? There is speculation, of course. Scientists mention a cosmic storm that passed the Earth on January 20. A man says they are all in caves. Certain groups lament a faulty Rapture. A woman says he has taken their power and absorbed it into himself. She means Barack Obama. I doubt it, but he does seem somehow taller. The ground rumbles at times. The breaking news says WASHINGTON DC, with red concentric circles. I’m uneasy, but what can we do? Terror is defeated and if Obama were a Muslim, he’d be just as gone as them. There’s no cause for alarm. Within months, Barack Obama has declared a war on vague unease. It’s a good idea, because frankly we could all use some peace of mind. Approval rating is higher than ever now that the Muslims had left, but I don’t think we are happy yet. His eyes are shining sometimes, as a deer’s eyes shine in a flashlight beam. Small fissures criss-cross the pavement. Trees are swaying, but the breeze is gone. Something is changing in our world. Aeroplanes don’t exist anymore. Scientists explain that the density of the air is too low to support their wings. Then how do we breathe?! We should have died by now, but I think we are evolving. Our bodies haven’t changed, but the atmosphere.. One man says it was the rapture after all, and we have since entered the Kingdom of God. Barack is now the size of an oak tree. He sleeps outside since the rains have ceased, and his skin is thick to bullets. Now he wanders through he countryside impassively. He ignores a rural photo-op. He studies a leaf for twenty days. Only a fool would call this Heaven. Satellites fall to earth like rain used to. No friction burns them away, so we trudge past countless flecks of solar pa,nel and ribbons of golden cloth. It’s a silent car crash every few hours, though cars themselves no longer run. No oxygen remains to ignite their fuel. Obama strides across the landscape, taller than the Freedom Tower. We’ve given up on assassination; all men are immortal now, and guns no longer fire. I’m starting to wish the Muslims were back. We found them with a telescope. Images of a colony on the right side of the moon. See the parts that jut from the lower right? I think they’re mosques. Soon they are visible to the naked eye, but how? Their cities are enormous. We watch them as they live and die. They have our former atmosphere; the moon is fringed with blue. “Look at how they wield their guns,” writes a man. “I always said he’d take our guns away.” They eat and sleep like we once did, building worthless ziggurats. We have everything we wanted, but oh how we envy their strife! It’s long been clear that Obama brought this uncomfortable perfection upon us, but I can’t bring myself to blame him for it. He’s reminded us all of how our lives had been discarded out of fear. I know now why he grows each day. In time, when we are ready he will reach out into space. He will raise us up in his great hand, to this new Earth that gleams like a frozen star. And if Obama does not carry us, we can climb…
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Jul 11, 2021 15:35
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hooman posted:I love that freeper who thinks the 2020 election was an op to entrap the democrats and everything is still going according to plan. Since it's all insanity, I wouldn't advise trying to figure it out because none of it will make sense to someone that hasn't shoved a box of crayons up their nose
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Jul 11, 2021 18:46
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Shaddak posted:12:05 PM eastern standard time, the Muslims have vanished. Shaddak posted:King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, Unironically better then our actual reality.
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Jul 11, 2021 18:55
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Shaddak posted:King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, stepped out of his blinged Limoscalade and marched up the gold-lined marble steps of Washington Palace. It should have been a glorious day, yet under his heavy yet exquisite crown of carved human fetus-ivory his brow was ridged deeply as he silently brooded. Still, his posse, boomboxes on their shoulders, dance-walked up the steps, chains and gats jangling over the din as they grabbed their crotches. The two turban-wearing Mexicans are my favorite and make me laugh every time
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Jul 11, 2021 19:25
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Wait, how do you grab anything, much less a syringe, out of the hand of someone who's breakdancing? It's mistakes like this that pull me out of what would otherwise be a great story. Attention to detail, folks, sheesh!! 🤨
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Jul 11, 2021 20:17
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While they aren't professional comedians, the Q-Anon Anonymous podcast has been a great laugh. Well, that type of laughing you do before breaking into tears at the existential angst that Majorie Taylor Greene has infinitely more power to shape the world than any of us ever will.
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Jul 11, 2021 20:23
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Captain Log posted:Well, that type of laughing you do before breaking into tears at the existential angst that Majorie Taylor Greene has infinitely more power to shape the world than any of us ever will. Heh, nahhh, I don't think so. Taylor Greene today is sort of like Ann Coulter twenty years ago. They're loud and obnoxious and above all, rich, so they can get on TV, but in the end, the only people who listen to them already believe that poo poo, and the rest of us just kind of tune it out, because they give us headaches. Their actual conversion rate is very near zero. To put it differently, if someone is crazy/stupid enough to actually believe something just because Majorie told them to, you wouldn't want them on your side anyway.
