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I talked with my psych and we're trying Adderall, 5mg 2x/day to start then up to 10mg. It's subtle but the effect is definitely there- I still feel quite a hump to start doing things, but once I do get started it's easier to keep going. Thanks for the advice all, I was so afraid to bring this up with my psych!
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Aug 16, 2021 13:27
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Lemony posted:I've been thinking recently about how many unconscious coping mechanisms I developed growing up, some healthier than others. I've been thinking about this a little. I always thought of myself as a laid-back guy who prefers to play things by ear and improvise, but is that just me coping with actually being unable to plan stuff? Who knows? What even is my personality anymore, and what's (potential) ADHD? On the upside, finally my appointment is booked for getting assessed. 9th of May 2022, then a few months wait after that for titration to start meds, so hopefully by about this time next year, I might be able to see how I react to medication (assuming it is ADHD that I have).
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Aug 16, 2021 14:13
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JayMax posted:Thanks for taking the time to respond to my anxious venting. I guess I struggle to find a balance between my need for structure and reminders and such and not straddling her with all the mental workload. My biggest piece of advice is just keep doing this. A lot. Consistently. And without any shame about what you're bringing to the other party. It's really the only way to be successful living with someone who doesn't have ADHD, unless you REALLY have your stuff together. Even then, ADHD people tend to have odd ways of doing things that help them see the process through, so it's best to be very direct and open about it. As for the dishes, I used to loving SUCK at washing the dishes. Then I read this article about a wife who wrote into some Dear Someone thing about how her husband did a bunch of tiny things that showed that he just didn't care. One of the biggest ones was the dishes, and specifically her feeling that him leaving dishes in the sink meant he was expecting someone else to take care of it, specifically her, even though that someone didn't have the bandwidth to handle that. So, I baked it into my morning routine. I have an aggressively structured morning routine, basically what I've dubbed "the bare minimum". Shower (take meds), clean the cat boxes, feed the cats/change water, clean up the living room a bit, do the dishes, take out trash/recycle as needed. I do this roughly every morning and it's helped a ton with making me worry less about forgetting something like the dishes or the cat litter. bagmonkey fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Aug 16, 2021 |
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Aug 16, 2021 15:50
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Lemony posted:For instance, I was realizing that so many ways I've developed of managing things in my life involves removing as many impediments as possible, regardless of how small. That way, if my brain suddenly flips the switch that makes me think I could do dishes right now, I can just do them. If there's anything I'd have to do first, even really minor things, it creates a false barrier for my brain and I often just wouldn't do the thing. Basically, having to take advantage of my impulsivity to actually start something before my brain changes tack again. Once I started I would generally be fine, because I'd focus in and finish the thing to the exclusion of all else, so long as it wasn't really turning my brain off.  1) Lots of times, I have an impulse to, say, do a chore (like cleaning the kitchen floor) but then I realize that there's another chore I need to do first (like cleaning the kitchen counters), otherwise I'll have to do the chore again. The longer I think about it, the more and more chores I "need to do first" in order to optimize the cleaning process, until I finally either get overwhelmed by the sheer number of chores I now have to do, or I realize the actual Step 1 is a chore I loathe doing with all of my heart. So typically I then gave up and didn't do anything. What I've now learned to do is just go with the impulse to do the first chore that came to mind. Who cares if I have to clean the kitchen floor again? It's better to clean it twice than not at all. This is also one way I know my medication doesn't work as well as it used to. I used to clean my entire apartment top to bottom, every Saturday morning, and had the proper order of the chores down pat. Now it's a struggle. (Now everything is a struggle.) 2) Once in a while, there will be some heinous chore that I've put off for months and months, and one day I just....kinda look up and realize I'm in the middle of doing it. Without ever having psyched myself up for it at all. It's like my Executive Function is a lovely office boss that acts as a bottleneck, and the other parts of my brain are the employees, and they decided amongst themselves that if they need to wait for the boss to authorize the project, nothing will get done, so they just roll up their sleeves and get to work when the boss is out to lunch. I wish I could activate that miraculous ability on command, but I guess that's kind of the nature of the miracle, that it happens without conscious deliberation.
