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Jun 11, 2024 04:38
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- sticklefifer
- Nov 11, 2003
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![](https://fi.somethingawful.com/images/title-banned.gif)
by VideoGames
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I can't stop focusing on what looks like half a calico cat wearing a wig.
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Aug 21, 2021 19:59
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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Transformer spitting out nothing but unvarnished truth and luckily it didn't put any dates on because this one is pretty much timeless.
quote:I know I joked earlier that WWE was gonna turn into one of those AI generated "childrens cartoons" on Youtube with Frozen Elsa and Spiderman and Sirenhead all playing Among Us or whatever but somehow it feels like it's becoming reality at this point.
I was too dumb to see it early on in this situation, but WWE really has no clue what they're doing right now.
You're talking about 3 weeks into the draft and that's just gonna end up in WWE doing more harm than good.
WWE has a top star who is their most iconic thing to the wrestling world, and no real plans in place to put him over.
More importantly, how's all this going to affect the NXT brand?
It's just a disaster.
This is what will happen: John Cena has a match on RAW or SmackDown, or a match on a RAW or SmackDown PPV, or something like that, which means that the bigger names will get relegated to the mid card or lower card.
Raw's mid card will not be able to compete with NXT's.
And when fans see this happening, they'll be like "NXT sucks, I don't want to go back", and they won't go back.
And how are they gonna make money?
Roode vs Nakamura will be up next, and I'd really like to see Nakamura get back to working his own style, not
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Aug 23, 2021 15:24
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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I think we can all agree, the hair was captured perfectly.
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Aug 23, 2021 15:56
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- Armitage
- Aug 16, 2005
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![](https://fi.somethingawful.com/safs/titles/9b/85/00082937.0002.gif)
"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
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quote:
The WWE Universe seemed confused at last night's RAW match between Nia Jax and Charlotte Flair. The match was really awkward, and fans seemed to notice that both competitors were seemingly shooting on each other. Jax still put Flair in the leg lock after the match. Flair went after the leg, but Jax put her in the leg lock. Nia locked the hold in again, this time for an extended period of time. Flair tapped out.
Many viewers believe that Jax planted the leg lock on the same leg where she injured Bayley. Jax put Bayley in the leg lock in what many thought was a brutally stiff maneuver. If Jax was using the same leg, she's most likely using the same move. Here's how wrestling fans reacted to the crazy match.
"Uh...did Nia Jax just PUT HER LEG IN THE LEGLOCK??"
Did Nia Jax just PUT HER LEG IN THE LEGLOCK? pic.twitter.com/KfKpD35JwP — Kyle Anderson (@kyleboore) December 4, 2018
Jax's leglock was the same leg she injured Bayley with.
You can go home again
This week Nia Jax "repaired her relationship" with #CharlotteFlair after twisting Bayley's knee last week. She was actually bending her leg out. #WWE #RAW #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/nt3YKvqiVt — Cena Inc (@JCenaInc) December 4, 2018
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Aug 31, 2021 20:50
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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quote:Triple H wanted so badly to spill the tea on all the bad stuff going on in WWE but every story he could think of where someone was doing something wrong backstage he was standing nearby doing something even worse! When Ryback was working the wellness policy to justify steroid supplements for his destroyed testosterone production, Triple H was selling him the steroids! When Mark Carrano was packing up women's wrestling gear into trash bags and sending them out to fired employees, Triple H was packing up employees into trash cans and throwing them in the dumpster! When Vince McMahon shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, Triple H shot a man out of a cannon just to watch him fly! When Seth Rollins was confronted with an opening to reclaim the WWE title, Triple H made sure Rollins lost the title to the Undertaker! All the way through, his backstage reign of terror culminated in a major open contract signing where he demanded, for the first time in WWE history, that all the superstars in the company come into the ring and apologize to him and shake his hand! Then he stole their people and put them into his match against The Shield and made sure it was more a death match than a street fight!
Triple H got the most important WWE superstars in the world to bow and apologize to him, all for his personal gain!
