[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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Serf: May 5, 2011

gonna go to the local pharmacy this weekend for a 3rd shot and just tell them i never got the first 2

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:11

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# ? May 23, 2024 13:56

Ursine Catastrophe: Nov 9, 2009; It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.

don't ask how i know; Dinosaur Gum

Louisgod posted:

curious, did they have any pre-existing conditions?

yes, they were no angel

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:11

Zmej: Nov 6, 2005

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

You missed the second half of this quote

lmfao thank you

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:12

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

A 24 year old woman my brother used to work with died of covid and everyone pointed out that it's no big deal because she was heavy.

like uh, have you looked at the rest of the country lately

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:12

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

sonatinas posted:

it�s cool kids are loving invisible

everyone in charge�s kids are well over 12

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:12

Nothus: Feb 22, 2001; Buglord

quote:

I also think it's mildly insane to expect me to sit in the house for the 90 days it could take for me to test negative when I've been vaccinated and wearing a mask except for when I'm eating.

lol at eating in a restaurant with these morons around.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:12

KlavierVogel: Feb 27, 2004; [] an old crow spoke to me [] busted leg limped down the street [] said we're both tied to our own trees [] cut me loose, cut me loose []

Petey posted:

i know there's a been a ton of drama with the falcon guy but where can i buy one of these shirts and/or get the artwork to make it myself

Huh, I just went back through my emails and I got my shirt through Threadless, but I can't find Rubby on the site anymore... I also found this link https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/23515350-no-one-will-save-you which seems to work now, but it's not where mine came from

Rubby posted the goods:

Rubby posted:

ONLY YOUR RESPIRATOR TRUST

I guess I should repost this for the new thread since I am a SHAMELESS CLOUT PARASITE. If anybody wants these in no way Limited Edition shirts...

Get yer piping hot t-shirts (or mugs or face diapers) here

https://rubby.threadless.com/designs/no-one/mens/t-shirt/regular?variation=front&color=black

They even threw a free shipping code for anything over $45: FREESHIP821 until 8/22

There are even baby and kids sizes, which, lmao

KlavierVogel fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Aug 18, 2021

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:12

Greg Legg: Oct 6, 2004

Platystemon posted:

I�m serious. She checked the boxes.

She was in her ninth day of symptoms on the twenty‐first and brunched on the twenty‐fifth.

She had never had a fever.

Bruch day minus three had this update:

That�s improvement and the third and final bullet point met. By current CDC guidance, she was good to go.

The CDC is dumber than GBS.

I was going to ask if you were loving with us! I knew the CDC guidelines were weird but I don't know anyone who actually followed them

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:13

Nocturtle: Mar 17, 2007

Der Meister posted:

everyone in charge�s kids are well over 12

Oooph another consequence of gerontocracy. Guess it's too much for them to care about their grand kids though.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:13

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Louisgod posted:

curious, did they have any pre-existing conditions?

Yeah 300 pound 60 year old diabetic with AFib also

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:18

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Nothus posted:

lol at eating in a restaurant with these morons around.

100% this. Even more than last year you have to assume that anyone testing positive is not going to quarantine themselves and that anywhere you go in public with more than a handful of people has a decent chance of having someone actively spewing COVID out in to the shared air.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:19

Forseti: May 26, 2001; To the lovenasium!

goth smoking cloves posted:

I assume all Americans means all 12+ right?

And 8 months out from their second according to the very last part of the blurb at the very bottom :lol:

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:19

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Nothus posted:

lol at eating in a restaurant with these morons around.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:20

Lacrosse: Jun 16, 2010; >:V

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

A 24 year old woman my brother used to work with died of covid and everyone pointed out that it's no big deal because she was heavy.

like uh, have you looked at the rest of the country lately

I sent out an equipment return box for an employee who died. I googled the name and found an obit but no mention of Covid. He was a heavy set mid 30s guy so I gotta wonder if it was the roni.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:20

Forseti: May 26, 2001; To the lovenasium!

Joementum posted:

it's pretty clear there's no medical evidence for that eight month delay, they just put that in there for distributional or political reasons

Gotta protect those olds first! They're the only contributing members of society since they're the only ones with money to spend and the only ones who vote

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:21

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

A 24 year old woman my brother used to work with died of covid and everyone pointed out that it's no big deal because she was heavy.

like uh, have you looked at the rest of the country lately

Obesity and hypertension are included as "pre-existing conditions" and those two conditions cover well over half of adults in the US.

Like a 300 pound asthmatic is what everyone pictures when they hear that but that's gonna also include your average 40 year old guy with a bit of a belly.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:21

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Gio posted:

my brother put his kid in daycare knowing they’d get covid, and sure enough they all got their wish within a little over a month and a half!