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Aug 16, 2021 16:57
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bagmonkey posted:My biggest piece of advice is just keep doing this. A lot. Consistently. And without any shame about what you're bringing to the other party. It's really the only way to be successful living with someone who doesn't have ADHD, unless you REALLY have your stuff together. Even then, ADHD people tend to have odd ways of doing things that help them see the process through, so it's best to be very direct and open about it. I like this a lot, but I do it at night instead. It's a good way to have an hour before bed that isn't staring at a screen, which helps a lot with being able to sleep. Now if I don't hear the dishwasher running as I'm going to bed, my brain just identifies that "something's wrong" and I turn it on or whatever. Honestly having a dishwasher in my last two apartments has changed my life
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Aug 16, 2021 20:21
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unbutthurtable posted:Honestly having a dishwasher in my last two apartments has changed my life same. when i was a kid, we didnt have a dishwasher so when it was my turn to do the dishes, i’d do a few and then fill the sink up with water and hella soap suds to hide the dirty dishes. having a dishwasher has freed up so much of my time and mental energy. it’s still hard for me to do some very simple household tasks. sometimes it takes everything i have to get started on a chore. to combat this, i tell Alexa to play one song and race to finish the task before the song ends. i do the same thing with the microwave timer when im reheating food. what’s so annoying to me is that im so productive in my professional life but my personal life is very disorganized.
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Aug 16, 2021 20:37
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durrneez posted:
Professional life is easy because if I don't keep up, I might inconvenience someone else. Nobody's directly inconvenienced if I live in a pigsty.
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Aug 17, 2021 01:33
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Puppy Time posted:Professional life is easy because if I don't keep up, I might inconvenience someone else. That’s interesting; professional life is easier for me because if I gently caress it up I’ll get fired and be homeless and die alone under a bridge. (Or at least I got in the habit of telling myself that to motivate me to do poo poo. Don’t really recommend it, regardless of effectiveness.) Nobody’s gonna fire me if I don’t do the dishes and order doordash again.
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Aug 17, 2021 01:57
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Arcsech posted:That’s interesting; professional life is easier for me because if I gently caress it up I’ll get fired and be homeless and die alone under a bridge. I'm just a major people pleaser and feel like I need to earn my place in society via Hard Work, so it's basically the same thing just with "and everyone will hate and shun me" added in.
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Aug 17, 2021 03:12
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I find that professional work can be easy if it's novel and interesting  Currently, I'm on week 2 of working on something that by all rights should have taken me maybe 2 days? Still in my probation period at work so it's very possible they just get sick of how slowly I'm working and bin me. It's a very stressful situation to be in, honestly. I think the project we're on is just too vague and undefined (and badly managed) to engage my brain. The work is all just floating around and there's no defined order to do things or any guidance from the people who know what they're doing, and it's the worst possible way to work, for me. 
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Aug 17, 2021 09:12
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Surprise T Rex posted:I find that professional work can be easy if it's novel and interesting Oh god I feel this, for the first time I have a job where I need to make my own decisions and take responsibility and it's paralyzing. In other news, in order to actually develop some hobbies I joined a game jam and finished a game for that and I'm now working on my second thunderdome entry. Having deadlines really helps me, and they say that getting used to finishing projects is good.