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Sep 2, 2021 02:25
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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reignofevil fucked around with this message at 01:35 on Sep 4, 2021
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Sep 4, 2021 01:13
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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quote:Sounds like the progress boys really should have stuck with running their very successful indie promotion as opposed to hitching their wagons up to an empty warehouse show that can be shuttered at any moment by people in another country, but what do I know? Maybe a booming independent business is the only way for Amore to do his thing.
Cut to two days later and Jason Jordan is in the ring, once again chanting for him to call himself by the name of this fall guy. He even sings it, adding to the madness of a cruiserweight’s trying to declare himself champion after coming up short in an actual title match just last week. He also breaks out his father’s signature “Attitude Adjustment,” but I think that should be changed to the “Big loving DDT” because it’s what Bray Wyatt would do. “When he hit that DDT on me, my heart stopped. I thought I was gonna die. If he can do that to me, how are you gonna stop him? What the hell is wrong with you?” The crowd, of course, responds “it’s not wrong with them, Jason. It’s wrong with me.” Well played, Bray.
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Sep 5, 2021 16:39
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- Armitage
- Aug 16, 2005
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![](https://fi.somethingawful.com/safs/titles/9b/85/00082937.0002.gif)
"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
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quote:
The WWE announced today that they have signed 2020 Olympic Gold Medalist and five-time world champion Shawn Daivari to a contract. He joins Paige, Jack Swagger, Drew Gulak, and Rich Swann as new talents to join the RAW brand.
WWE announced the following:
Shawn Daivari to sign with WWE
After already competing on Monday nights for Global Force Wrestling, Shawn Daivari has found a new home on the WWE Raw roster.
The former ECW World Heavyweight Champion will join fellow debutant and Raw Superstar Jack Swagger on WWE's flagship weekly show, as first reported by ESPN.
The six-time Cruiserweight champion was one of the stars who brought rapid-fire, high-flying action to the ECW brand. He left the company in late 2006 and joined TNA a month later. The Maryland native returned to WWE last year but was quickly released in early 2016. He signed a short-term contract with the sports entertainment company in December and spent the last few months training at the WWE Performance Center.
A member of the famed Daivari family, which includes his father, Mo, who is a second-generation pro wrestler, Daivari joined the world of pro wrestling after winning the 1990 Greco-Roman Junior Heavyweight Championship and the 1991 National High School Wrestling Championship.
You can watch his last WWE match below.
Follow Raj Giri on Twitter at @RajGiri_303. Got a news tip or correction? Send it to us by clicking here.
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Sep 5, 2021 17:04
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- zetamind2000
- Nov 6, 2007
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![](https://fi.somethingawful.com/images/avatars/pulp082.png)
I'm an alien.
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Let's see how Vince reacts to All Out
quote:
Frustrated with the success of last night's AEW All Out, Vince McMahon announced that the main event of this week's Raw would be Triple H vs Fake Daniel Bryan and Fake Adam Cole. And as expected, the WWE decided to air pre-recorded segments to portray this angle. It all started off when Raw GM Baron Corbin announced that the main event would be between Chris Jericho and the returning Ronda Rousey. There was also a mention of Finn Balor, who will be fighting against Bobby Lashley. To help the two big men, Corbin suggested that the AEW Triple H, Austin Aries, and Adam Cole will be aiding the men in the ring.
Next, the real life Triple H interrupted the show and walked down to the ring. He attacked Corbin, then announced that the battle between Jericho and Rousey would be a No Disqualification match, while Balor would go up against Lashley. It also appears that the main event of Raw is now a Triple Threat match. He gave the microphone to Bobby Lashley, who accepted the challenge and then answered Triple H's question on whether he wants the main event spot at WrestleMania 35.
But Corbin interrupted Lashley and pointed out that it was yet another match where Balor is going to be on the losing end. He then asked him about the help of AEW, and he said that Lashley will fight Lashley in the ring alone. With that, he walked out of the ring, while AEW's Cole
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Sep 6, 2021 10:25
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- Armitage
- Aug 16, 2005
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![](https://fi.somethingawful.com/safs/titles/9b/85/00082937.0002.gif)
"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
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I think the WWE will counter All Out in a totally different fashion!