Like 10 million team blue yuppies sent their kids to daycare/Pre-K/pods/summer camp for the last 18 months and completely dodged the bullet, so they'll do it again this year since the parents are vaxxed now. They don't even recognize they got lucky; approximately none of the kids were wearing kf94s

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:21

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Forseti posted:

And 8 months out from their second according to the very last part of the blurb at the very bottom

Which would put me not able to get a booster until early December and gently caress that, I'm going in early October.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:21

jinx_player: Aug 25, 2018

Ice Phisherman posted:

Plagues wouldn't be a problem if we quarantined, which has been a thing for a long time.

A minority of people gently caress it up for the rest of us. They only fear violence and retribution and will not be told what to do. The only way to deal with them is to make them fear consequences or just make them face consequences...

go on...

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:22

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

External Organs posted:

Yeah 300 pound 60 year old diabetic with AFib also

this is like the platonic image of a patient that's going to have a rough time with COVID oof

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:22

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Thoguh posted:

Obesity and hypertension are included as "pre-existing conditions" and those two conditions cover well over half of adults in the US.

Like a 300 pound asthmatic is what everyone pictures when they hear that but that's gonna also include your average 40 year old guy with a bit of a belly.

There's already people trying to dig through the data and figure how much worse COVID is in certain places because we're all fat as poo poo

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:22

Johnny Cache Hit: Oct 17, 2011

Serf posted:

gonna go to the local pharmacy this weekend for a 3rd shot and just tell them i never got the first 2

fake name, fake address, �oops I don�t have any ID�. enjoy your vax

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:23

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

Forseti posted:

And 8 months out from their second according to the very last part of the blurb at the very bottom

the funny thing is this, much like every other guideline theyve set, wont be enforced at all, if half this thread getting a booster wasnt evidence enough of that.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:23

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Thoguh posted:

Which would put me not able to get a booster until early December and gently caress that, I'm going in early October.

You shoulda signed up to be an instacart worker on 2/1/21 and traveled to one of the many counties and states with plenty of doses who accepted said instacart status as eligible for the shot

Sorry if you had a job you couldn't just duck out on like white collar people have done for decades to go to their doctors appointments

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:24

Fireside Nut: Feb 10, 2010; turp

dew worm posted:

everything sucks

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:24

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Reasonably speaking they don't expect the guidelines to be effective.

If the booster has been generally approved by the third week of September, if the pharmacy that you go to has extra stock that they're going to throw out you'll almost certainly be able to get a booster regardless.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:24

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

hope they get a booster to the AZ people overseas. That thing doesn't do jack poo poo against Delta

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:25

Forseti: May 26, 2001; To the lovenasium!

Thoguh posted:

Which would put me not able to get a booster until early December and gently caress that, I'm going in early October.

I'm relatively young and got Moderna and probably would have accepted six months out without too much worry, but gently caress this eight months bullshit they pulled completely out of their rear end. Gonna get that poo poo ASAP now.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:25

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Thoguh posted:

Obesity and hypertension are included as "pre-existing conditions" and those two conditions cover well over half of adults in the US.

Like a 300 pound asthmatic is what everyone pictures when they hear that but that's gonna also include your average 40 year old guy with a bit of a belly.

Yeah, I cycle a shitload, have been eating better, and have lost a lot of weight over the past 15 months and I still have a BMI of ~28 so I'm in that higher risk group. lol

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:26

skewetoo: Mar 30, 2003

Are you a mammal with a respiratory system? Congratulations you're at medium to high risk of covid

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:27

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

Schnorkles posted:

Reasonably speaking they don't expect the guidelines to be effective.

If the booster has been generally approved by the third week of September, if the pharmacy that you go to has extra stock that they're going to throw out you'll almost certainly be able to get a booster regardless.

thats precisely why people are getting a booster: supply is plentiful and pharmacists are flushing vaccine down the drain every night. thats not an exaggeration either.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:27

Rubby: Aug 31, 2002; <3 Louby

A Bakers Cousin posted:

https://twitter.com/elisefoley/status/1427735302416838659?s=20

*Kramers into the room* oh hell.. did i miss it?

https://i.imgur.com/zuOUwnQ.mp4

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:27

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Vermont update for 8/18

99 new cases
29 currently hospitalized (+4 from yesterday)
9 in ICU (no change)
3 new deaths

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:28

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Forseti posted:

I'm relatively young and got Moderna and probably would have accepted six months out without too much worry, but gently caress this eight months bullshit they pulled completely out of their rear end. Gonna get that poo poo ASAP now.

nah 8 months makes sense in the dumb sort of "well we're seeing breakthrough cases now that may be more concentrated in the first vaccinated patients who got vaxxed in end December and beginning January"

just look at the calendar and circle today's date versus the first vaccination, add a little wiggle room and SCIENCE

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:28

Bruce Hussein Daddy: Dec 26, 2005; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God

Let's see how back to school is going.