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Aug 20, 2021 07:46
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Surprise T Rex posted:I find that professional work can be easy if it's novel and interesting Can you break it down into much, much smaller chunks? Not always possible I know but having a checklist I can rattle through helps me no end
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Aug 20, 2021 10:23
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mfcrocker posted:Can you break it down into much, much smaller chunks? Not always possible I know but having a checklist I can rattle through helps me no end The bit I'm struggling is more the "it takes prolonged mental effort to decipher the existing thing I'm meant to be replacing" so I find it hard to concentrate on even really understanding what I'm meant to do, but braking it down is probably still possible. I'll have to get the notepad out. One thing I find frustrating about this is that there a TONS of helpful coping mechanisms that would help a lot but I completely forget to loving use any of them, on account of y'know, probably having ADHD.
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Aug 20, 2021 10:34
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Surprise T Rex posted:The bit I'm struggling is more the "it takes prolonged mental effort to decipher the existing thing I'm meant to be replacing" so I find it hard to concentrate on even really understanding what I'm meant to do, but braking it down is probably still possible. I'll have to get the notepad out. Lol yeah I managed to break things down for a few weeks then forgot. See also the bullet journal on my desk that I'm finding increasingly difficult to fill in
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Aug 20, 2021 10:48
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mfcrocker posted:See also the bullet journal on my desk that I'm finding increasingly difficult to fill in Yeah. Bullet journalling as a method makes perfect sense to my brain because it works just fine if you have a todo list, random pages of notes about a specific thing, etc all mixed in together haphazardly which is how my brain works... but I forget to use it and it ends up buried under a pile of crap on my desk and welp, nevermind, it was handy for the four days I did fill it in!
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Aug 20, 2021 11:05
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Lol my bullet journal is currently buried under 4" of junk on my desk with maybe 5 pages filled. I also forgot to take my "pay attention and remember to do poo poo" pills today which seems to happen once a week. I really need to keep a stash in my car for these occasions.
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Aug 27, 2021 19:02
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That's illegal unless they are in a correctly marked container. So maybe ask your pharmacist to split your next refill into 2 bottles.
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Aug 27, 2021 22:28
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Depends where you live, nobody would give a gently caress over here.
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Aug 27, 2021 22:30
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Okay sure. Know your local rules. In my state in the US, ADHD medication is heavily restricted, and you don't want a speeding ticket to turn into a drug charge.
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Aug 27, 2021 22:37
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mlnhd posted:Okay sure. Know your local rules. In my state in the US, ADHD medication is heavily restricted, and you don't want a speeding ticket to turn into a drug charge. I always have my phone on me, and I have the CVS app and can bring up my filled prescriptions. It's not nearly as big of a worry as it used to be. HOWEVER, if you're going to bring medication on a plane, into work, anywhere you may take it and get questioned, I absolutely recommend having a prescription bottle on you. Just makes people not even question you.
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Aug 28, 2021 02:20
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And, no joke, I have probably 10-15 10mg Ritalins stashed in multiple different places... Backpacks (I think three separate), my car, my work bag, my bike bag, you name it. I rarely ever use them, but it's comforting knowing that I have some if I really need to focus.
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Aug 28, 2021 02:24
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I stashed an extra bottle of pills once. And by stashed I mean lost. And by extra I mean only. I found them three years later, expired.
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Aug 28, 2021 02:31
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I started using a weekly pill box like an old because I kept having to count my remaining pills in the bottle to work out if I'd taken it that day. I almost always had but yeah that poo poo got tiresome real fast
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Aug 28, 2021 08:37
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The old classic "Did I take my pills, or did I think about taking them and then go do something else?"
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Aug 28, 2021 11:12
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YggiDee posted:The old classic "Did I take my pills, or did I think about taking them and then go do something else?" ... Well, poo poo. *quickly takes meds* It might be too late in the day, but at least I shall have a very efficient evening
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Aug 28, 2021 11:44
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mlnhd posted:That's illegal unless they are in a correctly marked container. So maybe ask your pharmacist to split your next refill into 2 bottles. Seems I could just use a previous months pill bottle. I can always pull up my prescription on my phone anyways.