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The WWE held an emergency creative meeting today, following the highly successful AEW All Out Pay Per View last night. We can tell you that the WWE has come up with a plan, and they have announced for tonight's show that AJ Styles will be in a match with Chad Gable. That match will be a Non Title Match.
This will be the first WWE match for Gable since he teamed with Shelton Benjamin and Heath Slater to defeat The Revival on RAW a couple of weeks ago.
The match will be contested in a "Free for All" style match. Gable will be allowed to do his signature spots. The biggest "Hit and Miss" spot for this match might have to be if they do AJ Styles' Phenomenal Forearm, where Gable brings him down and Styles floats right back into the ring for the pin.
We will also get to see a Women's Battle Royal for the first time since the 2018 Superstar Shakeup. We have seen the Superstars who are going to be in it released via social media.
Updated WWE RAW Tag Team Title Match Card
The B Team (c) vs. The Revival
Finn Balor vs. Drew McIntyre
Zelina Vega vs. Ruby Riott
Elias vs. Bobby Lashley
The Revival (c) vs. The B Team
Nia Jax vs. Natalya
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (c) vs. R-Truth and Carmella
Antonio Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Jinder Mahal and Sunil Singh
Smackdown Women's Title Match
Asuka (c) vs. Becky Lynch
Ronda Rousey and Mickie James vs. The Miz and Asuka
AEW is doomed! Not.
Armitage fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Sep 6, 2021
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Sep 6, 2021 19:06
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- sticklefifer
- Nov 11, 2003
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![](https://fi.somethingawful.com/images/title-banned.gif)
by VideoGames
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But Corbin interrupted Lashley and pointed out that it was yet another match where Balor is going to be on the losing end. He then asked him about the help of AEW, and he said that Lashley will fight Lashley in the ring alone.
I would 100% believe that WWE would book a match of Lashley kicking his own rear end for 10 minutes while trying to fight off being possessed by The Fiend.
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Sep 6, 2021 21:39
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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Nucleus sampling top p: .79
Sampling temperature: .88
quote:Kevin Owen's contract is gonna be up pretty quick and if WWE doesn't act fast they will be literally one injury away from having nobody on their entire roster across three separate shows.
The fans aren't happy about the state of the company and they aren't going to be happy for a long time.
Even if you are happy with the booking of the company, the fact that you are being forced to watch the same show twice a week for a year is killing the spirit of the fans.
I've been a fan of the WWE for 30 years and I can honestly say that the company has never been this bad.
It's like a car crash.
You know it's going to be bad, but you can't help yourself from watching.
Well, maybe that's not true.
Maybe it's better that you can't help yourself from watching.
That way, you don't have to suffer with all of the other fans that are sitting in their homes, eyes bulging out of their heads, trying to find something on the TV to take their mind off of the fact that they are trapped in a car wreck.
I have no idea
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Sep 8, 2021 02:55
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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This one just kept going and going and honestly I had to pick a spot to call it because otherwise I'd never allow it to stop.
quote:The pilot's voice came over the intercom, "Well we took off late but we're going to fly faster"
Bryan Alveraz looked incredulously at the intercom system. "Fly faster? Why don't we always fly that fast? What are we waiting on here?"
"We have permission from the tower to do so" A military official came on the intercom, "We're meeting some other pilots and are going to cross a gap to be next to another fleet."
"Well they have been making it difficult to contact them on the radio"
"Not quite, they have been holding the channel open. They say they have a rift that's blocking us from getting to them."
Bryan looked confused. "They said they have a rift blocking us? They're so far away and didn't even want to share it with us?"
The man replied, "Maybe the rift is blocked from all sides. Maybe the other fleet is the one they are actually with."
Bryan was not ready to accept that. "Look how they're keeping the channel open, how they're trying to talk to us, how they're flying right by." He turned to the radio, "Don't they realize how dangerous this is?"
"Bryan this is controlled airspace."
Bryan angrily slammed the radio off. "They don't care, they don't have to!"
"Bryan, calm down. Let me try to explain it to you. This is combat piloting. If you think I'm not going to do anything, you have another thing coming!"
"You don't understand! They're a stealth ship. They can't be seen. How can they help?"
"Bryan, we know what this situation is, and we're trying to do what's right. Just trust me."