Date School/Location # of Positive
COVID-19 Tests
August 16, 2021 Hillcrest HS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Welcome ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Wade Hampton HS 1
August 16, 2021 Taylors ES 4 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Riverside MS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Travelers Rest HS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 League MS Academy 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Stone ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Plain ES 2
August 16, 2021 Berea HS 1
August 16, 2021 Woodland ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Dunbar Child Development Center 1
August 16, 2021 Summit Drive ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Sara Collins ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Fork Shoals ES 1
August 16, 2021 Berea HS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Rudolph Gordon School 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Eastside HS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Oakview ES 4 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Buena Vista ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Blue Ridge MS 1
August 16, 2021 Thomas E. Kerns ES 1
August 16, 2021 Blue Ridge HS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Lake Forest ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 East North Street Academy ES 2
August 16, 2021 Northwood MS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Hughes MS Academy 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Mauldin ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Brushy Creek ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Sterling School 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Ralph Chandler MS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Skyland ES 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Mountain View ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 J.L.Mann HS 4 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Crestview ES 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Wade Hampton HS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Greer HS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Woodmont HS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Slater Marietta ES 1
August 16, 2021 Brook Glenn ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Sue Cleveland ES 1
August 16, 2021 Mauldin HS 3
August 16, 2021 Greenbrier ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Greer HS 1
August 16, 2021 Heritage ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Heritage ES 1
August 16, 2021 Mauldin MS 1
August 16, 2021 Blythe Academy ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Ellen Woodside ES 3
August 16, 2021 Ellen Woodside ES 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Fountain Inn ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 League MS Academy 1
August 16, 2021 Greer MS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Plain ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Bryson MS 3

hmm. Seems bad.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:28

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

Stevie Lee posted:

The co-owner of the Westside Journal weekly newspaper used his voice as a columnist to widely share his doubts about the vaccine and his mistrust of the health experts in the U.S. who have been urging everyone to get it.

“I do not trust the Federal Government,” West wrote recently. “I do not trust Dr. Fauci, I do not trust the medical profession, nor the pharmaceutical giants.”

But something happened to change his mind: Two of West’s close friends became ill with the virus, and a third died. Rattled and stressed, he prayed for guidance. Then, when his mother and another relative both urged him to get vaccinated, he took it as a sign from God. West drove to the Winn Dixie supermarket and rolled up his sleeve for the first of two injections of the Moderna vaccine.

“All of a sudden, it hit real close to home,” he said.

reactionary mindset

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:29

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

Schnorkles posted:

hope they get a booster to the AZ people overseas. That thing doesn't do jack poo poo against Delta

lol Australians are hosed.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:29

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Schnorkles posted:

this is like the platonic image of a patient that's going to have a rough time with COVID oof

Pretty much. We will see how it goes!

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:30

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

My son got his MMR vaccines a couple of days ago and my extremely antivaxx father in law is claiming that he's completely different and if I stop posting its because I've been arrested for attacking him

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 13:56

Rubby: Aug 31, 2002; <3 Louby

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Let's see how back to school is going.

Date School/Location # of Positive
COVID-19 Tests
August 16, 2021 Hillcrest HS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Welcome ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Wade Hampton HS 1
August 16, 2021 Taylors ES 4 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Riverside MS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Travelers Rest HS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 League MS Academy 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Stone ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Plain ES 2
August 16, 2021 Berea HS 1
August 16, 2021 Woodland ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Dunbar Child Development Center 1
August 16, 2021 Summit Drive ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Sara Collins ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Fork Shoals ES 1
August 16, 2021 Berea HS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Rudolph Gordon School 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Eastside HS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Oakview ES 4 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Buena Vista ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Blue Ridge MS 1
August 16, 2021 Thomas E. Kerns ES 1
August 16, 2021 Blue Ridge HS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Lake Forest ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 East North Street Academy ES 2
August 16, 2021 Northwood MS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Hughes MS Academy 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Mauldin ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Brushy Creek ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Sterling School 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Ralph Chandler MS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Skyland ES 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Mountain View ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 J.L.Mann HS 4 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Crestview ES 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Wade Hampton HS 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Greer HS 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Woodmont HS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Slater Marietta ES 1
August 16, 2021 Brook Glenn ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Sue Cleveland ES 1
August 16, 2021 Mauldin HS 3
August 16, 2021 Greenbrier ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Greer HS 1
August 16, 2021 Heritage ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Heritage ES 1
August 16, 2021 Mauldin MS 1
August 16, 2021 Blythe Academy ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Ellen Woodside ES 3
August 16, 2021 Ellen Woodside ES 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Fountain Inn ES 2 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 League MS Academy 1
August 16, 2021 Greer MS 3 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Plain ES 1 (student not in bldg during contagious period)
August 16, 2021 Bryson MS 3

hmm. Seems bad.

got 'em
https://i.imgur.com/oJFL1nN.mp4

# ? Aug 18, 2021 16:31

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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