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Jul 11, 2021 20:37
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SocketWrench posted:Nah, dude was wearing a hat. Dalereed would demand he go lay down in the street and die If they're wearing a hat, listening to the radio, or watching the Muppets, they are targets of dalereed's hatred.
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Jul 11, 2021 21:11
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Elephant Ambush posted:The two turban-wearing Mexicans are my favorite and make me laugh every time I know it's just freeper-parody racism but I want to know more about this new sikh-chicano guard running the US, and how King Hussein earned their battlefield loyalty
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Jul 11, 2021 21:29
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:I know it's just freeper-parody racism but I want to know more about this new sikh-chicano guard running the US, and how King Hussein earned their battlefield loyalty Nitpick: Muslim-Chicano (Yeah, I'm THAT poster)
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Jul 11, 2021 22:06
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Twelve by Pies posted:If they're wearing a hat, listening to the radio, or watching the Muppets, they are targets of dalereed's hatred. Still the best post Freep has ever produced. quote:dalereed to C19fan
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Jul 11, 2021 22:09
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His heart shrank six sizes that day. Then he fell down in the street and died. His antecedents placed a hat on the corpse and much music was played. The music was from the radio. To this day, it's said some come play music at his final resting place, and much of it is Lil Nas X.
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Jul 11, 2021 22:47
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This is from the comics thread and it fits Freep real well.
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Jul 11, 2021 22:50
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I would 100% wear a hoodie that just said "Rap Band"
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Jul 11, 2021 22:51
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Linty Fresh posted:Wait, how do you grab anything, much less a syringe, out of the hand of someone who's breakdancing? It's mistakes like this that pull me out of what would otherwise be a great story. Easy, you hold out your hand and your posse intuits what you want and delivers it while doing a backflip.
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Jul 11, 2021 23:32
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Father I cannot click the book, I shall go fetch Pokemon creatures instead.
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Jul 11, 2021 23:35
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Twelve by Pies posted:Father I cannot click the book, I shall go fetch Pokemon creatures instead.  Pokemon Go get a job
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Jul 12, 2021 00:34
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Dalereed, aka Cliff Yablonsky.
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Jul 12, 2021 02:19
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Linty Fresh posted:Heh, nahhh, I don't think so. Taylor Greene today is sort of like Ann Coulter twenty years ago. They're loud and obnoxious and above all, rich, so they can get on TV, but in the end, the only people who listen to them already believe that poo poo, and the rest of us just kind of tune it out, because they give us headaches. Their actual conversion rate is very near zero. She gets a nationwide platform every time she opens her dumb mouth and a vote in congress. That's more power than any of us. Unless someone here is sitting on a bank account with eight or nine zeroes.
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Jul 12, 2021 03:29
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Does it matter if the zeroes come before or after the other numbers?
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Jul 12, 2021 05:09
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Captain Monkey posted:Does it matter if the zeroes come before or after the other numbers? Gonna have to crunch the numbers. BRB.
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Jul 12, 2021 08:33
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My financial advisor got back to me pretty quick, here's what he said - "Who are you?"
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Jul 12, 2021 09:01
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Captain Log posted:She gets a nationwide platform every time she opens her dumb mouth and a vote in congress. And a carbon footprint and hands to type angry letters to the editor with. Our side has exactly the same thing. Focus on what you can change, and all that.
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Jul 12, 2021 13:44
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 Wikipedia posted:In the 1980s, the company began to diversify into non-retail entities such as buying Dean Witter and Coldwell Banker in 1981. In 1984, Prodigy was launched as a joint venture with IBM, and the Discover credit card was introduced in 1985. All of this distracted management's attention away from the core retail business and allowed the competition to gain significant ground, culminating with Walmart surpassing Sears as the largest retailer in America in 1990. ...or all those drat kids and their rap bands killed it because they didn't know how to read catalogs. One or the other. Scratch Monkey fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Jul 12, 2021 |
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Jul 12, 2021 14:11
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Linty Fresh posted:And a carbon footprint and hands to type angry letters to the editor with. I'd argue it's different now than 20 years ago because the inmates on the right are running the asylum. MTG is in congress, Ann Coulter wrote books. Fox News was the most influential set of folks behind the previous presidency. The process that started with Goldwater has reached its logical conclusion.
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Jul 12, 2021 14:21
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Scratch Monkey posted:
Literally had one of the earliest internet platforms in partnership of IBM and the largest and most developed catalog/delivery service in the country and just never put two and two together.
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Jul 12, 2021 16:47
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Zeroisanumber posted:Literally had one of the earliest internet platforms in partnership of IBM and the largest and most developed catalog/delivery service in the country and just never put two and two together. Now I’m imagining a world where apple also never recovered and the tech giants are like IBM, Sears, and I guess still Microsoft and Facebook
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Jul 12, 2021 23:05
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Didn't the management of Sears get taken over by Ayn Rand cultists who promoted internal competition and self sabotage as corporate virtues?