Bryan sighed, "I don't even know what you're saying."
"It's alright, I have my orders. I'm going to stay with you until the ships next to us start to go through the rift."
"Can I have your number too? I'd love to stay in touch with you."
"You're going to be safer right where you are!"
"Ok."
Edit- I have since discovered I have transposed the A and the E in Bryan Alvarez's name. Unfortunately fixing it would also be harming the integrity of our Talk To Transformer records process and would be misleading the public about exactly what prompt resulted in what results. I'll get it right next time Bryan I promise!
reignofevil fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Sep 8, 2021
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Sep 8, 2021 17:22
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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quote:Cody was changing the name of The Nightmare Family. Some proposed names: The Frightmare Manly, Frightmare Man's Fear, Frightmare Manly Fear, Frightmare Manly Men, etc.
But, there were also a lot of character suggestions like Frightmare Man's Brothers, Frightmare Man's Strangers, Frightmare Man's Creepers, Frightmare Manly Stalkers, Frightmare Manly Gangsters, etc.
But they voted to make them Frightmare Manly Fists. Cody thought it was the best name and requested we give the family a P. A. name in order to get through the taunts they'd have to endure from Steve. In the post-credit scene, all the Frightmare Men had their new faces painted with the "F" from the movie, and they were walking down the street when the FIST logo flashed on the screen.
Steeeeeeeve!
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Sep 9, 2021 21:28
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- zetamind2000
- Nov 6, 2007
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![](https://fi.somethingawful.com/images/avatars/pulp082.png)
I'm an alien.
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God dammit Vince
quote:
It's well known that Vince McMahon's knowledge of pop culture is at least several years behind the times with the most recent example being when he told Karrion Kross to replace his gladiator gimmick with something based on the Homestuck character Sburb.
After having a quick look through the office for 'shocking' kiddy stuff we decided the best way to do this was simply to do something that completely wiped out all previous references to Young Justice.
I believe we also said something about finding super hats which is probably a lie. But we've decided to do this as a joke, hopefully the people in our office won't fall into the trap of believing our nonsense.
What will happen now that we've erased all references to Young Justice is, of course, unknown. I'm guessing we'll see some people asking why there are now Young Justice references in Young Justice references in a while.
We've been in this office long enough now that we know for sure that 'we're leaving the room' isn't the code to activate an earthquake, that 'baking soda is the easiest way to clean your gun' isn't the name of a game and that 'The Incredibles 2 is releasing in the UK in 18 months' isn't the name of a show.
More soon!
Jurassic Quest now booking time at Birmingham NEC
TRAVEL BACKWARDS: How much will it cost to travel back in time at the Jurassic Quest event?
Jurassic Quest takes over Birmingham NEC this weekend
Birmingham Thundersticks prepare
Actually, Sburb was money. It's all Karrion Kross's fault
quote:
The kids just weren't interested in Karrion Kross's new gimmick so he had no choice but to change it to someone with the same, mixed ethnicity but a different name.
Thus, the Irishman was born.
This confuses some people because Karrion was born and grew up in Ireland, but he grew up speaking English, so he has no Irish accent, in fact, Irish people are very angry at this show of nationalistic pride.
Here is a man that, even after many interviews in the press, still does not understand English.
And he would not be my first choice to play a "peacemaker".
The Irishman has gained a reputation for verbally abusing the English press.
At one point, the subject of the "Karrion Kross" character's ethnic background came up.
Karrion had been very upset when the Anglophile press had, out of ignorance and fear of "looking racist", suggested that he was from Birmingham, England, because of his accent.
(I don't blame them; Karrion was rather annoying and pretty clearly bilingual.)
However, Karrion has since grown weary of trying to explain that he is, in fact, Irish.
The subject comes up every time, every time he is asked, every time he tries to give an interview.
One interviewer, in exasperation, pointed out to Karrion that he had, after all, been on British television and on British television he is Irish.
Still, Karrion was not convinced.
The essence of his argument is that even though he was born in Ireland, he had spent most of his life in England and, therefore, he was not Irish.
However, he pointed out, the person he called the most Irish in the world, he described as being Irish (referring to none other than Celine Dion).