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Aug 28, 2021 15:12
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YggiDee posted:The old classic "Did I take my pills, or did I think about taking them and then go do something else?" I did this a lot so I ripped out a calendar and stuck it next to where I keep my pills and I put a checkmark on the current day that I take my pills. I’ve occasionally still forgotten and then it becomes a scene from Momento: this setting and these motions don’t feel familiar… my pill bottle is behind the lotion and my hands are dry… so I probably didn’t take my pills yet?
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Aug 28, 2021 16:13
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mfcrocker posted:I started using a weekly pill box like an old because I kept having to count my remaining pills in the bottle to work out if I'd taken it that day. I've used a daily pill box since I was like, 13. It's so much easier and I usually keep it close to my bed so I can take it first thing when I wake up. Also lets me check it multiple times throughout the day as I wonder if I have garbage brains or forgot to take my meds or both.
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Aug 28, 2021 21:20
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Yeah, I started using a pill calendar shortly after I got my first prescription (so, when I was 20).durrneez posted:I’ve occasionally still forgotten and then it becomes a scene from Momento: this setting and these motions don’t feel familiar… my pill bottle is behind the lotion and my hands are dry… so I probably didn’t take my pills yet?
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Aug 28, 2021 21:40
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One of my biggest problems is the classic "listed = done" mindset. I make comprehensive lists, I make vague lists, hell I may even make the best lists this world has ever seen but I couldn't tell you because I never go back and look them. I've tried to set-up my phone to be a resource for me, and there have been some good suggestion here so far, but having grown up actually in the late 80s/90s my brain isn't hardwired for it. I can change that, I'm just not sure what I need to kickstart a successful routine for myself. Maybe some of you sharing your widgets, task apps, reminder apps, home screen set up even? Might help more than just myself. (iphone user)
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Sep 1, 2021 10:53
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I use dry erase boards for my lists. Have a small one on the wall in my room for stuff that needs done around the house. And another one in my office for work stuff. Two colors. Stuff I’d like to get done today. And stuff that needs done sometime soon.
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Sep 1, 2021 12:33
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White board next to my work space, calendar in the bathroom, calendar on phone (with alarm notifications for "the thing is coming up soon" and/or "time to go do the thing"). Also Microsoft's To Do app because I like the chime it plays when I mark off a task as done. (And it will play a sound to remind me to do a thing) Keeping a vague list of "things that need to be done" on the whiteboard didn't help: I divided mine into days of the week and each week I write down two or three tasks to do for each day- mainly small things that need doing, time-sensitive things, etc. I also write appointments and the like on there to make sure I don't overbook myself. It's also good for forcing myself into self care things like exercise or taking a break- if it's on the whiteboard, I gotta do it! It works out reasonably well for now. Knowing how my brain works, I'll eventually have to find some new setup, but at the moment it's allowed me to keep a lot of responsibilities in order.
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Sep 2, 2021 01:55
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I recently found a pretty cool app called Medisafe, you can set up alerts on when to take your various meds and get refill reminders. Another one I’ve been trying is called Actuflow, it uses iOS shortcuts to create a pop up that asks you to enter your intentions and wait out a short timer before opening specific apps. It’s obnoxious, but that’s exactly what I want sometimes to keep me from getting hyperfocused on social media.
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Sep 2, 2021 03:28
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Meds: I have a medadvisor app (not sure if it works in other countries, I'm Aussie) tied to my pharmacy where my scripts are. It lists all my scripts, remaining refills, and a countdown timer for when I can refill it, plus I hit a button to order it so I don't have to wait in the pharmacy/they definitely have it. It sends me a reminder for when a script needs refilling, or when a script is about to expire. For my iphone: Day: - All the addictive apps aren't on home, but in the app menu, so I can't just one-click them from the home screen. - I use 'screen time' which blocks off apps after a certain amount of time, and if I want back in I have to enter a pin code which gives me 15 more minutes. - Due app to bug the poo poo out of me with frequent reminders. Night: - Downtime blocks off all the apps bar a couple of important life function ones (calendar, etc.) and the Forest app. To access them, I have to enter a pin. - I then use the forest app with a three hour timer which is generally just enough time to bore myself to sleep in bed. Browsers: - I use the limit extension which times all the websites like reddit, and when it runs out it blocks it (with no ability to add more time). - Then I have the limit extension unpinned so if I ever want to turn it off I have to go into the menu and then access it (adding an extra step to the 'just turn it off and go back to browsing' thing). Watch: - Haptic feedback every hour to shake me out of the hyperfocus zone. - Stand up and do things reminders. This is all to make it so I don't spend 15 hours in a haze on a website binging a 100 pages of archive.
