[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

McNugget Buddy posted:

https://twitter.com/jen_rice_/status/1431030964944318471

loving christ

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 28, 2024 04:45

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

this thread is ping-ponging between amazing content and horrific poo poo, what a ride

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:44

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Lacrosse posted:

lmao 3,110 new cases for Washington State today

lol love it, loving great

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:44

Atrocious Joe: Sep 2, 2011

https://twitter.com/serafimmazurs/status/1431073635318603783?s=20
https://twitter.com/JoshuaMellin/status/1431081813003354115?s=20
https://twitter.com/consequence/status/1431110919195615235?s=20

the super spreader events in Chicago are getting weird

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:44

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

^^^^

oh my gently caress

McNugget Buddy posted:

https://twitter.com/jen_rice_/status/1431030964944318471

loving nightmare country my god

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:47

Spoondick: Jun 9, 2000

ivermectin?

drat near killed em!

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:48

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

VomitOnLino posted:

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:48

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

U-DO Burger posted:

this thread is ping-ponging between amazing content and horrific poo poo, what a ride

That's America! l;ol

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:49

SchrodingersCat: Aug 23, 2011

Just checked the numbers in MI and the state ICU occupancy is over 80% as of 8/25. Most of the major hospitals in the state are pushing 92/94% total occupancy. Most schools and universities don't open til next week.

I predict Michigan will run out of ICU beds by mid-September.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:49

spaceblancmange: Apr 19, 2018; #essereFerrari

McNugget Buddy posted:

https://twitter.com/brenontheroad/status/1429624844379824129

This is from February

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:51

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Google Butt posted:

so glad to spend the prime years of my live hosed by covid really it's great 👍

lol had a convo about this with a family friend
like what's the best age-range to be dealing with this bullshit
friend thought 65+, to either embrace sweet death, or be retired off in the country/wherever
i thought 0-2, since you won't remember poo poo, then again this will go on for several more years so gently caress and then you'll grow up brain fogged while climate collapse happens

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:52

Covok: May 27, 2013; Yet where is that woman now? Tell me, in what heave does she reside? None of them. Because no God bothered to listen or care. If that is what you think it means to be a God, then you and all your teachings are welcome to do as that poor women did. And vanish from these realms forever.

gently caress America.

Garbage nation.

I legit want to emigrate anywhere else. The imperialism and evil of the west must end.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:52

VomitOnLino: Jun 13, 2005; Sometimes I get lost.

spaceblancmange posted:

This is from February

This isn't - it's from last week:

https://www.yomiuri.co.jp/choken/kijironko/cknews/20210818-OYT8T50030/

Again this isn't some fringe newspaper either. It's the ~~second or third~~ (forgot) most widely read newspaper here.
EDIT: Just checked. It's the single MOST read newspaper here. Truly truly the stupidest timeline...

Some idiot they interviewed posted:

Now's the time to eat some Horse Paste!

VomitOnLino fucked around with this message at 06:55 on Aug 27, 2021

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:53

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

That's America! l;ol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEuRWLgWMjo

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:53

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

VomitOnLino posted:

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:53

Mokelumne Trekka: Nov 22, 2015; Soon.

This threads obession with that terrifying christmas tree goddamn

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:55

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

cr0y posted:

Jesus Christ no one in this thread needs to lose their poo poo, get you and all your loved ones the booster and hunker down. You'll live.

gonna take my kids to my next jab, after the tech readies the jab, i'll knock them out, split the jab between my 2 kids, and peace out
perfect plan

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:57

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

mod sassinator posted:

give me a pizza with horse paste mayo on it please

excuse me i ordered this with horse paste, not horseradish paste.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:57

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Asproigerosis posted:

6 of the patients in the ER right now are covid kids under the age of 10.