So, then, how did Karrion end up in Maine?
Karrion says that Maine was the one place he considered moving in with other Irish people and learning to speak the language in some depth.
He wanted to get rid of the silly Irish accent
zetamind2000 fucked around with this message at 19:13 on Sep 13, 2021
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Sep 13, 2021 19:08
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- reignofevil
- Nov 7, 2008
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quote:WWE: Of course they will re-sign with us. Where else they gonna go? Bingo balls? HAW HAW!
Writer: umm sir… there is actually other places now.
WWE: yer FIIIRED! Now where is that Little Adam guy? He might be on Main Event tonight. <giggles while talking about short guys pissing themselves>
Writer2: he resigned sir.
WWE: what did you say?!?
Writer2: I’ll go get him.
WWE: Someone get Ricochet!
Ricochet: Yes sir! You look great sir!
WWE: Bathrooms need cleaning and here’s your weeks pay! <flips a nickel at him>
Ricochet: Golly gee sir - thank you. Happy to be heeeerreeeee!
WWE: and you could always sell “Ricochet’s Cheap Magic Trick” to Nick Patrick.
Ricochet: WHAT?!? Sir that would be my own doing sir! I can’t speak on the actions of Nick Patrick.
WWE: <the lights in the arena go black while the Director of Research is desperately looking for a little black book>
Bomber: Only people who get on the wrong side of me end up in the iron lung.
WWE: <looks at his watches> Alright, Bomber. Time to see if Nick Patrick has gotten fired yet.
Script: <insert generic scene about a time travel thing>
Nick Patrick: Bunkers he's not. gently caress it. I'm going to make a new world, a new era!
WWE: what do you mean you made a new era? <clears throat> “NO!”
Nick Patrick: yes I mean, I'm going to make my own time machine!
WWE: what did you say? <beat> What does that have to do with this?
Nick Patrick: Um, I'm gonna go time travel. <looks at his watch> Come on "B-Man" let's go time travel! <checks his watch again> drat it! Hey, Where's the transporter?
B-Man: *Chuckling* Sorry Nick, it was really slow.
Nick Patrick: WAAAAARGH! gently caress! Oh, it's coming! *looks at his watch while it's coming down out of the sky and almost hits him> Dammit!
WWE: <sleepily comes in with popcorn, laughs at Nick’s death and continues making film>
Written by Bill “Boolean” Sawyer
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Sep 14, 2021 01:40
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 11, 2024 04:38
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- a cyborg mug
- Mar 8, 2010
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![](http://fi.somethingawful.com/safs/titles/d4/02/00161480.0002.jpg)
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Bryan Alvarez posted:
Maybe tonight I’ll tell her the story of Eva Marie and Doudrop.
Well, there was a woman that showed up with another woman. And the one woman gave the other woman a name she didn’t like. And then, like three weeks later, they decided they weren’t friends anymore. And the lady that didn’t like her name all of a sudden thought it was cool. And then they had a conflict and the one lady beat the other one.
So she became like, “No, no, no, I don’t want to get beat by my stepdaughter.” So I told her she could name me anything. And I was like, “Eva Marie.”
Well, of course, I saw my parents. And I told them I wanted to be Eva Marie’s stepdad. And they were like, “No, no, no, no.”
So we went on the Air Force base to meet her mom.
So her mom comes out in this type of shirt, and she had long, really curly hair. She walked up the steps, and I said, “Okay, I like that haircut.”
And then, all of a sudden, she puts this down, and she’s got a belly. And it just looked like she wasn’t pregnant at all. She was just fat, because she was eating so much food. And she told us, “My daughter’s my husband. I’m his mom.”
It didn’t even make any sense. She had this image of herself in the beginning, and then all of a sudden she’s pregnant, and he’s gonna be her baby’s daddy, and I’m gonna be her stepdad.
I said, “No, no, no, no. I’m not gonna be a stepdad. You’re my wife.”
She said, “No, I am.”
I said, “No, you are not.”
And I asked them to leave the house. And I called the Air Force and had her taken to the hospital.
So that’s the story of how I met Eva Marie.
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Sep 16, 2021 06:26
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