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Jul 13, 2021 01:10
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7c Nickel posted:Didn't the management of Sears get taken over by Ayn Rand cultists who promoted internal competition and self sabotage as corporate virtues? Yes.
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Jul 13, 2021 01:43
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7c Nickel posted:Didn't the management of Sears get taken over by Ayn Rand cultists who promoted internal competition and self sabotage as corporate virtues? Though to be fair he bought huge chunks of the company himself through LLCs and stuff at knock down prices, so it's hard to know if he really ideologically believes that bullshit or was just using it to grift.
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Jul 13, 2021 02:03
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pseudanonymous posted:Though to be fair he bought huge chunks of the company himself through LLCs and stuff at knock down prices, so it's hard to know if he really ideologically believes that bullshit or was just using it to grift. Nah, he was into that. Otherwise he would have curtailed that after he bought those chunks--you tank the price for a bit, then bring it back up so your investment grows. Of course, he believed that randian poo poo so he thought that would be the way to bring the company back up. Whoops.
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Jul 13, 2021 02:11
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So apparently Jake Bequette, who played for the Patriots for a while a few years back, is running for GOP senator against Jack Boozman. I'm going to guess we will hear absolutely zero right wingers say that he should stick to football and shut up about politics. I caught a little Glenn Beck today too and he was talking about CRT of course, and he mentioned "Oh yeah, did you know that the United States Navy patrolled the coast of Africa from 1819-1861 [note: I may not have the years 100% correct, but it was in the early 1800s for sure] to make sure nobody brought slaves out of Africa?" What is he talking about? It sounds like bullshit flat out, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's just straight up lying, but I'm curious if something like this happened. Like maybe a slave trading company was all "Make sure nobody can get slaves out unless they go through us, and we'll give you a discount" or something? Also it took longer than I expected, but today I did finally see someone in my town flying the "Trump as Rambo" flag. Sigh. I also saw another Trump flag that was new to me, it's a red flag with the Trump logo and it says "TRUMP 2024: TAKE AMERICA BACK" e: poo poo I just realized this is the Freep thread, not the right wing media thread. Oh well, I'll leave it up anyway, and just not bother posting it there. Twelve by Pies fucked around with this message at 02:47 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Jul 13, 2021 02:28
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Importation of new slaves into the US was banned in 1808. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Act_Prohibiting_Importation_of_Slaves
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Jul 13, 2021 02:35
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Lol that this describes both Sears and the Third Reich Twelve by Pies posted:So apparently Jake Bequette, who played for the Patriots for a while a few years back, is running for GOP senator against Jack Boozman. I'm going to guess we will hear absolutely zero right wingers say that he should stick to football and shut up about politics. The slave trade in the US after 1808 was mostly interstate, primarily the old east coast plantations sending your family "down the river" to the somehow even shittier deep south states. The US navy and most others did indeed patrol and hunt down slave ships, but there was still smuggling of course. Jim Bowie of knife and Alamo fame made most of his money smuggling slaves with a french caribbean pirate. A lot of free black people were also captured by the sorts of dickheads who'd later be in the CSA cavalry, and sold into different states where no one would know their status. Between the extreme racism and the 19th-century bureaucracy, there was almost no way they'd ever be able to legally restore their freedom so for all intents and purposes slave raids were going on in the US. Due to the one-drop rule and the rampant rape plantation masters did, there were a lot of what would now be white-passing slaves too. This meant that a lot of european immigrants were captured and sold. Not in the "the irish were slaves too so shut up" way, I mean literally immigrant kids stepping off the dock into New Orléans would be captured and hauled away. There's a fairly famous case of two alsatian girls under ten getting taken to Kentucky and living most of their lives as slaves. No plantation master is going to question or care when the slaver merchant claims the gibbering vaguely french girls have a black dad. The cruelty, as always, is the point. Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Jul 13, 2021 03:07
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I remember when Glenn Beck had his own show on Fox News and would bring pseudohistorian David Barton on to amaze his viewers with stuff like "did you know WOMEN participated in the American Revolution???????????? I bet America-hating feminists never told you that! So much for America being a misogynistic country." No matter whether it's "hey the US government tried to stop the transatlantic slave trade," "there were black slaveowners," "Africans participated in the slave trade too," etc., the objective is never to deepen one's understanding of history, it's just an excuse to take context-deprived facts and conclude "GOD BLESS AMERICA AND SHUT THE gently caress UP." Enver Zogha fucked around with this message at 06:00 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Jul 13, 2021 05:36
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