Just the flu kids are immune

lol

nomad2020 posted:

The back of a new nursing student's ID badge. was the newest link when I looked just now.

lmao

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:57

Helith: Nov 5, 2009; Basket of Adorables

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

This threads obession with that terrifying christmas tree goddamn

It would only be truly terrifying if it was trying to force you to eat the horse paste imo

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:58

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Another negative covid test for me. Yay!

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:58

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Tzen posted:

gonna take my kids to my next jab, after the tech readies the jab, i'll knock them out, split the jab between my 2 kids, and peace out
perfect plan

welcome to the pharmacy, 47

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:59

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

is donda any good?

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:59

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Lovelyn posted:

He died.

Even days before he died, he didn't seem human anymore. When I checked his pupils, his eyes were half-way rolled to the back of his head. He felt clammy and puffy. His vent settings were so high - 100% O2, PEEP 16 and he was satting in the low 90s. The air escaped into his abdominal and chest cavities, and by the end of the day, into his neck as well. When I touched him, he didn't feel like a person, he felt like an air mattress. It was surreal.

He couldn't maintain his sats - they kept dropping lower and lower, and his heart sped up to try to carry what little oxygen was available to the rest of his body. HR in the 100s. 110s. 120s. 80s. 40s. 0. His heart was tired and starved of oxygen and it couldn't pump anymore.

Doc called it after 3 rounds of CPR.

But at least I know my bosses appreciate all of our efforts because they gave us

loving hell

# ? Aug 27, 2021 06:59

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

BONGHITZ posted:

is donda any good?

Who

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:00

spaceblancmange: Apr 19, 2018; #essereFerrari

VomitOnLino posted:

This isn't - it's from last week:

https://www.yomiuri.co.jp/choken/kijironko/cknews/20210818-OYT8T50030/

Again this isn't some fringe newspaper either. It's the ~~second or third~~ (forgot) most widely read newspaper here.
EDIT: Just checked. It's the single MOST read newspaper here. Truly truly the stupidest timeline...

lol this is pretty much just a translated FLCCC press release

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:00

SchrodingersCat: Aug 23, 2011

Tzen posted:

^^^^ oh my gently caress

loving nightmare country my god

America is nearing collapse, it will be over soon.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:01

Zisky: May 6, 2003; PM me and I will show you my tits

BONGHITZ posted:

is donda any good?

Nah she's been dead as gently caress for years.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:01

text editor: Jan 8, 2007

McNugget Buddy posted:

https://twitter.com/jen_rice_/status/1431030964944318471

they are trying to re-assert themselves because the moratorium took away landlord's God-given right to product no value whatsoever while sucking the blood of the working class

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:02

strange feelings re Daisy: Aug 2, 2000

McNugget Buddy posted:

https://twitter.com/jen_rice_/status/1431030964944318471

gently caress this evil country

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:06

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Mokelumne Trekka posted:

This threads obession with that terrifying christmas tree goddamn

It literally killed people

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:07

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

SchrodingersCat posted:

Keighlie? More like Neighlie, amirite?

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:08

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

Tzen posted:

lol had a convo about this with a family friend
like what's the best age-range to be dealing with this bullshit
friend thought 65+, to either embrace sweet death, or be retired off in the country/wherever
i thought 0-2, since you won't remember poo poo, then again this will go on for several more years so gently caress and then you'll grow up brain fogged while climate collapse happens

but if you're 0-2 how can you read the thread and post 'lol' and 'lmao'

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:08

Solarin: Nov 15, 2007

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

It literally killed people

not nearly as many as the war on Christmas though

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:09

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Fix posted:

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:11

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Mr Hootington posted:

https://twitter.com/katie_martin_fx/status/1430850900592144385?s=19

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:11

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

gradenko_2000 posted:

https://twitter.com/dsacathcaucus/status/1430547612206260225?s=19

# ? Aug 27, 2021 07:12

Covok: May 27, 2013; Yet where is that woman now? Tell me, in what heave does she reside? None of them. Because no God bothered to listen or care. If that is what you think it means to be a God, then you and all your teachings are welcome to do as that poor women did. And vanish from these realms forever.