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Sep 2, 2021 06:00
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YggiDee posted:The old classic "Did I take my pills, or did I think about taking them and then go do something else?" Or, "Is the memory I have of taking my pills from this morning or from some other day?"
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Sep 3, 2021 15:24
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poo poo, don't doxx me like that.
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Sep 3, 2021 16:22
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Arcsech posted:Don’t we all. I don’t know if it’ll be useful, but I’ve found Due (unfortunately iOS only, though there’s probably something similar for Android) super useful - it’s a reminder app that’ll re-notify you periodically if you haven’t acknowledged the reminder, with super easy rescheduling if you need to postpone something.
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Sep 3, 2021 22:17
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JayMax posted:I'm about to move in with my girlfriend and it's making me super anxious. I don't want to be the rear end in a top hat who has to be reminded to do the dishes all the time. I've been there before. Here's an update: the weeks before the move were very stressful, but we're doing great now that we're settled at the new place. There's so much novelty to keep me focused and invested: new town, new job, new friends. Plus, we have a dishwasher! I've adapted to the new environment really well and it's been a big confidence boost. I hope I can keep a handle on things once the routine sets in. JayMax fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Sep 3, 2021 |
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Sep 3, 2021 22:55
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Hello hi I'm walking into this because over the course of like, two weeks, I've managed to find myself in the position of probably maybe thinking I have some attention disorder. Met a new person at work, they came out that they had ADHD and explained how it affected them on the job and it basically synced 1:1. Issues with focus, stupid little mistakes that you know you know better of but just have difficulty doing consistently. My own experience is that I feel like I'm constantly being torn between a bunch of things, and while I can very quickly respond to something that becomes urgent, getting back into whatever is just... Hard. Unfortunately, this isn't a job where I'm given the luxury of focusing on things. Given space I can feel really productive get a lot done but it's a fleeting opportunity at work. And then shortly thereafter, hung out with my bestie. Turns out he also recently got diagnosed with it and he talked about his day-to-day and it just completely destroyed me. poo poo like, good school performance (well, for me, very skin of my teeth a lot of the time. He struggled a lot more with it) but eternally putting things off and generally experiencing tremendous anxiety about it but being unable to address that constructively by actually doing the thing. That, but also in like, everything else in life. It's just hard, in general, to start anything at all. Even hobby stuff is very difficult to get into despite really liking it whenever I do. So I decided to talk to the 'rents about it, and, welp, turns out everyone in the family has it and I was never told. So, uh, poo poo. How do I go about it? Friend told me GP->psych referral, parents said "talk to your doctor". Either way it's a trip to them, but is there a better game plan knowing I have confirmed diagnoses in the family?
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Sep 6, 2021 08:05
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Kalsco posted:So, uh, poo poo. How do I go about it? Friend told me GP->psych referral, parents said "talk to your doctor". Either way it's a trip to them, but is there a better game plan knowing I have confirmed diagnoses in the family? Unless you absolutely need a referral from your GP, like for some insurance poo poo or something, you are free to just shop for a psych directly. The GP isn't the one to diagnose you. Just look up psychs in your area that handle the kind of poo poo you need handled, and make an appointment. note: this is from the context of the US
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Sep 6, 2021 08:13
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